problems of our kids sa school (bullying etc..)

[barbieavril]

thanks sis slickchick  will try to write everything nga para wala ako ma-miss.

Actually, I would like to transfer her dun sa school where she is having her tutorial.  So far, ok naman kausap yung administrator dun at willing naman sya na accomodate yung daughter ko, plus mas malapit yung school sa house namin.  I'm just praying na maging ok na lahat.

[barbieavril]

sis msals2007 - exactly my point.  Syempre mga bata yan, kung ano tinatak mo sa isip nila at young age, yan ang dadalhin nila paglaki nila.

I am sacrificing nga na mag-work kahit gusto ko bantayan si daughter.  Pero nga dahil I want her to be in good school kaya I am helping hubby sa finances.  Kaya sana man lang diba, yung welfare ng mga bata di ma-neglect while they're in school.

[stormy]

Minsan pag masyadong maere ang bata reflection ng kung paano kumilos ang mga matatanda sa paligid nya, lalo na ang parents.

Sumulat ako sa class adviser ng daughter ko na ilipat sya ng upuan. Paano iniupo sya katabi nun classmate na lahat n yata ng katabi e binully na.

@7 yo rin yun classmate pero marunong na magsabi na mas ganito ang daddy nya etc. Atty raw ang daddy nya kaya sinagot ng daughter ko ng "so?" Ayun naghamon yun classmate ng away.

Nakapag-party sa blue leaf itong classmate na ito (kaya sigurado naman ako hindi nila problema ang pambili) pero laging nanghihingi at nanghihiram ng school supplies (paper, crayons, pencils, erasers etc). Kapag d mapahiram inaaway ang kaklase. Mahilig rin magsalita ng masasakit, bumulong ng "the guidance counselor is ugly".

Kahit open ako sa idea ng individual differences at aware ako na need rin mag-adjust ng anak ko sa iba't-ibang ugali ng mga tao e meron din talagang bata (at magulang) na wala yata sa hulog kung mag-isip at umasta.

Sana may concrete na policy ang mga schools regarding sa ganito.

[charmedwitch776]

haizt..4months and son don't have friends padin sa school nila and worst part napapansin ko me classmates sya na inaasar at tinutukso tukso sya pag hindi nakikita na andun ako pero once marealize nun mga batang babae that im there eh tumitigil na. Naawa ako sa anak ko kasi hindi na nga sya masyadong expose sa tao tapos now na nagschool sya magiging bad experience pa nya. this past couple of weeks me day ayaw nya pumasok sinasabi nya hindi daw sila friends ng classmate nya. pag tinatanong ko naman sya ayaw na sumagot sasabihin basta ayaw pumasok. lalo tuloy sya nagcave in

[Jewelshine]

Am really concern about bullying. Sana lang hindi ma experience ng anak ko. I read from somewhere na ang bullies talaga dapat ay responsibility ng mga teachers. Kasi sila ang dapat na nag-aalaga sa mga bata sa school.

[marose17]

^ As parents, we also have the responsibility to be pro-active.  I tell my children what to do in case they are bullied.  I tell them to tell the teacher or guidance counselor right away and to tell Mommy and Daddy when they go home.  I also remind them to tell off a classmate using a firm and loud voice so that other classmates will know that something bad is being done to them.  I do not advocate gantihan or doing to the bully what was done to them.  I tell them to befriend all their classmates, especially those who seem to have no friends (usually itong loner kids ang nagiging target ng bullies).  In this way, I am also developing their EQ.  Lastly, I also try to get to know most of my fellow parents.  We interact through FB or yahoogroups or SMS.  I believe that establishing good relations with co-parents will also minimize misunderstandings when "incidents" (bullying or even just plain rough play) occur.

[Jewelshine]

That is very good of you to share sis marose17. I will keep that in mind.

[miminibebe]

Naeexperience to ng anak ko.

Can't believe na even sa mga 4 year old meron ng bully, at kinakampihan pa ng mga kasama niyang yaya or bantay.

[imyourangel]

It's sad when parents attribute the bullying to the teachers alone!! We are doing our best na pigilan ang pambubully sa loob ng classroom, pero kung kunsitidor kayong mga magulang at mahilig mangspoil, aba mahirap ata remedyuhan yun. Ilang oras lang namin makakasama ang anak nyo sa classroom, the rest of the day kayo na. Mas malaki ang influence ninyong mga parents..

