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[Filipinasadhart]

Wala siya time sa akin. Di kami nagkikita. once a week na lang minsan wala pa. Haaay. Wala daw kasi siya pera at busy siya sa family biz nila. hay.

Nakakainis naman yun ganyan sis na experienced ko din yan. Para bang wala ng paraan. Marami naman ways Kung gusto Talaga.
Ewan ko ba Kung alle by na lang yan ng mga Lalake. Ano ba Tamang isagot jan kapag sinabi ng bf nyo wala sya pera. 

I feel bad yun sinabi ng ex ko yan dati sa akin. Para bang Hindi sya makagawa ng paraan para mag kita kame. Napakadame dahilan.

[simang]

^sisses, a guy who wants to see you and be with you will see you and be with you.

[frappysabz]

Trust issues.

I have been dating him for 6 months now. He is much older than me and has had several relationships prior, all leading to the girl cheating on him. I don't understand why i have to get punished for what those girls did to him. He would often accuse me, doubt me, and would even verbally tell me that he does not know if i'm telling the truth. Yung simpleng hindi lang ako nakareply kaagad, nagdududa na. Yung tipong na-off ko lang yung location services sa phone while chatting with him on fb, nasa motel na daw ako. Ang daming theories! I have never cheated on anyone ever, i was also fresh out of being cheated on by my ex when i met him.

It's just super frustrating that i cant do anything to gain his trust kasi whatever i say i think he won't believe me. I love him dearly and i can't tell him because he doesn't believe in 'i love you's. I don't really know what to do anymore, i can't prove to him anything kasi he would always say na 'anyone could say that, it doesn't make it true' or 'you're hiding something', telling me that i'm secretive when in fact i report to him e
verything that i do.

Right now i feel like sh*t, i am offended that he makes me look like a liar, but i love him so much i just pray to God that he gives me the patience to stand this guy until he lets me in his walls. What do i do now? I want this relationship to work, he's everything i want except for the fact na the most important foundation in a relationship di niya maibigay sa akin

 

na sad ako sa kwento mo sis. kasi parang ako yung partner mo. i never believe sa husband ko and madalas ako magduda we have 4kids na. and kakapanganak ko lang din. nawala kasi trust ko nung niloko nia ako noon and ngayon mahilig sa porn sites na sumobra naman ata eh kinaselos ko na. ayun last night we have a fight. and until now wala kami communication. and umayaw na siya sa relationship namin i don't know kung sa galit lang yun or he mean it talaga nasasakal na daw siya sa akin. and sobra na selos ko. so now, di ko din alam gagawin ko. i want him to help me ma gain trust ko... pero di niya naiintindihan napuno na ata sa akin.

mapapayo ko sayo sis, try mo iwasan mga ayaw niya para di na siya mag isip.

[rheinfall18]

i'm not sure if i want to consider this as love problem or baka personal problem but i just feel pressured at this point in my life kasi most of my friends were already getting married and already have their own family/kids. i'm already 29 and my bf and i have been together for 4 years. though we talked sometimes about settling down but still have no clear plans.

another thing is that his parents were of different religion and of course they would want us to be on the same side but i can't.

so when there are times that my friends and i got together and talk about these things, i would worry because i'm the only girl in our group and only the three of us are remaining. way back they would joke that i should be the first to get married since i'm the only girl but i guess it will turn out the other way around. hehe

[simang]

^everyone gets that -- pag single, kelan magkakaboyfriend. pag may boyfriend, kelan mag aasawa. pag nag-asawa, kelan magkakababy. it won't stop, so don't take it personally. feeling ko kaw lang naman napepressure just because of your age. most of the times we (women especially) tend to live our lives with other people as standards, which is sometimes, yun yung dahilan kung bat nawawala tayo sa sarili nilang timeline.

A friend of mine posted this on her timeline (she's been married for 5 years or so, no kids, 27 y/o and is very independent and strong):

"Women around my age always gets asked (if they haven't yet) a.) When will they get married? or b.) When will they have a baby?

Why are we stereotyping women to wife and mother roles? Women have different definitions of success and happiness. And WE are capable of making them ALL happen.

How about... When will you win your Nobel Prize? When will you earn your first million? When will you be able to buy your first car, your first house? When will you go to Europe for the vacation you dreamed of? When will you get your PhD? When will you be a popstar? When will I save enough money to buy an RV and tour the entire Luzon coastline?"

My point is go do your own thing. Don't give in to the pressure of getting married just because the society tells you that you should be married by this age. Unless of course if being married is your ultimate dream, then by all means go for it.

