problems of our kids sa school (bullying etc..)

[twelvth_goddess]

^I understand your feelings sis. Kung ako din yan hinde ako makakatulog jan at baka ma-tempt pa ko puntahan sila sa bahay nila. Let us know kung ano mangyayari sis ah.

[slickchick]

^^ sis lovely carrot, i can feel your inis sis, as i was also bullied when i was in the 2nd grade (to think na all-girls school pa ako nun). and during that time, kahit sinumbong ko sa teacher, parang walang action na ginagawa. sinumbong ko yung bully classmate ko sa mom and lola ko. one time when we had a field trip, i didn't know na sumunod pala ang lola ko. and habang nakatalikod yung class adviser namin, she secretly talked to the bully and threatened her na isusumbong sa principal at aabangan sa labas ng school if she continued to bully me. sa awa ng Diyos, natakot si bully at tinigilan ako. siguro kasi nakikita din nya na ang lola ko ang laging sumusundo sa akin, and my lola makes it a point to give her that scary look everytime na nagpapang-abot kami sa gate..

on your daughter sis, perhaps you can request a dialogue between the bully's parents together with the homeroom adviser or the head teacher (kung mukhang walang silbi or walang magawa si homeroom adviser). as a parent who's paying, your daughter has every right to be given the right treatment, kesehodang anak pa ng principal or directress yung bully. teach your daughter to answer her back din. minsan kasi kapag nakikita ng bully na tumatahimik lang yun bata, lalo nila inaasar. so teach your daughter to answer her back (wag naman sapakin or suntukin ah), kahit simpleng "isusumbong kita sa mommy ko ah..."..

[SOFIEMAE]

ano naman kaya masasabi nyo sis sa reklamo ko sa school ng dau ko.

as in sa loob ng classroom sis? ok lang siya hehe... ano na ang update sa concern mo?
tapos naka tablet pa siya e ang mga bata makakita lang ng tablet nakiki usyoso din at malamang before class or during recess si daughter niya nagamit for sure

ako naman sis K1 si bunso as in first time to go to school, may mga classmates ang anak ko na ayaw rin nagpapaiwan sa classroom so the teacher allowed naman the parents to stay sa labas ng door kaso naman hello, anong month na maraming parents ang nandun dahil iyakin ang mga anak, hindi lang makita mom or dad nila... hanggang isang araw si son ko nainggit, why daw yung mga parents ng classmates niya can stay at ako hindi ko siya sinasamahan lagi... knowing my son is very independent at hindi iyakin... tapos nakikita pa niya pag recess time the parents assisted his classmates... parang nagkaroon ng ingit yung anak ko... until pati si son ko naging iyakin na rin ayaw pumasok ng hindi ako kasma sa service going to school at ayaw ng rin magpaiwan e working mom ako kaya bago ako makaalis mahabang utuan pa bago ko siya maiwan... naaawa tuloy ako sa anak ko pag parang iiyak na siya pati ako nalulungkot na iwan siya kaya ginawa ko i talked to the principal and explain my side... hindi naman porket nag iiyak mga anak nila e pwede na ang ganun... syempre kailangan din turuan ang kids mapag isa hindi naman whole day just for 3 hrs at hindi maka istorbo sa klase ang mga parents... kaya ayun nag labas ng memo si principal na off limits na ang parents near the classroom, dun sila mag antay sa waiting area at may assistant naman si teacher pag recess time kung may needs ang students niya... so far so good naman pati si son ko okey na ulit...

[RuChe]

Me tip ka na sis guilleanne. Gayahin mo si sis SOFIEMAE. Ireklamo mo din sa school. Kakairita naman yang mga ganyan.

@lovely_carrot, I feel for you sis. Daughter mo lang ba ang nibu-bully nung kid na yun. Try mo din kaya magtanong tanong sa ibang parents kung me cases din ba silang ganyan sa kids nila. And you can all talk to the principal. There's power in number.

[guilleanne]

yesterday lang pinalabas yung daddy kasi last week puro practise for nutrition month.


and yes sa director/owner ako mismo nagreklamo.


umiyak saglit yung bata pero pumayag naman magpaiwan, yun nga hinala namin, kaya ayaw lumabas ng daddy kasi aircon sa loob. pissed off sya nung nasa labas, naiinitan plus bored.


bum malamang saka mukhang grandparents ang nagpapaaral e, bratt din yung daddy.


kanina absent sila, baka nagtatantrum yung daddy.

