on being a good wife

[kaiz]

pano ba masasabing good wife ang isang wife? what are the things na ginagawa nyo as a wife para masabing good wife kayo?

i've been faithful to my husband. is it enough? i sometimes cook for him. is it enough?

how about you sisses?

[maman]

^ Sis para sa akin, ang good wife doesn't mean just being faithful and giving service to your husband. It also means you respect him and truly accept him for who he is. May mga kilala kasi ako na mapagsilbi nga sa asawa and very devoted pero would humiliate and embarrass their husbands in parties or gatherings. If there's respect and acceptance, I don't think they'll even consider doing that to their partners di ba. I don't consider those who do that to be good wives.

[princessrio]

dapat siguro lalake sumasagot nito. iba iba kasi ang definition ng good wife sa mga lalake. sometimes, a wife will give her all but still would not be good enough for the husband.

i asked my husband once kung ano sa kanya ang good wife. ang sagot lang nya eh "ikaw." hindi ko alam kung anong ginagawa ko to be a good wife. i don't cook. i don't wash the clothes. all i know is that i show him love and respect, take good care of our son, maintain a good relationship with his family.

[justin3]

good wife? ang daming parameters nun ah. yung good sa iba, baka hindi naman applicable sa yo.
good in bed ka nga, good in kitchen, good in the sala, the garage or in the attic, pero pag dating sa mga bata burara ka... sauce! baka maumbag ka lang.

isa pa, walang ibang makapagsabi na GOOD spouse ka except your spouse alone. not even the kids.
dito sa GT, maraming kwento dito na kung tingnan mo living hell talaga, but nandyan pa rin. magkasama pa rin. meron namang, tingin mo napaka-perfect na ng spouse/partner, tapos mabasa mo na lang ang thread na naghiwalay na.

i've never been married but i could relate based on my personal observations sa parents ko, grandparents, aunts and uncles. LAHAT blissful marriages yon hanggang sa nauna na lang ang isa.

for a hubby or a wifey to be GOOD, you need an open, HONEST communication in the first place. para que at nagsama at nagpakasal pa kayo kung hindi pala kayo mag/nag-uusap? ano yon, sex lang o kayamanan foundation ng marriage nyo?
why don't you ask your hubbies yourselves? wag yung general question naman. be specific.
gawin kung kayang gawin. wag ipilit kung hindi talaga pwede. pag-usapan.

kung dati gusto nya nagso-somersault ka, ngayong mahina na ang tuhod mo at pag tumbling na lang ang kaya mong gawin... pag-usapan! mag-usap kayo. wag kayong mag-bulagaan, maghulaan, mag sorpresahan.

pag narating nyo ang 50th wedding anniversary nyo, sa tingin nyo active pa ang sex life nyo? makapagmasahe ka pa sa kanya? makapagluto? makapag-malling? mawala na lahat yon. but at the end of the day, habang inaantay nyo na lang na tawagin na kayo ni Lord, you'll find yourselves talking to each other. reminiscing the good old days.
eh, kung sa ngayon pa lang wala kayong open and honest communication sa isa't-isa, baka di nga kayo abutin ng 5yrs.

marami dito sa GT, di nga inaabot ng 3yrs eh. 

lastly, to be a good spouse, don't forget to be a good Christian or a good Muslim, or a good Jew, or kung anong relihiyong kaanib ka man. dapat ganun rin ang spouse mo, kahit na magkaiba pa ang paniniwala nyo.

have you seen the Pacman lately sa mga news? una, napapangiwi ako when he talks about God. leche! Bible ambassador daw? haneeeepz! kung anong pakulo na naman kaya yon. but hey! even the people around him could attest. dati after traning magka-casino na (at mambabae) sya, but now he spends it sa mga prayer churva eklavu kasama si Dyengkee.

so, you want to be a good wife?... don't forget to be good to your God as well.  Mwaaaah!

[MsClaire]

hi all, bago pa lang ako sa pagiging wife..kakasal ko lang last december.  pero sa pagkakaalam ko being a good wife.. yun pagaasikaso mo sa asawa mo, hnd obligasyon yun, dahil sa mahal mo asawa mo, aasikasuhin mo sya dba.. logically..
sabi nila pasakop ka sa asawa mo once na ikinasal ka na. so sa bawat hakbang nagagawin is klngan natin silang iconsider first. thats my point of view..

[i_v_y]

i think a good wife is someone who respects and submits to her husband. it is not written in the scripture for nothing.

i suggest you read the secrets to fascinating womanhood and it will give you an idea.

a christian male friend told me to be

1. a hot lover
2. a prostitute for your husband
3. an excellent listener

be the aggressive tiger who hunts for prey and let the lion sleep..

[ecnarfoj]

For me, para matawag ko ang sarili ko na good wife, kailangan alam ko kung ano yung basis ng asawa ko sa gusto niyang asawa.

Siya kasi yung makapagsasabi nun eh. Kapag hindi ko binase sa kanya, parang self-proclaimed lang. So I need to know kung ano ang good wife sa kanya and kung kaya kong tapatan yun, then good wife ako.

