My Bf's mom likes his ex than me

[gamay]

My bf and i have been together for almost 2 years. My family is ok with him kasi he's always visiting our shop almost everyday so mas may attachment sya sa fam ko while me once a week [textspeak!] ako pumunta sa bahay nila busy kasi sa shop. I thought im ok with he's mom until kanina na open sa akin ng bf ko that he's mom is comparing him to he's ex. Mas gusto daw nya yung ex kasi pagpumunta ng bahay nila may food na dala, tapos nung teachers day ( student nya yung ex ) daw binigyan pa si mom nya ng card. Mas thoughtful daw yung ex.

Thoughtful din naman ako ha, actually nung dumating ako from states boung pamilya nya may pasalubong from me, from his dad, mom and kuya.

My bf explains to his mom that those food ay binili nya with his own money and those cards too. although na explain na ng bf ko

 I cant help but think na baka his mother keeps on comparing me to his ex until now, mas marami pang comparisons aside from what i mentioned.

Mga sis, what should i do so that his mom would like me? Hindi kasi ako yung klaseng tao magilig magpa close2 agad, ganun kasi yung ex nya eh dakilang plastikada.
 

[Superjoie]

My bf and i have been together for almost 2 years. My family is ok with him kasi he's always visiting our shop almost everyday so mas may attachment sya sa fam ko while me once a week [textspeak!] ako pumunta sa bahay nila busy kasi sa shop. I thought im ok with he's mom until kanina na open sa akin ng bf ko that he's mom is comparing him to he's ex. Mas gusto daw nya yung ex kasi pagpumunta ng bahay nila may food na dala, tapos nung teachers day ( student nya yung ex ) daw binigyan pa si mom nya ng card. Mas thoughtful daw yung ex.

Thoughtful din naman ako ha, actually nung dumating ako from states boung pamilya nya may pasalubong from me, from his dad, mom and kuya.

My bf explains to his mom that those food ay binili nya with his own money and those cards too. although na explain na ng bf ko

 I cant help but think na baka his mother keeps on comparing me to his ex until now, mas marami pang comparisons aside from what i mentioned.

Mga sis, what should i do so that his mom would like me? Hindi kasi ako yung klaseng tao magilig magpa close2 agad, ganun kasi yung ex nya eh dakilang plastikada.
 

Kung hindi ka ganun sis, wag mo ipilit. tuloy mo lang yung pagiging nice mo sa mom nia. wag mo na masyadong isipin. nakakastress lang yan actually.

[chocolate]

you just have to make an effort to get to know his mom better. Probably the ex spent a lot of time investing on her relationship with his mom. You don't have to be like the ex to get the mom to like you... just be yourself and put your heart out there. Give it a chance. Pag nahuli mo na yung kiliti ng mom niya... believe me, hindi ka niya malilimutan.

[gamay]

thanks mga sis! i really appreciate your advises.  actually pa simpleng tinatanong ko yung bf ko kung ano ang mga hilig ni mom nya na mga foods. next time i'll bring Brazos daw.. haha

[ysa.belle]

you just have to be extra everything. magugustuhan ka din nila.

[caterpillar-girl]

My bf's sister likes his wife (who died during childbirth, along with the child) more than me. She always makes kwento about the wife, IN FRONT OF ME. Kesyo she was such a great cook, magaling with kids, favorite tita ng mga anak nya, whatever. That was 4 years ago ha.  Every year on facebook, the sister still greets the wife (who is now more than 4 years dead!!!!) on facebook a happy birthday, complete with I miss you and whatever else. And ako pag birthday ko WALA. As in ZERO. But his other sister, who lives abroad, calls me pa! Ibang iba sila sobra.

Anyway, my advice is, just be extra sweet to her. AND to her son. Show her na you love her son very much. Bola bolahin mo lang sya ng konti sis, pero wag sobra na mukha namang fake.  And be nice to the dad din. Be nice kahit sa family pet. Be extra nice in general. Konting effort lang naman Ngayon kung ganun pa rin, e accept it nalang. Hindi naman sya entirely against you and she's not asking her son to stop seeing you Good luck!

[gab54]

agree w/ the posts of sisses, be good to your bf, be extra nice pa to his mother. tamang tama xmas, buy her something she likes, hindi naman kelangan expensive, baka akala binibili mo siya (magkano ka? hehe), giving her something she likes shows u care, pinag isipan mo talaga hindi kung ano lang madampot mo or recycled gift, im sure your bf will be happy too, that hitting 2 birds w/ 1 stone... :-)

[ettevyvi]

Mga sis, what should i do so that his mom would like me? Hindi kasi ako yung klaseng tao magilig magpa close2 agad, ganun kasi yung ex nya eh dakilang plastikada.