[guilleanne]

yesterday lang pinalabas yung daddy kasi last week puro practise for nutrition month.


and yes sa director/owner ako mismo nagreklamo.


umiyak saglit yung bata pero pumayag naman magpaiwan, yun nga hinala namin, kaya ayaw lumabas ng daddy kasi aircon sa loob. pissed off sya nung nasa labas, naiinitan plus bored.


bum malamang saka mukhang grandparents ang nagpapaaral e, bratt din yung daddy.


kanina absent sila, baka nagtatantrum yung daddy.

[arron]

As a preschool teacher, I had and have bullies in my class, most of them have ADHD. Talking to the parents of the bullies was the first thing I did to address the bullying problem in the class. Next, set strict rules in the class, for instance, one consequence of bullying is isolation- no kids wants to play alone. Withdrawal of privileges also worked in my class - no play time and very very short snack time. Having bullies in the class is no easy task for a teacher, he/she needs the cooperation of the parents- both of the bully and the bullied.

[lovely_carrot]

update lang sa daughter ko na nabubully..

So i went there ng Friday afternoon to meet with the teacher and hopefully the bubully's mom. Lo and behold, wala si mother sa meeting. sabi ng co adviser, side ko lang daw muna ang pakikinggan before the bubully's side. I did not insist na kasi hindi mo talaga mapapalabas ang taong nagtatago di ba..

I made talak for 15 minutes, yung 2 adviser ayun kinig lang sila, may inputs here and there. Kesehodang marinig ako ng ibang tao sa office nila but I made it clear na hindi na yun pwdeng maulit at world war z na ang kasunod. sabi nila they will investigate and check the CCTV, for sure nakuhanan kasi meron nakatutok sa hallway.

I also told the adviser to have the bubully apologize to my daughter. I will also transfer her back sa A.M class para iwas na lang na maulit. Aba parang nag light up yung mata ng adviser, sabi nya "sige ma'am ilipat nyo na nga lang po, mas maigi.." sa isip isip nya problem solved!

Pagdating ng uwian, the very first news that my daughter gave me was nagsorry na si bubully sa kanya. I did not bother na to check for updates ng CCTV. Its enough that bubully apologized and said she won't do it again at least alam nya na mali sya.. bilib nga ang anak ko nung una ayaw na lumipat
sabi ko hindi pwede kasi its going to happen again and i don't want to give bubully a chance. besides mas okay ang mga kids sa A.M class so she'll have friends/playmates na.

So far, no more alibis na ayaw pumasok, etc, and we noticed na she's not as masungit compared to the time na nabubully sya. It really creates wonders if the parent/s stand up for their kid/s. I think she got her confidence back.

[SOFIEMAE]

^good news sis, atleast ok na ulit si daughter mo at yun ang mahalaga

[Nhetskii]

at nag tatablet lang sa loob ng classroom yung daddy at may baon din syang snacks nya. me and the other moms wonder kung dapat nag cocolor na rin sya at nag a-abc.

the dad pala is a young dad siguro nasa 19 to 21 lang siguro.

ano ba yan? bakit pinapayagan ng school yan? tinanong mo sana yung teacher, baka naman talagang naka enroll din yung daddy.... hahaha

[RuChe]

@Lovely_carrot, good job sis. It's nice to hear that you're both ok. Shempre super affected ka din as well as your daughter. It's good that you were able to put a stop on that.  Natawa lang ako sa bubully. Kala ko nung una typo lang.. tee hee!.

[twelvth_goddess]

Lovely_Carrot - Nice to hear that your child is ok at school now. Buti din kahit papano may values pa din yung bully to admit her mistake and apologize. I hope lang na talagang hinde na maulit.

[slickchick]

sis lovely_carrot, similar to what our other sis mentioned, i'm glad your daughter is ok now. pero it was also good that you've talked to the school teachers. sayang lang wala yung parents ni bubully. i think it was also good na ilipat mo na lang si daughter mo ng am class, even if nag-apologize na si bubully. it's a preventive measure na rin.

[aayeep]

Nag schoolbus yung son ko when he was in Prep..
And may nakakasabay syang grade 5 na bully.
As per my kid, the bully picks on him and a Grade 1 kid alternately
The Grade 5 calls them names.. and "Stupid" most of the time
I asked him "E what do you do  when he does that?" (pigil na pigil ang gigil ko)
He then told me "nothing, I just laugh back.. I told him to stop because he looks more stupid for telling Im stupid, because I'm not.. diba mommy?" (Goodjob anak!!)

