Be your husband's mistress.

[guilleanne]

Narinig nyo na ba yun mga sis, na para raw hindi mag hanap ng iba ang asawa dapat ang wife din ang kabit?

Madalas ang nagpapangaral sakin nyan is yung step mother ko. Eh kasi naman kabit talaga sya kaya hindi rin sya credible sa ganyang payo! hehe.. kabit sya ng dad ko for 5 years before finally nag hiwalay na parents ko at sya na nga ang inasawa ng dad ko. 15 years na sila now, mas matagal na sa 13 years na pinagsama ng mom and dad ko as husband and wife, so baka nga meant for each other talaga sila. Galit ako sa kanya dati pero ngayon ok naman na relationship namin.

Si mom ko rin payo lagi sakin wag maging nagger, wag sakalin ang asawa, etc, pero coming from her na epic fail ang marriage, hindi din sya credible. hehe

So kayo mga sis ano ang point of view nyo sa "you have to be your husband's mistress?"

[aquacharly]

A relationship based on sex will not last -- per my darling Lola -- for me, she is the most credible person.  Her marriage was good and lasted forever, till my Lolo died.  BUT others whose marriages failed or who had messy lives before can be credible too -- nothing like learning from one's failures it's said.

So -  going back, yes be a mistress to your hubby -- but that will not be enough. You gotta be a Total Performer, lol.  Be the business  partner, BFF, wife, cook, advisor, finance manager, and all-around buddy: drinking, travel, golf, eating, etc etc.....ETC,  Lol.    Sometimes, you're his baby, or mom.  No one needs a mistress all the time, nor most of the time.  Plus, no one  can be everything to any 1 person. The objective is to be The One Person He Cannot Live Without For Long. So, that requires not just being a mistress.  Make him realize life with you is The Best - and he will be there, even when you want him to go walk-out na.    

[glamorosa_09]

Make him realize life with you is The Best - and he will be there, even when you want him to go walk-out na.    

Parang nakakaiyak to ha... he'll still be there kahit you want him out na... hihi ganyan si hubby...

anyways... Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho is a good read. It's about a prostitute's life. Novel fiction sya, pero may pinagbasehan yung story. And yes, as aquacharly said it's not always about sex. Dun sa book, there are times that all the heroine does is just listen to her clients about the pressures that they are facing. Kasi daw, there are some things that men cannot confide to their wives. So to be a mistress, have a listening ear without being judgmental.

Sometimes naman, the heroine acts like a mother, giving advice and shedding some light. Minsan naman, she acts just like a child, delighting on her customers.

During sex, this woman pretended to moan. Cause men feel very masculine when they are able to please and satisfy their woman. I'm not saying that women should always pretend to love the deed, just discover the position that will work best for both of you.

Credibility? That's Paulo Coelho.

[aquacharly]

^ That's all true.  I know of a very successful man, who is known to be a very good family man and husband... pero... he once told us, the next generation, that when a man is "down" or very anxious/fearful about his business/career... he will go talk to his mistress or a prostitute.  Why?  He does not want to worry his wife, and/or he does not want his wife to look at him as less than Superman.  Mahirap daw mag share ng insecurities with a wife.  lol

How is a wife to "cure" this?  When you both know of a man who is down on his luck, who bungled big-time or whatever... voice out your empathy for that man.  That way, your husband learns that there is life after wrong decisions, or a run of bad luck.   If a wife exudes understanding and love,  kesa mag snide remarks and purihin ibang successful men, or express envy coz other wives have better lives (daw ha, coz things are almost always not what they seem, remember that) --  he will always run to you for comfort and advise.

GLAMAROSA, that book says it all nga --  a wife needs to be a Total Performer.   lol 

[isha17]

^i think it's more about being open with each other. malakas din ang panghatak ng alaga.
Men will always seek for care. Be the one who he can laugh with, be silly with.. basta be all you can be for him.=)

[chrlxmyot]

^ i heard from the mouth of my male friend that " to be a good wife, you have to be your husband's mistress" DAW! sabi ko, "huh? talaga lang ahh!! so, ibig ba sabihin kaya may nambababae kasi hindi pa good enough ang wife nila para sa kanila?" and he said..."oo! may kulang or minsan boring na" DAW!

so siguro nga, we have to play the role of "every person" our guy wants us to be....that is, kung kaya natin....

pero IMO, i don't want to play the role of a mistress para maging good wife sa paningin ni hubby...dapat ipaalala kay hubby na " hellooo!!! ako ito, ang babae na pinakasalan mo at tinanggap mo ng buong puso..ibig sabihin, bago mo ko pinakasalan tanggap mo din kung ano ako...period!" 

[Periwinkle25]

i heard that advice from my college instructress..and i still remember her rationale..pag daw kasi late ang uwi ni mister, a wife nags and doubts him agad..while if he is late sa tagpuan nila ni mistress, the mistress would be so happy na salubungin sya, would ask kung kumain na ba and would be thankful that he is safe...another thing is yung wife minsan would think na "hubby loves me naman no matter how i look"..so ang tendency, hindi na nagpapaganda..while kabits always strive to look pleasing in the eyes of a man..Having heard this, yeah. I wouldn't mind being my hubby's mistress at the same time..

[honey_iya]

Re: Nagging,napagusapan namin ni husband 'yan. kasi sabi ko usually yun yung isang reason na sinasabi ng guy kaya siya nambabae kasi nagger yung wife. sabi ko,syempre sa umpisa hindi mag na-nag si mistress pero kapag magkasama na sa i-isang bubong lalabas din yung totoong ugali. sabi naman ng asawa ko,lahat daw ng babae nagger at naniniwala siya na it's true daw sa umpisa hindi mag na-nag yung mistress kasi lahat ng good sides yun ang ipapakita para lalong mahulog ang loob ng guy sa kanya. so sabi ko buti alam niya

[FayeP]

Hi!