I don't see any problems with not being married (or at least engaged) at your age. Ang mas pinakanakita ko pang problem is yung difference ng religion. You should settle that early on dahil sooner than later you have to decide who converts to what.

[rheinfall18]

My point is go do your own thing. Don't give in to the pressure of getting married just because the society tells you that you should be married by this age. Unless of course if being married is your ultimate dream, then by all means go for it.

I don't see any problems with not being married (or at least engaged) at your age. Ang mas pinakanakita ko pang problem is yung difference ng religion. You should settle that early on dahil sooner than later you have to decide who converts to what.

wow sis thanks a lot! yeah i think that will be our priority to settle - the religion issue. yes narerealize ko nga yung point mo, and also hindi ko pa nafefeel that i'm already 29. i mean i feel i'm still young enough to do what i love to do and enjoy first my singlehood iniisip ko na lang blessing yung hindi pa pagbibigay ni Lord sakin ng opportunity to get married so i won't feel any pressure.

[budzwhiz]

Goddamnit I f*cking miss you so much. So bad. It sucks. It hurts. Even after everything that's happened, I still want you back. And what hurts most is knowing you don't feel the same way. Knowing you've made up your mind. Oh damn, how could you. :/ F*ck this. :'/

[@hottie]

Yung na friendzoned ako sa guy friend ko. 

[teambdc]

engaged. in love (?) with another guy na may gf din na iba.

[aktib]

My boyfriend is not happy with his work. This is his third company already, hindi sya laging masaya at sobrang mainitin ang ulo. Pati ako na-aapektuhan, ako pa naman enthusiastic sa life, kahit di ko gusto basta blessing masaya ako. Pero parang na dadrag ako sa mood nya . Nakakadrain makinig. Naubos na lahat ng encouragement words ko. Hindi sya tamad, pero lagi syang hirap sa work. I don't know what to do. Pa advice naman 

[j.adore]

How old is he? Hirap in what sense?

[TomHansen]

engaged. in love (?) with another guy na may gf din na iba.

Mahirap yan teambdc, I just hope bago ka magpakasal sigurado ka na talaga sa feelings mo. Kalimutan mo muna yung yung other guy, your feelings sa fiance mo ang dapat unahin mong siguraduhin..

[TomHansen]

My boyfriend is not happy with his work. This is his third company already, hindi sya laging masaya at sobrang mainitin ang ulo. Pati ako na-aapektuhan, ako pa naman enthusiastic sa life, kahit di ko gusto basta blessing masaya ako. Pero parang na dadrag ako sa mood nya . Nakakadrain makinig. Naubos na lahat ng encouragement words ko. Hindi sya tamad, pero lagi syang hirap sa work. I don't know what to do. Pa advice naman 

Also anung industry niya and ilang mo/years na siya sa work?

[introvertpixie]

I feel like I am beyond repair

at 16, I loved someone whose 12 years older than me, He just wants my virginity.
I'd gave in. It feels like i am obligated to do so kasi mahal ko yung tao. It became a habit and lasted for 4 months. Maybe I'm not just on top of my game so he just left, he left without even saying goodbye, hid from me on ym and changed his number, no anything. Everytime we do it, i feel devalued after. Walang panahon na di ako naiyak pagkatapos.

at 18, I was verbally sexually harassed by my professor. I was struggling on one of my subjects on engineering. came to the faculty room to ask if kaya ko pa ba umabot if i passed the final exam, he asked me if i am engaged in premarital sex, and tinanong nya kung virgin pa ko. I felt violated and never opened it up to anyone. He said i should see him during the university break for "consulation" syempre natakot ako, hindi ako bumalik. i failed the subject.
 

at 19, I was a battered girlfriend. there I was, i fell in love again. i thought yun na. mahal namin isa't isa and we try to make things work as much as possible. Hindi ko na maisip what nangyari in between  bakit kami di nagwork out, nagsimula kami magaway and so. I tried my harderst to work my way through the relationship, naisip ko kasi. You don't give up on someone you love, diba? then umabot na sa puntong nagkasakitan na kami. madaming beses nangyari yun and i tried to work with him kasi sabi nya mahal nya pa ko, I was waiting for him to provide closure. para alam ko na stop na.

it lasted for almost a year, niloko nya rin ako, may iba siya. tinanong ko if bakit siya may iba, sagot nya sakin was nakuntento ba ko sa pambabae nya. masakit lang. naisip ko kasi at least pag dating sa dulo wala akong pagsisihan kasi nagawa ko na lahat ng pwedeng gawin, walang regrets. got my closure and finally moved on.