I'm glad he can handle such situations..
Mahirap turuan ng lumaban, at hindi lumaban e
It is really important to instill security and confidence, hindi madaling mayuyurak ng bully ang kanilang character

[DV]

^Agree! Good job ka rin, mommy! 

My child had a similar experience during last summer's McDonald's Kiddie Crew program. One of the bigger boys was calling her stupid (I saw and heard that myself). Kahit gigil ako, I kept my distance and let her handle it herself. She just looked at him and ignored him and continued making her burger like it was nothing. During the graduation, nang hindi naisali sa paglalaro ng ibang kids itong si bully (dahil nobody wanted to play with him), he stayed in a corner and cried. Sa isip ko, pa-bully-bully ito, iyakin pala.

[slickchick]

mga sis, do you think yung parents nitong mga batang bully have no inclinations of what their kids are doing in school?

just last week, my son (who's currently in grade2) told me he has a classmate who keeps asking him for 5-10 pesos each day (parang nangongotong!). then the boy would threaten my son with words like "you will not be my friend if you don't give me 5 or 10 pesos". nung una, my son gave him 5 pesos. aba the next day, humingi na naman. eh since wala na money anak ko (dahil naibili na ng snack), so sinabi nya wala syang money. nagalit daw ang bully at yun nga ni-threaten daw sya. my son was not able to tell it to his class adviser, because the boy was from another section (pero same sila grade2).

naiinis lang ako, kasi at that age (around 7 or 8 yrs old), nakikita na yung "kotong potential" nung bully na yun. i mean, wala ba ginagawa yung parents ng mga batang yan to monitor the behavior of their kids?? i'm planning to talk to his class adviser one of these days, kasi hindi ko gusto na umabot na sa level ng pera yung pangbu-bully nung batang yun.

[marose17]

^ What is the protocol in your son's school? Follow it.  Or, if there is none, write a letter to your son's class adviser, copy the class adviser of the bully and the grade level coordinator/Disciplinary Committee head.   Incidents like the one your son has encountered should be formally reported to the school as soon as possible so that that school can do something about it.

Share ko lang:  in the school of my sons, they have a class called "Formation" (parang "Guidance" or homeroom class).  There, the Formation teacher (one of the guidance counselors) discusses to the class what to do in case a child gets bullied, threatened, or had something "bad" done to him by a classmate or schoolmate.  It is emphasized in the Formation class that should anything of the sort happen, the student must report the incident to the class adviser and his parents.  Also, during the orientation for parents, we were apprised of the protocol for bringing bullying incidents to the attention of the school authorities.  In addition, the guidance counselor also has friendly talks with the students every now and then to determine their well-being.

My point to this is that as parents, it is our duty to report bullying incidents in school or related to school (sa school bus, for example) to the proper authorities for appropriate action.  That is the first and crucial step to addressing the problem.

[slickchick]

^ thanks for your insights sis. i checked their school handbook and there's no clear cut procedure as to how to report the incident. nakalagay lang na bullying will not be tolerated. i'm planning to write a letter to their school adviser today, kasi medyo ibang level na kapag money ang involved (well.. as compared to threat words like "di ka namin isasali sa laro" or something like that).

[mayums]

my son also experienced being bullied. nung sa nursery sya, kinukuha yung mga things nya. now, at grade 1 (different school this time), anak pa daw ng teacher ang nambu-bully. one time, tinapon ang lunch food nya. then another day binasa/tinapunan daw ng water. di masyado clear with me since hindi nagsusumbing ang anak ko. it was only the classmates who report to my aunt (naghahatid/sundo sa anak ko) what's been happening.

di kasi palapatol yung anak ko sa mga nang-aaway sa kanya, kung meron man. di din sya nagsusumbong. i didn't confront him kasi baka lalong hindi mag-open up sa tita ko, knowing na makakarating sa akin yung mga nagyayari sa school.

my husband will talk to the teacher one of these days about it. sana lang maayos.

[anglerxangler]

Bullying is the biggest problem in schools nowadays. It can forever scar a child or even cause the child to commit suicide.
It's the school and the teachers that should be blame for such rising incidents, because they don't take actions nor do they observe their students.

For this issue, let your kid train a bit of self-defense. But observe the nature of your child first before doing this, because you may not be aware that you're creating another bully who will step on the weak and easy targets.