Guys, do you feel bothered by your wife/gf's sexual past?

[janix athena]

I stumbled upon a forum from a Western viewpoint (North America). There was a thread about a guy being so bothered by his wife's sexual past, and sinking to depression because counselling/meds didn't help, even after 30 years of being married. I was taken by surprise, kasi diba the West is the land of equality, women empowerment, liberalism, etc, and yet I see quite a number of men who confess that it really pains them to think the wife has been with another man before them. So it got me wondering, if these supposedly "liberated" men can feel/think this way, ano naman kaya ang Pinoy guys, since we still have traditional values compared to them?

[Girltalker2]

hello sis janix!  magandang tanong. wala pang sumasagot? 

pag open-minded yung guy siguro it won't bother them?  pag Pinoy, I think generally, it is bothersome.  pag hindi serious yung guy sa gf, ok lang.  pag serious, ito, hindi ko alam how the guy deals with it.  antay pa natin - sana may magrespond na guytalker.

[ri-anne]

of course men will be bothered by it esp if they really like the girl...ego-thing or male pride or something.... 
what the guy will do (or react) after he learns about it is a different thing...(will he accept her past or be tormented by it or make her guilty or whatever)

[ButHonestly]

Kahit sino naman mababother sa past.

"I love you but I have been screwed by 60 men in the past already. I want you to be my last."  Sinong lalaking hindi mababother jan? Kahit lahat na ng senyales eh true love na to ang panghabangbuhay na?

Kung hooker yung babae at kasing kwento nya yung 11 minutes, then mas madali i-accept yun.

Curse you Paolo Coehlo!

[FOURever]

^grabe naman sis, 60 men agad. Haha! I know it's an exaggeration but still offensive.. Anyway, that's one of the reasons why i don't want to give up my mine kasi baka isumbat sakin ng guy pag di sya yung nakauna sad but that's the reality. It matters to some/most of them kahit na sila eh madalas may experience na rin naman.

[ButHonestly]

And it's not really about virginity. But we are visual beings. As we try to recreate the past it gets subconsciously resurrected in the present and it would continue to live on in your partner's memory. And may it be 6 or 60, it's still gonna be one graphic memory.

[janix athena]

Kung hooker yung babae at kasing kwento nya yung 11 minutes, then mas madali i-accept yun.
Curse you Paolo Coehlo!

Haha! This is funny.

I know there are many feminist women who would cry "double standards!!" and scorn at men for wanting their women "pure", and would say that virginity is overrated, pero sa totoo lang masakit yata talaga sa mga lalaki ang ma-imagine kung pano kang na-pleasure ng dati mong partner. Ouch.

It's sad when I hear about girls agreeing to FUBU set up kasi parang for them hindi masyado important yung gift na yun, na dapat sana ibigay lang sa The One.

Dun parin ako sa old fashioned na dapat ang mga girls eh "dalagang Pilipina".

Masyadong mahirap na ba itong ma-achieve ngayon? Tingin nyo girls?

[rianne_mallows]

oo nga wala pa guys na sumasagot. hindi ko matanong si hubs kasi siya one and only sexperience ko

siguro nakakabother kung

1. sobrang dami ng guys sa past niya kagaya ng sabi ng mga sissies here.
2. hindi magaling si guy in bed kaya insecure
3. "maliit" kaya kapag ikinompare insecure
4. kung bigla nalaman na may ibang sexual preference din in the past- like girl-girl
5. conservative si guy

[ButHonestly]

lahat naman nageevolve it. its the  most natural thing that would happen. we just need to adapt. We always feel nostalgic and sad about how its hard or impossible for things to be like they were, but thats about it.

[ButHonestly]

Well, Im a guy. I just dunno how ba maging guytalker stats ko?

[tawnylee]

Wow...thank God for this post! Let me just type my experiences.

[tawnylee]

Hi. I'm basically what you would call a good girl growing up. I guess up to now naman, I have a good high-paying job for my age, graduated from the top school in the country etc. etc. (puro papuri sa sarili ko hahaha)...point is, I'm the type of girl na parents would make "reto" their children to.

But I have a secret. I have a past.

Was super conservative, till I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend. Who was super liberated. He opened me up to a whole lot of sexual experiences, before eventually cheating on me. Ang sakit diba? I retaliated by "going wild", entering into a relatonship na puro sex lang din. Of course, after a year of doing that I realized that ayoko ng ganung buhay. Ayoko ng patapon na buhay haha. So I fixed myself, studied hard to become cum laude, landed a job and worked really hard. Went back to school for post grad studies. Basically, for 3 years, single ako. No sex. All para maging quality person, to find myself, etc.

