Money Set Up When Married

[manhattanite]

^I dunno, but maybe that's the max allowance set by their wives.

[Angelme]

honestly ganito ang gusto kong setup.. ganito kase kami ngayon na mag bf gf kami. yung savings lang namin ang magkasama pero the rest ng gastos kanya kanya. gusto ko sana imaintain yun even if kasal na kami (we're getting married next yr). we haven't really discussed this though. minsan kase feeling ko yung mga married couples na magkasama ang income and usually managed by the wife, minsan nahihiya the husband na humingi ng 'extra' for miscellaneous gastos. lalo na kung gusto ng husband na bilhan ng gift si wife diba. parang awkward naman sa kanya kung hihingi sya sa wife ng pambili ng gift para sa kanya, hehe. simple example lang. kaya personally mas gusto kong magkahiwalay kame and may assigned bills lang na babayaran.

also, aminado akong i'm still getting the hang of managing my finances. siguro dahil single pa ako technically kaya medyo bulagsak pa sa money. pero di ko lang maimagine na madamay h2b ko sa mishaps ko when it comes to money.

@Simang, go for it sis.. what's important is you're both comfortable with the set-up, para less conflict in the future. I actually tried to manage his money one time.. nawindang at naguluhan ako, kaya we stick to our original set-up, in that way.. matututo din sya maghandle ng finances. Actually even on our wedding, we also shared the expenses.

[simang]

@Simang, go for it sis.. what's important is you're both comfortable with the set-up, para less conflict in the future. I actually tried to manage his money one time.. nawindang at naguluhan ako, kaya we stick to our original set-up, in that way.. matututo din sya maghandle ng finances. Actually even on our wedding, we also shared the expenses.

Yun din gusto ko sis, na sabay kami matuto maghandle ng money. Also napansin ko kase madalas if hindi napapagkasya ng wife ang budget, sya yung mas nasisisi, haha ayoko mastress cause of money. Haha

Kami din sis share sa wedding namin next yr.

Well iba iba naman talaga ways to do it, feeling ko lang nagwowork samin setup namin ngayon so i want to stick to that

[Angelme]

^ That's good sis! I'm sure it'll work for both you. We're almost 8 years married and rarely we argued about money. It helps also na si husband is not very ma-compute .. just me. Best of luck on your upcoming married life! Enjoy it!

[hun_nie08]

Samin nag aadjust pa kami. Kanya kanya muna. Naka assign lang sino ang gagastos hehe

[jeune]

We have separate accounts but we're both joint owners on each one. Before I quit my work to move overseas, I kept all my earnings and used it to pay for my car payment and insurance, the rest hubby paid for it. I haven't worked for 2 years now and I oversee the budget. Every pay check money is set aside into different accounts for different purposes and whatever is left over, we stick to it most of the time for expenses until he gets paid again.

When I start a job next year I'll still keep my money but will help pay for some minor bills just so hubby can't say anything

[purple_leigh97]

parang mas ok may pera sila together at pera na kanya kanya para hindi pinagaawayan pag may gustong bilhin

[mommyysa]

Almost 2 years na kami married, baby namin more than 2 years na. Quite parang lived in kami dati. Hindi ko ala, bakit hindi namin napag usapan ang money, nahihiya siguro ako or di ko alam how to open or bakit hindi nagka chance pag-usapan bago kami ikasal. Wala akong work for almost 2 years non. Pero kung ano anong sideline ko para magkaroon ng komnting kita. Nagkakaroon namin kahit paano, pag meron ako, binibili ko for baby. Sobrang liit lang ng sweldo ni hubby non and sya ang may hawak non, sobrang bihira lang ako humingi at kung hihingi baka nasa 100 lang. Madalas kinakapos kami kaya humihingi kami sa parents namin ng pambili ng needs ni baby. Nung nagwowork pa si hubby, basta hawak lang nya pera nya and I dont ask him saan nya gastos.
Nagka work ako, kanya kanya parin ng gastos, parang bili ng needs kung sinong bibili. Basta magulo. Kaya hindi na ta-track ng maayos money nya, money ko, expenses namin. Kanya Kanyang bili kung baga at kung sino ang bibili sa isang pagkakataon, sya. So sabi ko, this is not rigth. Dapat may harmony kami sa money. So ngayon, i asked hubby paano ba usapan sa money, hindi naman sya yung direct na ganito ganyan. Saka sa totoo lang ako ang matipid sa sariling expense kasi sya lagi car and sometimes eat sa labas ako commute lang and buy lang sa carinderia pero quits lang din kasi yung iba ko pinambibili ko ng mga pampa beauty. haha!

anyway ayon, ngayon ang ginawa ko inu-unti unti ko. Alam ko na magkano ang money ni hubby, based lang sa alm kong sweldo at commision nya kung meron sinasabi naman nya sakin although hindi super excact. So what I'm starting to do, lahat ng expense nililista ko, gastos ko man o gastos nya, para alam ko saan nya dala money nya, and ako rin namo-monitor ko gastos ko. Pero kanya kanya parin kami ng hawak na money. Tapos sabi nya mag open daw sya ng new account kasi payroll lang yung ATM nya. Ako din ganon. Tas I told him na mag open pa kami ng joint naman. Pumayag naman sya. So andito palang kami sa stage na to.

