CASH or GIFT?

[Jailalee]

We prefer our guests to give cash as well and fiance was insisting on putting the request poem thingy in our invitation. I was against it at first kasi it can be off-putting, kaya lang kasi majority of our guests are family and really close friends so maybe they'd understand naman siguro. And besides, they're sure to ask me what they can give so I'll just reiterate nalang then in a light manner.

Personally, I don't mind if they give in-kind gifts din. Never got over the thrill of unwrapping a present e. 

[Chili1113]

To each his own. But for me one cannot go wrong when you follow rules of proper etiquette When you practice those rules, not even the queen can turn her nose up at you. That's just the way it works for me and the circle I move in There is nothing wrong in asking for cash, it is just simply not the most proper, polite, gracious thing to do. It isn't that your guests will be offended by any such statement and you are free to do whatever you want for your wedding. Just be aware that rules of etiquette are being broken. And it really isnt acceptable in polite society to ask for cash.

[hallerski]

It's just actually a matter of open mindedness and a touch of common sense at times. It's the couple's choice to have that written in the invites however, it doesn't mean that they are forcing the guests about it. They are only giving an idea of what they wanted and it only needs to be respected and understood. if you don't wanna give, then don't. No dramas!
you really have to know your guests well, and the guests in return should consider the couple's preferences as well.  I won't even think that it is "offensive", it's just how the reader would take it.

i agree with you sis.. well, to each his own naman yan..
okay din naman magbigay sila ng gifts, who doesn't want gifts diba? but for us na overseas, of course we prefer cash..
i know naman na yun na din ang naiisip ng friends and relatives namin na mas okay ang cash since di naman namin para dalhin overseas ang gifts, in case yun ang ibibigay nila..
i've attended na rin pala a lot of overseas wedding and ang culture nila dun is yung mga guests na pupunta ng kasal ay required magbigay ng ampao (hongbao/red envelope).  then ang amount na required mo ibigay is kung magkano ang food per pax sa reception.  so parang ikaw ang nagbayad ng food mo kahit guest ka pa..   and we don't find it offensive
wala lang, nai-share ko lang.. but then again, yun naman ang culture nila dun and iba naman syempre satin..
so imo, it's a matter of preference ng couple sa kung ano'ng gusto nila sa wedding nila..
to each his own sabi nga ng mga sissies natin

happy preps girls

[nathanielle]

We also did not put cash poems in our invites. When we got married around 3 years ago, we simply put a registry from Rustan's. It's really convenient. Guests can choose a gift from among those in the list, and Rustan's will send it all to an address provided by the couple. That way no one will have to carry anything. We got luggage, appliances, bed sheets, etc from there. We got cash too, enough to cover our honeymoon abroad.

I think the reason why many people find it off putting to put cash requests is because asking for cash is tantamount to broadcasting your financial situation to the whole world. You're basically saying you need cash. Not just "prefer" it, but actually need it. So bottom line is, if that's really your situation, and you're comfortable enough to admit that to family and friends, by all means go put that cash request on your invites. Personally, I don't mind getting cash requests. If a couple could use extra help in that department, who am I to judge.

[bagaholic_chewy]

Siguro nga it's a matter of perception din. I never thought na "in need" ng cash ang couple whenever I read/see subtle hints like a poem or quote sa invite. The way I see it, it's practicality and convenience. Rich or poor couple, magagamit ang cash. For whatever purpose they see fit.

Personally, cash or in-kind gift, both ok with me. I like opening gifts din kasi, lalo na if maganda ang balot. Hehe..

[stupidgal]

We might end up indicating something that says "we prefer cash" because we both reside overseas, que horror pag may nagbigay ng in-kind gift! It might offend our old guests but we might really just end up leaving their gifts in Manila if in case they give us in-kind gifts.

[MintToBe]

Since we don't reside overseas, we would prefer gifts para naman magkaron na kami ng gamit for our apartment/house. Kasi since we're from Batangas, it's a tradition and it's normal na may money dance. So we'll still be gathering cash from this. I just don't know kung sa Batangas lang ba tradition yun or ginagawa din ng iba. But it'll help also to accumulate start-up money for the newly-weds.

[avane]

attended several weddings already and if may nakalagay na something like cash ang preferred ng couple, i never find it tacky naman or anything. in fact, mas gusto ko na ganon kesa yung nagiisip pa ako ano ireregalo ko na sure na wala kapareho sa ibibigay ng iba guests otherwise they might end up giving it away lang to others. nowadays, given naman nang magbigay ng gifts sa kinakasal so why not make it easier for your guests. hindi mo naman sila pinipilit na kelangan talaga magbigay. mas ok din ito kesa sa registry, obvious kasi sino wala gifts na dala, mapressure pa ako haha at least kung cash karamihan dahil nakalagay sa invitations, wala makakakita if wala talaga ako dala pambigay. haha.

