I think my fiance is falling for someone else..

[Girltalker2]

just want to say thank you sa lahat who took time to post in this thread and gave their advises. Sorry di ko na kayang isa-isahin lahat. 
I can say that most of your advises helped me in a lot of ways.

The girl and I talked the other day, as I said to hear her side of story.
What's funny is that the girl admitted that my fiance did showed affection on her.
all her instances shows na yung fiance ko is doing this and that to her pero sya sinasabi nya wala syang feelings sa fiance ko, purely friendship lang daw ang tingin nya dito.
Ang sakin lang hindi naman siguro mag-eeffort ang fiance ko sa kanya, kung sya wala rin ginawa in return.

Last night, fiance and I talked finally ever-since Monday.
Told him that I want to hear his story again and all I ask is the truth. syempre di ko muna sinabi na nag-usap kami ni girl.
Inaamin nya na he did fell for the girl and that they had a mutual understanding.
tipong pseudo relationship.
he admitted na sobrang na-enjoy nya yung merong nagpaparamdam how special he is pati na rin yung special effort na pinapakita sa kanya ng girl.
he even told me na pakiramdam nya parang ang gwapo nya.

Fiance told me how sorry he was for causing me all this pain.
He knows he became selfish and stupid.
At dun daw sa 5 days na di kami nagkita, and the thought of losing me just re-affirms how he really love me.
He is asking for one last chance to make everything right.

sis, how sure are you na hindi kinwento ng girl sa fiance mo na nag-usap kayo ni bes?

tsaka typical yan. yung 3rd party, laging sinasabi na "mahal nyako", sya nagpapakita ng moves, at "wala akong kalandian or kasalanan". 

[manang02]

^ kaya nga sis eh.. sobra sya magmalinis. parang ang ganda nya para palabasin nya na naghahabol yung lalake sa kanya. tsk! tsk! di ko akalin na me mga ganoong babae. mukha kasi syang kagalang-galang. Recently pinabasa sakin ni fiance yung mga text sa kanya ni girl, as in nangungulit, tanong ng tanong kung ano na status namin, napa-paranoid daw sya at sana wag syang tiisin kasi magkaibigan naman sila ni fiance.
Sabi ko ke fiance, itext nya yung girl na tigilan na sya and tell her they are not friends anymore. fiance also made me see that he indeed sent it to the girl.
At nakita ko rin ang reply nung girl, cursing him and nagbitaw din sya ng mga mga di na kagandahan na salita at pananakot. 

[zee87]

so much for a bestfriend huh!

[mommy_lani]

^ kaya nga sis eh.. sobra sya magmalinis. parang ang ganda nya para palabasin nya na naghahabol yung lalake sa kanya. tsk! tsk! di ko akalin na me mga ganoong babae. mukha kasi syang kagalang-galang. Recently pinabasa sakin ni fiance yung mga text sa kanya ni girl, as in nangungulit, tanong ng tanong kung ano na status namin, napa-paranoid daw sya at sana wag syang tiisin kasi magkaibigan naman sila ni fiance.
Sabi ko ke fiance, itext nya yung girl na tigilan na sya and tell her they are not friends anymore. fiance also made me see that he indeed sent it to the girl.
At nakita ko rin ang reply nung girl, cursing him and nagbitaw din sya ng mga mga di na kagandahan na salita at pananakot. 

iba na talaga ang panahon ngayon sis! yung mga 3rd party or kabit sila na talaga ang matatapang!
Sila na nga ang mali sila pa ang malalakas ang loob na maghanap ng away..
better show her that you are stonger than her, tignan mo?sabi nya wala syang feelings para kay boyfriend?tapos ngayon sya pa itong parang namamalimos ng time at atensyon. Kawawang babae but its better for her para magkaroon sya ng leksyon.

mukhang nageefort naman si boyfriend na patunayan sayo na he really want to win you back...its up to you now sis kung tatanggapin mo pa sya o hindi na. But i know syempre mas gusto mo parin na maging maayos kayo. basta ingat nalang sa mga desisyon...think 100 times before decide

[piggy619]

ayan na :-) mga ganyang babae (bestfriend kuno) ang drama ay "heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned"

try mo sis ikaw ang mag reply sa texts nya pretending to be ur bf :-)

[manang02]

^ oo nga eh.. nakakairita. actually nagpipigil lang ako pero gusto ko ng itext at murahin.. haha. pero nagkasundo na kami ni fiance na wag nang pansinin kasi mukhang yun ang objective nya eh.
Sabi ko na lang ke fiance, wag na wag nya ng kausapin yun sa office nila kahit mamilit pa yung girl.
Tsaka binura ko na rin yung number nya sa phone ni fiance.