Si husband po works as a cook sa isang canteen in malate.  un canteen nila, may katabing mga clubs ( 3 clubs na tabi tabi).  un mga GRO sa 3 clubs na un, sa kanila kumakain.  di naman sa pinipintasan ko un mga GRO kasi marami sa kanila mababait naman, per talagang makarinyo sila sa mga guys.  sa canteen nila husband, usually at night (2am kasi closing nila), 2 guys lang sina husband na nakaduty, sya at un kapatid ng may-ari...

one night after office, dinaanan ko si husband sa work nya, kasi halos magkalapit lang kami ng oras ng uwian, para sabay na kami.  nagkataon na may isang group ng mga GROs na kumakain at nakikipag biruan sa kanila.  I said to husband, "tol, ang sesexy pala ng mga kumakain dito" (we call each other "tol" eversince we met eh).  Tapos sabi ko, "baka pagpalit mo ko sa isa jan" pabiro lang naman hehe

nagsign language si husband ( eh di ako marunong makaintindi ng sign language eh) ang ibig pala sabihin, mas maganda ako sa mga yun, kahit ala me make-up at jeans lagi suot ko...ehhehe natuwa naman ako

so parang di din naman talaga applicable un be your husband's mistress to keep him, just be your best self...

[katrinac]

mga sis, pasensya na. na curious lang ako. getting married na kasi kami next year, and wala akong idea about this? paano nga ba maging husband's mistress? 

[realshaddy]

madami ako natutunan sa thread na to ah 

[simplyme28]

mga sis, pasensya na. na curious lang ako. getting married na kasi kami next year, and wala akong idea about this? paano nga ba maging husband's mistress? 

sis.. sa umpisa mahirap talaga.. pero eventually you will learned how to do it.. ;-)

[snowdust]

interesting naman tong topic na to.. tama yung sabi ni sis Periwinkle25, ganyan din advise ng mga male friends ko..dapat daw paminsan minsan eh maging mistress ng husband.  especially pag uwi ng husband, ang wife daw dapat mabango at presentable pa rin at di amoy bawang sa kakaluto 

[honey_iya]

mga sis, pasensya na. na curious lang ako. getting married na kasi kami next year, and wala akong idea about this? paano nga ba maging husband's mistress? 

Huwag mag nag,kapag late na umuwi or di magtext huwag se-sermunan,lambing ang isalubong. dapat laging attractive,at kapag magkausap hindi puro problema ang pagusapan.

Parang ang hirap gawin as a wife noh? Pero kahit gawin mo 'yan kung di ma-kuntento ang lalake eh wala din

[toinkz]

agree with sis honey...kung di makuntento ang lalaki wala din...
still tayo pinakasalan nila so may x factor tayo na wala sa iba, hopefully... lol!
nwei dis does work for us. i think being in LDR helps din kasi like mistress di kayo everyday magkikita so exciting.

as much as possible i take care of myself not because of him but because i want to look at the mirror and have the confidence to say na "sige ipagpalit mo ko, its your lost, not mine" hehe. very visual ang mga guys and ego boosting din for them to know that they're with someone presentable. not necessarily beautiful but with enough confidence to carry herself. 

and lastly i learn to be open and carefree during our intimate moments. we tend to frown on "promiscuous women" yet those are the ones who became mistresses. sabi nga nila yung "game" and i admit after 14 years of being together it could be routinary na unless you make it more surprising.
 
i admit "malandi" ako but only to my husband. yes...a husband's mistress

[katrinac]

hhhm - bakit kaya tayong mga babae ang need mag pa ka ganto? sila ba may ganyan ganyan din? tayo dapat lagi nag aayos, mag adjust? or feeling ko lang ba ito? based lang naman sa mga nababasa ko. hehe

[sunfire25]

I'm a little mixed here, yes, may point naman na we have to be mistresses sometimes.  Kaya lang kasi minsan, pag may mga responsibilities na like taking care of the kids, maitaining the home, budgeting, and pag may career ka pa, parang chore narin kasi ang maging mistress.  Dahil sa everyday stress, how would you still put a 'pretty face' to your hubby diba.  Dapat balance, yes, you prioritize your marriage, but at the same time, you also have to learn how to relax with each other, both with your highs and lows... There will be times na moody tayo, and our hubbies need to accept that too.  Give and take.  But i agree with nagging, hindi nga maganda yon. 

[rae]

I wonder if many men think about these stuff too--like 'how to keep my wife'?  I really wonder.

Anyway, a good book to read is 'His Needs, Her Needs'

I'm not married but I live with someone and this book is ver insightful.

[buchi]

hhhm - bakit kaya tayong mga babae ang need mag pa ka ganto? sila ba may ganyan ganyan din? tayo dapat lagi nag aayos, mag adjust? or feeling ko lang ba ito? based lang naman sa mga nababasa ko. hehe

haha oo nga i agree bakit napakadaya naman ng mundo. how come lagi nalang sila ang i-piplease? aba sobra na yan ah! haha
pero gagawin padin oh. hahaha

[rjaye_2000]

I like this thread! hehe! actually, nalaman ko to from my mom. lumaki akong nakikitang masaya sila ng dad ko at may pagkakataon din na nagkakaroon sila ng mga tampuhan. ganoon pa man napanatili pa rin nila na maayos ang relasyon nila dahil may pag-ibig at respeto sila sa isa't isa.

naalala ko tuloy advice ng mom ko sa pinsan ko na kinasal last year na walang perpektong pagsasama. dadaan at dadaan talaga sa mga pagsubok ang isang mag-asawa.