kabit, kabit at puro na lang kabit (thread 3)

[cpdlc]

"Jeremy is right. Right now, an end to your threats, tears and fights is the only incentive you can give Bob to end his affair. But he is inured to all that. You both know that you cannot bear to live without him; thus he continues seeing Kabi with impunity. Hells bells, even Kabi has the gall to treat you badly because she too knows Bob is not worried you will leave him." ---- from the article above


I really can relate to the story on the link posted above...

Almost the same situation. Hubby has this office affair, threatened to leave me (because he thinks  I(?) didn't take care of him enough), now while we're having our 2nd child. If I have shortcomings as a wife, I still can't fathom why end a 10year relationship with me over a 2month-relationship and running affair with this woman instead of letting us work it out...

Saw their pics together, even have copies, their office mates tolerating this. Hurts a lot. Went to the office, confronted the girl, but hubby chose to stay with her. Talk to the girl privately, begged to leave him alone but to no avail, that was a month ago, and like I said, their relationship is now at 2months. Had the worst birthday, worst Christmas and worst new year of my 25 years of life.

Saw them 2 nights ago, walking side by side, he's even assisting the girl crossing the street. Me, who is 5months pregnant never experienced that in the last 2months. I became very mad, texted him, and the girl. Mistresses right now are have evolved like cockroaches, they are even the one who has the gall to call you names.

1st month or so, I thought I wouldn't make it. It hurts bad, I'm very emotional and hormonal. Lately, with the help of my friends, I'm slowly gaining my life back. I'm now focusing on my eldest and this child I'm carrying.

I still love him, so much it hurts. But I just can't take this anymore. I've asked him to move out. If we're still gonna end up together, I'll be happy, if not, I want my life back.

But before that, I just really can't be miserable right now while they're celebrating V-day. Got their pictures together. I just really want to trash this girl. Hahaha. She thought way ahead though, she knew what I was planning to do so she deactivated her fb. She didn't know I know her other fb account. Talk about my stalking powers

[vain_kixie]

Are they living together already? If they are, file a case of concubinage against them.

[althea_ge]

sis cpdlc , I'm sorry to hear that..I feel for you .  How this man could do this to you knowing that you are pregnant.. Be strong and always pray...just keep all the pics and evidences you may have..after you deliver your child sue him and is very much ready, sue him or take him out of your life. But now, focus on your expected child and don't stressed out much cause it's not good for both of you. I know it's easy to say this and hard to do it, but you have to for your own good. Just always pray 

[justin3]

^^^CPDLC - ano kaya kung pasabugin mo ang mga bungo nila?
alam mo, kahit na may COMELEC gun ban ngayon, at ma-cover man ng media, malamang absuelto ka. being 5 months pregnant? sigurado, buong Pilipinas mag-simpatya pa sa yo... pasok pa ata yan sa battered wife syndrome? ewan.

seriously... di kaya sobrang goody-goody wifey ka lang?
kaya mo ba buhayin ang kids mong mag-isa? if so, concoct your REVENGE.
ba't di mo ireklamo sa HR ng company nila para masisante silang dalawa? siguro naman walang company na mag-tolerate ng mga immoral sa company nila. bad sa bisnis yan eh. kung deadmahin ka, balik ka dito at pasisikatin natin ang company na yan.
tingnan natin kung makapag-check-in pa sila sa motmot kung pareho silang walang datung.
ewan ko kung ano kakainin nila pag wala na silang work. di naman sila mabubusog kung puro hotdog at monay lang ang kakainin nila.
eventually, maghihiwalay rin yon.

anoooooo?! you STILL LOVE him?! WTF! (Welcome To Femalenetwork) HEH! tumigil ka nga.
ano ba, pinikot mo sya at patay na patay ka pa rin sa k*%#g na yan? aba sis, taraaantado to the Nth level yang asawa mo. di gawain ng tunay na lalaki yang ginawa nya sa yo.kung naging bayaw ko yan, malamang matagal nang pinaglamayan yan.
reading your post... hindi ako naawa sa yo, sadyang MARTYR ka na malamang eh. pero naman, sa anak nyo at sa bata dyan sa sinapupunan mo. ano ba?

tigilan mo nga yang pag stalk kay girl sa FB kung hanggang stalking lang kaya mong gawin, dagdag sama lang ng loob lang makuha mo dyan. gusto mo, ibigay mo sa akin pix nila at family pix nyo (with you and your kid faces covered) at pasisikatin ko sila.
 
teka muna, TOTOO ba tong kwento mo sis? barely a week ka pa lang kasi sa GT (o new account mo to?) at 2nd post mo pa lang (edited pa). dami kasing pekeng kwento dito eh.