Medyo nag-eeffort naman si fiance now. pero sabi ko sa kanya, hindi pa kami ok.
Marami pa kaming dapat pag-usapan at i-settle.

[rae]

Hirap nyan magkasama sila sa opisina. Wag ka munang pakasiguro.

Ganyan sa friend ko dati e. Mega-iyak yung guy, na kesho ganito, ganyan, nagsisisi etc.

Tapos a few months after balik sa dating gawain.

[gab54]

sis manang02
Question... nag all the way ba ang affair or nag flirting lang?

kaya ganyan ang kwento ng girl, kasi kita niya na inayawan na siya ng fiance mo, at ayaw niya na mabukeng naman siya sa fiance niya...

if i were you, hindi ko na itutuloy ang revenge ko (na isumbong siya kay tulfo, este fiance niya), hayaan ko na sila, so she can leave my fiance alone. i might play dumb nalang, there's no use to let her know i read all her texts, that way may huling baraha pa ako. its better to be underestimated...
then re: my fiance, if i feel ngayon palang ayoko na ituloy ang kasal, i wont. cancel or postpone, basta when in doubt, dont... pero if mahal ko talaga, i will take him back, at the end of the day, i want to be happy. pero i will tell him he has to earn the trust. that may mean- answering all your questions, giving u all passwords, letting u read all messages, reporting to u all his plans/schedules, etc.

[stylishmomy]

^totally agree with you sis, your man needs to gain the TRUST and win you back all over, I believe that includes, knowing all his password and having access to his cellphone and definitely give more time sa engagement.. extend muna ang wedding date para sigurado

[manang02]

@sis gab54: : i asked fiance about it, sabi nya wala naman daw nangyari sa kanila nung girl, kahit kiss or holding hands. pero di pa ko convince kaya ask ko ulit sya during our one-on-one ulit. Me ni-ready kasi ako na mga set of questions sa kanya.
Though, nakakaparanod talang isipin na baka nag-uusap sila sa office kaya I did ask him about it everyday. so far, sabi nya di naman daw.

@stylishmommy:that's one of my requet to him if we talk na about certain agreements for the betterment of our relationship.

Re: Marriage, that will really be postponed, though I haven't talk about it with him yet.

[rae]

^ The only problem with that is, you will never really know kung anong mga nangyari sa kanila sa past. Regardless kung anong sabihin nya.

You just have to work on the trust thing.

Good luck! I admire your courage big time.

[IronLady]

grabe sis manang yung pinagdaanan mo.. ang hirap din i-work out yung trust kapag ganyang nasira na. kairita talaga yang mga ganyang babaeng na malandi! eto namang mga lalake, malalandi din. bakit kasi hindi kayang magturn down ng offer? ayan napapasama tuloy. haha!

[manang02]

sis IronLady: ganun talaga, mahirap nga din tanggapin na mga ganung babae..pero pinakamasakit kasi bumigay yung lalake.   

update lang: break na pala kami ni fiance.. This is the 3rd time na nag-initiate ako na makipagbreak after his affair. Mukhang final na ito kasi hindi na nya ako pinigilan, worse, sya pa ang galit na parang since ito ang gusto ko eh di gawin. ginawa nya na daw lahat pero hindi ko daw yun na-appreciate. 

