Accepting your husband's illegitimate child

[glamorosa_09]

Am I being selfish for not wanting to let the child in to our relationship? Ayoko lang kasing guluhin pa ang situation namin.

Ikaw lang ang nakakaalam nang totoong intentions/concerns mo sis, so ikaw lang ang makakasagot nyan. Kung mas mabigat yung insecurity/fear mo or mas mabigat yung concern mo sa bata, ikaw lang ang nakakaalam.

Do not make your hubby feel thwarted, so let him pursue what he desires. Magkaka-strain lang yung relationship nyo pag pinigilan mo sya, so hayaan mo sya. Besides, the final decision will come from the mother.

[mercibeaucoup]

Better tell the wife para maagapan bago pa mag eskandalo si kabit.

If i'm the wife, I won't let the husband acknowledge the kid. He has to choose between me and our kid or the other kid. Selfish na kung selfish. Wala ngang kasalanan yun kid, malas nalang nya dahil magulang nya may kasalanan. Ang kids ba namin may kasalanan? bakit dapat maapektuhan pati sila? I have to protect my kids. Sinira na nya pamilya ko by sleeping with my husband.

Kung sana ang mga illegitimate kids ay walang karapatan, wala sanang kumakabit ngayon. Ginagawa kasing meal stub ang kids.

[cristyles]

If i were the wife, i will definitely get MAD, when i say mad it's like raising hell. But later i know i can do my own justification. Yung illegitimate child walang fault sa situation to begin with. It's the husband yung at fault. Siya yung nambuntis, so dapat panagutan niya yung bata.

Anyways, for sure his wife will somehow accept it or maybe not (who knows si guy yung mas nakakakilala sa wife niya). Pero hindi natin maaalis na masasaktan ng masasaktan si wife sa nangyari. When it comes to marriage, he should be honest in the first place.

I can't blame the other woman, kasi naman ang puno't dulo naman talaga eh itong si guy. Baka yung other woman na involve kasi hindi alam na committed or ikakasal na si guy.

Kawawa yung both women na nagmahal dun kay guy.

Ang important kasal si wife at guy, siya yung may legal rights kay guy. Pero wag ipagkait sa illegitimate child yung emotional at financial needs  .

Isang IRRESPONSIBLE ang taong hindi bibigyan ng pagmamahal ang sarili niyang dugo at laman.

[mrs.trish]

^thanks sis. I appreciate your advice. Yun na nga ginagawa ko ngayon. Hindi ko kinokontra ang balak nya but I'm trying to discourage him in a subtle way like asking him if seeing his child will be good for the kid kasi baka nga maconfuse yung bata na iba ang kinikilalang ama tapos may isa pa na lilitaw. haay.... sana magbago isip ni hubby para hindi na gumulo buhay namin.

[cristyles]

^I can feel you sis. Si hubby ko, illegitimate child to begin with. Nakita ko yung pain niya noong nagkakilala kami nung College days, although kinikilala naman siya ng biological father niya as his son. Pero hindi pinaramdam ng biological father niya yung fatherly figure. Kaya ayun nagkaron ng emotional issues si hubby. Good thing is nalagpasan ni hubby lahat at pinagmamalaki na siya ng dad niya for being a good son, pinalaki kasi siya ng maayos ng mother niya .

It's a good step na si hubby mo sis is reaching to the kid. Pero i know masakit sa part mo, but still you're the wife . Dapat before siya mag-reach out sa bata eh may consent mo, if not wag siyang gagalaw ng walang consent. Mahirap rin kalaban ang regret at guilt.