Horror Guests

[Shadow Angel]

^kadalasan sa ganyan un utang ang handa or kung di man utang last na pera na nila pinanghanda pa. Pwede naman kasi magcelebrate ng simple lang.

Sa akin naman ok lang sa akin nagbibigay ako ng gift to let them na appreciate ko invitation nila lalo na kung bata ang bibigyan pero mag expect ng more than that or mamahaling regalo ibang usapan na.

[mysterioza_me]

Ako mas gusto ko magbigay ng cash kasi bahala na sila if ano bibilhin kadalasan kasi kapag regalo nagdodoble natatanggap nila. Pero di dapat nageexpect ang host/celebrant na makakabawi ng gastos. Saka yung kukumbidahin ka or gagawin lang ninang kasi alam na may ipapakimkim ka. Di talaga ako umaattend.

[hushush]

Timing tong thread na to lalo na ngayon summer maraming celebrations like reunions or wedding annivs, bdays, graduations..
Medyo guilty ako sa balot attitude haha! Pero nagbabalot lang ako pag traditional home setting ang party. Minsan nagjojoke ako sa mga friend ko ng napupuntahan ko ng party na magbabalot ako pero hindi naman talaga lalo na kung tipong limited lang talaga ang food. Pag nakikita ko lang talaga na may excess food at aalisin na ng crew  sa buffet table kasi wala nang kumukuha e saka lang ako hahabol at kukuha hehe. 😀

Next week kami naman ang magpapa-party, walang dapat iexpect dahil mcdonald's lang naman yun. Very limited lang din ang invited, 35pax lang kasama na mga bata. yung mga piling kaklase na willing magcelebrate with us. Gustuhin ko man invite yung ibang kaklase nila ang worry ko for sure may sariling plan din sila after ng recognition day.. Iniwasan ko imbitahin yun mga kapitbahay na tipong "package deal" na 4-5 ang anak tapos possible pa na magbitbit ng pinsan na bata din. E di syempre pati yung tita or yung nanay nun pinsan isasama hehe..
Atsaka yung mga hindi sure na aattend na ayaw magsabi kung oo o hinde, o kaya mag-oo pero di mo naman makitaan ng sincerity. Makikita mo naman kung talagang sincere na pupunta kasi magtatanong at magtatanong kung pano pumunta. Pero yung "oo" lang na tunog-drowing, di ko pag-aaksayahan ng oras yan hehe..mga ininvite ko yun mga nakakalaro ng mga anak ko saka tipong willing kumain ng chicken at rice sa party..Mga bata naman ang dapat pasayahin sa games, prizes at giveaways. Minsan nga di naman nila kinakain yung food kahit saang party pa yan. Max's or Jollibee/Mcdo or catering.. more on games kasi talaga ang focus ng mga bata..Di din ako nag-eexpect ng gifts kasi indi naman bday party yun. Reward lang namin yun sa mga bata for a job well done... Siguro naman walang gatecrashers hehe. Kung meron man, madali lang umorder ng extrang chicken and rice meal..at kung may sumobra man, madali lang iuwi yun. Hehe.😀

[Shadow Angel]

I'm just wondering sino sa inyo ang guilty na ginagawang pamunas ng paa ang white towel?

Nainis ako sa asawa ng friend ng husband ko nag overnight kasi sila sa amin binigyan ko sila ng towels 1 big white towel, face towel then another green towel. Un bathroom kasi namin malapit sa master's bedroom nun naglalakad ako papunta sa room namin bumukas un pinto ng bathroom si girl tinatawag un anak nya dahil nakaharap sa akin un pinto nakita un white towel nasa sahig at inaapakan nya habang pinupunas nya un paa sa towel. Considering na mayroon naman rug pang tuyo ng paa sa bathroom. Medyo may pagkaburara pa naman si girl kasi never ko nakita malinis ang house nila everytime na pumupunta kami sa kanila. May anak sila 2 pero malaki na 13 and 9yrs old hindi rin sya nag wowork. Recentu lang sya nag part time. Buti na lang un towel na binigay ko di namin personal use na mag asawa pero binabad ko pa rin.

[mysterioza_me]

^Bf ko ganyan. Yung towel sa hotel after niya ipamunas ng katawan ipupunas niya sa paa. Ako ayaw ko. Maski sa bahay ayaw ko kasi may basahan na malinis para sa paa.

[Shadow Angel]

^Un na nga sis may basahan naman para dun and may extra towel pa na hindi white bakit di un ang ginamit. Husband ko tuloy nanghingi ng pasensya kasi bisita nya un.

