I'm not married (yet
) but the topic of financial setups after getting hitched isn't new to me, I have two close relatives who confide to me about their tumultuous relationships because of money.
Medyo mahaba, but please bear with me
Case1: Jenny is a stay at home mom who live with her in-laws. Work ni hubby niya? Waiter at a Videoke Bar. The husbands hands over all of his earnings to Jenny and only asks for a DAILY allowance of 50php. There are times that the hubby would ask for 20-40php pang yosi tsaka softdrinks lang pero hindi pa binibigay ni Jenny.
Granted na mahirap na ang sitwasyon, wouldn't it hurt na yung konting luho mo lang hindi mo mabili, even if you earned the money? Eventually, napansin ni wife na hindi na nanghihingi ng extra yung husband niya, until she started doing the laundry. when she took out her husband's dirty sock from his shoe.... HALA! She found 200php!
))))
Na-exercise yung abs ko kakatawa sa kwento niya. She didn't think much of it at first until she found out na yung extra earnings ng husband niya from buy-sell-customizing motor parts, hindi na binabanggit sa kanya. Despite the fact that the husband wasn't doing anything 'wrong', the financial infidelity made her rethink their financial setup.
Case2: This is from the other end of the spectrum naman. Roy is a doctor. Being the nice guy that he is.... and the panggungulit of the wife na "Sa pamilyang pilipino, babae talaga ang nag-bubudget ng pera". He agreed to this setup, all of his income goes to the wife.
Walang masama kung fair si wife, but she isn't, compulsive buyer, maluho, mahilig manggutang sa mga Co-op, credit card swiper much! She would get her hair done for 6k! Ang sweldo naman ni wife? 12k a month. Sa kanya na nga lahat ng sahod niya, she drains Roy's finances pa.
As the years went by, the relationship got colder and colder. Roy is typical goody goody boring guy kasi, total contrast with his social butterfly na wife. Since they aren't in good terms, his allowance started dwindling until it was completely gone. What's worse is that the wife has access to his salary, since they both work for the government, and the people at city hall know their relationship, they allow the wife to get Roy's salary.
Wala silang joint savings dahil sa luho ng wife, ang nakakatawa pa, minsan nagkukulang pa. Roy lectured his wife on budgeting, yung wife nagalit at sinabing "Sige! Edi ikaw mag budget!", Roy agreed to do it but the wife said NO, she was bluffing lang pala.
Umabot din sa point na na-sagad yung limit ng credit card nila and Roy ripped it in half. YES, RIPPED IT IN HALF WITH HIS BARE HANDS!
Roy finally saw the picture. Hindi siya magkandaugagang humanap ng sideline ngayon kasi wala siyang pera. He works 3 side jobs. Alam ni wife yun, and she still gets the income from those! Si Roy dinadaan na lang sa kupit, 200 dito, 300 dun, 150.... chump change, he's even happy if he gets an extra 500, and this is a MEDICAL DOCTOR!
Every time na kasama ko si Roy, he gripes endlessly. He has recently opened 2 secret savings account na hindi alam ng wife and he already has 40k savings in 4 months, all from his 'kupit' lang, imagine how good this man is at handling money.
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Mas gusto ko pa din yung setup na "toka-toka" sa expenses. Akin yung diapers and milk, sayo yung household utilities at si yaya. Tapos, just set an amount for joint savings.
Bottom line is everyone is entitled to enjoy their earnings. Don't deprive your partner if you are solely in-charge of accounting for household expenses... and be transparent. :3