Hindi ka kailangang magustuhan totally ng family nya. What they need to know is that you love their son so much at di mo pababayaan ang anak nila. Okay relationship but not that close.

[cinammon_swirl]

Mga sis, what should i do so that his mom would like me? Hindi kasi ako yung klaseng tao magilig magpa close2 agad, ganun kasi yung ex nya eh dakilang plastikada.
 

- sis nakakarelate ako. 1 year na kami ni bf and medyo distant pa din saken ang mom nya. Super like nya pa rin si ex, pano ba naman 10 years sila ng bf ko. Nung umuwi si ex last month from abroad, nakasalubong namin ni bf ang mom at ex nya na magkasama. Bitbit pa ni mother ang bag ng ex nya papunta sa house nila. But I tried to be civil, super smile ako sa kanila though si ex nya todo yuko at si mom nya dinuro pa si bf. Oh diba? After non, kinausap ko si bf. Sabi ko ibang usapan na yung ganun. What he did was talk to his mom and said na huwag naman daw ganon kase nasasaktan din ako. Ngayon I can say naman ok kami (I don't know if plastic si mother) pero kapag pumupunta ako kina bf, kinakamusta ko sila, nakikipagkuwentuhan. Pero I can still feel the gap. Mas close ko pa nga ang aunties ni bf kesa kanya.

[byutijunkie]

i just don't understand why your bf had to tell you that.  for me, it was off.  he could've just kept it to himself because i don't see how it would help your relationship with him except make you insecure.  plus the reason given by your bf's mom was cheap, sorry ha, but liking some girl for your son just because she gives you food is just that.  if i were you, i'd ask my bf why he had to tell me that and work it out from there.  hindi mo mapipilit ang isang tao to like you, kesehodang buong goldilocks ang ipasalubong mo sa kanila every day.  i think it's better not to be liked for who i am than liked just because i give good gifts. 

[janix athena]

My first reaction too was that the mom was cheap. Para sa pagkain lang? hehe. But, I remembered the book I read about the 5 Love Languages: Quality Time, Touch, Gifts, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation. Pwedeng si mother ay makuha through her love language na quality time (Kasi si ex ay laging nagvi-visit) and gifts (thru little pasalubongs). Little lang sis ha? I won't go over the top na mega gastos just to please her.

I-balance mo lang sis. Make an effort but at the same time be true and sincere in your actions.

[MrsLuluyz]

my partner's mom has no amor with me either. because she wants her bff's apo to be my partner's gf. Pero ano magagawa nila, ako ang mahal ni partner at me bf na for 5 yrs na yung girl.

sa totoo lang, lahat ng "Serious" gf ng ex ko na napakilala eh, ayaw sa kanila. although i was introduced to the family when we first got together when we were teens, di ko naman sila totally nakilala. it was just now, 6 years after na nagkabalikan kami (we're back na for 2 years) ko nakikilala talaga at sila nakikilala ako.

even so, i still call her nanay as i call the father, tatay. my father in law is very much mabaet esp nun unang sabak ko sa family nila, bday ni nanay at binyag ng pamangkin. pinakilala ako sa relatives na nandun. the ates are so nice to me, dati nahihiya pa ako, now parang kapatid ko na talaga sila, ang wala lang ako "relationship" eh sa kuya kasi nasa ibang bansa. the nieces are really dear to me. always nakadikit sa akin esp yung 6year old. yung mom ng mga bata ang nag initiate na tawagin akong tita,kahit di pa kami kasal. extended family added me in fb, even calls me cous.

in short, if ganun sila sayo, hayaan mo lang, kasi if kayo nagkatuluyan, at nakita nila kung gano niy kamahal ang isat isa, wala sila magagawa kundi tanggapin kayo. eventually time will come na mamahalin ka din nila like their own.

right now, nagmamano ako pagdumadating ako or umaalis, pero she'd never speak to me. nun bday niya nun dinalan ko siya ng bouquet of roses, kasi i believe she hasnt received one in ages, she'd feel special, nag thank you naman siya. when i bring merienda (usually kasi ganun time ako pumupunta sa kanila), inaalok ko sya, di sya kumakain. but you know im never losing hope. aayos din lahat

advice ko lang, wag mo "levelan" yung nagagawa nun isa. Just be yourself, yung ang dapat nila matanggap, hindi yung dahil kaya mo sila bigyan ng kung ano ano. give what you can give, mas galing sa puso yun. spend time, talk to them, kahit wala yung bf mo, reach out. one day, mamahalin ka din nun, just have faith. i have.