[pinkpotato]

for Christian women and wife, i think this is the best and ideal description of a perfect wife

Proverbs 31:10-31
The Perfect Wife

10   How hard it is to find the perfect wife.
    She is worth far more than jewels.   -- mamahalin
11 Her husband depends on her.
    He will never be poor.  --- knows how to save and budget
12 She does good for her husband all her life.
    She never causes him trouble.   --- maybe someone na di mahilig sa gulo
13 She is always gathering wool and flax [c]
    and enjoys making things with her hands. --- masipag
14 She is like a ship from a faraway place.
    She brings home food from everywhere. --- masipag
15 She wakes up early in the morning,
    cooks food for her family, and gives the servants their share.
16 She looks at land and buys it.
    She uses the money she has earned and plants a vineyard. -- magaling humawak ng pera
17 She works very hard.
    She is strong and able to do all her work.
18 She works late into the night
    to make sure her business earns a profit.
19 She makes her own thread
    and weaves her own cloth.
20 She always gives to the poor
    and helps those who need it.   -- matulungin. may puso sa ibang tao
21 She does not worry about her family when it snows.
    She has given them all good, warm clothes.  -- ready sa kahit anong season, family is well protected
22 She makes sheets and spreads for the beds,
    and she wears clothes of fine linen.   --- she and her family is not deprived of good stuff
23 Her husband is a respected member of the city council,
    where he meets with the other leaders.
24 She makes clothes and belts
    and sells them to the merchants.
25 She is a strong person, [d] and people respect her.  --- respected ng ibang tao
    She looks to the future with confidence. -- confident
26 She speaks with wisdom
    and teaches others to be loving and kind. -- matalino but sweet
27 She oversees the care of her house.
    She is never lazy.          - never lazy
28 Her children say good things about her.
    Her husband brags about her and says,  --- your family is proud of you
29 “There are many good women,
    but you are the best.”
30 Grace and beauty can fool you,
    but a woman who respects the LORD should be praised.  --- i want this to be me.
31 Give her the reward she deserves.
    Praise her in public for what she has done.

[kaiz]

^i think yan nga ang basehan. hehe. parang ang hirap. feeling ko kasi talaga isa sa basehan ng pagiging wife is yung paggising ng maaga para ihanda na everything.. something na hirap pa ako gawin. di talaga ako makagising ng maaga.. i know kasi na may katulong naman na naka assign for that

[pinkpotato]

^ i cant wake up early too. i remember my mother. very early gumising pra buy fresh food sa market tapos prepare na breakfast.

ako naman this past few days i wish to wake up early pra mag breakfast family sa mcdo. masyadong modern! LOL

[kaiz]

^kaya mega research ako sis pano gagawin para hindi na maging matakaw sa tulog. sabi ng friend ko, matulog na lang daw ako pag dead na ako. for sure daw wala ng iistorbo sa ssleep ko. LOL.

[hedonista]

I really don't know how to put into words the makings of a good wife.

Like me, I am a full time employee, I have a 9 month old son. My mom takes care of my son. It's so hard to juggle being a wife, a mom, an employee and a daughter not to mention daughter in law pa. Kulang ang 24 hours. I always try my best to give time for each and my work is taking 12 hours 5 days a week already. On top of that kailangan pagsilbihan si hubby - his needs- everything. Kasama na ang energy na kailangan for making love. I have to bond with my son din and then chit chat with mom. Cook.

Well, I have yet to conclude what would define a good wife. Ayoko naman maging mechanical na lahat nang yan balang araw kasi task na lang sya lahat.

Respect and good communication - dapat talaga meron. And faith - whatever religion.

[glamorosa_09]

Try reading fascinating womanhood sis, a thread here entitled "Secrets of a fascinating wife." That's pretty comprehensive. When you read other marriage books, most of the time, macacategorize mo yung mababasa mo under the 10 pointers ng fascinating womanhood. May mga testimonies din sya and more importantly, Scripture based din sya.

As for waking up, you will have to develop a habit. Try mong araw arawin na gumising ng 7am and be consistent. Wala pang one month, kahit walang alarm clock magigising ka ng 7am. Kahit late ka matulog, magigising ka pa rin ng 7am. Pero syempre wag ka parating late matutulog and then baka ilang beses kang late magising, dahil maiiba ulit system ng katawan mo.

[super bratinella]

I strive hard to be a good/perfect wife for my husband, but there are still more that I need to learn, and balance in my life. I am just looking at my husband mom, less the negative traits and learning to adopt the good traits of my mom-in-law kasi super respected at mahal ni hubby ang mom niya at most of the time mga husband na ganun gusto nila wife na katulad ng mom nila only the good traits:

Madasalin
Have wisdom
Maasikaso sa family> husband at anak
Magaling magbudget ng pera
Mahinahon kausap at magsalita
Matulungin sa kapwa

[runaway_bridesmaid]

^^about paggising ng maaga, lagi ko iniisip na ang paggising ng late ay para lang sa either puyat or batugan, yun ang motivation ko, kahit wala reason para gumising ng maaga, since hindi naman ako pyat nag iisip na lang ako ng gagawin, like gawin ng maaga ang household chores, mag exercise or kahit ano basta wag lang masayang oras ko, ang pangit din kasi pag misis or mommy ka tapos tanghali ka gumising, di ko naman nilalahat pero sa family kasi dapat ang nanay or asawa na babae ang unang gumigising...


and sa pagiging good wife naman, agree ako sa post ni sis pinkpotato, since sa bible na siya galing, agree na agree ako dun!

