I'm currently harboring this undesirable and unforeseen crush on our Spanish professor. I first noticed him at the office when I was enrolling in the course more than a month ago. He came in, had a short chat with one of his previous students who was enrolling as well, then just sat across and stared at me while I pretended to be busy with something else. I definitely looked attractive that time because I dressed up like I was going to a party even though I was going nowhere aside from the school itself. Anyway, for the first two courses, I've been under lady professors but I still keep on seeing him along the corridors (I believe he's teaching higher levels) but I paid him no attention. Or maybe he did catch my attention even just for a bit because he's the one of the very few male professors I've seen in the campus. In this third level, I was surprised to have him as our professor. I got to class 10-15 minutes late (I was the last person to arrive), gave him a short greeting of "Buenos dias" then scrambled to my seat (which is nearest to the door and to his table). I was really surprised when he swiveled his chair pretty close to mine, spoke to me while looking at me directly in the eyes. He asked me (in Spanish) what my name was, to which I stuttered at first because I'm not used to speaking out my thoughts when I'm still mentally unprepared. That's the first time I realized how attractive he is and how gorgeous his eyes and smile are. Then he asked me how I am, to which I answered "Bien... Muy bien" and he kind of waited for me to speak more. When I didn't, he gestured to himself which made me realize that he wanted me to throw him back the question, to which I did. Then he asked me the usual questions during introductions - where I live, how old am I, what I do, what languages I know, and why I study Spanish, to which I replied to and threw him back the questions. I was secretly happy when he asked for my age because I wanted him to see me as a woman because most people who don't know me thinks I'm still in high school or college, and I wanted him to take me seriously. He's from Spain; he's 10 years my senior, and knows a LOT of European languages. Apparently, the entire class was so amused by our conversation mostly because they thought my expressions were funny, and whenever he turns to me to ask questions, I flinch involuntarily at him (In my defense, I have zero confidence in my oral skills and it doesn't help that I find him extremely attractive that I tend to find myself looking down so as not to give away the blush forming in my cheeks). He likes calling me for class participation though cause his eyes crinkle and he smiles a lot, as if he finds me interesting (?) and amusing.
To cut the story short, I feel extremely miserable having him as our professor mostly because I can't seem to concentrate in class at all with him in it. Believe me, I've been doing really well in Spanish during the previous levels (I got "Sobresaliente"s) and I'm really afraid that my grade might plummet down because I appear stupid and clueless most of the time when he asks me questions. If it were any other professor, I wouldn't be like that at all, and I wouldn't be too shy to ask questions if some of the things that were discussed weren't so clear to me. I'm just crossing my fingers that I'll be able to get over this silly crush ASAP so that I'll be able to do really well in our finals. The bad part is, when I'm not in class, all I could think about is him and our future together (albeit impossible due to the teacher-student code of conduct of some sort) and it's really driving me crazy. But honestly, I really want him to like me back in a romantic sort... though I'm not sure if I'm his type at all.