Half a year ago I met a man who's a lot different from my exes and the men I've been involved with. Super conservative and sobrang bait. A good guy. And I really, really love him.The problem is, no matter what I do, he really gets hurt over my past. What do I do guys? I really love this person

[chirochan]

^ just listen to maging sino ka man sis pakinig mo din kay bf mo

[aeonflare]

Hi sis, I think medyo bothered din ang mga male genes dun. My husband nga, almost 4 years na kmi married, but when mag-aaway kmi lagi na [textspeak!] me bring-up ng mga stories about my ex's. It's so unfair lang, kc kahit wala kang gnagawang masama napapasama ka na lang because of that. Mas okay pa ata na hindi ko na lang kinuwento [textspeak!] past ko para wala syang nagamit against me.

[mooncake and leaves]

"Dun parin ako sa old fashioned na dapat ang mga girls eh "dalagang Pilipina".

Masyadong mahirap na ba itong ma-achieve ngayon? Tingin nyo girls?"

I hate the dalagang Pilipina. I think she's full of s*it. Loljk.

If you're asking if it's hard to remain a virgin until marriage, speaking for myself, yes. Personally, I love sex. I'm not asking anyone to love me for it; I just don't want to be made to feel guilty about it. I knew early on that I wasn't going to be a virgin bride. Not that I slept with a lot of guys but the way I see it, I'd rather make a lot of mistakes, if I can even call them that, when I'm young and single than experiment when I'm older and married. I want to be able to put all that kalokohan behind me. I had my fun. I make no apologies for that. And if the person I'm with can't take any of that, then he's not the right person for me. If he doesn't think I'm good enough for him, then he's not good enough for me. It's that simple.

[dca201]

Nice insights, ladies.

In my opinion, what's in between a woman's ear is so much more essential than what's in between her legs and what can be seen outside. A woman's worth is not equivalent to the size of her bra, her beauty is not measured by the amount of make-up she puts on, her knowledge goes beyond her abilty to remember the number and names of the men she slept with and her whole being is not reflected on how she responds to tasteless pick-up lines.

What's way important is everything is laid down from the start so equal footing, 'cuentas claras' kumbaga.

[FOURever]

^sabi nga ni Mark Twain, after twenty years, you'll regret more the things you didn't do than what you did di ko lang sure kung applicable dito sa topic yan..

Sa situation ko ngayon naman, bothered ako kasi almost 5 yrs na kami ni bf and walang nangyayari dahil i promise to be a virgin bride. Bothered akong maghanap sya ng iba. Dahil may nakikita na akong porn videos na nilalagay nya sa cp nya.. Pero kung ako tatanungin, kung wala yung promise ko na yun, baka di na rin ako V ngayon and I don't know, maybe i would not really feel guilty about it.. Maybe I would not regret it din.

Magiging "depende sa sitwasyon" na lang talaga..

[Girltalker2]

Half a year ago I met a man who's a lot different from my exes and the men I've been involved with. Super conservative and sobrang bait. A good guy. And I really, really love him.The problem is, no matter what I do, he really gets hurt over my past. What do I do guys? I really love this person

He should accept you as you are kung talagang mahal ka nya.

This is my dilemma rin right now.  Parang unfair.  In my case naman, all my life inayos ko ang buhay ko. Pero ang nagloko yung ex hubby ko. He was my one and only for over 20 years. A virgin bride. And yet, anong napala ko?  Wala.  Heto. Separated simply because I cannot take his womanizing.

So, why not enjoy life.  Why hold back if you are decided talaga na that's what you want?  Dahil sa "imaginary" future na karelasyon mo na may likelihood na he will be bothered with your past?  Hmmmm I don't know.

20s and 30s ko was dedicated to my ex.  Now that I am single again, I thought na I only have a few years nalang before I will lose interest. I happen to like this particular guy but I don't think he is for the long term. Sad.  It did enter my mind - to entertain him in bed. But it has been over 2 months, I do not know what to do. At my age, I should know.  But I am torn.  On one hand, iniisip ko, I need to enjoy my life before I get wrinkly since my best years were wasted with a jerk.  But at the same time, what if I meet The One?  In the ideal scenario, I would want to be with someone I love and loves me back.  But hey, life is not ideal.  So up until now, I cannot make up my mind. 

Kaya hanggang ngayon "virgin" pa daw ako at my seasoned age!  Regrets?  I won't know siguro until I am 80! haha  Until then, magpost ulit siguro ako dito hahaha 

[TuscanSun]

the past becomes a major issue for men when they would know about it after they fell in love. it is like a stab on the back. a betrayal. thus, if you have a past, share it before  making the commitments. if you were not able to share ahead, dont share forever.

[tawnylee]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

the past becomes a major issue for men when they would know about it after they fell in love. it is like a stab on the back. a betrayal. thus, if you have a past, share it before  making the commitments. if you were not able to share ahead, dont share forever.

I understand that. However, we were friends first before we got into a commitment. I told him about my past and told him that if he's not okay with it, he shouldn't pursue a relationship with me. But still he did. And yet this happened.