[february24]

kakatuwa talaga ito si justin3 brutal, pero gusto ko yan kaya lang wala akong powers o di kaya ng powers ko gawin ang mga bagay na yan.... sa utak ko ilang beses ko na pinasabog bungo nga mga nanakit sa akin.... hay naku justin sana ganun kadali....

[cpdlc]

^^ hehe. I can't use my other GT account sis. It's our daughter's name.

Siguro that's just how I am. Martir. Pero I've realized walang mangyayari. Kahit gaano ko siya kamahal, it's his nature. I just can't do silly things now dahil nga sa situation ko. Priority ko itong mga bata. I only have pictures as proof, magkaakbay lang. Pero mostly sa verbal confrontation namin ko nalaman ang buong kwento.

Sa BPO kasi sis, even if they have grave moral clause sa contract, walang mangyayari. They wouldn't step in. I know kasi, BPO rin ako. Mategi man sila, madali makahanap ng lilipatang Call center.

[mayumiyumei27]

Wow Sis Gab54 Wala akong masabi sa post mo. You really did your best. I'll take note of the lessons you posted.

[clouds_1028]

^Nice post sis! 

[ms_maldita]

^^^ really nice sis 

[mayumiyumei27]

Ma'am Bibibuy. Have faith, kaya mo 'yan. Prayer helps. And try entertaining yourself para hindi ka masyadong mag-isip. It's nice to know na you and your hubby are trying to fix things. It can't be helped that you'd offer sacrifices because you loved him. I understand 'coz I've been there too.

If things can work out why not give it a try? Look at Gab54, I think what she did is amazing. Instead of living on torment of the terrible memories, she focused on taking care of herself again for her growth (while mending her wounds) while she tries to fix their relationship. But while doing this, please make sure that you settle a deadline, if he tries to do it again, then quit (it's up to you until when ka willing magtiis) but please try to think that it's not the end of the world. It might feel that way but it won't. I have a lot of single friends with their kids, and they managed moving on. Kung kaya nila, kaya mo rin. Bilib ako sa kanila 'coz they can juggle work, kids, and yes "Lovelife".

Hindi imposibleng magka-lovelife muli kahit may anak ka na. You can still find true love despite the things you've been through.

Kung right now, hindi nagwork out ang relatioship mo, baka hindi mo pa talaga natatagpuan ang taong nakatakda sayo. Back when I was in your shoes, when I was lonely, I've started thinking that "Hell yeah, my prince charming is on his way, na-delay lang ng konti.". tee hee!...

Anyway, wala bang guys na nagpopost dito that they have been cheated on? Saka what exactly are their thoughts about infidelity? What are the common causes? I have an Idea, pero I want to hear their real point of view on things... 

[bibibuy]

@mayumiyumei27 thanks sis. right now, lagi ako praning. kung sino katext niya or sino kasama niya pag hindi kami kasama. though he already resigned sa work kasi nga office mate niya yung babae hindi ko parin mapigilan mag isip. what if nag resign lang siya pero tuloy parin relationship nila. ang hirap at ang sakit ng ganitong pakiramdam. though naka move on na ako sa video, hindi ko parin maiwasan.  after what happened, wala parin kami body contact or anything. we talk pero hanggang usap lang. sabi nya naiilang parin daw siya at nahihiya sa ginawa niya kaya kahit sexy time wala. is that normal? totoo kaya yun? hindi ba dapat gawin yun kung gusto niyo magkabalikan at maibalik yung spark? i tried ulit initiating pero tinanggihan parin nya ako. feeling ko im putting too much effort to fix this, tapos siya sabi niya he's taking one step at a time, bakit siya pa? kaya siguro ganito yung pakiramdam ko kasi wala na yung feeling secure. hindi ko maramdaman na after everything that had happened hindi man lang siya umeffort. naglalambing siya pero pag may kelangan lang siya. hindi tulad noon na lagi sya malambing. gusto ko iconsider na naffrustrate siya sa mga nngyayari kasi wala na siya trabaho at nalubog na kami sa utang dahil lang sa babae na yun. tapos yun nga ako nalang nasweldo dahil resign na sya sa work. hindi ko din makita effort nya na gusto nya mag apply ulit. sa ngayon, wala akong assurance na ako lang at mahal niya ako. we tried to talk and sabi naman niya na nagsisi na siya, pero hindi ko makita. gusto kong intindihin na may pinag dadaanan din siya. pero pano yung nararamdaman ko? hanggang kelan ako mag aantay sakanya na maging maayos na kami tuluyan?

[mayumiyumei27]

I think for that you have to set a limit. Hanggang kelan ka maghihintay?

And It's hard to determine what I guy really has in mind. And you can't really trust him now dahil nagloko s'ya sa 'yo, and yes, hindi mo maalis na maisip 'yung mga ginawa n'yang pagkakamali.

