Guys, do you feel bothered by your wife/gf's sexual past?

[cosmochick]

I have to ask my husband about this...but so far, I have a child from my first marriage and it was never an issue between us. He loves my baby as much as I do.

[TuscanSun]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

I understand that. However, we were friends first before we got into a commitment. I told him about my past and told him that if he's not okay with it, he shouldn't pursue a relationship with me. But still he did. And yet this happened.

if you love this guy, remind him STERNLY that you didnt hide your past from him from the start. STERN is the key word. and then assure him that its the past.

[ButHonestly]

@tawnylee

Buy him a book. Paolo Coehlo. 11 minutes.

[fidz]

if the person or the guy really loves you with all his heart, i don't think he would care about your past no matter how drastic or sad it was. fom the word itself, its the past it should now be forgotten. only the good memories should always remembered. and what matters most is what the present gives to you and the future to come.

[Girltalker2]

I have to ask my husband about this...but so far, I have a child from my first marriage and it was never an issue between us. He loves my baby as much as I do.

sis, matanong lang kita. is your current husband pinoy?  nacurious lang ako kasi you are lucky to have such an open-minded husband.

[janix athena]

^ Hi sis Girltalker2! Nice to see you here.

I asked my hubby about his insight sa topic, and I paraphrase:

"Kung alam kong may mga one-night stand ang babae, then hindi na darating sa point na mai-in love ako sa kanya, baka i-enjoy ko lang sya pansamantala pero hindi para pakasalan. Kasi kung binibigay nya sarili nya sa taong hindi nya mahal, anong panghahawakan ko na hindi nya yun gagawin habang GF o asawa ko sya? Hindi nya bina-base sa feelings eh, ano sya lalake?

Kung binigay nya sarili nya dati sa lalakeng mahal nya, maiintindihan ko yun, kaya hindi ko na isusumbat o po-problemahin kung mapangasawa ko sya. Kasi pinakasalan ko sya eh."

Hope this helps.

But I feel for tawnylee, sorry to hear about your situation sis.

Maganda ang advice ni bro Tuscansun. If your bf still can't let it go, I suggest spend some time apart muna para ma-realize nya yung worth mo sa kanya.

[Girltalker2]

the past becomes a major issue for men when they would know about it after they fell in love. it is like a stab on the back. a betrayal. thus, if you have a past, share it before  making the commitments. if you were not able to share ahead, dont share forever.

siguro if a girl has something to hide, mahirap sya i-trust ng guy. lalo pa't kung tinago sa start then later sinabi.  pero double whammy din di ba?  bakit kasi sasabihin ng girl if it can be taken against her?  just as what janix' hubby mentioned, hindi sya yun tipong babaeng sinisiryoso.  at the same time, kung hindi naman sinabi ng girl, parang mahirap naman magtago ng something na kelangan malaman ng partner mo.

[TuscanSun]

mahirap magtago, pero mas mahirap pag lumabas ang tinatago na dapat nakatago lang.

[dashgirl]

^sabi nga ni Mark Twain, after twenty years, you'll regret more the things you didn't do than what you did di ko lang sure kung applicable dito sa topic yan..

Sa situation ko ngayon naman, bothered ako kasi almost 5 yrs na kami ni bf and walang nangyayari dahil i promise to be a virgin bride. Bothered akong maghanap sya ng iba. Dahil may nakikita na akong porn videos na nilalagay nya sa cp nya.. Pero kung ako tatanungin, kung wala yung promise ko na yun, baka di na rin ako V ngayon and I don't know, maybe i would not really feel guilty about it.. Maybe I would not regret it din.

Magiging "depende sa sitwasyon" na lang talaga..

wow sis, bravo to your bf. hindi ko nga alam kung matiis ba ni bf pag walang mangyari sa amin. he's actually becoming frustrated kasi may doubts pa ako kung ibibigay ko ba yung V ko. ayoko rin kasing isumbat sa akin ng future hubby ko if hindi kami magkatuluyan. kaya nalilito pa rin ako... and it's actually better that he watches porn to release his urges rather than bed other women

back to topic, i think unfair sa girls pag sinumbatan dahil sa sexual pasts. eh, yung guys, wala bang past din? it's unfair when they expect a girl to be pure/virgin when they themselves have a lot of experiences already. pag hindi virgin, wag nag mag.expect, pwede? hehe

[FOURever]

^it's the ugly truth in our society.. Di pa rin nababago at di mababago na marami pa rin ang mga tao not only guys ang susumbatan ang babae kapag nalamang di na virgin.. Lalo na kung madami nang karanasan ang girl..

