We have a son, turning 1 -- he's adopted. Wala kaming problem sa kanya and sobrang love na love namin siya. He came at the perfect timing. Not because we were really planning to adopt, basta dumating nalang siya. Hirap paniwalaan kasi hindi naman to yung nasa isip namin when we got married pero it happened. So it must be God's will.
One thing I've learned from all this is that, adoption is not as easy as it looks like. Hindi siya katulad sa movies na pipiliin mo sino gusto mong iadopt then iuuwi mo na? No. Hindi ganun. Honestly, I don't think na tama yung ganun e. You adopt not because 'kamukha mo yung bata', or 'maganda vibes mo sa kanya'. You adopt out of love, not because it's your last option.
I think above all factors, pinakaimportante na you're emotionally ready. Financially, wala naman pagkakaiba sa pagraise ng sarili mong anak e. Wala namang diapers or milk specifically for adopted babies. Hehe! (although yung adoption process is something you should think about din. hint: lawyer fees)
Nung nagdecide kami ni hubby, alam namin marami kaming pagdadaanan na masasakit na salita from insensitive people. Sometimes, tinanong pa kami -- "E asan magulang nyan?" Sinagot ko nga, "Kami, anong tawag mo samin?" Buti nalang distant friend lang yun. Hehe! Minsan naman may stranger na lumapit samin nung pinapadede namin si baby (Syempre formula), she said, mag breastfeed ka sis, and though I know she meant well, ang sakit parin kasi that's one thing I can never give our son. Pero sabi nga ni hubby pag uwi namin, di naman kabawasan yun sa pagiging nanay ko. Naku, may nagsabi pa sakin during the early days na hindi ko alam yung gagawin ko, e dahil wala daw akong mother's instinct pero kung nanganak daw ako magkakaron ako ng ganun. Haha! The thing is, pare-pareho tayong nanay. Inire mo or hindi, hindi naman yun ang sukatan -- kasi kung 'pagbubuntis at panganganak' ang basehan, pano yung mga walang pusong nagtatapon ng anak sa basura or yung sinasabit sa puno ang baby nila? Anyway, opinion ko lang naman yun.
Anyway, buti nalang na with family and close friends, wala kaming problema. They love our son as much as we do, grabe lang ang affection na natatanggap ng anak namin, nakaka overwhelm nga e. Bago kasi kami nag 100% go, kinausap namin sila and we made sure na naintindihan nila yung situation. Ayaw namin makarinig na 'ampon ka lang naman' lalo na from younger generation. SWERTE lang namin na wala talagang feeling na ganun ngayon. Malay natin in the future pero happy na kami na sa ngayon, lahat ng tao sa paligid namin, mahal na mahal baby namin.
Isa pa pala, nung nanghihingi ako ng advice dati, my friend asked me, "Pano pag lumabas, apat lang daliri, walang paa, aampunin mo parin?" Harsh noh, pero kung hindi mo kayang sagutin agad ng "Yes!" e time for reality check. She asked me din, "Pano pag nagkasakit? Knock on wood pero pano kung mangailangan ng heart surgery or something expensive na surgery? Kaya mo ba gastusan yung hindi mo naman anak? Kaya mo?" Some actually advised us to wait for the newborn screening results pero nung nahawakan na namin si baby, deadma na sa results! Nun nasabi namin sa sarili namin, kahit ano pa lumabas sa result, mamahalin namin si baby.
My advice to you sis is to think it 100 times over. Plan about it. Hindi madali, pero hindi rin naman ganun kahirap. Hehe! Love will make you do things you never thought you can do at first. Kami ni hubby we're dead set to tell our son na he's adopted as soon as we can and not wait till he's 18 or bago ikasal. haha! We'll make him understand na kahit di siya galing samin, e mahal na mahal naman namin siya higit pa sa sarili namin.
May book ako na binabasa sa kanya ngayon, kahit mag one year palang siya. The book is "Gift from above" na tungkol sa adoption.
