Author Topic: Madamot. (Read 32377 times)

sweet.trish · « **Reply #40 on:** June 24, 2011, 12:06:23 pm »

^^ sis ilang taon na yung bata? girl ba o boy?

it sounds like ayaw mo talaga syang makita/makasama kahit saglit lang.
you are justifying your own reasons why you dont want the kid to live with you. puro negative lang ang nakikita mo in case na tumira nga sya sa inyo. either quick vacation lang or permanently. siguro sis, hindi kadamutan, for me its more of an insecurity. takot kang magulo kayo pag dumating yung bata. normal lang naman yan, of course you have to protect your own family especially your kids. sa nakikita ko, parang ang tingin mo sa batang ito eh threat.
kung alam mo naman sa sarili mo na hindi mo talagang kayang makisama sa bata, might as well convince your husband na financial support na lang ang ibigay. mahirap nga yan kung pipilitin mo yung sarili mo tapos in the end pare-pareho lang kayong magsa-suffer. be honest na lang with your husband. i know naman ang iniisip mo lang eh ikakabuti ng family nyo.

shoutingwind · « **Reply #41 on:** June 24, 2011, 12:37:44 pm »

If ever you'll agree sa temporary set up -- vacation, make sure na malinaw sa asawa mo yung limits. Tell him bluntly na "ayoko makikita ng anak ko na mas pinapaburan mo yung isa. Ayoko na sa harap ng anak mo, kino kontra mo ako ...etc".
Just be honest. At least this way, pinagbigyan mo yung gusto nya.... nabigyan mo din ng chance yung bata at magandang example din yan sa anak mo...

Meron kasi ako kilala dati, may anak na lalaki sa una yung guy. Tapos sa harap ng (new) wife nya...sinasabi nya sa bata na "I love you more than anything in this world, ikaw lagi masusunod.... etc" --- Nakakapikon yun for the wife. Buti na lang yung bata lumaki pa din na in good terms dun sa asawa as in never naging brat. I guess talagang nag effort din yung wife na magkasundo sila nung unang anak.

sweet.trish · « **Reply #42 on:** June 24, 2011, 12:58:30 pm »

^ agree sis. dapat malinaw lahat.

sa ganyang set up, yung wife talaga yung talagang mag eeffort para maging maayos lahat. ang hirap yan for sure, kelangan ng love, understanding, patience and sacrifices.

kristind · « **Reply #43 on:** June 29, 2011, 03:29:57 am »

Sis, this is just my pov ah, it seems dahil sa naiisip mo na magkakaron ng possible conflicts or problem which is negative agad. You are not giving yourself a chance na makilala muna yung bata, mabigyan sya ng chance for good future ahead at makasama yung totoong father nya which is important sa buhay ng tao.

Naiintindihan ko yung situation mo but you may think of both the positive or negative scenarios ika nga. Wala pa naman yung bata so you can prepare yourself pa sa kung ano man ang mangyayari, gaya ng sabi ng mga sisses dito be practical pa din. Or di naman kaya try to communicate sa bata as early as now na wala pa yung bata diyan para atleast you'll get to know each other better. At para maestimate mo din sa sarili mo kung kaya ba talaga or hindi. Atleast you tried. Malay mo mabait na bata naman pala.

Pero iconsider din kung gusto talaga ng bata na pumunta diyan at walang problema sa nanay. It is not always na "sino bang tatanggi" di ba. May nanay din yung bata na pwedeng hindi pumayag or pwede ding pumayag para mapagbigyan yung ama or yung anak.

If everything turned out not so good, you can always suggest na magbakasyon muna uli yung bata sa nanay, bumalik sa Pinas.

Of course, hindi sya talaga madali pero your kids are lucky to have their father simula ipanganak sila unlike the kid. It's not the financial support that matters kundi yung kabuuan ng pagkatao nung bata. Give your husband a chance too, I know he'll be forever thankful.

Britney · « **Reply #44 on:** June 29, 2011, 08:07:27 pm »

Hi kristind,

Thanks for commenting. You have the same point of view of sweet.rish and my husband na rin. Sabi niya, bakit ko daw iniisip yung negative eh mabait naman daw yung anak niya. Ang naiisip niya positive kasi magkakalapit daw buong pamilya.
Ang akin lang, 50/50 chance ito eh. Hindi natin alam ang mangyayari tapos malayo pa yung bata...Well, hindi ko puwedeng i-risk ang family ko kasi kami kami na nga lang dito magkakagulo pa.
Well, siguro nga, negative lang ako...

