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[sugardrop]

No one else can get us out of a hard situation but ourselves. Choice din natin minsan na mahirapan na lang when there's still a way out.

[ysa.belle]

hay.... i used to be one of the gtalkers who gave advices sa old thread... 
and i am back... not to give advise but to ask for lots of it... 
i will be sharing soon... im still in the stage that everytime i start talking about it, naguunahan ang mga luha ko... and i thought ubos na ang tears ko...     

[Filipinasadhart]

hay.... i used to be one of the gtalkers who gave advices sa old thread... 
and i am back... not to give advise but to ask for lots of it... 
i will be sharing soon... im still in the stage that everytime i start talking about it, naguunahan ang mga luha ko... and i thought ubos na ang tears ko...     

Hala! Iyak mo Lang ng iiyak sis pero after nyan tahan ka na ha... Virtual hugs sis

[cecilydee]

misskim, how was it? did he speak to you na ba?

[s_h_o_b_z]

Me and my boyfriend don't really fight too often except when he socializes outside of work with his co-workers. Not just happy hours pero they go to clubs/bars or house parties til 3am. We're in a long distance kaya di ko pa sila nakikilala personally. There's this girl in his group though na uncomfortable ako. Saw pictures of them together sa facebook (twice silang dalawa lang sa frame then one group picture). This girl is really pretty kaya siguro lumalabas insecurities ko. She's the one that posts pictures sa facebook page ng bf ko kaya I ended up noticing her more. We've fought about this before, kaya he doesn't go out too often with them sa bars/clubs. Dati kasi every weekend. Last weekend we fought nanaman about the same issue kasi he decided to go sa house nung girl with fellow co-workers naman and got home madaling araw na. He said there's no reason to be jealous pero di ko talaga mapigilan. I get really irritated pag nakikita ko posts niya sa facebook ng bf ko and whenever i hear her name.

What should I do? I told him to let me meet his co-workers especially that girl sa skype when we first had a fight. Until now wala pa so I asked him again nung nag-away kami recently.

[ysa.belle]

Hala! Iyak mo Lang ng iiyak sis pero after nyan tahan ka na ha... Virtual hugs sis

2 years nako umiiyak sis... and the pain is still here... 

[j.adore]

^Ang tagal..

The actual pain happens for a bit but if it lasts that long, it means choice na.

[sugardrop]

^^
Let go of whatever it is you're holding on to, heal, and love again when you're ready.

[ysa.belle]

^heal. i am trying my best. konti konti po. love again. mahirap ata yun. so far okay na rin akong ganito. maybe i'm not meant to have someone. but i dont know. naguguluhan pa ako but i am helping myself.. konti konti.

^^hindi siya choice. how i wished it was kase kung choice siya, naparaanan ko na. what happened is so complicated. may bata na na damay. and hindi naman tapos na yung relationship eh.

when a relationship ends, andun yung pain and other emotions. yung akin po, hindi naman natapos. things not are quite complicated pero wala naman 3rdparty involved.

nanlalamig mgakamay ko pag hindi siya nagpaparamdam. kinakabahan ako ng sobra and parang hindi ako makahinga pag hindi ko pa siya nakakausap. iyak ako ng iyak pag minsan kase hindi ko matiis yung sakit. what i am going throug is difficult. though iba iba ang mga sakit na napagdaanan or napapagdaanan naten, kanya kanya din level of pain kase di ba?

[Yamski]

Hmmm.. how should I start? Uhm, this may be petty pero I'll share it anyway. I'm re-evaluating my relationship with my bf of 9.5 years.

Nung November, his family booked a trip to Boracay. Dahil gusto niyang sumama at kahit hindi sya nakakasiguro na makakapag leave sya from work, we also booked our tickets last November. Pinayagan naman sya na magleave. Since Monday to Wednesday yung schedule namin and pinayagan na sya sa trabaho, yun na rin ang pinili kong Mandatory Leave for 2014. Sa office kasi, kailangan "scheduled" ang mandatory leave. Buti na lang, wala 'kong kasabay and naapprove na ng Boss namin. Ngayon, malapit na yung trip namin, March 31. Biglang sinabi ni bf na kinansel daw lahat ng leaves nila until end of April. In short, hindi na kami tutuloy. Inis na inis ako kasi ang hirap hirap magpaalam ng leave sa office. At hindi na pwede baguhin yung manda leave namin. Anong gagawin ko for 5 days nun? Inisip ko na itutuloy ko na lang yung trip kahit mag solo na lang ako. Ayoko naman na makisama sa family niya ng wala sya. Nahihiya talaga 'ko. And ayoko rin na maawa sila sa'kin. Kasi alam nila na ilang beses na nangyayari sa'min 'to ni bf. Yung lagi niya 'kong pinapaasa na uuwi tapos may biglang emergency sa trabaho kaya hindi matutuloy. Eh di nagpaalam ako sa Mama ko na magsolo trip nga 'ko papuntang Boracay. Btw, first time kong magboracay kaya kahit solo trip, excited pa rin ako. Biglang sabi ng Mama ko, "Gusto mo ba talaga ng ganyang buhay? Lagi kang namamalimos ng oras mula sa boyfriend mo. Mahirap yang ganyan. Magisip isip ka na. Hindi na kayo mga bata." Ngayon, napapaisip tuloy ako. Si Mama kasi hindi naman nagsasalita yun ng kahit ano tungkol sa bf ko. Kahit yung mga araw na nakaready na 'ko for our date tapos biglang hindi matutuloy kasi pinabalik si bf sa trabaho or pinatutulong sya ng mommy nya sa family business. Kahit nga yung minsan umuuwi si bf dito (sa gabi) tapos dito matutulog, wala ka talagang maririnig mula sa parents ko.