at 21, I was an LDR GF. thought siya na ulit kasi he promised to marry me 2 years after. it was difficult. alam kong sobrang needy ko at madalas wala siya. the away went on and on until nagkasawaan na. nakakafrustrate lang kasi paulit ulit akong nagkakamali.


at 23, I've dated someone, ayun bf ko parin siya ngayon. nabuntis nya ko. the moment na nagreturn positive yung PT sabi ko iwan nya na ko, kasi alam ko di nya naman ako paninindigan. Hindi nya nga ako iniwanan, pero cytotec yung naisip nyang gawin, nagawa na daw dati yun nila ng gf nya. basically wala talaga siyang planong panindigan yung bata.

Nagpunta ako sa monumento magisa. nagkita kami pagkatapos. parang wala lang sa kanya, samantalang sakin dama ko parin ngayon. alam ko isa rin akong walang paninindigan sa bata, nagawa ko na and pinipilit ko na wag na maulit.

lagi ko naiisip na wala nang tatanggap sakin kasi ganito na yung past ko. hindi ko alam kung nagkaron ba ko ng depression pero kasi hanggang ngayon hindi parin ako ok, sinubukan ko pumunta sa pgh para magpacheck kaso hindi ako nadiagnose kasi kailangan pala ng kasama.

ngayon yung bf ko, sya parin naman. madaming beses na ko nakikipaghiwalay kasi ramdam ko na mawawala din siya, pinipigilan nya ko palagi, siguro ayaw ko rin kaya nandito parin ako. konting away namin dalawa naiisip ko na itigil na lang kaso ayaw niya. wala rin akong paninindigan sa decision ko kasi mahal ko nga siya.  hindi ko na alam ano ba gagawin ko. kasi alam ko pag iniwan ko siya at nakipaghiwalay ako, ako rin maghahabol kagaya ng ginawa ko sa bf ko dati.

sobrang nahihirapan ako ngayon sa buhay ko in general. siguro nga karma ko ito. 

[TomHansen]

^ Sis introvertpixie nakakalungkot yung story mo and i know most of us hindi talaga maiintindihan ang nararamdaman mo but please never give up - if gusto mong ilabas ang nararamdaman mo at wala kang mapagsabihan ilabas mo dito sa gt kasi ako ganyan ang ginagawa ko and it's helping me a lot, nakahanap pa nga ako ng kaibigan dito. Wag kang mawalan ng pag-asa, lahat ng tao may kanya kanyang problema yung iba mas mabigat pa pero hindi sila nag-give up.. Talo tayo kapag sumuko tayo sa mga pinagdadaanan natin.

Right now I think you should really break up with your bf, hindi na healthy ang relationship niyo nuon pa and this time panindigan mo sis - mahirap lang sa simula pero para sa future mo rin yan.. Tapos after ng breakup magfocus ka lang sa sarili mo at sa career, huwag ka munang makipagdate or tumanggap ng suitors kasi if you look sa story mo dikit dikit yung bfs mo, hindi ka nagbigay ng time para sa sarili mo. Love yourself muna, wag munang humanap ng lovelife. Tignan mo dito sa gt ang daming singles dito pero masaya naman sila kahit walang bf(raise your hand girls!), kaya mo yan sis introvertpixie.

Also, never ever believe in karma sis di po totoo yan..

[three8one]

sis introvert pano ka naman makakarma?

habang binabasa ko ang story mo nalungkot naman ako para sayo. bakit kailangan mo danasin yung mga ganun bagay samantalang ang nais mo lang naman eh magkaron ng isang tunay na magmamahal sayo. siguro ang maisa suggest ko sayo ngayon stop mo muna si puso sa paghahanap ng magmamahal na yan. baka kasi sa kagustuhan mong makahanap di mo namamalayan pagod na pagod ka na pala. kailangan mo rin magpahinga. ang magandang gawin mo mag focus ka muna sa sarili mo. ayusin mo ang sarili mo, stay healthy pa rin. Diba sabi mo buntis ka ngayon? gawin mong inspirasyon ang batang dinadala mo para ma divert mo ang isipan mo sa ibang bagay. paghandaan mo ang paglabas ni baby, wag ka umasa sa tatay nya para di ka madismaya kung sakali man dumating ang panahon na need ng lumabas ni baby at humingi ka sa kanya ngtulong eh hindi ka nya matulungan. parati ka rin manalangin, humingi ng guidance at ikunsulta sa Panginoon ang bawat desisyon na gagawin mo. Sabi nga ng Lord sa Matthew 11:28, Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
darating din ang panahon at masusumpungan mo ang tamang taong magmamahal sayo ng nararapat na para sayo. be patient lang.

