Didn't have a debut - depressed...

[kirstenchelsea]

it's never too late to have a big bash even if it's 10 years overdue. do it na if it will make you really happy 

[airish_2]

Hindi rin ako nagdebut as far as i remember naghanda lang ng simple si mama then kami lang family walang bisita kasi may kasabay akong nagdebut nun then duon sila pumunta hehe.. lungkot no pero okay lang pwede ka pa rin naman magpaparty ng katulad sa debut kahit anong edad ka pa.

[sprinkledust]

Hi everyone. Thank you to each one of you who took the time to read and reply to the post.  It's still hard for me sometimes but when I read your responses it helps.

I know it's such a silly thing but for me, it's so hard...

Thanks again you guys.

[streetsmartgirl]

hi sis, ako din d nagkaron ng debut party. pero i didn't regret it. i had an option to have one pero i opted not to. kasi magastos sya at di ko keri ang preps. tsaka mahal ang tuition fee sa sa school ko ng college kaya na-guilty naman ako to ask a debut party pa sa parents ko. my parents just gave me some money to spend or buy anything i like.

3 girls kami ng siblings ko at ako lang talaga ang di nag-debut.pero i didn't feel any jealousy at all kasi kanya-kanyang gusto naman talaga yan. anyways, i'm really looking forward to my wedding day dahil dun ko na ibubuhos lahat ng kaartehan ko na dapat sa debut ko ginawa 

[sprinkledust]

Hey streetsmart girl,

I see you didn't have a debut too. But you seem to be okay with it, wish I was too. 

But you're right, we should look forward to a wedding someday and I like how you said "m really looking forward to my wedding day dahil dun ko na ibubuhos lahat ng kaartehan ko na dapat sa debut ko ginawa".

I'll try to keep thinking of your advice as well as everyone else's advice.

thanks!

[koalaa]

2 years ago, I supposed to have it. but my ex bf ruin it

[RiverSong]

Hindi rin ako nag party nung debut ko, tamang salo salo lang with friends and family. 

Talaga bang yung walang debut party ang cause ng depression/sadness mo sis? Baka naman meron mas malalim na dahilan and you fixated on that event kasi alam mo maraming nag party ng debut nila.

Pero kung yun talaga, sabi nga ng mga sis natin dito, throw yourself a birthday bash. Baka mas maganda na ngayon, you'll get better gifts 

[rae]

I'm 28 and I didn't want a party when I was 18. Mas nasstress ako maghost ng party and I wanted the day to pass by swiftly and no fuss. But I asked my dad to buy me manggang hilaw. I want to eat my favorite food on my bday.

Anyway, while I can't empathize with the cause of your depression. I empathize with how depression can make you feel.

Maybe you should ask yourself a deeper question. 'What is it that I unconsciously believe in that makes me feel this sad...?'

Kasi when I'm depressed and I ask myself that question, I realize the nonsense beliefs that make me feel that way and I try to shift to a different mindset.

If that doesn't work, isipin mo na lang, depression can make you UGLY. Debut = past. Being ugly = present.

[sprinkledust]

2 years ago, I supposed to have it. but my ex bf ruin it

Hi koalaa, i'm so sorry your b/f ruined your birthday. I hope you've had a better birthday since then!

[sprinkledust]

Hindi rin ako nag party nung debut ko, tamang salo salo lang with friends and family. 

Talaga bang yung walang debut party ang cause ng depression/sadness mo sis? Baka naman meron mas malalim na dahilan and you fixated on that event kasi alam mo maraming nag party ng debut nila.

Pero kung yun talaga, sabi nga ng mga sis natin dito, throw yourself a birthday bash. Baka mas maganda na ngayon, you'll get better gifts 

Thanks for your post RiverSong.  I wish I was like you and able to not get sad about it.

[sprinkledust]

I'm 28 and I didn't want a party when I was 18. Mas nasstress ako maghost ng party and I wanted the day to pass by swiftly and no fuss. But I asked my dad to buy me manggang hilaw. I want to eat my favorite food on my bday.

Anyway, while I can't empathize with the cause of your depression. I empathize with how depression can make you feel.

Maybe you should ask yourself a deeper question. 'What is it that I unconsciously believe in that makes me feel this sad...?'

Kasi when I'm depressed and I ask myself that question, I realize the nonsense beliefs that make me feel that way and I try to shift to a different mindset.

If that doesn't work, isipin mo na lang, depression can make you UGLY. Debut = past. Being ugly = present.

Thanks for your post Rae. I really appreciate it.  Ya I also like mangoes too! Yup you're right, I have to figure out why that is making me sad. It's so hard though...

[sprinkledust]

To all who have replied to this post so far, sorry I wasn't able to reply back to each of you.  I really appreciate all the time you guys took to reply and give your advice.

Thanks so much.

[rae]

I really hope you get better. Depression is such an unfortunate situation to be in. And it limits you to achieve greater things

If all else fails, shift perspective, think of how fortunate you are compared to those who doesn't have food to eat.

I didn't want to put that card on the table kasi parang we're basing our happiness at the misfortune of others...

Just count the things you're lucky to have now

[pandalicious]

wag mo na isipin yung debut mo sis, ako din di nag-debut, ayokong ma-stress sa pag-organize ng party at pag-estima ng bisita kaya bumili na lang ako ng PC. sa aming magpipinsan isa lang ang nag-debut. it's really no big deal. and i don't really know anyone who talks about their debut especially pag nasa 20's na, parang after teenage years hindi na big deal kung nag-debut ka o hindi.