Questions.
Magulo parin yung sa expense, kasi walang matinong usapan kung sino sa ganito at ganito, eh diba hawak pa namin kanya kanya pera. Madalas ako ang gastos now ng mga gamit ni baby bukod sa milk and diaper sya, kasi hindi naman nya masyado napapansin yung like sa dental, wala ng pajama si baby, toothbrush mga ganong bagay ako lahat. Nauubos ang money ko, so nanghihingi ako kay hubby ng allowance papasok ng work.

Paano ko ba sasabihin at paano ba ang gagawin namin para alam yung expense sa ganito, ganyan.
Then sa savings, since mag oopen kami ng joint account, how much ba or kaylangan ba is equal kami ng ihuhulog kahit na kunwari mas malaki yung sahod nya?

Malapit na mag-aral si baby, in less than a year siguro and plan narin namin bumukod, paano ba ang pag se-save for this? kukunin ba namin sa joint account or may iba pa?

paano i-open kay hubby? mahina kasi ako pag dating sa confrontation eh. hehe.

Thank You!

[cosm!c_ch!c]

@mommyysa more than 2 years na pala kyo nagsasama, so i think dapat matagal nyo na rin napagusapan yan. 2 years is long enough. nung newly married pa din kmi ng hubby ko, prob ko din yan, kasi wala ako income that time. when i got pregnant, i stopped working. di namin napag-usapan. di rin nya binibigay sweldo nyo. binibigyan bigyan na lang nya ko pag may kelangan ako. from the start naman naka-joint account naman kami. ang laman nun yun showers from our wedding. then dumating na lang yun time na nag-demand na ko. pero very understanding naman si hubby. binibigay nya talaga lahat ng sweldo nya sakin then i give him allowance na [textspeak!] so i can budget our expenses. kahit may business na kami. ganun din. lahat ng pera pumunta sa bank then i get what i need--expenses and savings pati allowance nya.

there's nothing wrong naman kung mag-open up ka sa kanya kasi married na kayo. malaking bagay ang pera sa family. i think dapat ang savings nyo will come from your joint income/money. tapos pagusapan nya ilang percent mapupunta sa savings.

[quinone]

mommyysa, for now i think pwede rin naman na itago mo yung resibo ng mga binili mo. tapos singilin mo siya ng half niya paguwi, para alam din ni hubby yung mga maliliit na bagay na madalas di napapansin like toothpaste, powder, etc. kapag naipon/na-total kasi yun, malaki rin ang amt.

kami kasi ni hubby once a month naggo-grocery, sino sobrahan na namin ng konti yung bili namin, halimbawa may extra soap, extra shampoo bago pa maubos, kasi nakakainit ng ulo  kapag naubusan ka ng whatever na kailangan sa bahay. doing this, nakaka save rin sa pamasahe.

since mag-aaral na si baby, agree on a certain amount na both kayo maglalagay sa bank para sa education niya. halimbawa, tig 2K kayo monthly ( or 1K every sweldo) so may 4K si baby sa bank every month.

[ikaela]

^^^Oo, sis, wala naman masama about talking about money, hindi naman siya anything to confront about. If you're uncomfortable with it, you can ease it into conversations kapag may matyempuhan na good timing . Like kunwari, he'll say something about your child, then dun mo isingit yung mga "ah we need to get new clothes for baby, nalakihan na niya yung mga clothes niya."

Sa budget, pwede naman equal kayo sa expenses, but it should depend on your income and NOT on the expenses. For example, ang monthly expenses niyo ay 30k. Tapos ang income mo is 20k while husband's is 30k. So your 30k expenses is 60% of your combined 50k income. 60% is what each of your equal share should be. In this example, your share is 12k (60% of 20k income), while your husband's is 18k (60% of 30k). You can apply the same formula to savings, say, you want to save 10% or 20% of your income.

Marami sisses natin gumagamit ng envelope method for saving. In this method, you have labeled funds for education, car, house, savings, and etc. For me, what really got me into the habit of saving was listing down ALL of my money in and money out. Everything ha -- ultimo candy and piso-piso na nahahanap ko sa sulok-sulok, linilista ko. Dun mo talaga makikita kung saan napupunta pera niyo, saan kayo pwede mag-save, and kung may tanong man si hubby, pwede mo ipakita 'to and say, "o, eto ha, all money accounted for." When I started doing this, my husband, and even the rest of my family, became comfortable with me holding the money, because they know I keep very good records.