Napapaisip talaga 'ko kung tama pa ba na magpatuloy yung relationship namin. Pa'no kung in times of emergencies? Wala pa rin sya. May napanood pa 'ko lately na palabas, yung babae pinapagalitan ng nanay nya at sinasabihan na wag nang ituloy yung kasal kasi nga parang yung babae lang ang magpapakasal. Wala lagi yung fiance nya kahit sa wedding preps. In three years, magpapakasal na rin kami ni bf pero ngayon pa lang wala na 'kong maasahan na oras mula sa kanya. Nagdadalawang isip na tuloy ako. Pa'no kung biglang magka-anak kami? Ako lang din magpapalaki  magisa? Pero present sya lagi pag practice ng pag-gawa ng anak?

[j.adore]

^Ano yung work niya? Bakit paiba iba schedule? Nag-iipon ba ng bongga para sa kinabukasan kaya ganon ang dedication?

Ang tiyaga mo din Wala akong patience sa ganyan yung magpprepare at planado na tapos bigla cancel. 3 strikes, out!

Nagkausap na ba kayo ng bf mo about this attitude of his? Ano ang reasoning niya?

[Yamski]

Sundalo. And i believe walang malaking impact sa pagiipon nya yung mga ganun pangyayari sa'min. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit humahaba ang pasensya ko. Normally, pag sagad na, hanggang dun na lang eh. Pero pagdating talaga sa kanya, ewan ko ba. Lagi naman kasi siyang nakakakabawi talaga pag nakakauwi sya. Pero etong boracay trip na 'to talaga ang wala siyang pwedeng ipangbawi sa'kin. Kasi ang dami kong oras na nasayang para sa pagplano ng trip na 'to. Pati manda leave ko, sayang.

Pero sabi niya kanina, makikipagsapalaran daw sya para matuloy 'tong trip na 'to. Sabi ko kasi maghanap hanap na sya ng ibang magtitiyaga sa buhay na kaya niya lang ibigay. Matuloy man o hindi yung trip na 'to, gusto kong makaipon ng strength to walk away. Parang hindi ko talaga kaya na ganito lagi eh. Haay.. ewan ko.. bahala na.

[ysa.belle]

Sis Yamski, wow. 9.5 years. Matagal din yun ah.
But for me, hindi nasusukat sa tagal ng relasyon yan. Nasa time na biniigay.
Boracay i s still Boracay. Maganda sana if may kasama ka pero if wala, tuloy mo ang trip mo. You can hve this time to think and assess your relationship di ba?

I wish you well sis...

[cecilydee]

Sis Yamski, mahirap talaga ang mamalimos ng oras sa isang sundalo. Sis, ganon na talaga ang lifestyle nila..their time is not yours, not even for their family...its for the country. Kaya sis wag mo na siyang pahirapan sa mga lines na "mas pinili mo ang pagigig sundalo mo kaysa sa akin" Kasi, I bet wala talaga siyang magagawa dyan..unless mag resign siya as a sundalo.

If you cannot stand your situation right now with him, you will never understand it when you get married..naiintindihan ko kung bakit ka nagdadalawang isip ngyon...hindi iyan relasyon kung walang oras na nilalaan.

nabasa ko ang previous post mo sa "Jobless BF" I think ang next problem naman nito if magreresign siya as a sundalo - aling job naman ang papasukan niya?

Suggestion ko mag try kayo mangibang bansa. Doon kayo makipagsapalaran. Mas malaki opportunity niya doon lalo na if magaral siya ng mga short courses. May kakilala ako na ang guy walang work hanggang 35 years old pero dahil Canadian citizen ang napangasawa may opportunity siya at nag aral muna ng short course and now sobrang laki na ng sweldo niya kaysa sa girl..so, hindi nag give up si girl. Instead, tinulungan niya pa ang hubby niya (asawa na ngyon) at super responsible na si guy.

[Yamski]

Thanks, sis ysa.belle. Yeap, I'll take the manda as time na rin para magnilay-nilay.