[muahmuahmuah]

sa family rin namin debuts weren't much a big of a deal. my sissy had a really cheap debut na just like one mentioned nakalimutan pa ng dad ko na birthday niya of all times na we'd get yummy cakes ito yung first and only time he got a cake from a corner bakery ng village namin. we were just having fun kasi the cake was margarine filled at bumabagyo pa so am station pa yung available lang ayun sinayaw nalang sya ni papa. thats what made it memorable tho.

sa amin naman my twin didn't celebrate it with me and college enrollment ko that day my friends tuition ninakaw. so i invited the two friends for dinner with the family. habang mukhang happy lahat kaming tatlo nagbubulungan how to tell the friends mom about the lost tuition. so ang saya diba. di man namin malunok yung food at naenjoy sa kakaworry

parang the previous birthday celebrations  compensated for this di naman rin kami ma party. secured naman kasi kami sa love ng parents and they provided well so di kami nagdadamdam about parties or what nots easy going bunch lang din kami siguro.

now that you're 28 a lot older it's better to look forward to birthdays na kumpleto kayo na you get to celebrate it with your mom, dad and siblings if any, and relish on the coming days you can plan parties of your own with them.

kahit na may kaya kayo or hindi siguro give back nalang to the parents to fill up the missing piece of not having a grand debut and make a new and better memory for yourself. its   supposedly a coming of age celebration  eh not every one really does come of age at 18.  party till you drop ka nalang on your 29th and make it grand.

[sprinkledust]

I really hope you get better. Depression is such an unfortunate situation to be in. And it limits you to achieve greater things

If all else fails, shift perspective, think of how fortunate you are compared to those who doesn't have food to eat.

I didn't want to put that card on the table kasi parang we're basing our happiness at the misfortune of others...

Just count the things you're lucky to have now

Thanks so much Rae for taking the time to write.

[sprinkledust]

wag mo na isipin yung debut mo sis, ako din di nag-debut, ayokong ma-stress sa pag-organize ng party at pag-estima ng bisita kaya bumili na lang ako ng PC. sa aming magpipinsan isa lang ang nag-debut. it's really no big deal. and i don't really know anyone who talks about their debut especially pag nasa 20's na, parang after teenage years hindi na big deal kung nag-debut ka o hindi.

Hi pandalicious, thanks for your reply.  I'll try to remember all of your replies along with everyone here. It's hard but I'll try.

[sprinkledust]

sa family rin namin debuts weren't much a big of a deal. my sissy had a really cheap debut na just like one mentioned nakalimutan pa ng dad ko na birthday niya of all times na we'd get yummy cakes ito yung first and only time he got a cake from a corner bakery ng village namin. we were just having fun kasi the cake was margarine filled at bumabagyo pa so am station pa yung available lang ayun sinayaw nalang sya ni papa. thats what made it memorable tho.

sa amin naman my twin didn't celebrate it with me and college enrollment ko that day my friends tuition ninakaw. so i invited the two friends for dinner with the family. habang mukhang happy lahat kaming tatlo nagbubulungan how to tell the friends mom about the lost tuition. so ang saya diba. di man namin malunok yung food at naenjoy sa kakaworry

parang the previous birthday celebrations  compensated for this di naman rin kami ma party. secured naman kasi kami sa love ng parents and they provided well so di kami nagdadamdam about parties or what nots easy going bunch lang din kami siguro.

now that you're 28 a lot older it's better to look forward to birthdays na kumpleto kayo na you get to celebrate it with your mom, dad and siblings if any, and relish on the coming days you can plan parties of your own with them.

kahit na may kaya kayo or hindi siguro give back nalang to the parents to fill up the missing piece of not having a grand debut and make a new and better memory for yourself. its   supposedly a coming of age celebration  eh not every one really does come of age at 18.  party till you drop ka nalang on your 29th and make it grand.

Hi muahmuahmuah thanks for your kind words and advice.  I'm so sorry that those terrible things happened.  It's tough when you think these things but you reminded me that it's the simple things in life, like family that are important. Thanks so much. I'll try to remember your advice. God Bless.

[muahmuahmuah]

^don't feel sorry it wasn't really terrible  just like one said naalala ko lang rin because of the topic.  part of life yan eh and  part of the things we have to go through and learn from. just how you've been hanging on to a memory long ago na di naman talaga painful as most of us see it.  pero because you made the pain so real after all these years you started believing it and nurturing. if your parents din gave you a happy childhood relish on that too. there'll be moments in life na minsan  that's all you have left and own.  always think of the good times and never the bad. goodluck to you. kaya mo yan.

[sprinkledust]

^don't feel sorry it wasn't really terrible  just like one said naalala ko lang rin because of the topic.  part of life yan eh and  part of the things we have to go through and learn from. just how you've been hanging on to a memory long ago na di naman talaga painful as most of us see it.  pero because you made the pain so real after all these years you started believing it and nurturing. if your parents din gave you a happy childhood relish on that too. there'll be moments in life na minsan  that's all you have left and own.  always think of the good times and never the bad. goodluck to you. kaya mo yan.

Hi muahmuahmuah, you're right, I've been hanging to the memory for so long. I feel so guilty nga that I feel like this when others have worse problems.  But the pain is so real just like you said.  I wish I was as strong as you and the other girls here.