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Author Topic: maselan na SIL  (Read 3906 times)

yang

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maselan na SIL
« on: August 11, 2012, 10:46:14 am »
hello! from my previous post about my bro's gf. o well they got married last dec 2011. and now i have my pamangkin na. o diba do the math why all of a sudden nagpakasal sila.  ako unang na- announce ang engagement pero sila ang unang ikinasal. hahaahah. anyway, eto ang problema, dati naman hindi siya maarte pero after she given birth hindi nanamin kinakaya ang pagiging maselan nya sa baby which is wala na sa ayos ganito ha.

1. bawal picturan ang baby..
2. kelangan naka mask at bagong damit kapag kakargahin yun baby
3. kelangan sa a/c room lang kasi daw ma exposed ang anak nya. actually, i first noticed this sa hospital kasi ayaw nya ipa-room in yun baby parang overated na yun word na exposed. gusto ko nga tanungin what does she meant by it?
4. ayaw nya mag try mag pa breast feed. ipapa-pump daw nya bago ipalatch yun bata? huh?!
5. ayaw mag pa dalaw.
6. ayaw ng isdang may sabaw, parang buhay daw kasi.. before naman kumakain siya with us sinigang na ulo ng maya maya or pesang bangus.
7. ayaw ng malunggay may lead daw.

my brother came in yesterday and greeted me on my birthday. he looked exhausted sabi ko tatay kana. then he opened up, sabi ko pagpasensyahan nya nalang yun asawa nya pagbigyan nya nalang at bagong panganak yun. sabi nun kapatid ko kakaiba daw wala sa ayos.

gusto ko lang malaman kasi im not yet a mom. hindi pa ko nanganak kaya hindi ko alam ang mga bits and pieces ng ganito. lilipas din kaya ito? o sadyang papunta siya sa Post partum blue? panong approach ba dapat ang gagawin? ok lang kaya magtanong?

we are blessed na kahit sa kasagsagan ng habagat ay normal syang nakapanganak at both mom and baby are doing well.

k_heart

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Re: maselan na SIL
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2012, 12:20:57 am »
Baka nga sis may post-partum blues ang sister in law mo. ano ba ugali nya before sya nanganak?

aquacharly

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Re: maselan na SIL
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2012, 04:33:07 am »
Well, sa no.1 lang ako not agree.  Really, call us OC or whatever -- but all that is from years of observing others & their newborns.

1.  No picture taking:  well, maybe the picture takers create too much fuss/noise as to disturb the baby's sleep.  That's all babies do: sleep, the first month.   

2.  Well, I do not like people off the street or arriving from a day's work to just pick up the baby.  I tell hubby to go wash his hands and change his clothes - when he arrives - before picking up the baby. He must put a baby blanket on his shoulder too.  :)
It is most probably not you, but someone  else -- who has a chronic cough? Dirty fingernails? Does not wash hands first?  -- she is wary of. So parang walang masingle out --  may rules for all. 

I have a sister who installed a glass door to her baby's room. Pag dumalaw mga tao - the yaya wearing a mask will stand to show you the baby, through that glass door -- that's  it. hehe.  Kasi we have nieces/nephews na dinadala kahit may colds to visit.  Or, we have oldies with chronic smokers' c, eh baka iba na, Lols, mga  ganon.   She said better they say über arte sya kesa selective snooty.

I don't have my midwife yaya wear masks.  But when she brings out the baby kasi relatives visit at home, I make a show of using alcohol on my hands, putting not just a diaper -- but a baby blanket on my shoulder & arm & getting the baby myself. Asa body language ko na I am not letting go of the baby -- come look if you like.  (So if my mom/aunt/sister wants to hold the baby  -- Aba go  wash your hands/alcohol and  use the baby blanket.) That way, if sa tingin ko may colds or whatever hygiene issue -- I don't let go of my baby.

3.  I also don't room in.  there's always something: season of colds/flu, sore eyes, whatever.  Pag newborn, IMO, very susceptible pa.   
A cousin rooms in her baby, but no visitors allowed into her suite.   Susko..  She puts out a guest book for Visitors to sign outside her room.

