Stories of breakup and second chances

[simplybeautiful]

Hi mga sisses.. sino sa inyo ang nagkaroon ng break ups before but eventually got back together with their ex? how was it? ano yung naging reason ng break up and how did you got back together?

i personally was dumped because i was such a nagger at lagi kong nakikita yung mali sa ex ko.. til it came a point that he wasn't happy na with the relationship. Ngayon, my ex is dating someone else... pero alam mo yun... i just have a strong feeling na mahal niya pa rin talaga ako and he and his rebound girl wouldn't work out (patay na patay naman kasi sa kanya rebound niya).. i'm still hoping that we could still have that "one more chance" ending.

kayo sis, when you got back.. naging success story ba?

[h_mische]

In my case, hindi. I just gave my ex a second chance to hurt me again. so ang nangyari samin, break up - second chance - break up [with matching tadyak at sampal para makaganti man lang ako. hahaha]

[FOURever]

yung last bf ko, nakipagbreak sya kasi nagselos sa varsity player ng university namin then after few months, nakipagbalikan sya mas ok kami nung nagkabalikan kaso bumabalik na naman sa pagiging seloso, eh ayoko na ng stress, saka wala na kami time (kinakarir nya pagiging scholar, ako naman kakaririn ko rin pagiging scholar at medstudent) kaya goodbye!

Yung isa kong inaantay, si first bf. Good friends kami. Konti na lang magiging kami na nung naging single ako nung naghiwalay kami ng last bf ko eh, ayun, eh sinabi ko sa kanya ayoko muna isipin mga ganung bagay, masyado nag lie low though andun pa rin sya for me, kaso itong si last bf umeksena ulit. Inaantay ko na magparamdam ng sign si first bf kaso wala pa. Di ko naantay so tinry ulit namin ni last bf.. Ngayon, di ko alam kung ok na si first bf pero i wish him happiness though deep inside, i'm still waiting while moving on.. Or baka sadyang soulmates lang kami

[ettevyvi]

Yes, I did give two of my exes I really loved second chances and yung isa, I-don't-know-how-many-chance chance.

The 1st one we broke up because he dumped me. I dont know why he did but I didn't pursue him na din. We saw each other then sparks flew and naging kami kahit na sobrang sakit ng ginawa nyang pang-iiwan sa ere. We got back but broke up finally, because he was "in love" with my bestfriend and cheated. He courted my bestfriend but they didn't end up together. Ok na kami ngayon as friends. Like friends, friends.

The current ex, we broke up the first time around because he wasn't giving me time, etc. Basta complicated masyado ugali! Pero tipong breakup na tipong nag-uusap kami na maayos. We got back, broke up, and got back. Then he cheated with his officemate. Right now I don't want to hear anything from him.

So second chances rarely work for me as of the moment. Naiisip ko nga dapat maging brutal na ako. I cannot handle another emotional turmoil if someone will break up w/ me tapos magkakabalikan din ulit. Guys would only have one shot at me. It is so hard to give people a second chance nowadays. You can forgive, but never forget.

[tipC_shoegal]

I gave my recent ex a second chance. Looking at it now, I feel that I signed a "death wish" when I did that but still, I've no regrets because he gave me one of the greatest feelings I could ever feel in this lifetime. I broke it off because I learned that I was his "#2". After giving him a daily dose of my anger and frustration (I'd send him hate messages over YM and his number everytime I'd feel really, really pained.), he manned up and told me that he wanted to see me to further explain everything until I fell for his "promises" and then we got back then all was again almost perfect but then things turned against us because he never really learned his lesson and a lot of other sh!tty things happened which I treated blindly until I realized that I wasn't really the person I was in that relationship. In fact, I figured that I was slowly dying by sustaining the abusive treatment that my now ex has been giving me. It took me a lot of courage and logical thinking to break it off. I literally got tired and I missed my old self and had to really make a move to repair my broken self. I was too damaged and was really close to hating the male population in general so I said "Enough is enough."

I fell. I fell for a player. A bad-ass, pro and that fall was really hard. I became blinded until I was too numb to realize but thankfully I was brought back to my senses before I could've been killed (if I chose to stay and continuously hope that he'd change and become the person that he was when he was still courting me.).

Right now, I feel that second chances should be dealt with a lot of caution and logic. It really is a case to case basis thus the logical dealing is necessary. Always put yourself first before making a final decision because again, it's like agreeing to another serving of crap (if viewed negatively, that is). 

[Foodict]

If a girl gets burned by a player. Is there a chance she will turn her attentions back to the guy she left for the player? Especially if the foundation of the previous relationship was based on a deep devoted friendship and not just romance and passion?

[tipC_shoegal]

^In my opinion, I don't think it would be that easy for the girl to turn back her attentions to the guy she left because for one, I bet she'd still consider nursing her broken heart (or probably) still consider taking the "player" back.

It's a case to case basis, the way I see it. It's up to what she really wants, what her emotions would dictate and how madly in-love she is with the person who broke her. Women are highly emotional beings and usually, we do get to believe in the saying "The only drug that could cure a certain pain is the actual cause of all the pain."

