Didn't have a debut - depressed...

[sprinkledust]

Hi,

I'm looking for some advice.  I think one of my biggest regrets in life is that I never had an 18th birthday debut.  I really regret it.  I'm 28 now and I still think about it, how I wish I had a debut.  I get so depressed when I hear about others who have it. It makes me so sad and it's been so many years that I've been depressed about it.  I feel like I'm the only one in the world that never had a debut.

I don't know how to get over this depression.  I'm just sad all the time and feel so much regret.

If you have time please your advice.

Thank you.

[cherry*coke]

well, definitely you're not the only one.. hindi rin ako nagkaron ng debut party.. I'm 26 now.. simple gathering lang with family and nag treat lang ako ng friends.. but ok lang yun sakin.. hindi ko iniisip..

wala naman ako kasi bf that time.. ayoko naman problemahin pa kung sino magiging escort ko.. hehe... para sakin stress lang yun mga big parties eh.. ewan ko ..


don't ever feel like you're the only one who didnt have that sis...sa dami ng friends ko 4 lang yata yung nag party talaga..wala naman ako naririnig sa kanila na masama ang loob nila.. 

[freeswan]

dont worry sis, i had my debut but i barely remember it. in fact, i just remember i had mine when i read your post.

i even tried to remember the debuts that i attended way back pero parang wala ng impact yun as you grow old.
i am now 27 and when my cousins and i have reunions, we don't even talk about it. for me ha, debut is just a glammed up
party. iba siya as compared to weddings kasi weddings are meant to be remembered.

and besides, tapos na yun. depression won't help you. you can't do anything about it. unless gusto mo magdebut at  30.

[kiz_me1109]

I didnt have a debut party as well but it's ok. =)

Naghanda lang sila Papa nun sa house pero hindi siya yung typical debut party. Wala pa nga ako sa bahay nun because I was with my bf. hehe

No regrets naman... what I look forward since I was a little girl is to be a BRIDE. =) Which will happen next year. =)

[blackgreen]

Oo nga sis. Don't be sad. Ako rin dinner lang sa bahay tapos nag-invite lang ako ng mga friends ko. Hindi naman required mag-debut with matching cotillon pa.

Think of it this way, if you had your debut, will it change the person you are now? Oo, meron ka mashashare na kwento kapag debut pinaguusapan pero it will not matter anymore kasi sa age natin, i'm 26, mas importante kung ano na tayo ngayun. 18th birthday was just a part of our teenage life. Yes, it may bring you happiness but then your life is not dependent on it. Cheer up girl! Hindi ka nag-iisa, 4 na tayo dito oh! Tapos sa mga friends ko, 2 lang sila nag-debut pero mas madami kaming hindi. Eh di mas madami tayo!

[Superjoie]

wag ka malungkot sis, I have my debut pero di ko na rin masyado maalala nga. para ngaun, parang wala lang. kaya di ka dapat malungkot.

[whitelady17]

ako rin sis walang debut party before, and worst part is hindi alam ng dad ko / nakalimutan niyang birhtday ko ng araw na iyon. No food wala as in. I think nag mall ako mag isa noon before. Now looking back, those experiences made me a stronger person. It teaches me to strive harder.

Kung depress ka pa rin girl, throw your own party, on your 29th day, have a 29th roses etc, 

[mooncake and leaves]

Didn't have a debut either. I was determined not to have one. If my family gave me the choice to get absolutely nothing for my birthday or to have a party, I would still have chosen nothing. The idea of entertaining people and hearing their false sentiments about me was too depressing. If I wanted to pay good money to make me feel good about myself, I might as well just hire a stripper. Now that's a birthday. Nyaha.

Having said that, I can't really sympathize with you. To be honest, upon reading this, first thought that came to me was wow, girl has such huge problems Then again, I get how disappointing it is to want something and not get it. I'm also thinking that perhaps, there's an underlying reason for this regret. Maybe it's not necessarily this debut you're fretting over but something else.

Seriously though girl, snap out of it. If this is really such a big deal for you, you either do something about it (e.g. invent a time machine) or just forget about it. The latter's simpler and easier, no? Yun na lang.    

[mom_G]

sis, there are more girls who did not get to celebrate their debut than those who did.  i am one of them!  sobrang inggit ako sa mga classmates ko that time.  to make up for it, i made sure that my wedding was the grandest we could afford    hwag ka ng ma-sad.  if you're not married yet, then your wedding will be a much more important occasion to celebrate!

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

ako rin wala ring party nung nag18 ako. di talaga ako mahilig maghost ng party.

[hisana]

Ako rin wala. My dad gave me 50k though, so it was a really happy birthday 

[tabbru]

My parents are not into parties. Never nga nila kami pinag-party. Noong 18th bday ko, ni walang handaan o family dinner. After school, I bought my own cake sa Goldilocks yung roll lang ha) tapos pag-uwi ko, pinakain pa ng tatay ko sa mga employees namin. As in parang balewala. Ordinaryo lang kasi ang bday para sa kanila, no big deal. Kahit debut pa yan. They bought me a computer (76k pa noong 1997) and a car naman. Akala nila ok na yun.