[jhez]

^And not to mention sis that you could've allotted those slots to someone else. I just really find it rude. There is nothing wrong with saying na hinde makakapunta, na-appreciate ko nga yung ganon kesa paasa. Ugaling Pinoy kase yang saving face na oo ng oo kahit ayaw naman or walang balak.

Korak. Kung iisipin mo P650/adult x 40seats nawala. Eh di wow. Isa pamilya 5pax eh 3kids 2 adults wala na. Sasabihin pupunta sabay di sisipot. Kaimbyerna kaya un mga ganyan guest.

[lalee888]

^^hi sis, in my opinion yes that's kind of an odd behavior since meron namang bath mat for the feet. However, in my opinion still, once you invite someone to your home, you welcome them and all their quirks without conditions. And the only expectation of a guest is that they don't cross the universal boundary of respect and personal space (like they won't search through your things or go to your private quarters).

If you hand them bath towels, however they use it, is really up to them. You can't dictate how a person will use something because that is a personal preference. What if in her own home she actually is accustomed to drying her feet using bath towels and not anything else? She's obviously gonna take that habit anywhere else in her life - house guesting, hotel-ing, etc. She won't impose you to do how she does, but you also can't expect her to do how you use things.

Don't sweat the small stuff -- perhaps, try not to set expectations of others because when we have expectations, that's when we get disappointed.

On the practical side, if that is a pet peeve of yours (and that's totally fine, - it's actually my pet peeve too), make sure you have dedicated guest towels in your home, and when traveling, just bring your own (because i can assure you in hotels people do all sorts of things with towels).

[lalee888]

Korak. Kung iisipin mo P650/adult x 40seats nawala. Eh di wow. Isa pamilya 5pax eh 3kids 2 adults wala na. Sasabihin pupunta sabay di sisipot. Kaimbyerna kaya un mga ganyan guest.

Also agree with this and the quoted message. Pinoys kasi don't know how to say yes or no -- because of "hiya" or humility (false humility)... A clear yes or no is much appreciated, and not a bad thing, to avoid impracticalities.

But I do like what was said in this thread too, if your invitees don't respect their commitment with you, don't invite them again next time. Move on.

[kvandenhaak]

Re: towels. I have a bath mat/rug specifically for that purpose. Pero etong si jowa, minsan pagkaling sa shower diretso lakad agad so wet ang footprints. I said it's unsafe at baka madulas ako because I have laminate floors. So hindi na ulit inulit. But when I go to hotels, I use their white towels as the rug because I have no choice.

[Shadow Angel]

@lalee I usually bring our own towels kapag may out of town trip kami except lang sa mga inlaws ko kasi we have our own things sa house ng inlaws ko.

Ang binigay ko towels sa kanila for visitors use talaga but stil I'm not comfortable na ginagawa basahan ang white towel.

Though we can't impose to our visitors what they going to do with the things what we lend them be mindful naman kahit papaano that they are not in their own house or own the things they we lend to them. So the weird stuff na ginagawa mo sa sarili bahay baka pwede hindi gawin sa ibang bahay.

[kvandenhaak]

^But how are you gonna deal with it though? You only have two choices, either tell them or just let it go.  Baka nga kasi hindi sila aware na ayaw mo ng ganon. Parang si jowa, ganon nga yun sa bahay nya pero sinabihan ko wag gawin pag nasa place ko. Problem solved.

[lalee888]

^^i feel you sis, and i sympathize with your point. I think i've just learned to let it go kasi nga, in their view they innocently don't see anything wrong with what they are doing and it's their preference to do things that way. You will see a few people here posted about other quirks of other people (yung isa, bf nya does that, another one the bf doesn't wipe his feet at all and walks around with wet feet -- it's more common than you think) -- these are personal habits and some people want to wipe their feet on a towel talaga eh. (i don't like that btw, ang sarap kaya ng plush bath rug sa paa!)

But, my preference is just mine, and someone else prefers to actually do that (use towels) and that is their preference. We are both "right" in our own belief system. You know what i mean? That person does not think they were disrespecting your towel when they did that. In their belief system, it's okay to do that.

I've just learned to let go of control over small stuff like that  rather than stress over it. After all, temporary guests lang sila and i don't even have to deal with them everyday. Now, if husband ko yan na everyday kasama ko, then we have to work it out. If he wants a towel for his feet, even if i don't agree with it, then siguro i will tell him to have a dedicated towel just for his feet, to respect his preference without encroaching on my preference (i don't want my bath towels used for his feet/on the floor). He stays on his lane, i stay on my lane, then the highway traffic is fine.