[kaiz]

Try reading fascinating womanhood sis, a thread here entitled "Secrets of a fascinating wife." That's pretty comprehensive. When you read other marriage books, most of the time, macacategorize mo yung mababasa mo under the 10 pointers ng fascinating womanhood. May mga testimonies din sya and more importantly, Scripture based din sya.

As for waking up, you will have to develop a habit. Try mong araw arawin na gumising ng 7am and be consistent. Wala pang one month, kahit walang alarm clock magigising ka ng 7am. Kahit late ka matulog, magigising ka pa rin ng 7am. Pero syempre wag ka parating late matutulog and then baka ilang beses kang late magising, dahil maiiba ulit system ng katawan mo.

sis i wake up talaga ng 7am pero tumatayo ako 730 na or 8am. target ko talaga mas maaga pa pero di ko magawa gawa and it frustrates me

[mrsdee]

striving to be a good wife, too.
ako naman, morning person kasi si husband and since day 1, I serve his coffee kaya ako na lang mahihiya nyan not to get up from the bed. so not me when I was still single. hehe.

OnT : true that re: respect and putting God in the center of our lives. and ito pa, really really try not to badmouth your spouse, especially to relatives and friends. minsan kasi pag may spat, ayan, ikukuwento na sa iba tapos pag nagkaayos na yung couple, naiiwan yung bad image sa utak ng napagkwentuhan, and mahirap na yun bawiin. I think pasok pa rin to sa "respect" thing. i'm guilty of this, too, until one time, my soft-spoken husband talked me through it and told me, na kung may inis, galit o selos o anuman ako sa kanya, sa kanya ko daw unang sabihin, wag sa ibang tao, para daw alam nya agad at maayos agad.

[katrinac]

thank you sis pinkpotato for sharing

ako share ko yung mga things na natutunan ko gawin since mag asawa kami ni hubby. though bago palang kami, pero eto yung mga ginagawa ko for him.

*i admire yung mga things na ginagawa nya, as in i do commend him. sabi kasi dun sa nabasa ko na libro, even yung mga simple things na ginagawa nya, lalo na kapag "manly" -- like yung pag pukpok or anything na may kinalaman sa gawaing panlalaki, kino commend ko sya kahit simple thank you lang din. napapansin ko todo smile sya pag ganon. more puri ako. hehe
* i always prepare food for him, and pagsilbihan. i wake up early (though pang gabi kami pareho, i wake up at 530 in the afternoon, kahit 4 hours lang ang tulog, mapagluto lang sya, and ma prepare ang baon
*i thank him sa mga bagay na ginagawa nya for me, and for always being nice
*i respect palagi yung decision nya, and kapag may di ako nagustuhan sa gusto nya, i try to say it in a very nice way. hindi yung pagalit.
* i kiss and always make lambing sa kanya
*mahalin ng buong buo -  at todo asikaso ako sa kanya.
yan palang yung mga bagay na ginagawa ko sa kanya, na di ko nagagawa dati sana tuloy tuloy ko ito magagawa.

[glamorosa_09]

@kaiz

Frustration ko rin yan noon sis, either lack of sleep ako or oversleeping nung college. Kaya todo research din ako about sleep.

Same pa rin sa sinabi ko sis. If 5am ang target mo, set your alarm clock to it. And then discipline yourself na sumunod. Sa una, groggy ka talaga. Pag nasanay na yung katawan mo, okay na. Challenging talaga magdevelop ng habit, conscious effort sa una. Pag nakasanayan na, gagawin na ng body mo unconsciously.

Just like with driving di ba. Conscious effort lahat sa una, pero with constant practice, kinamatagalan, kahit di ka na mag-isip, alam na ng body mo yung gagawin.

Nung may helper kami, I sleep and wake up anytime I want. Pero ngayong wala, ganun lang yung ginawa ko. 7am lang yung tinarget ko. Then adjust ko ulit ng 6am dahil sa medication ng baby ko. Ok naman. Groggy ako at first, parang lasing at lutang, but after ilang days, naadjust ko na wake time ko at nakaadjust na body ko.

And yung sleep time, sabi sa mga nabasa ko, 6 hours is enough. It's not about the quantity of sleep, but about quality. Pero ako 7-8 hours sleep target ko. Ano pa bang sinabi sa nabasa ko, pati dim light and bright light may effect din. Nakatulong din for me na pumapasok yung light ng sun sa room namin. Sabi nga ni hubby, may instant alarm clock daw sya, kasi direct sa mukha nya.

pero di ko magawa gawa and it frustrates me

sabi nga ni Ford, "whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right." 

go go go! kaya mo yan sis!

[kaiz]

^hehe. thanks sis. ma post nga yan sa fb wall ko. LOL.