I was so envious dun sa mga kaibigan ko na pinaghanda kahit papano. Wala naman akong friends na nagcotillon pa pero at least may handa sila. Ako wala talaga. So may konting bitterness. Di ko rin ma-overcome. After 4 years, nag-debut ang pinsan ko. Talagang super tumulong ako. I even bought her gown as a gift kasi nagwowork na ako. Tapos yung tatay ko, parang na-sad. Ang sabi sa akin: "bakit nga ba di ka nag-ganito?" Natawa na lang ako. As if fault ko. My parents are good people. Yun nga lang, simple lang talaga sila. Di nila talaga trip ang magarbong parties.

But just a few years after my debut, nakalimutan ko na rin. Hindi naman pala big deal, naisip ko. So move on na. Lalo na ngayon na I'm almost 32 na.

So sis sprinkledust, cheer up! You can have a fabulous party naman kahit na anong edad. Magparty ka na lang ng bonggang bongga sa next bday mo.

And yeah, there's always your wedding (I assume single ka pa kaya di ka makaget-over sa debut). I agree, mas special ang weddings. Mas maaalala. Mas may bearing.

And oh if there's any consolation for me, my fiance is giving me an uber nice wedding come January 2012! Ako ayoko ng magarbong kasal, siya lang ang may gusto. And one of his reasons is that hindi nga raw ako nag-debut. Kawawa naman daw ako, LOL! O tingnan mo na, may positive outcome ang di ko pagde-debut! hehe!

[Water and Wine]

It's never too late.  You can organize one now for your 30th.  =)  I never celebrated my parties in McDonalds as a kid, so on my 27th birthday I had a McDonalds party with mascots and games haha.  I even dressed up as a kid, all my guests too.  It was fun and it was a dream come true 

[electricpink17]

 . i too didn't have a debut because my mother was in a critical condition by then..  like what other sissies said, you are not the only one who didn't experience this. kaya sis, let it go. ikaw lang din ang magsu-suffer in the end if you continue to think this way....

[binggay]

Ako rin wala. My dad gave me 50k though, so it was a really happy birthday 

Hahaha! Pareho tayo sis, matalino tayo, pi-nera na lang natin!

Although I didn't have a debut as in debut talaga, medyo nagsalo-salo naman kami sa bahay, invited some friends and family over, madami-dami din namang pagkain. Then my parents gave me 30K as a gift kasi ayaw ko naman daw ng bonggang party. Way back 1999. I felt so rich then! Hahaha! =)

To the TS, wag ka ma-depress sis, ngayon nga parang mas marami gusto lumabas na lang with friends -- di na uso debut debut! Get over it! And plan something really huge for your 30th! A grand trip to US or Europe, maybe? =)

[wengerts]

bakit parang ang daming nadedepress at age 28? lol.

sis, don't be sad. hindi din naman lahat ng girls nag debut party eh. isipin mo na lang dinamayan din kita kasi ako i never had one though nagpunta kami HK for 3 days naman at nag shopping spree ako dun.

and tama si sis binggay, hindi na uso yun!

[hisana]

binggay, what's with the tongue?  May issue ka with my dad's gift to me?

If he gave me cash instead of a party, I see no reason to complain, much less get depressed over.

[newbeymum]

I remember i didnt have also a grand debut party. way back 1994 i just went out with my bestfriend and had dinner at Angelinos  at megamall wala na yun resto na yun ngayon.. But during my actual bday my closest aunties and uncles came to our house and with special gifts very touching then nag dine out lang kame wiht my parents..nakaka inggit talaga mag attend ng mga debut parties yun sa mga friends ko nga may mga cottilon pa sila at sa mga grand hotels pa. Before lagi sumasama loob ko kase bakit naman di ako pinag handaan ng parents ko ng grand party kaya i prayed so hard na sana maka experience naman ako ng nice wedding and God is really good He really listened.. I had a very bonggacious wedding naman kaya ok na rin... and sa mga friends and classmates ko nga pala na nag grand debut party sila pa pala yun nabuntis after the debut and most of them naman parang di naman nakasal ng maganda sa church kaya ok na rin yun nangyari sa akin.. hehe....

[binggay]

binggay, what's with the tongue?  May issue ka with my dad's gift to me?

If he gave me cash instead of a party, I see no reason to complain, much less get depressed over.

Putol yung post ko, asan yung tongue? Hindi ko nga makita.... Ang intro ko sa post ko ....

"Pareho tayo sis, matalino tayo, pi-nera na lang natin! "

Obviously, I have no issue with your dad giving you money because if you read MY post, my parents gave me money, too.

[sugardrop]

There are better things to look forward to, like what others have suggested (weddings, etc). If you can't move on, celebrate your birthday like how you would've wanted to back then, if that would help. After that, if you still feel depressed by then, it's not just about not having a debut a decade ago that's causing this depression.

Just like another sis here, sorry but I really cannot sympathize or even empathize because I find it hard to believe and comprehend that not having celebrated the 18th birthday could cause depression for such a long time. But get out of that depression while you still can. The earlier, the better.

P.S.
I didn't have the typical debut back then, that was by choice and had a fast food kiddie party instead. So you are definitely not alone, a lot of us here didn't have such a party..