Obligasyon ba talaga ng anak na buhayin ang magulang after nilang makapagtapos?

[mhy_pie03]

^Tama naman. Ang problema lang kasi sa trend ngayon lalo sa Pilipinas, pinagaaral yung anak para magkaroon lahat ng magandang kinabukasan. Ako kasi if ever magkakapamilya ako, ayoko ng ganung setup. Walang liberty. Kaya mo sila pinagaral para magkaroon sila ng magandang bukas not vice versa. Ganya status ng bf ko kaya hindi na ako umaasa na may magiging future pa kami. Sana kung magaanak, isipin mabuti kung kaya ba talaga. Hindi yung dahil sa gusto mong makaahon sa hirap. Yung mga nasa squatter's area ganyan katwiran nila. Nagaanak daw sila ng marami para kahit isa man lang daw doon makapagbigay ng magandang bukas.

[Purple_Power]

^Yan pa isang nakakainis mag-aanak ng marami kasi ang mentality nila is yung mga anak ang yaman nila, pero kung hindi sila naging maayos na magulang pwedeng maging loko lahat yan kaya wala rin silang kasiguraduhan sa expectations nila. Samahan mo pa na mag-anak ng marami sabay in the end sisisihin ang gobyerno sa kahirapan nila. Kung gusto nilang makaahon sa hirap gumawa sila ng paraan hindi yung anak ang aasahan nila. Maraming cases rin na dahil sa expectations nila may mga nasisira lalo na kapag nasakal nang husto ang anak.

[mhy_pie03]

^Naku teh. Ang masaklap pa diyan, yung mga anak nila maaga ring nagaasawa at nagaanak din ng marami kaya same old trend lang. 

[Purple_Power]

^you see? never ending kasi yan ang naganisnan nilang tama na nakita sa magulang nila in which hindi nila namamalayan kung ano ang masamang epekto nun. Same old trend mentality rin na anak ang aasahan nila. Kaya kita mo minsan sa mga ganyang bagay may nadedepress hanggang sa may nagsusuicide na especially if you don't know how to handle children with moral values. Maraming obligasyon ang magulang hindi lang sa responsibilidad in finances such as education, shelter and food. Hindi kailanman dapat mawala ang influence ng moral values eh!

[Scubadoobidoo]

You cant help but think about your future talaga. I dont think naman you should have kids hoping na umangat sila para hindi kayo mahirapan in your old age. Couples should have kids if kaya na nila. Then you invest in your kids...you shower them with love, education, guidance and those other stuff. In return i still believe its partly their obligation to take care of you when your old the way you took care of them when they were young. I think the cycle is supposed to be that way. Assuming [textspeak!] ayaw mo ng ganyan na setup...when both of you are really old like in your 80's na who will take care of you? Nursing home nalang ba with the chance of being abused? I think with the right guidance this cycle is not supposed to be painful. Like in my case never naman sinabi ng parents ko that we are obligated to take care of them pero its understood na. Case to case basis kasi sa akin i was the last one to get married so ok lang we stayed at our house with my folks. My wife was ok with the setup naman kasi. Hati lang namin ang time namin between my folks and my in laws.

[carlijn]

Dialogue sakin ng mom ko... "Ako naman ang paginhawahin mo pagkatapos ng mga hirap ko sayo"
Wala naman problem sana sa akin to show my gratitude, dahil dadating ang araw na tatanaw talaga ako ng utang na loob, pero yung ipamuka sayo yun at a very early age, tapos in the process eh papakialaman lahat ng decision mo eh iba nang usapan na yun tapos sisingilin mo ko agad ng kabayaran eh hindi ko nga magawa gusto ko dahil sa kakapakialam nya sa halos lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko kahit nasa tamang edad na ako. 