[Girltalker2]

Dito nga sa office namin, may ilang guys na nagkekwento na misis nila may hawak ng ATM cards nila, and minsan naaawa ako kasi pag kunwari nagkayayaan kumain sa labas or even magpa-deliver lang ng lunch, hindi sila makasama kasi yung allowance na bigay lang ng misis nila ang meron sila.  I believe you can still be financially responsible as a couple even without just one person, most of the time the wife, handling both your money.

Totoo iyan. Na experience ko din iyan before sa ibang officemates ko, kawawa nga itsura nila. Samantalang sila yung nag-e-earn. Yung isang manager nga sa office namin dati, housewife yung wife nya, kaya full time nakabantay sa kanya at housewife din ang may hawak ng ATM. Pag nag-l-lunch out kami, konti nalang puede mo na matawag na sugapa yung manager na yun. Sya ang manager, and yet aantayin nya magbayad ang lahat, para yung sukli gagamitin nya pambayad ng share nya, tapos konti nalang idadagdag nya. Nakaka turn off ito, especially for guys.

[mslcgrey]

Hubby and i have also been married for 2 years. Actually starting this year lang din namin pinagsama yung money namin. Before toka-toka lang din. Like akin ang grocery and food while sa kanya lahat ng bills like electric, water, and payment sa house. Though last year nag-iipon kami for our supposed to be church wedding which unfortunately did not push through. 
Right now, kapag sweldo he would withdraw the money then give it to me coz im in charge of budgeting and paying all the bills. I would just give him a weekly allowance for transportation and snacks if he want to. Nagbabaon kami pareho ng lunch sa work. Though meron syang extra allowance from work na kanya lang and hindi na niya nireremit sa akin but lately instead na pang-starbucks nya yun, he would deposit it sa investment namin.
I guess yun din ang ginagamit nya when he and his officemates decided to dine out.
Two weeks ago he even surprised me with a gift. Tinipid nya daw from his allowance.
He earns more than i do. But kapag dumadating yung extra load pay ko from work, that is what we use for shopping.
As for savings, right now may emergency fund kami na magiging giving birth fund na kasi i'm pregnant. We also have a car fund for the car we plan to buy before the year ends and  lastly a travel fund. May investment din which is our retirement fund naman.

[momlory]

We always fought about money matters with h2b. Kahit na magset ng budget and planning. Hindi nasusunod. Hindi nakakacomply si h2b. Ang nangyayari ako lahat ang gumagastos sa house, food etc.

Salary niya napupunta sa family niya. Usapan portion of his salary should go to his family not all. And i think is very unfair. Napapagod na rin ako mag remind ng remind sa kanya about sa gastusin. Nagiging Nagger ako at nagiging bingi na siya. We need counselling help really

[shegie_285]

mommyysa I dont think it has to be a confrontation, i think you could ask your hubby to look at your expenses and income especially now na sabi mo mag-aaral na si baby and gusto nyo bumukod.   Sa amin ni hubby, pooled ang salary namin. Then we listed out all the gastos for a month - grocery, amortisation ng bahay, kuryente, phone bills, pang-date namin dalawa, pang-gimik namin with friends.  (Now ang list of expenses don't expect hubby to do this, ikaw ang maglista dahil naku hindi nila alam kung magkano ang ibu-budget, and if your hubby questions the amount you put, don't be annoyed agad, just explain nagtatanong lang sila).Then we agreed our savings per month.  Pag sweldo namin, the agreed amount ng savings diretso sa savings accounts, what's left is our pang-gastos every month. We also looked din pala for our annual expenses like insurance, car registration, car maintainance, etc then we divided it by 12 so a portion of our sweldo din pala goes to another account for these expenses para pag dating ng bayaran hindi masakit sa bulsa. In your case you could add the tuition fee of your kid para may ipon na agad. The money for our monthly pang-gastos that goes to our joint account, we don't question each other's expenses because we don't splurge and we're both conscious kung magkano ang pera namin for the month (our statements are available online so alam namin balance at a particular day). Actually this set up natuto akong maging masinop sa pera dahil si hubby masinop.  If I want to buy something expensive,  I talk to him first. kung minsan out with friends at napalaki ang gastos, we say that to each other too para tipid tipid next time. I mentioned na din sa thread na ito before, we don't have personal savings, nor personal allowance. For our gifts, we use our credit card to buy gifts and ang pambayad sa credit card galing sa joint account.