[Beng01]

Hi ladies,

For me, if ever na a girl is not a V anymore, my question is - Is she already a lesser person?
The answer is no, what if she gave up her virginity because she wants to give it up to the man she loved, but unfortunately in return, left her for other woman. If she really gave it up because she was in love, can you blame her?

The thought na iyong girl did everything in the name of love makes her next man lucky-why? because it means she is capable of giving her everything and anything.

Yes, nagkakamali tayo, but is it a ground na hindi na hindi na pwedeng mahalin ng buong puso ang isang babaeng hindi na V?
There are so many things na pwedeng i-appreciate ang guy sa isang girl.

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, I think yung topic circulates around a girl's past, regardless if she has done it with someone she loves or not.  mga ONS, flings, fw benefits included.

may point nga si sis FOUREver. Sa society natin ngayon, pag lalaki ok lang mag ONS, flings, fw benefits?  pag babae hindi?  Pag lalaki, ok lang magkaron ng 50 past partners, pag babae, hindi? 
I think that's reality eh. Unfair. But who says life is fair?

[don em]

wow sis, bravo to your bf. hindi ko nga alam kung matiis ba ni bf pag walang mangyari sa amin. he's actually becoming frustrated kasi may doubts pa ako kung ibibigay ko ba yung V ko. ayoko rin kasing isumbat sa akin ng future hubby ko if hindi kami magkatuluyan. kaya nalilito pa rin ako... and it's actually better that he watches porn to release his urges rather than bed other women

back to topic, i think unfair sa girls pag sinumbatan dahil sa sexual pasts. eh, yung guys, wala bang past din? it's unfair when they expect a girl to be pure/virgin when they themselves have a lot of experiences already. pag hindi virgin, wag nag mag.expect, pwede? hehe

basta ang masasabi ko lang girls, if you treasure your V wag basta ibigay, lalo na kung hindi kayo sure na gusto nyo na ngang ibigay. Dapat nag-agree kayo talaga at hindi napilitan lang.

[tawnylee]

Hi guys, He broke up with me a few weeks ago. However, I learned something from this.

If a guy can't accept who you are, no matter how much you've changed for him, then he's not worth it. Granted, you're not worth it for him too, but who wants to stay in that kind of relationship?

I found out that this guy had 3 sexual affairs before mine. He gave his virginity to his 3rd girlfriend, and had a one-night rebound sex with a classmate from college when his 3rd girlfriend dumped him. A year later, he had an intimate relationship with a friend for six months. I asked him, "What if I was a virgin when I met you? Di ba mahuhurt din ako?"

His reply: Alam kong unfair, but mas ok na ako yung may past kaysa ikaw yung may past.

He also told me that mas malala daw past ko kasi I slept with more people than he has.

When he decided to break up kasi di nya daw kaya, sabi ko, fine. Di ko kaya. Ang dami kong ginawa for you, pero mas matimbang pa rin sayo yung past ko....KAHIT NA MAY PAST KA DIN.

So, girls, I think that there are certain guys who get affected by their girl's pasts. But the important thing is the present, how they react to it, and if they can accept you regardless.

I know that there are some girls who preserved their virginity for their future husbands, for those of you, well and good, I salute you. But for girls like me, it doesn't make me less of a person. Kaya kong magmahal ng sobra sobra, kaya ko mag-alaga ng partner at kayang kaya kong maging loyal. And if maoverlook yun ng guys dahil sa past ko, well, problema na nila yun.

@tawnylee

Buy him a book. Paolo Coehlo. 11 minutes.

Hahahaha. Feeling ko nga din dapat ko to ibigay sa kanya

[jepoy22]

Honestly, i would really be bothered if i knew about it.. That's why i'm glad that my gf was nbsb before me (well, i was ngsb before her too)..
But in case i wasn't the first, though i would really be bothered, i would accept her whole-heartedly... afterall, she's the one i picked..she's the only one i love..

But i do want to know what had happened...so that i can treasure her much more, giving much care not to give more scars.. (oh, sorry, my gf is the strong personality-frail heart type [at least to me])

and yeah, i won't ever let her go...just what i have been doing ever since... (if we do have a sexual past, get separated, and have our own respective partners, i'd be sad to think that we'd tell our partners that we no longer are pure)

sorry for my naiveness, but that's what feel/think.