[stunning_anne]

If a girl gets burned by a player. Is there a chance she will turn her attentions back to the guy she left for the player? Especially if the foundation of the previous relationship was based on a deep devoted friendship and not just romance and passion?

I can relate sis.. that's exactly what happened to me. I felt so stupid for choosing the wrong one.

[simplybeautiful]

geez... parang wala pang success story ah. case to case basis nga ito. before getting into second chance... we should first learn to separate our emotions from our thinking. minsan kasi, nakakaloko talaga ang emotions natin...lalo na kung strong yung feelings of love... pero when we deeply think about it, we realize that some things are not really meant to be and are meant to let go.

[tipC_shoegal]

Break-ups and make-ups are experiences that would eventually become life lessons for us who've experienced them. Ika nga, "In life, we win some, we lose some." Learning from those fatal life errors can add to our strength of character. That's the beauty of being through hell and back.

I bet may mga successful women and men out there where their second chance experience did give them the best love stories however, as I see it, it's such a rare one and we shouldn't have a point of view that ALL second chances might do a relationship good since in life, it's always trial and error.

[HoldingOn]

If a girl gets burned by a player. Is there a chance she will turn her attentions back to the guy she left for the player? Especially if the foundation of the previous relationship was based on a deep devoted friendship and not just romance and passion?

Hi bro, this depends on a lot of factors such as what is the real reason for leaving the previous relationship, what really are her dreams and goals in life, etc. But, YES, there is still a 50-50 chance. In this world, there is always hope. If there are cancer patients who miraculously get healed, what more on this? Although we cannot control other people, point is, we just have to make the best of ourselves to show them that they should go back to us.

[dumpee.o13]

^^ break-up pa lang yung story ko, but I still hope may second chance pa.

[ettevyvi]

If a girl gets burned by a player. Is there a chance she will turn her attentions back to the guy she left for the player? Especially if the foundation of the previous relationship was based on a deep devoted friendship and not just romance and passion?

Yes. If she really have strong feelings for her. HOWEVER, kapag nagising na sya sa katotohanan or if she really has this firm belief that she shouldn't trust a cheater, you can bet that she'll never go back, no matter how pa-sweet the guy is with her.

^"The only drug that could cure a certain pain is the actual cause of all the pain."

Some girls believe this. (I did!) Pero it's wrong eh. It doesn't cure it unless you remove the object or person causing pain.

I think second chances work--but not for everyone and for every mistake made. For me, a cheater is just not someone I can trust again..

Same here sis! Especially if they've done it twice.

[Foodict]

^^ettevyvi

hirap kasi dun sa "ex" ko, hindi makagawa ng sariling desisyon, laging na-sway ng family nya. tapos kung kelan pa sya gumawa ng sariling desisyon obvious na sablay pa - sinu ba naman papatol sa lalaking may anak at asawa pa (na di annulled) tapos may gf AND nanligaw nung may relationship pa kami.

in time matatanggap ko yung break up. kaya lang medyo mahirap yung instant (after 1 month) replacement. I want to get back with her pero papaano mangyayari yung kung umaasa pa syang makukuha yung annullment ? So wait and see mode muna din ako. Friends muna for now. 

[ettevyvi]

^^ettevyvi

hirap kasi dun sa "ex" ko, hindi makagawa ng sariling desisyon, laging na-sway ng family nya. tapos kung kelan pa sya gumawa ng sariling desisyon obvious na sablay pa - sinu ba naman papatol sa lalaking may anak at asawa pa (na di annulled) tapos may gf AND nanligaw nung may relationship pa kami.

in time matatanggap ko yung break up. kaya lang medyo mahirap yung instant (after 1 month) replacement. I want to get back with her pero papaano mangyayari yung kung umaasa pa syang makukuha yung annullment ? So wait and see mode muna din ako. Friends muna for now. 

Careful with the friend thing. It's one thing to keep your options open and she's keeping you on hold. I highly suggest not to be friends with her and really move on na. You know cut contact and stop hanging out with her. To completely heal. Close the door to reconciliation, like as in getting back together. This is hard pero if you keep on talking to her, you're just allowing her to put salt on your wounds.

Wala naman talagang nakakamove on ng isang buwan lang. I know how it feels. Especially since Im a woman. Crying non-stop and missing him is the hardest. But if we're really seeing the relationship for what it really is, siguro mas makaka move on tayo. Not in the way na kamumuhian natin yung mga ex natin forever, although at first e gusto mo talaga sila isumpa, but in a realist way of saying, 's/he's not good enough and I shouldn't settle'. Save the good times pag super move on na.

Ang lahat ng desisyon ng isang tao, sya lang gumagawa non. Kahit malakas ang influence ng isang tao o bagay, unless napilitan sya. Pero we make our choices e. And obviously, your ex made the choice of choosing an uncommitted guy. It's enough reason not to pursue her anymore. We have to think for our own good most of the time.

[mamapeew]

Bigyan kita ng pag-asa.