[coral]

it really depend on how you say you want cash as gift. Sa invitation pa lang you can say it in a nice way na maikli, not flowery words at hindi lalabas yung cash na word. I do not think na "unethical" na you prefer cash. Take note of the word "prefer" when saying it sa invitation - meaning hindi mandatory na cash talaga ibigay. Nowadays kase hindi lang dahil mahirap or medyo tight sa pera kaya cash ang gustong regalo. For those permanently based overseas, mas pabor nga naman na cash vs any home appliances. Hind kase madadala yan at masasayang lang. May mga alam din ako na friends na may kaya sa buhay pero they preferred cash ang ibigay. For us, we prefer cash because we wanted something na pwede namin ilagay pareho sa name namin as husband and wife and yung cash gift ng mga bisita ay good start something to remember na dito napunta yung gifts nila.

[whatswithjuly]

we put cash poems in our invites as i wanted to be clear na hindi pa namin kailangan ng gamit sa bahay. hubby will leave weeks after the wedding to go back to his work at ako mag-stay pa din sa family ko. a year after pa kami magsasama hehe.. in short, pagkakasal, hiwalay agad kami hehe..wala pa kaming paglalagyan ng gamit kung may magreregalo. but of course, why would we say no kung may bigay ng in-kind gifts? gusto ko lang clear and the first time na nakareceive ako ng invites with cash poems, i didn't mind at all. hindi ko inisip na sobrang need ng couple ng money..i just thought it was practical for them and convenient for us as guest as the couple will be leaving for abroad in few months at di din nila magagamit kung may magreregalo ng appliances, etc.

[fionaapple]

kami din cash kasi titira kami sa isa pang bahay nila h2b at may mga gamit na dun. saka kasi hindi naman ako marunong pang magluto kaya sayang lang kung puro gamit sa kusina.

ang nakalagay sa invitation namin ay:

The honor of your presence and blessing that come
from your fervent prayer means more to us than any gift.
But if you desire to give nonetheless,
a monetary gift will be much appreciated in our future.

Same tayo ng situation sis. i do not think it is tacky. Ganito nilagay namin:

As love is what the day is all about,
Your presence is something that we cannot celebrate without,
But should you believe that a gift is worth giving,
A small envelope for our future is a delightful blessing.

Kanya kanyang opinion lang naman. For some, it's tacky to put such kind of preference. Pero for me, hindi naman.

[kikaykikai]

Hello sissies,

Question lang, kung kayo yung aattend sa isang wedding ng relatives/friends/officemates/classmates, at may nakalagay sa invi nila na prefer nila cash, how much yung ibibigay nyo? Or opted pa rin kayo magbigay ng in-kind kung alam nyong di naman sila overseas? Diko kasi alam kung how much ba dapat na ibigay na di naman nakakahiya.. Thankyouu

[rae]

^ best practice is, the estimated amount of your plate at the least.

[f878]

that's a nice tip sis rae ah. noted.

sis kikaykikai, kame ang usual minimum namin is 1k. or depende din kung gano kame ka-close nung couple. that's our personal opinion lang naman.

for us, kahit di kame overseas, cash pa rin ang preferred namin kase we will be renovating yung titirhan namin. feeling ko nga mas ok pa sa'ken na bigyan ako ng 300Php na cash gift kesa bigyan kame ng worth 300Php na plantsa.

[kikaykikai]

Thanksss sis rae and f878 noted that!  First time kong aattend sa wedding na may nakalagay sa invi na they prefer monetary gift. At wala talaga ko idea kung magkano ba yung dapat ibigay. Pero ngayon meron na. Hihi. Thank youuu!

[bagaholic_chewy]

Hubby & I also usually give red packets with amount divisible by 12. So 1200/2400/3600, depends sa reception venue and yung estimated cost per plate.

[fionaapple]

before, i used to give 500 to my friends who get married because I was still sending myself to law school. but now, well, i guess i can follow that rule already.

[Chili1113]

Hello sissies,

Question lang, kung kayo yung aattend sa isang wedding ng relatives/friends/officemates/classmates, at may nakalagay sa invi nila na prefer nila cash, how much yung ibibigay nyo? Or opted pa rin kayo magbigay ng in-kind kung alam nyong di naman sila overseas? Diko kasi alam kung how much ba dapat na ibigay na di naman nakakahiya.. Thankyouu

sis, ako I compute more or less how much they spent per head (x2 if you have a date or +1 with you). Then I add a bit more as a "gift", the amount I add is depending on how close I am to the person.

When I am in the entourage, I also compute how much the couple spent for my gown and sinasama ko din yun sa amount ng gift.


So if the wedding is in a 5 star hotel usually not less than 2k per plate plus a little extra for gift. Kasi ganun na talaga ang prices ngayon eh.  But usually I buy a gift from the gift registry worth the corresponding amounts I want to give.

[kikaykikai]

Thankssss sissies sa mga replies nyo, now I know kung how much ba ang dapat ibigay pag aattend sa mga ganung weddings. And very helpful nga yun kung ganun tayo magbibigay para pangstart ulit ng couple.

[whatswithjuly]

for those who prefer cash as gift, money dance lang ba pwedeng gawin or is there any alternative way? we put cash poem in our invites but we didn't want to do the money dance. kailangan ba may money tree or box? para kasing ganun din yun minus ruining the dress hehe. or understood na bahala na sila pano iaabot sa couple?