[sk8rboyswife]

not sure if this would be the right topic to put this. i was waiting for my son's dismissal time yesterday at his school (he's k2). then he came out with his teacher aid and she asked me about his classmate's tumbler na nailagay sa bag nya last week. that tumbler slipped off my mind and bigla ko na lang naalala when it was asked, isosoli na sana namin yun last week den kaso no classes preschool wednesday onwards. then this parent (mother) came and began saying with her loud voice na isoli na namin yung tumbler nung bata because hinahanap ng daddy nila and nagpapabili na lang ng bago yung classmate nyang yun which they won't do because the tumbler costs 500 pesos daw. i asked the teacher aid how'd the tumbler get into my son's bag and she told me it was him who placed it in baka akala nya sa kanya daw because it was similar to his tumbler. this parent still keeps on telling me to return it which I said yes na and i felt really humiliated. it's like she was telling me nangunguha ng gamit anak ko. sinabi ko to sa husband ko and he knows di naman ako lumalaban sa mga ganun so he would talk dun sa teacher and sa mother if he would see him pagkahatid sa school.

have you ever been embarassed by other parents from your child's school? how did you deal with it?

[twelvth_goddess]

^If I was in your position, I would calmly ask the other parent to calm down and not raise her voice, then I would explain and tell her that it was an oversight. If she's still aggressive despite my calm explanation, I would give her 500 pesos right there and then, and return the tumbler the following day.

[hunny_ally]

^^goes to show what type of person she is. Any concerns should be coursed thru the teacher. Return the tumbler with a cake/box of pastries and a note apologizing for the "emotional distress" your son put them thru over a misplaced water tumbler.

^if I were the mom, I'd too that too plus giving her extra php 500, in case the new tumbler gets lost.

[imyourangel]

^ As parents, we also have the responsibility to be pro-active.  I tell my children what to do in case they are bullied.  I tell them to tell the teacher or guidance counselor right away and to tell Mommy and Daddy when they go home.  I also remind them to tell off a classmate using a firm and loud voice so that other classmates will know that something bad is being done to them.  I do not advocate gantihan or doing to the bully what was done to them.  I tell them to befriend all their classmates, especially those who seem to have no friends (usually itong loner kids ang nagiging target ng bullies).  In this way, I am also developing their EQ.  Lastly, I also try to get to know most of my fellow parents.  We interact through FB or yahoogroups or SMS.  I believe that establishing good relations with co-parents will also minimize misunderstandings when "incidents" (bullying or even just plain rough play) occur.

I hope parents would have the same mindset as you do. It's hard to deal with kids who make "ganti" to their classmates if they experienced something they didn't like. Sometimes I ask my students why they hurt their classmate.. then they will answer me: "sabi kasi ni mommy pag nanginis daw suntukin ko daw eh"

[sk8rboyswife]

thank you sisters for the opinions. my husband was not able to meet this parent pagkahatid sa school. but then i was sent sa guidance office nung sinundo ko son ko and talked to their class adviser and guidance counselor. the teacher aid told them what happened and they apologized naman, na dapat kasi talaga yung teacher aid lang kakausap saken and she never expected na magtatatalak yung parent. I said I never want to make an issue out of it naman kasi it's just a tumbler pero it was returned na, di na tinanggap nung dad and lola daw nung bata (guidance counselor said they're chinese, which explains the attitude). pinadala pa rin ng class adviser sa student baka daw magbago isip. ayaw na rin nila makarating ito sa principal's office, according to them (guidance and adviser) humihingi rin daw ng sorry yung mother sa inasta nya and nagulat daw sya na nagawa nya yun. if ever daw na pinabayaran yung tumbler it would be the guidance and teacher's expense na lang daw dahil nga sa nangyari at wag na palakihin. my husband, sabi nya gusto daw nyang bumawi by monday daw pagkahatid sa son ko kase napahiya kame, bigyan pa daw nya 500.

[cherrhys]

^Hi, while I was also appalled by what the mom did and I agree sa ginawa mo even yung gusto ng husband mo na magbigay ng P500 just make them realized na sobrang OA ng reaction nila sa pagkawala ng tumbler lang, I hope you won't make a blanket statement about Chinese.  Wala po sa lahi yun, as you can probably surmise, I'm a full-blooded Chinese, kaya I can say with conviction that bad attitude or rudeness is not exclusive to just one (or our) race.

[twelvth_goddess]

^I agree with not generalizing Chinese. I felt quite offended cus my husband is Chinese and he's one of the calmest people I know. Even my father in law is vey diplomatic and polite.