4.  Breast feeding is a very personal thing.  It is ok to give her advice, in a sharing tone -- not a this-is-the-way-it-should-be-done tone.  Take it or leave it, do not be offended if she ignores your advice & good intentions -- it's her boobs and her baby.

5.  Ako -- ayaw ko din padalaw.  My rest gets disturbed -- some overstay. Meron  dyan coughs, sniffles -- Hindi mo makuhang palabasin --  so better get the word out: please, no visitors. :).

6.  Well, I don't like fish in sabaw too.  Yeah, I eat once in awhile, so as not to offend  hubby who likes me to taste his favorite fish dishes (but in my mind:ugh ugh yuk.  Lols).    After giving birth, there are stuff I do not want to eat.  If your finances and household set up can conveniently accommodate your food  preferences, go ahead. Pero, if wala naman cook, and istorbo to have a different menu just for you --Aba, mag food delivery ka or fix your food yourself.  But, well -- pagbigan  ang new mother -- this time is a rare chance for her to get a little spoiling, intindihin na lang.

7.  Di hwag, she is an adult -- let her decide. 

Don't get pissed - but, I don't think she is maarte.
If before ok ok lang whatever, well that may be a conscious effort to adjust to her bf/hubby & his family.
Now, she is a mom -- you will understand her better when you get your own baby.  But the bottom line is --  mothers do what they deem to be good for their babies. Most do so.  She is just being protective.   

Giving birth is tiring. It takes time to recover -- but the baby is there, nakakapagod.  So, well what's the harm in being more understanding, more patient?   Instead of your brother griping, he should appreciate it that  she is  taking care of their baby, and he should accept that  it is tiring/demanding & so mahirap. You gave him good  advice, ang galing. 

It's not the blues, IMO -- just her preferences. Let her be.
Lilipas? Her being protective? No. But it will transform into other ways.
Food preferences? Haynako, kaming mga mothers -- soo much to do.  We do not always insist.  (But I would rather go a little hungry than eat paksiw, lols..so my cook will make sure there's meat for me)







yang

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Re: maselan na SIL
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2012, 06:57:04 am »
thank you sis K_heart and Aquacharly..  thanks for your inputs. 
update: we all let her be.

k_heart

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Re: maselan na SIL
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2012, 10:53:02 am »
^at siguro sis, pumangit yung sis in law pagka panganak kaya ayaw padalaw. In fairness, nakakapanget manganak. It takes time or at leat weeks to recover from birth. He! He! He !
Agree, kanya kanyang preferences. Ako on my part, after giving birth to all my kiddoes, i'm happy to received visitors. Although bangenge ako for a couPle of days, cs kasi ako.

Actually mas marami akong nadevelop na ayaw habang buntis pero nadala ko even after i gave birth. Like the lotions frOm the body shop or the D & G light blue perfume. Super hate them nung preggy ako and even now na 6 years old na my bunso, di ko na nagustuhan uli.

Lilipas din kaartehan  ng sil mo. At Pag di lumipas, well baka maarte lang talaga. He! He! Good luck sis And enjoy the  new baby in your family. Masaya yan! : )

design21

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Re: maselan na SIL
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2012, 01:34:00 pm »
#4) ayaw magpabreastfeed latch muna- kung cs ka at first time mom feeling mo kasi bugbog pa katawan mo some doctors would suggest magpump muna bago magtry ibreastfeed.

#5) Kung nahirapan ka talaga manganak at first mo ayaw mo talaga magpadalaw lalo na if nahirapan ka sa pregnancy mo. let her be at siya naman ang nanganak.

6) kahit buntis ka ayaw mo ng isda what more pag nanganak ka malangsa kasi yun hindi advisable kasi may wound ka fresh pa mahihirapan ka makarecover

Mararanasan mo rin yan pagturn mo na. Nung nanganak sister in law ko sa eldest pamangkin ko feeling ko maarte din siya pero nung ako na mas malala pa ata lalo na it took me years and super delicate pregnancy

Banff

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Re: maselan na SIL
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2012, 03:04:28 pm »
Joining....