We also talk about our goals, what we want, a new house, travels, etc.  I think it is better to have those talks too. How do we start? I just blurt out what I want like I want a new car, etc. Then hubby will say na  we don't need a car, we should save for a house blah blah blah and he'll remind me na needs vs wants. you know naman your hubby so alam mo kung pano sisimulan. There was a forum kasi where I read naman na the hubby felt pressured when the wife talked about her goals dahil simple lang ang gusto ng hubby then the wife ang laki ng goals. but I guess important na alam nyo ang goals ng isa't-isa so you could agree on the same goals. not always compromise dahil minsan you need to achieve what you want so the other person should learn how to support.

momlory Naku its hard talaga kapag suporta sa pamilya ang usapan. I agree with you not all his salary should go to his family. Kaso ang hirap kapag need talaga ng family. Maybe set aside na savings and put it in an account na hindi pwedeng I-withdraw agad-agad. Siguro kahit one month or two months na hindi pwede I-withdraw. Then kung ikaw gumagastos sa house you could say wala ka na din money for the house but nasa savings nyo. I think unless panggamot ang pera then need talaga extra. Kung daily needs then his family should also budget kung magkano lang ang dapat na ibigay sa kanila.  Hope maintindihan ni hubby mo.

[KimSuni]

money set-up namin ni hubby since bf/gf palang kami ATM nya nasa akin, then since army kasi sya may allowance sila na on cash binibigay..if incase kulangin sya sinasabi nya lang sa akin and honest naman sya when it comes to expenses...kelangan mu lang talagang kulitin ang mga lalaki kasi sometimes there are things they don't want to tell, kahit maliit lang na bagay...when it comes to family...minsan nagtatalo talaga kami dyan...for house expenses halos ako lahat since nasa akin naman kasi ATM nya...sinasabi ko lang sa kanya if may bibilhin pag ayaw nya..ok vice versa naman kami..pag hindi naman kelangan ijustify lang..good luck mga mommies...money matters and family matters(parents/relatives) yan ang pinakamahirap pag awayan..kaya ang usapan namin hindi pwedeng un ang dahilan para mag away kami..pag lumabag ka..mag sorry ka...

[ri-anne]

I am mostly stay at home during our marriage, except that time i worked for 6 months.
 ang money set-up namin that time was, buong sweldo ko went straight to our joint account. Lahat ng gastusin came from hubby's salary pa rin, even my allowance. So ang bilis lumaki ng savings namin because sweldo ko plus tira sa sweldo ni hubby.

Anyway, now (and even before) i don't get his atm. Wala ring gamit lol! Bills can be paid electronically or online. Even the house amortization and kids' school fees can be deducted directly from the account. Then savings can be transferred automatically from his payroll acct to our joint account. Now, That's the atm i'm holding. May passbook din yun. Ang natitira lang sa atm nya eh yung allowance nya.

Once a month, every sweldo, we sit together with all the bills in front of us and do computations (pub (kuryente, water), phone bills, town council dues, cc, etc) so we both know magkano total babayaran at magkano mase-save at extra pangliwaliw hehe. So everything is very transparent.

Siguro kung babalik ako sa work, ganun pa rin gagawin ko. I'll put my salary straight to our joint account and lahat expenses kay hubby pa rin.

[theshopaholicprincess]

Say both of you are working, what happens when you get married?

Do you combine your money?

Does the husband give his money to the wife?

What do you do?

Nung early months nung married na kami kanya kanya kaming assignments for our expenses. Ako bahala sa groceries, expenses sa baby namin, rent and savings. Si hubby naman bahala sa bills, utilities and house amortization namin and monthly support to his parents. During early days mas malaki ng konti salary ko kay hubby since mas maaga ako nag start sa kanya mag work. Since I got extra money, I used purchased spur of the moment things during sales. Just this year we decided to pool our money together to save up more. Since lumaki na salary ni hubby hindi na kami assignment system but we listed down everything that needs to get paid every month and yung matitira is savings for our house and savings for our baby. It works well for us. Less na rin yung hanapan kung san napunta yung salary namin. tapos we get to set aside funds kung meron kami activities or things we wanted to buy.

[ayka]

our set up:

-all major expenses (like monthly mortgage payment, tax) are being deducted from his account via direct debit
-bills (telephone, internet, electricity, gas) are being deducted monthly from my account
-we have a "joint" account under my name where we put all our savings
-I have a separate account for my personal savings 
-ako lang ang may credit card 

everything mutually agreed upon.

[annamarie88]

Gusto ko din may joint account kami pag kinasal na kami pero hindi pa namin pinaguusapan yung set up, mukhang sya lang lahat muna gagastos, malaki naman sweldo nya, hindi nya mapapansin yung sakin hehe

Pero nabanggit ko pala dati akin eh grocery (dahil mahilig ako maggrocery hehe) pero naka supplementary na ako sa platinum cc nya

Pagusapan siguro namin next year