 

[introvertpixie]

wala na po akong baby. pinaabort ko dati kaya naiisip ko na karma ko itong mga nangyayari. hindi lang yung bf ko yung may kasalanan. pati ako din kasi nagdecision rin naman ako

hindi ako proud sa ginawa ko pero nagawa ko na. I get it.

I just wanna be happy. pero it seems like it's too much to ask. feeling ko hindi ko na deserve sumaya kasi nga dahil sa nagawa ko

[TomHansen]

Sis If possible talk to a psychiatrist, and NO hindi ibig sabihin nito na may sakit ka or what ha, mas matutulungan ka lang kasi nila para intindihin ang mga pangyayari sa buhay mo especially nung bata ka.. Love and forgive yourself introvertpixie.

[mooncake and leaves]

introvertpixie:
much as i dread referencing sex and the city (lol), they had this episode that i think applies to you. in it, carrie goes to a shrink and there, she started talking about big, her previous relationships with emotionally banktrupt men and how much they have hurt her. finally, after all carrie's whining, the shrink says to her, "well, the one thing they all have in common is YOU."

that's you. acknowledge the fact that you are choosing the wrong men and they are choosing you because you are an easy target. people who are truly happy with themselves gravitate towards those who are the same. you are not happy, which is why you repeat the pattern of chasing the wrong people. if you are not happy, no one can make you happy. you wouldnt be able to recognize a good thing even if it bites you in the ass.

also, if petty fights & minor differences make you go crazy, if they create so much drama, it means you can not handle yourself. if you don't have a good grip on your personality & what you want, how do you propose to handle another person?

i don't think what you're experiencing is karma. but if thinking about your situation in that sense forces you to reevaluate yourself and your decisions, by all means, go ahead. however, to me, thinking that everything you perceive to be wrong in your life was caused by some mystical, cosmic force has a very doomed, lazy, passive aspect to it. eh hindi ka naman doomed. you need to take responsibility for your mess. in thinking that all this is fated, you may be reducing your accountability.

to me, you need to be alone now and for a very long time. figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. study, build a career, enjoy your own company and your friends. when you're feeling better, you can go out on dates but with the intention of learning about yourself and expanding your network. it's not easy. but like they say, you solve it one issue at a time. if you look at your life and go, ok everything needs to be ok now, you won't be able to solve anything.

once you've fixed yourself, that's when you can start thinking about being in a relationship again. because being in a serious relationship means inviting someone to share your life. people who aren't messed up rsvp yes to celebrations, not disasters.

P.S.
i second the suggestion of seeing a good, well-respected psychiatrist. you went through a major ordeal with the abortion. it is overwhelming and you will benefit from seeing a professional. also, now is a good time to reach out to your family and friends. you need all the love and support you can get from people you trust.

[introvertpixie]

Hello mga sis.

I tried breaking up with him kanina. I know I'm broken and I can't get a hold of myself and that should change.

he said na bakit kailangan ko umalis. I said I don't want to but I feel it's the right thing to do. Sabi ko I think I'm beyond repair and nadadamay ka dun. don't you want someone na hindi nakikipaghiwalay sayo every time nagaaway? I think I'm mentally Ill. hindi ko alam if because of the abortion or nagpatanong patong na dahil sa mga nangyari sa buhay ko.  I'm being selfish na nga by not being willing sa relationship na to.  I'm being unfair.

He just cried there. He said I am difficult to handle pero kasama yun. He said nasasaktan siya every time I think I'm unlovable because I am and I deserve it. Hindi ko daw ba pwedeng hindi daw siya mawala while I learn to love myself on the way? let me love you until you learn to love yourself nga diba (when we started dating he said that was his song for me kasi he knew what I've been through)? I know it's never anyone's job to fix you but I want to. I want to be with you on the way.


ayun. he broke down on his car. nagiyakan lang kami. in short hindi kami naghiwalay.

I don't know if he's just being manipulative or he means what he says. I don't know if di ko lang din kayang panindigan yung break up kasi subconsciously I want the relationship kahit I'm self destructive.

I did consider going to a psychiatrist kaso super mahal ng rates sa hospital. the abortion has also caused me my life's savings. kaya wala pa budget as of now unfortunately.