Anyway sis back to the point, maybe consider not lending white towels to house guests to avoid washing issues (if that's another concern)? Since nga you really can't control or see what/how your guests use towels.

Sorry sis ha. I'm NOT disagreeing with you, i am just trying to share perspective on HOW TO MANAGE AROUND it without hurting relationships : )

[Shadow Angel]

I let it go na lang mga sisses alam ko may next visit pa sila and overnight sa house kaya I need to buy extra colored towels. Although mga pinahiram ko naman sa kanila for visitors use lang.

They are welcome naman sa house they can use and eat anything sa kitchen or sa living mahilig magbasa ng books ang eldest kaya I give her some books pa nga.

[lalee888]

^Good luck sis, malay mo mag-iba ang habits nila... happy everyone! And you are a very gracious host kaya love nilang bumalik sayo diba?

[TysLolakins]

what about guests who don't take off their shoes inside your house?  I bet this is going to be a touchy subject here, LOL.  in my case,  since we don't have carpeting in the downstairs area where we receive guests and mat and rug in the foyer, ok lang to keep their shoes on, actually I prefer they keep their shoes on downstairs.  but the few instances that the guests may have to go upstairs, I would prefer they remove their shoes esp if they see me leaving my house slippers at the bottom side of the stairs where I have baskets meant specifically for that.
regarding the towels,  I would probably just burn the used ones so it won't bother me anymore that someone's foot fungus is still there.  LOL.  it's a joke ok. 


.

[lalee888]

tee hee! sis, funny though!

Great question -- my hubby and i are sensitive too shoes in our home, particularly because we live in NYC and the streets are dirty, grimy, etc.  We also realize that folks come from different practices at home, but somehow it seems that all our friends practice the same thing we do (to take shoes off at home) so it has not yet become an issue. We also do make it a point to tell our friends to please take off shoes and no one seems to have been offended, yet. I personally have an arsenal of socks ready to offer guests in case some are not comfortable baring their feet, or happen to be unprepared with funny socks (yes it has come up hehe).

This is gonna be weird but I usually take home the (UNUSED and SEALED of course) pack of disposable socks they give on flights -- so every time hubby and i fly, we get about 4 pairs total (2 in each flight direction). I offer those socks to guests in case.. and we've had a couple of takers, most people don't mind naman wearing their own socks or being barefooted around our home.

That's my quirk haha! Any tips or life hacks to manage this?

[kvandenhaak]

Wala pa naman akong naging bisita na ayaw magtanggal ng shoes. Parang dito it's automatic na. Yung mga 911 respondents lang ang hindi which I understand because time is of essence. Mag-iinarte pa ba naman ako? LOL! When I go to other people's place, I make sure that I take my shoes off. First, para makahinga naman ang paa ko. Second, kakahiya naman ata na my winter boots are muddy tapos ipapasok ko.

[Shadow Angel]

@lalee thanks
@tyslolakins lol 😂

About shoes di ko alam sa ibang lugar pero dito sa amin normal na tinatanggal ang shoes lalo na kapag winter during summer naman may mga bahay kami napupuntahan na nagbibigay ng shoes cover just in cass wala kang socks. So far no problem naman kami about sa ganyan bagay.

[jhez]

^^^naku sis parehas tayo ayaw ko ng sapatos sa loob ng bahay. Lalo na carpeted Apartment namin. California naman kami, pero syempre yun mga dumi ng pets baka natapakan di ba.

yun MIL ko sinita ako dati dahil sa ganito kong ugali. Ang sabi nya sa America daw hindi to inoobserve. Sakin naman madumi ang sapatos or tsinelas kahit saan mo tingnan. Panglabas yan eh.

Eto story: si BIL nagdala ng GF sa bahay namin sa Pinas (sa pinas pa kami nakatira) and share kami room upstairs. Si GF from work Havs daw kasi ang tsinelas, diretso sa kwarto. So pinasundan ko sa maid at sabi ko sa Maid paki kuha si tsinelas at ibaba at syempre madumi eh. Nagsumbong si BIL sa MIL ko at sinabihan ako MIL ko na maging maayos na host ako na parang ako ang mali.

Ginyera ko si husband. Kako respesto eh ako ang may ari ng bahay. LOL. Kaloka....