Quote from: kristind on June 29, 2011, 03:29:57 am

Sis, this is just my pov ah, it seems dahil sa naiisip mo na magkakaron ng possible conflicts or problem which is negative agad. You are not giving yourself a chance na makilala muna yung bata, mabigyan sya ng chance for good future ahead at makasama yung totoong father nya which is important sa buhay ng tao.

sweet.trish · « **Reply #45 on:** June 29, 2011, 08:49:51 pm »

^baka nga sis.

ayokong rin naman sabihing walang mawawala kung ita-try mo sis, kasi hindi naman natin alam talaga what would happen next. and of course sino ba naman ang gustong i-risk ang family, ganun talaga tayong mga nanay and asawa.

ano na update sis?

Msfi · « **Reply #46 on:** June 29, 2011, 10:43:34 pm »

Tama na din siguro sis Britney yung naisip mo na pagbakasyunin muna dyan yung bata, para magkakila-kilala kayo and be able to assess kung paano nyo pakikisamahan ang isa't isa. At least pag vacation eh sandali lang. If you can do that several times before he really stays with you to study eh baka adjusted na kayong lahat. Mahirap din kasi yung di magkaka-kilala biglang magsama-sama. Kung sa first meeting nyo eh di naman magustuhan nung bata baka sya na rin yung umayaw sa pag study dyan.

Pero pag naging OK at naging close nyo yung bata, i'm sure your husband will love you more for doing that for him.

guilleanne · « **Reply #47 on:** July 01, 2011, 01:42:45 am »

talaga namang nakakatakot i risk ang pamilya, kaso feeling ko now pa lang yang issue na yan, hangang you don't fully accept na part na yung kid ng pamilya mo, pwedeng yang issue na yan ang susubok sa marriage mo.

Sa tingin ko lang the more na kontrahin mo si hubby, the more na he'll feel na kawawa naman yung anak nya and you ang kontrabida. But the more you support him, the more that you show you also care about his son, the more your hubby will love you and the more you have your grip on him.

dapat laging ikaw yung mabait, dapat laging ikaw yung giving, understanding and supportive, kasi pag yan ang tingin sayo ng asawa mo mas mapapaikot mo ang mga bagay sa kung ano ang gusto mong mangyari.

matagal pa naman pala mag cocollege yung bata, don't stress about it muna. Just say yes, maraming pang mangyayari along the way.

Dapat lagi kang ALAS, alam mo naman ang connection ng anak sa magulang, diba the bond to your child is stronger than the bond to your spouse. Knowing this, its your mission na mas maging stronger ang hawak mo sa asawa mo, that he'll favor you always.

Britney · « **Reply #48 on:** July 01, 2011, 11:55:20 am »

Hi sweet.trish,
OK naman kami na. Hindi na muna namin pinag-uusapan yang bagay na yan. Ang siste kasi, nasabi na ni husband sa bata. Siyempre itatanim na ng bata sa utak niya. Hindi na tayo makakakontra dun kahit kailan. Doon ako naiinis...Kung ooo lang ako ng ooo, tapos sa loob ko, hindi naman OK, siyempre lalabas pa rin ang natural ko pag andito na yung bata, eh di lalong naloko na...This is assuming papayag yung bata ha... Pero OK naman kami...

Quote from: sweet.trish on June 29, 2011, 08:49:51 pm

^baka nga sis.
ayokong rin naman sabihing walang mawawala kung ita-try mo sis, kasi hindi naman natin alam talaga what would happen next. and of course sino ba naman ang gustong i-risk ang family, ganun talaga tayong mga nanay and asawa.

ano na update sis?

Britney · « **Reply #49 on:** July 01, 2011, 12:02:21 pm »

Thanks guilleane for the advise. Remember ang premise ng kuwento ko, nag-alok na siya sa bata, sinabi na niya bago pa niya ako kausapin about it...So, nagdecide siya ng sarili niya, inassume niya na OK sa akin. Well matagal pa naman at malay natin, ayaw naman talaga ng bata. Ang akin lang, siguro ibang usapan kung yung bata mismo ang nag-request sa ama, parang kawawa naman. Eh eto, si hubby ang nag-alok without consulting me. High na high pa ata sa sarili na walang makakakontra sa lahat ng plano niya para sa bata at natutuwa na hindi pinagdamot ngayon ng nanay yung bata sa kanya.
About sa support support the husband right now, baka naman kakasupport support ko, lumalabas na OK sa kanya at lahat ng plano siyempre gagawin na lang niya na hindi ako kokontra kasi inassume na niya na OK lang lahat sa akin. So, marami na siyang maipapangako sa bata na hindi ko alam...Tapos bandang huli, ako rin ang lalabas na masama kung kokontra ako di ba...Wala rin akong lulugaran kundi sumunod na lang eh...Pag sakaling kasama na namin yung bata, siyempre hindi ka na makakontra kasi naipakita ko na noon pa na over support ako...