[babymeow04]

sis IronLady: ganun talaga, mahirap nga din tanggapin na mga ganung babae..pero pinakamasakit kasi bumigay yung lalake.   

update lang: break na pala kami ni fiance.. This is the 3rd time na nag-initiate ako na makipagbreak after his affair. Mukhang final na ito kasi hindi na nya ako pinigilan, worse, sya pa ang galit na parang since ito ang gusto ko eh di gawin. ginawa nya na daw lahat pero hindi ko daw yun na-appreciate. 

e baket naman??? i thought ok na?based sa previous posts mo, mukha namang ginawa nya lahat ng pinapagawa mo sa kanya what more do you want ba?

[gab54]

sad to hear... but since it's ur final decision, im sure u have thought & pray about it na. it's time to move on...

[rae]

update lang: break na pala kami ni fiance.. This is the 3rd time na nag-initiate ako na makipagbreak after his affair. Mukhang final na ito kasi hindi na nya ako pinigilan, worse, sya pa ang galit na parang since ito ang gusto ko eh di gawin. ginawa nya na daw lahat pero hindi ko daw yun na-appreciate. 

Some guys kasi na nambabae, iniisip nila, it's that easy to forget about it. Mag-eeffort ng isang buwan tapos maaasar na.

The fact na napatawad sila is already a big big big effort sa part ng girl. Madami akong nabasa na book ng marriage counselors na kelangan din talaga intindihan ng guy na it takes time for a woman to really go back to the way it was.

A friend who was cheated on said that it took her a year to get over what happened.

[IronLady]

aww sis.. maybe its really not meant to be.. e sa ganun talaga eh.. di ganun kadali makalimot.. e sa maliit ang patience ni guy.. kala nya onting suyo suyo lang ok na? sabi nga nila ang tiwala parang babasagin, kapag nabasag na hindi na mabubuo pa, masusugatan ka lang kapag pinilit mo ibalik pa.. hehe! isipin mo na lang hindi ka ganun ka-love ni guy para maging ganun kalawak ang pagintindi nya kung bakit ka hindi makamove on sa ginawa nyang mali.. o kaya naman hindi lang talaga sya yung ganung type ng tao na iintindi sa mga consequences ng mga actions nya.. hindi nya naiisip na grabe ang impact sayo nun..

napagusapan nga namin ng bf ko yan dati.. sabi ko siguro pag niloko nya ko, pipilitin ko pa din na bigyan sya ng isa pang chance, kasi mahal ko sya.. pero siguro hindi rin kami magtatagal na.. kasi hindi na mababalik sa dati yung trust ko, map-praning lang ako at ina-nag ko sya ng bongga, siguradong sya na rin ang bibigay.. haha!

anyways sis, IMO dapat tulungan kayo if you still want your relationship to work.. give yourself time.. wag mo madaliin na patawarin sya, o matakot na mawala sya dahil lang di ka nagrerespond sa kanya.. ikaw muna sa ngayon ang isipin mo.. e kapag wala natapos na pagmumuni mo at love mo pa din.. edi move on na lang.. dapat back to zero na kayo.. sympre di maiiwasan magduda, mahurt, pero pilitin mo i-control yung emotions mo.. isipin mo e choice mo naman to stick with him eh.. sorry mahaba.. hehe..

[manang02]

sis rae: sa akin hindi isang buwan eh, nung first two weeks lang after ko ma-discover, tapos yung efforts, hatid sundo sa office/house, dala ng food, flowers, at texting ng mas madalas. Eh I feel na kulang pa yun eh. Tsaka di consistent, dahil yun nga nung two weeks lang.

I feel naman na nagkulang ako sa appreciation kasi di ko inappreciate yung mga efforts, instead i became critical and fault-finding.
Andami ko na-realize na mali ko this past days na wala kaming contact.
Most importantly, I learn to renew my relationship with God and submit everything to Him. Because I believe He has a purpose for all of this.

[nicoletta]

It is very hard to trust after your man breaks his promise.  What if it happens again?  Can he assure you that it won't happen again?  How can you say if he already lied to you once...  If that happened to me, I wont forgive him even if he is already my fiancee

[mommy_lani]

sis, buti na rin siguro yan atleast nakilala mo sya ng maaga at hindi na umabot pa sa kasal...
well kung sumuko na sya it's his lost... just be strong always pray to GOD and sana maka move-on ka na din kaagad...TC!