Since he's giving you this chance to fix everything with you, why not give it a try? Little by little? But please note that once you decided to start over, talagang start over yan, no turning back, and dapat willing ka palampasin at wag isumbat sa kanya ang mga pangyayari -- unless he does something to break your trust once again (decide how many chances can you give? you are willing to give?)

I couldn't give an exact advise that I think could help you, since general details lang about your hubby ang nakuha ko dito online. But since he lost his work, why not prove to him that your still the best woman he ever had? Help him find a new job, encourage him, try to follow Gab54's steps on how she tried to fix everything; so at least in the end, when things really didn't work out, masasabi mo, you did your best to save the relationship -- no regrets. D'yan na lalabas na s'ya na talaga may problema kaya hindi nagwork out.

Tyaga lang sis mlalampasan mo rin 'yan. All sissies are here willing to help you get through this.

[smoothie]

I think your husband is going thru the separation anxiety stage. Since nabisto na siya, he decided to end the relationship with the girl abruptly.
So parang nasa mourning stage siya, kasi hindi na rin niya makikita yung girl.

Suggestion ko, just be there for him but not to the point of smothering him.

But like sister mayumiyumei27 said, magbigay karin ng deadline. Then I guess when he's over that stage, that's the time na
you both patch things up. Its going to be hard. Lalo na sa iyo, mahirap ang hindi magsumbat.
But once you both get thru this I think the relationship will be stronger.

[bibibuy]

feeling ko nga din sis smoothie, nalungkot siya tapos lagi mainit ulo sakin. kaya siguro ganun din siya na hindi niya kaya paghihiwalay nila. so ibig sabihin nun minahal nya talaga yung kabit na yun? mas masaya siya doon?

[break_free]

Obviously sis bibi na minahal at talagang attracted siya dun kay kabit, at malungkot siya talaga dahil hiwalay na sila at nabuking pa. So doble doble... Di naman siya makikipag sex doon ng ilang beses kng hindi niya somewhat love at kundi rin niya like the girl di ba. Basta focus ka sa sarili mo sis. Hayaan mo siya sa mourning stage, hayaan mong kusa siyang magbago. Wag mo pilitin mag sexy time kayo, if you want make yourself attractive again pasexy and all, if you want lang naman. Give it sometime pa if you like. Sana lang din manumbalik yung pagka attract niya sa iyo para magka spark ulit. Goodluck sis kaya mo yan!

[bibibuy]

ang sakit! naalala ko nanaman 

[cpdlc]

ok lang yan sis. Try to focus on other things. ganyan din ako last 2months. it's hard to be selfish and think of only myself lalo nga at buntis ako ngayon, me anak din kami panganay.

[smoothie]

bibibuy: This is a question that you will never be able to find out kung ano talaga naramdaman niya sa babae.
Yung nangyari sa akin, hubby's reason was that it was just sex. Pero siyempre may attachment na nangyari.
I think your hubby does not really love the girl but he was attached/infatuated etc. One reason why he's also being like that is because
ngayon lang din niya na-realize yung impact ng ginawa niya.

And malamang nung time na sila ng girl nasa "honeymoon" stage sila. kaya feeling niya sobrang inlove siya sa babae.

[bibibuy]

yan kinakatakot ko. what if hindi naman talaga sila nghiwalay.mukha ako tangang naniniwala sakanila.sa totoo lang,hindi ko na alam san ilulugar sarili ko. maayos nya ko kausapin pag may kelangan sya.pero laging cold treatment.lage nakatalikod sakin pag natutulog,walang hawak sa kamay at halik kapag nagkikita kami.parang bumalik lang sya para sa anak namin hindi para maayos namin.or am i just expecting to much from him.

[february24]

bibibuy be vigilant lagi kasi ganyan din nangyari sa akin, nagtiwala ako na tinapos na nila the discovery of their affair... buong akala ko wala na then after 15 months since the discovery nalaman ko na hindi pala sila naghiwalay, ang sakit sobrang sakit...  ang claim ng husband ko tinapos nya daw after ko nalaman pero itong si kabit sabi hindi daw, in-upload ni kabit mga love letters at card ng husband ko kaya napatunayan kong napakalaking sinungaling ng asawa ko para i-convince ako na tinapos na nya nung 2011, eh kitang-kita ang date ng mga letters eh, sabi pa mag-iingat nalang daw sila sa mga cp nila, juice ko! sani ni kabit sep 2012 lang sila naghiwalay, husband ko bukong-buko na ayaw talaga umamin, pagtinanong ko kung kelan talaga sila naghiwalay, ako pa ang pinapagalitan ang kulit ko daw...