Yes, sis cecilydee, i know that. In fact, bago pa man sya mag sundalo alam na niya na ayoko talaga mag end up with someone sa armed forces / pnp for the same reasons you mentioned plus feeling ko babaero lahat ng sundalo. Hahahah.. siguro, gusto nya talagang mag silbi sa bayan. Kaya hinayaan ko na siya. Iniisip ko rin nuon na hindi naman kami forever eh, bakit ko naman pipigilan yung pangarap nya? Pa'no pag hindi kami ang magkatuluyan? Basta in the end, hindi pa rin ako magaasawa ng someone from public service. Si Papa kasi Police. So, medyo kabisado ko na yung priorities nila. Ang difference lang eh kahit papa'no si Papa nuon, talagang pag sinabi niyang darating sya, darating talaga. Well, ang laki rin kasi ng difference nila, medyo boss na kasi si Papa kaya somehow, may oras syang kayang ibigay sa'min.

Nakatapos naman ng college si bf. I can say na magaling din syang mag bake. And may mga skilled certificates rin sya on electronics, etc. prior entering the service. Mahilig kasi yun matuto ng kung [textspeak!]-ano. Isa sa mga options na tinitingnan nya ay sumampa sa barko, which also means lagi pa rin syang wala. Another option is business, which is also time consuming. Yung mommy nya umaasa na si bf ang magmamana ng isang business nila. Kaso kailangan talaga niya ng oras para magmanage. And he knows very well na duon sanay na 'ko since high school days namin. Ang Papa pala ni bf, dati rin sundalo, pero ngayon may sarili na rin na business. Baka yun ang sinusundan niyang yapak. Hahahaha..

Anyway, I'll continue to pray for us. Yun lang naman talaga ang issue ko sa kanya eh. Sana matanggap ko whole-heartedly yung sitwasyon bago pa man kami umabot sa altar. Baka ngayon lang 'to. Na-frustrate lang siguro ako kasi hindi ako matutuloy sa Boracay. Hahaha..

[ysa.belle]

^goodluck sis!

[dulcette]

Trust issues.

I have been dating him for 6 months now. He is much older than me and has had several relationships prior, all leading to the girl cheating on him. I don't understand why i have to get punished for what those girls did to him. He would often accuse me, doubt me, and would even verbally tell me that he does not know if i'm telling the truth. Yung simpleng hindi lang ako nakareply kaagad, nagdududa na. Yung tipong na-off ko lang yung location services sa phone while chatting with him on fb, nasa motel na daw ako. Ang daming theories! I have never cheated on anyone ever, i was also fresh out of being cheated on by my ex when i met him.

It's just super frustrating that i cant do anything to gain his trust kasi whatever i say i think he won't believe me. I love him dearly and i can't tell him because he doesn't believe in 'i love you's. I don't really know what to do anymore, i can't prove to him anything kasi he would always say na 'anyone could say that, it doesn't make it true' or 'you're hiding something', telling me that i'm secretive when in fact i report to him everything that i do.

Right now i feel like sh*t, i am offended that he makes me look like a liar, but i love him so much i just pray to God that he gives me the patience to stand this guy until he lets me in his walls. What do i do now? I want this relationship to work, he's everything i want except for the fact na the most important foundation in a relationship di niya maibigay sa akin

[sugardrop]

^
He needs to resolve those issues on his own. All you can do is just be the loyal and faithful girlfriend and stand by his side until you can, while showing him that he can trust you. But you can only do so much. As you said, it's hard to make a relationship work if it's devoid of one of the basic and important foundations it should have.

But first, you need to have a serious talk with him listening and lowering his defenses until you finish so he'll know how much it is affecting and hurting you. A man who loves you shouldn't make you feel like sh1t and it's not healthy for your well-being. Also, pray for courage and strength if ever you need to walk away from your relationship.

[dulcette]

^^ actually both. When he got tired of his live in partner for almost 2 decades cheating on him, he cheated on her as well. And that gf cheated on him too. And this went on for years. He has issues din kasi with letting go of this woman kasi they have a child together. But i am sure they are no longer in love.

When he met me he was in the process of fixing his life. As in everything changed, before his goals were selfish now he wants to have a life with me. I trust him when he says he is seeing me exclusively. He trusts me enough naman to tell me his plans na hindi alam ng ibang tao including his family. Among all the people in his life right now, ako ang confidante nya. He tells me he has so many plans for me so he hopes na i am telling the truth because he is sacrificing so many things for me, including his family with his babymama.

I already wrote him a letter stating how i feel. He hasnt read it though, weve been on an LDR for 4 months now.

I think he's insecure kasi he knows i'm young and he knows men who would chase after me. I think he doesnt want to lose me kaya sya ganito. I also think na guilty sya kasi nga he has so many baggage (all of which i have accepted) i just dont know how to  make him stop bringing those to me. I want to stay with him all the way until he realizes na i am worth trusting and loving. It's tiring but if you really love someone all the work pays off when he finally lets his walls down. Please lang lord help me be patient and understanding!

[m i k m i k]

Wala siya time sa akin. Di kami nagkikita. once a week na lang minsan wala pa. Haaay. Wala daw kasi siya pera at busy siya sa family biz nila. hay.