[Scubadoobidoo]

Dialogue sakin ng mom ko... "Ako naman ang paginhawahin mo pagkatapos ng mga hirap ko sayo"
Wala naman problem sana sa akin to show my gratitude, dahil dadating ang araw na tatanaw talaga ako ng utang na loob, pero yung ipamuka sayo yun at a very early age, tapos in the process eh papakialaman lahat ng decision mo eh iba nang usapan na yun tapos sisingilin mo ko agad ng kabayaran eh hindi ko nga magawa gusto ko dahil sa kakapakialam nya sa halos lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko kahit nasa tamang edad na ako.

I think your the exception to this rule carlijn 

[mhy_pie03]

Hindi kasi dapat ibinubuhos ang lahat ng kita sa mga bata dahil kailangan may itinatabi ka rin for your own future. Kung ang kalakaran ng buhay ay panay utang na loob system, bakit pa sila nagpamilya in the first place? Sana hayaan nating mabuhay ang mga bata na walang pasanin dahil ganito naman talaga dapat.
Pero kung nandiyan na talaga yan eh wala ka na talagang magagawa, as if may choice ka pa. At kung able to work pa naman hangga't maaari gumawa rin ng paraan. Tingnan nalang natin ang mga first world countries, uugod ugod na pero nagtatrabaho pa sa sarili nila. Hindi kasi uso sa kanila ang "asa" system. Kanya kanyang kayod kaya para mas maging madali ang retirement: save, invest at put up a business na pwedeng pagkunan ng pang araw araw na gastos.

[Scubadoobidoo]

But when you see the old people in those first world countries bagsak sa nursing home lahat and ive read about those horror stories sa nursing home sa news. I think mas ok parin ang ganitong system dito wag lang extreme. Dapat balanced. Hindi mo naman dapat bigay lahat ng kita mo sa parents mo, just give a portion of your earnings, nothing wrong with it. And if matino mag isip parents mo they wont demand from you naman. And also you have to consider pag tumatanda na ang parents natin mas nagiging tampuhin sila the same way nung bata tayo matampuhin din tayo. 

[mhy_pie03]

I beg to disagree. My friends and other relatives are living in such countries and they have the best health care which includes nursing homes. There might be some bad incidents but you cannot generalize it as whole. Our system nowadays worsens and worsens because of the population and "asa" mode system. Unless the next generation learn something from this, the same old trend will never go away and poverty is something that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.

[Scubadoobidoo]

And i have relatives in those countries too. Sorry but i still like it here..whats wrong is in our case extreme sobra. Umaasa sobra lang sa mga anak. Lucky for me my parents dont depend on us entirely. Financially wala silang problema even with that i pay for all the utilities at home and all the grocery and maids. My siblings would feel bad if dun nalang namin nilagay sa nursing home ang parents namin. Kasi for us thats the easy way out nalang. Basta kaya mo mag bayad ng nursing home dun mo nalang itapon. I would rather take care of them than do that. You have to ask yourself this question..if your that old do you want to be surrounded by your love ones or old strangers? I would rather my parents enjoy their twilight years with their family than strangers. Just my 2 cents  As to the poverty issue its a little bit more complicated than the asa system lang.

[mhy_pie03]

^Yes too extreme to take. The asa system boils down to the poverty issue we have nowadays. Walang wala sila kaya kung sinong kumakayod, siyang aasahan, worse nagiging obligasyon. Well yung "obligasyon" issue naman eh medyo hindi rin siya applicable sa akin though utility bills ay ako rin nagbabayad at hangga't maaari ayaw ko ng gumagastos parents ko. May mga naipundar sila like apartments kaso kulang parin so I am looking for some other business options para mas sustainable ang pamumuhay nila.
As for the "taking care of OLD parents", that's a totally different story. I am only citing my personal perspective about children being obliged for a financial support towards their parents.