[dumpee.o13]

^ @sis gamay, i agree w/ most of them. you'll just need to make extra efforts for the mom. and prove to her that you deserve her son, that you'll take care of him. mga ganong assurance. w/ my recent EX, i had no issues with his immediate family esp w/ his mom. i fact, when his son & i broke up, sakanya pa ako naglabas ng sama ng loob ko. at dun ko narinig lahat ng magagandang salitang pwedeng marinig ng isang babae sa in-laws nya. bet na bet ako ng mom nya, compared sa mga gf's ng mga kuya nya kase nakikita daw nya na inaalagaan ko and mahal ko yung anak nya. she's really nanghihinayang talaga samen. till now, we're still in very good terms. i still call her "mama" and she calls me "anak," even though mag-5 months na kameng break ng anak nya. ganun kame ka-close pa din. even sa mga relatives nya, open ako. pero meron syang tita before, na pinagsabihan ako kasi yun yung nagpapaaral sakanya. so nung unang punta ko dun, mejo nasermunan kame. then he has this tito naman na sinermunan din kame when i slept over sa house ni bf (wake ng dad ni bf nun). ayun, eventually naging okay naman ako sakanila. in 4 yrs, sobrang smooth ng relationship ko sa fam nya and vice versa. so sad lang that we ended like that. kaya i'm sure, her current gf will have challenges talaga when it comes to winning his fam. it takes a lot of efforts sis. pero di naman to the point na pilit na and your being plastic about it. love his fam and everything will follow. goodluck!

[ettevyvi]

^ good for you sis. Kasi ako [textspeak!] nanay nya parang okay lang na niloko ako ng anak nya. Ang chummy2 pa nila ng babaeng ipinalit nya? Oh well let bygones be bygones.

[dumpee.o13]

^ good for you sis. Kasi ako [textspeak!] nanay nya parang okay lang na niloko ako ng anak nya. Ang chummy2 pa nila ng babaeng ipinalit nya? Oh well let bygones be bygones.

^ yes. sobrang bait ng mom nya. sabi nga nya, nakikita daw kasi nya yung sarili nya saken when she was young. e kaso ayun, ang kati ng anak nya. hahaha! nung nag-usap nga kami, galit na galit sya dun sa girl kasi mang-aagaw daw. hehe' naku sis, echusera silang dalawa. and yes, let bygones be bygones. Ü

[justin3]

Waaaahahaha!

may real drama dito sa GT na similar sa story ni TS. kwento ni A at si D
^di ikaw yon dumpee ha? although ka-age mo rin si D who is 4yrs younger than A.

ikaw gamay ha? baka GTalker rin ang ex na yan at mag word war rin kayo dito.
haaayzt! ang swerte naman ng maniniyot (Bisayan term for photographer) na si Mr C, parehong magaganda kasi ang dalawang sisters natin eh.

anyway, ang payo ko sa yo gamay... dalasan mo ang pakipag-plastikan sa mommy ni bf. shower her with gifts, big or small. greet her thru texts everyday. pakipag-plastikan man ang tingin mo sa mga ganung gestures, but you bet, once naiba/gumanda ang pakikitungo nya sa yo dahil sa ginagawa mo sa kanya, nakows! baka mahiya o maiyak ka pa sa sarili mo.

OT: mga sissies! kilala nyo kung sino si A at si D? you want clues?

[dumpee.o13]

^ hindi naman talaga ako siguro yun kase di naman member ng GT yung ex ko. Hahaha! Di mahilig sa ganito yun. :p di ko magets yung real drama? Like kaninong story ba?

[justin3]

drama nga ng mga sis natin dito na si A at si D.

si A ang ex at si D naman ang current. ayun, nagpapatutsadahan ang dalawa as if hindi ko sila makilala.

[dumpee.o13]

drama nga ng mga sis natin dito na si A at si D.

si A ang ex at si D naman ang current. ayun, nagpapatutsadahan ang dalawa as if hindi ko sila makilala.

^ ay may ganun talaga? halaaa. kalowka! sana naman yung current ng ex ko e wala dito sa GT. haha! >

[dumpee.o13]

share ko lang mga sis, nagkachat kami sa fb ng mom ng ex-bf ko. she asked me if naka-move on nako. syempre sabi ko, hindi pa masyado kasi di naman biro yung pinagsamahan namin and i still believe na kami pa din in the future. and her reply was: "xenxa k n s anak ko n yan,kung puede nga lang n ang nanay ang pumili para s anak ikaw n yong ang pipiliin ko,sabagay malay mo nga kau nga mag ka soul mate dto lang anak para s iyo wag kang mahiya s akin kung ano ang maitulong ko sau kung kaya ko ibigay sau ibbigay ko." hayyy! i'm so touched, ang swerte ko sana sa byenan ko if ever! BS kasi yung ex ko e' amp! haha! infairness, those words made me cry.