[sk8rboyswife]

Sisters, sorry sa mga na offend, it was jot actually me who said it. It was the guidance counselor about the chinese kaya daw iba ang ugali. Sorry for any confusion. As for me wala naman saken kung chinese or kahit pinoy pa yung daddy and lola. Di ko lang nagustuhan yung inasta ng mother, it could have been resolved sana in a more calm and private manner.

[tinybubbles7]

Bullying na ba matatawag kung pinapalitan yung pangalan? Yung dau ko kasi 2 sunod na araw na nakasimangot pag uwi namin from School kasi yung 2 ka-service niya na Pre Kinder din kung ano ano tinatawag sa kanya. Di naman masakit pakinggan pero nalulungkot siya,ayaw daw niya makipag usap don sa dalawa. Kasundo naman niya yung mga yun kaya lang nitong huli parang naiba kasi. Minsan may sinasabi yung anak ko sasagutin na “hmp di naman eh” sabay tawahan sila, syempre yung makita mong ginaganon yung bata,paano pa kung sila-sila lang at di ko nakikita. Malayo yung upuan nila sa anak ko,lumayo nga sila eh. Tapos nung nakikisali yung anak ko usapan sa service di talaga siya kinakausap. Parang iiyak na tuloy anak ko. Kaya sabi ko okay lang yun. Pero kanina ganon na naman, ibang pangalan na naman ang tinatawag sa anak ko,kaya nung nasa bahay na kami malungkot na naman tuloy yung bata. Yung 2 bata na yun minsan sasabhin pa sa anak ko “hoy ___________- bakit inglisera ka?” “mag tagalog ka nga” . Yung anak ko marunong mag tagalog at english, sila naman di nag englush.. Di ko naman mapilit yung bata na kausapin ng tagalog dahil sa school nila english speaking talaga sila eh. Magkapitbahay sila kaya close..sabi tuloy ng asawa ko pinapag tripan daw anak namin.

Parang di ugali ng 4 years old, sa private school pa man din nag aaral. Kakainis tuloy ginagawang katatawahan anak ko.

[marose17]

^ Yes, what those kids are doing is a form of bullying.

It is unfortunate that there are children who thrive on putting other kids down due to some insecurities on their part (maybe, they're not as well-versed in English as your child, or they're not given enough attention at home, or they are just raised differently, etc.). 

Teach your daughter to stand up for herself.  As long as you guide her, she will be okay.

[KVsWahmmy]

Napansin ko din nagiging mas maaga na ang 'coming out' ng 'mean girls' ngayon. My daughter is now in Kinder2, and na-experience na din nya yung papaalisin ng upuan kasi si ganito yung gustong katabi, or hindi isasali sa game even if she asks nicely, or kung [textspeak!]-ano pa. She has so far survived this by 1. asking help from us, her parents. 2. guidance from teachers 3. she never stopped being nice to everyone - even those who bully her. The third was her initiative - tipong "Ayaw mong maki-friend sa kin? So what, I'm still going to try, and I'm still going to be nice to you" So yung mga batang dati e ino-OP sya, ngayon sya pa pinag-aagawan maging playmate. Everyone says hi to her when she comes in to a room, she now has like a set of friends na lagi nyang kasama, pero I always tell her, never let anyone feel unwanted. Yung mga tahimik na kids, I encourage her to talk to them when she can. Isali nya sa mga laro ganyan. May mga new students kasi sya na classmate this year.

Nakakagulat minsan yung words na nabibitawan and attitude na pinapakita ng mga bata - parang hindi 4-6 year olds. Isa lang naiisip kong dahilan - environment. Maaring naririnig nila sa bahay, tapos ginagaya nila, walang sumasaway. May ilang parents kasi, kahit nakikita na at naririnig na ganun ang bata 'nagtataray', di sinasaway kasi iniisip nila "Wow palaban ang anak ko." So si bata, iniisip nya ok lang kasi di naman sya sinasaway sa ginagawa or sinasabi nya. Sana maisip ng parents na iba ang assertive and can stand up for himself vs maldita or bully. Like yung mga batang nang-aagaw ng gamit ng iba or nangunguha ng gamit ng iba - bakit kaya nila ginagawa kahit meron naman sila non? Maaring sanay sila na they get everything they want, or they were taught to fight for something they want, no matter what. The latter ok lang naman, to a certain extent, pero kids also need to be taught the 'limits' to this.

Kahit nag-aaral na ang bata, napakalaking factor pa din ng sinasabi at paggabay na ginagawa ng magulang. Parents pa din ang number one authority figure, lalo na para sa mga preschoolers, so if we guide them ng tama, matututo silang makisalamuha ng mabuti at maayos sa iba.