[Scubadoobidoo]

I think dito sa atin yung problem is yung mga kaya pa mag work umaasa dun sa mga may better job. If you attended the talk of Suze Orman yan ang sinabi nya problema dito...those OFW's send all their money back here to their families, problem yung mga nandito ayaw na mag trabaho and umaasa lang sa padala. Mali naman kasi yun. Pero i saw in one of her shows sabi nya "you should take care of your parents in their old age the same way they took care of you when you where young. And that includes financial stuff." Minsan kasi we tend to lose perspective when we have our own family na and i hate to say it medjo nagiging selfish tayo. Kasi if your parents dont have the financial capability i think its ok naman to ask them to live with you. Ano ba ang 2 more mouths to feed, hindi naman sila matakaw pag matanda na. Ayaw lang natin pinapakelaman tayo kasi matanda na tayo pero when you look at it talaga alam mo naman they do it because may paki sila sa iyo. For me your parents should not obligate you to offer financial support but you yourself should do it without being asked. Whats life without an iphone and those gadgets when it can make life for your parents better during their twilight years. 

[mhy_pie03]

Kahit hindi na ofw eh, dito nalang sa atin ang dami kong kaibigan na nasa ganyang sitwasyon. Karamihan hindi na nga makapagasawa because their whole life is entangled with it. Sa amin nalang ng bf ko, up until now umaasa sa kanya buong pamilya niya. His mom and dad are on their 40's both not working. So ano ng mangyayari doon? Habang buhay nalang na ganun? That is why I highlighted OLD because that is a different thing meaning unable to do things on their own with no retirement preparation. Ngayon kung able to work at hindi pa naman retirado hindi ba pwedeng kumayod naman din sila like magtayo ng business para naman hindi hingi ng hingi. At kung kikita sana naman may kapuntahan at hindi naglulustay ng pera. Yan din ang kinaibahan ng mayayaman sa mahihirap just like DMCI's founder, matanda na pero nagtatrabaho parin for the company considering na billionaire na siya.

Para sa mga katulad kong bata bata pa, let's plan, save and invest for our future. Let's not make our past experiences repeat its history by not being prepared making the future generations feel so burdened. Ang dami ng libro, seminars, videos na pwedeng basahin at panoorin all accessible through a click of a mouse.

[Scubadoobidoo]

So are you going to dump your BF?  Just curios

[mhy_pie03]

^Segway talaga ah. I won't use the word dump dahil hindi naman basura ang tingin ko sa kanya. I already said to him na separate ways nalang talaga dahil naranasan na namin ng family ko yung ganyang eksena. Though hindi parents ng daddy ko dahil ulila na siya pero yung extended family niya. Inobliga niya ang sarili niya na buhayin ang mga kapatid niya at mga pamangkin kaya madalas gipit kami. Ngayong retirado na siya ang daming naglalabasang sakit at kahit may 2-3M siya, hindi yun kakasiya considering na he was earning more than half a million way before, yan lang naipon niya.
I have paid my bf's cc bill amounting to 200k so he could have a fresh start pero it's all going back to nothing. It will just a pointless discussion with you if I elaborate more since it's a different story.

Also, since we have different views regarding this, then let's just leave it there.

[Scubadoobidoo]

Hirap ng ganyan. I can feel for your ex-bf and your side. Its like being caught between a rock and a hard place. Yung bf mo naman dapat he should put limits kasi otherwise no future. Can i forward my next CC bill to you for payment too? 

[mhy_pie03]

^Wala na teh. Said na ako! HAHAHA! I can only do so much.
Ang problema kasi siya lang nakapagaral dahil nung una iniwan sila ng mama nila kaya may mga half siblings sila tas ngayon bumalik. Yung mga half sisters niya may mga trabaho na rin pero ang bigay nun minsanan lang hindi katulad sa case niya, salo niya lahat. Take note financial advisor pa siya niyan.
Kaya ako nagsisikap nalang ako para sa sarili ko at mga magulang ko para mabigyan sila ng magandang ikabubuhay. Magasawa at magkaanak man ako, secured ang future ko.

[Scubadoobidoo]

Naku pag ako nyan i wont do that lalo na if my mom left me. tsk tsk tsk. So next goal mo nalang is to find a new bf 

[swtgrl_bee]

Isa lang sagot ko dito, hindi.