I used to be in a long distance relationship and most of you know how it works. We see each other every 3 to 4 months. Sa LDR, trust is very important. Text and calls lang communication namin. Nung nakakaramdam ako na parang nanlalamig sya (kahit sa phone lang), I asked him, kasi wala naman talaga kaming pinagaawayan. He admitted he was seeing someone else. Parang gumuho mundo ko noon. For me, it's the end of our relationship. First bf e. Walang pagbabasehan. Nung nagkita kami, sabi nya gusto nya akong balikan pero small things, kinagagalit nya. Parang lagi nya akong hinahanapan ng mali. In the end, napagod na rin ako, sabi ko ayoko na. Sya naman ang bumalik. Bigyan ko pa raw sya ng chance but to tell you honestly, sa sobrang sakit, parang namanhid na ako but I still gave him a chance, ayoko rin kasi magsisi.

Sinabi ko na lang na isang pagkakamali lang e goodbye na. You know what? Di rin ako makapaniwala pero ang laki ng pagbabago nya. Unti unti (but it took years kasi nga long distance kami), nahulog ulit loob ko. He's my ex-BF na ngayon kasi he's now my hubby. 

[Foodict]

^^ettevyvi

One thing I cant shake off is the conviction that I should be protecting her. We've been together 10 years and we regularly went to mass. Every mass I would thank God she's in my life and I vowed to keep her safe and secure.

So aside from my currently "unrequited" love that I feel strongly for her. I have a few other motivations din to keep close to her. One is to prove to her that the guy is just going to hurt her.  I'm sorely tempted to contact his wife so that my "gf" can talk to her. I've known too many guys like him and she said it herself, she wouldn't have let that type of guy get close to her before.  I can't help but feel shes being driven into this by something else aside from her usual pride, and the infatuation.

Now if she leaves the guy and finds someone who is decent, mabait at walang sabit. I'll have to accept that decision and move on. I would know she's learned enough to take care of herself na.


^mamapeew
Good for you You're blessed. What's meant to be  will come to pass talaga. Kulitan lang and patience to wait for the right opportunity.

[dumpee.o13]

Now if she leaves the guy and finds someone who is decent, mabait at walang sabit. I'll have to accept that decision and move on. I would know she's learned enough to take care of herself na.

^ i understand you, bro. i think assurance lang ang gusto mo na mapupunta sa mabuti path si ex mo. aww! that's so sweet. true love indeed. so ikaw na nga ang guardian angel nya.

[tipC_shoegal]

Some girls believe this. (I did!) Pero it's wrong eh. It doesn't cure it unless you remove the object or person causing pain.

I also believed in that saying kaya it took me 3.5 years before I realized that enough is enough. I've reached my saturation point and have gone beyond my limits that's why I decided to let go. I don't want to completely lose myself loving someone who isn't sure if he's really gonna stick it out with me or not. I thank God that I realized that he wasn't worth my sacrifices, love and most of all, my trust.

[Foodict]

^^dumpee.o13

Here's the thing kasi. I know the guy's been wooing her since last year when kami pa. Tapos sinabihan na sya na di sya pwede but I know tuloy pa rin pangungulit. Then may mga times lumalabas sila for legit business reasons pero at the same time I think nakikiramdam din sya kung [textspeak!] magiging response nya. Now her family does not like the guy kasi medyo presko ang dating. May time na pumunta sa bahay nila tapos dumerecho lang sa dining room at nakaupo dun. Nakita nung mom nya at di nagustuhan kasi wala man lang paalam na tumuloy sa bahay pumasok lang agad. "Feeling" na part na agad sya ng family.  Also mayabang talaga ang dating eh, OA sa gadgets na suot. And they know hiwalay si guy and their quite conservative about that since like my family  hiwalay din ang parents namin.

Its the small things that give the biggest alarm signals.  He's also 7 years older than her and as I have mentioned before may gf si lalake habang nagpapacute then sa gf ko. Sabi nga ng "gf" ko hindi man lang nya brineak yung babae, basta na lang di na nagparamdam. Tapos sinabihan nya nga yung guy na wag daw sana gawin yun sa kanya.

He has a son and he left his wife kasi daw nagtaksil nung nasa US. Pero this is just coming from him. Walang ibang source to corroborate the story.

Something's not right talaga.

I know that Im ignoring the fact that she went to him and returned his advances in the 1st place kahit she defends that those early visits had "business" reasons. And that she only let him get closer when She officially broke off with me. Dito siya nagkamali by underestimating my reaction and my common sense. Napaamin ko din sya na mali nga ginawa nya. Am I wrong to think that she's being immature and naive with her reaction to the guy? Kahit sya confused bakit nya pinatulan yung guy eh.

We do agree that the break up had to happen kasi nag-stagnate yung relationship but I can't stop feeling we could've fixed it if she wasn't being influenced by the guy. I got her to admit that she was the one who changed and that she couldnt find what she was looking for in me. Qualities she wasnt looking for dati. I think she's just bored and loved the feeling of being courted again. May "thrill" daw kasi.

Sabi nga sa akin eh wala daw sing lupit manligaw ang lalakeng may asawa.

Bottomline BI si guy kasi he expects her accept his less than savory ways and she thinks she can change him with her "love". We know better diba?