[diwata]

"Dun parin ako sa old fashioned na dapat ang mga girls eh "dalagang Pilipina".

Masyadong mahirap na ba itong ma-achieve ngayon? Tingin nyo girls?"

I hate the dalagang Pilipina. I think she's full of s*it. Loljk.

If you're asking if it's hard to remain a virgin until marriage, speaking for myself, yes. Personally, I love sex. I'm not asking anyone to love me for it; I just don't want to be made to feel guilty about it. I knew early on that I wasn't going to be a virgin bride. Not that I slept with a lot of guys but the way I see it, I'd rather make a lot of mistakes, if I can even call them that, when I'm young and single than experiment when I'm older and married. I want to be able to put all that kalokohan behind me. I had my fun. I make no apologies for that. And if the person I'm with can't take any of that, then he's not the right person for me. If he doesn't think I'm good enough for him, then he's not good enough for me. It's that simple.

Spot on sister!

[jepoy22]

Spot on sister!

Actually, the hard part here, is how to keep yourself virgin until marriage. I don't know how it would feel, but for sure for those who did, it was all worth it.

If it is already lost, there will be a change in mindset (at least from when you were virgin and protecting from being one). Since sexual activity bring such amazing and wonderful feelings, you'll surely come to love to do it with the person you love. For sure, there is a possibility of one to no longer themselves from engaging in sexual activity in the relationships that are entered in.

Now, comes the question of the OP... I don't really know what other guys think.. there is a possibility that, with what were posted in earlier post, factors including men's ego/pride would actually make the guy be bothered about it.. personally i think, if a guy has had previous sexual encounters, i don't think he has the right for his ego/pride to put it into action (getting angry etc.). (reference to tawnylee's post)

I believe that both guys and girls may be bothered about your partners' sexual past. Now that you're there, i believe the only action to move forward is to forgive and accept  each other's faults. (just like any other mistakes). (this is for those who are on the conservative type)
And for those who actually welcome those experiences, then just enjoy yourselves

just to inform you, i'm the conservative type   i had to post when i saw the joke about the dalagang Pilipina being full of ****... was hurt a bit about it. (oo na, i'm on the soft-side )
Although it's a different matter if being a dalagang Pilipina is just a facade (plastics)

[janix athena]

just to inform you, i'm the conservative type   i had to post when i saw the joke about the dalagang Pilipina being full of ****... was hurt a bit about it. (oo na, i'm on the soft-side )
Although it's a different matter if being a dalagang Pilipina is just a facade (plastics)

I was a bit hurt too by that joke because I consider myself a dalagang Pilipina. Haha. But sis mooncake said she was just kidding so wag na lang personalin.

There are times na napa-plastikan din ako s mga girls who think sex is dirty or taboo.

I acknowledge naman that sex is a wonderful thing and the ultimate physical expression of love between a man and a woman.

I guess if I may list down different scenarios by its being ideal, I would rank them as follows (from most ideal to least ideal:

1. Waiting for the wedding night before you give your virginity to your husband.
2. Waiting until you're engaged until you give your V.
3. Doing it only with your boyfriend (when you're in a committed relationship).
4. Doing it with someone you love (pero walang commitment)
5. Doing it with someone you LIKE (Friends with benefits).
6. Doing it with someone you barely know (FUBU-f*** buddies)
7. Having a one night stand with a guy you met at a bar.

So in starting this thread I wish to send a message to girls who engage in loveless sex, sana iwasan and give more value to our bodies as women kasi may effect din ito sa psych ng mga guys who will love us in the future.

[janix athena]

This is a post made by a father regarding "What advice to tell my sons about marriage."  found on this link below:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/17240-what-advise-tell-my-sons-about-marriage.html

"She must not be sexually promiscuous. I am speaking bluntly, but I tell my sons to avoid a young women with already children out of wedlock, or even to discover they are knowing many men sexually, this is also a red flag to avoid. Understand this is not for any religious reasons, but merely social and emotional and scientific and health reasons. I have raised my sons and daughter to be respecting themselves and their bodies, and they should expect to find companionship possessing such respect as well"

[curlyhair]

i don't have any sexual past, but my husband keeps on believing na meron.
noong time na magboyfriend pa lang kami, he was my first bf and he was also the first one, but for three years, on and off ang relationship namin kaya i have bf in betweens. naniniwala siya na i do it with other guys na naging bf ko din when we are not together.... i don't know how to change his mind...basta ako, alam ko na wala naman talaga