Hello sis yang, normal lang yun SIL mo as a first time mom. Sis Aquarly explained it very well.

Yun no pictures, for me, ayoko ma flash yun mata ng newborn. Sensitive pa kasi mata nila. But pag no flash ok lang.

Mask is a must! Newborn yan. And yun mga visitors, you dont know kung san sila galing. Ako dapat may sapin pa over yayas uniform before carrying baby.

No room in, kasi may mga ubo sipon and whatever germs ang mga visitors. And if you tell the visitor not to touch the baby maiinsulto sila. So pag ganon sa nursery nalang ang baby. Newborn ko ni room in ko and ang daming visitors. Meron pang may cough and colds! ( for me thats so inconsiderate visiting a newborn tapos may ubo ka pala... Anyways)  that very night nag ka sipon si baby! 2days old ha! Nakakaawa tingnan! D cya makahinga n nahihirapan. Iyak ng iyak. Babies cannot tell u pa kung saan masakit. Kung puede lang sa akin nalang sakit nya. Sobra akong napikon sa visitor

No visitors- even if walang sakit- i just gave birth. Ayoko mag entertain. Masakit ang wounds ko. Nag aalaga ako ng newborn, pagod na pagod- exhausted ang new mom. The last thing i wana do is entertain. I need to recover n sleep!! And wala kaming tulog kasi every 2 hours kami nag papakain sa baby 24/7 . Yes. Every 2 hours. Kaya pasensya na pag mataray and masungit .

Im pregnant with my 2nd now and the first thing i told my hubby is. NO VISITORS! Bahala na if bastos pero mahirap na if magkasakit ang newborn.

Breastfeeding- its a very personal decision. Even if ayaw nya mag BF.... No one should comment. Its her body. ( btw im pro bf ). MahirP n masakit minsan if mali latch ni baby so some moms opt to pump. And mahirap din mag pump ha. Kakapagod din. Its still breastmilk and ok din ang pumping sis.  :)

Ayaw ng fish... Hehe preference yan eh. Me i loved it. But like when now im preggy i cannot stand it. I throw up! Same w malunggay. Preference nya. Tho you can tell her it increases milk supply.

Hope this helps.

ayami

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Re: maselan na SIL
« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2012, 01:23:37 pm »
Naloka ako dito. Comparing to my experience, OA ang tingin ko sa karamihan ng nabanggit mo. I gave birh two years ago, room in kagad, latch kagad kahit walang breastmilk pa, normal as usual and with my baby's photos flooding na day 1 pa lang. 3 hours after I gave birth normally sa The Medical City I took my baby from the Nursery na and a few hours later nagdatingan na mga inlaws ko. Kaniya kaniyang carry and photo ops I wasn't scared naman. My baby is now 2 years old perfectly healthy got colds pero he was more than one year na when it happened. Visitation sa house namin after I gave birth everyday meron din for the first week. I went home with my child after 2 days in the hospital. Alcohol thingy lang siguro [textspeak!] protocol na finollow namin. Meron dun sa may nursery pagpasok.

sistah!

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Re: maselan na SIL
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2012, 03:15:14 pm »
things may change after a while :)

ako ba ang sister in law mo? LOL! reading your post, naalala ko ang sarili ko. hard to believe only 7 months has passed since i gave birth. ganyan din ako dati. ayaw ko picturan ang baby kasi baka magising, ayoko pahawak sa ibang tao. tha baby was roomed in and attached permanently to me for the first 2 months but i really didn't want visitors. ang husband ko lang ang makulit at invite ng invite ng lahat ng kamag-anak nya to see us. asar na asar ako. one time, i actually yelled at my father in law because he came inside our room and i was breastfeeding so i yelled na no people allowed, im breastfeeding. it really wasn't an attack against him. i was just being sensitive about my situation. giving birth makes you feel so raw and so open so being crazy about certain things is normal. in my case, it passed after a couple of times. i was also very picky about food after i gave birth. some of those preferences changed, some are still like that. let her be. give her some time :)

 

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