Quote from: guilleanne on July 01, 2011, 01:42:45 am

talaga namang nakakatakot i risk ang pamilya, kaso feeling ko now pa lang yang issue na yan, hangang you don't fully accept na part na yung kid ng pamilya mo, pwedeng yang issue na yan ang susubok sa marriage mo.
Sa tingin ko lang the more na kontrahin mo si hubby, the more na he'll feel na kawawa naman yung anak nya and you ang kontrabida. But the more you support him, the more that you show you also care about his son, the more your hubby will love you and the more you have your grip on him.
dapat laging ikaw yung mabait, dapat laging ikaw yung giving, understanding and supportive, kasi pag yan ang tingin sayo ng asawa mo mas mapapaikot mo ang mga bagay sa kung ano ang gusto mong mangyari.
matagal pa naman pala mag cocollege yung bata, don't stress about it muna. Just say yes, maraming pang mangyayari along the way.
Dapat lagi kang ALAS, alam mo naman ang connection ng anak sa magulang, diba the bond to your child is stronger than the bond to your spouse. Knowing this, its your mission na mas maging stronger ang hawak mo sa asawa mo, that he'll favor you always.

mommy ni kent · « **Reply #50 on:** July 17, 2011, 10:05:19 pm »

sis para sa akin, hindi yan pag daramot. kase sabi mo nga, ok naman na mag support yung hubby mo dun sa anak niya sa labas. at alam ko din yung nararamdaman mo kase pareho tayo ng sitwasyon. siguro yung iba, masasabi na madamot ka, kase hindi naman nila naranasan yun ganyan. ang sa akin kase sis, kaya ayaw ko na makasama yung anak ng hubby ko sa labas e kase natatakot ako para sa mararamdaman ng anak ko. kase bata yan,. kahit mapaliwanagan, e sanay pa naman siya na siya lang yung apple of the eye ng papa niya, tapos all of the sudden bigla na lang may kukuha ng atensyon ng papa niya. may pag kaseloso pa naman yun anak ko. ayaw ko mag karun ng ganun pakiramdam ang anak ko.

Ysabelli · « **Reply #51 on:** September 04, 2011, 10:46:40 pm »

Yes understandable ang "pagdadamot" mo but for me its more of concern for the welfare of your own family. Ang mali ni hubby he offered without consulting you, parang you see it as a betrayal and a sign of harder things to come. Talk to your hubby, pwede mo naman idistansya kamo ang private affairs mo duon sa kabilang pamilya without involving yourself. Sana man lang pinag meetingan nyo ang gagawin sa bata na ito kasi for sure conflict siya. If I were you I will make some ground rules and a stand that if things don't work out no matter how gracious you are to the kid (lets face it its not naman his fault diba if his parents made wrong choices) Basta always let your husband know your stand kasi nga men like to push the boundaries and see if they can get away with it.

I feel it was really a bad move for your husband not to consult with you first as in kasi you're his family now. Sana respeto lang sa iyo at sa anak nyo dba.

Have a talk with hubby and ilatag mo lahat ng cards mo, hindi naman niya pwede ipilit if talagang ayaw mo diba pero give it also a chance sis, it might work out naman for your part, I hope.

candy2084 · « **Reply #52 on:** October 01, 2011, 07:25:50 pm »

You are a grown woman, a wife and mother yet you try to downplay the existence of this child.
treat the child like you would on any other child,
of course--
with kindness and generosity.
Any other way of treating this innocent child is selfish and ignorant on your "part ".
It is natural to feel a little funny about the situation, but nothing changes the fact that this is just a "kid".

Remember, he didn't ask to be born, he's the innocent party in all this.

That kid deserves your kindness just as much as any other kid.

If it really bothers you, I suggest you either just grow up and get over it, or get some counseling.

Didn't you have a life before you had a husband? Well he had one too. You both had lives before your children came along.

This problem is in your head.

You are stuck on a rigid idea of "family." This child's existence is not his fault. You are in no way, shape, or form the second woman.
You are the wife. You're "The One." Men don't marry for no reason.
You are the one that he promised his future to and the one he wanted to raise a family with.
Now, hold your head up and be the good woman that he deserves. God forbid anything happens to him. What if you were to remarry one day? Would you want a man feeling that way about YOUR child or would it be different because the child is legit?

With this in mind, I think you have married a fine man, who in an effort to work things out with his life, acknowledged a child born out of wedlock as his own.
Being that your husband is such a fine man, I doubt that he would run out on his son just because he is no longer with his mother. It seems that your husband sees parenting in the bigger sense, as a lifetime commitment, and takes that responsibility seriously. I can certainly understand why you chose to marry him.

Your husband came as a package deal with one child. lol

do what ever it takes to get over this problem and welcome this poor child into your family.

"after all it's only on his "college" time being as you say"

Britney · « **Reply #53 on:** October 11, 2011, 07:54:19 pm »

candy2084,
Thanks for commenting. I agree with you 100%. It might need sometime for me to get over with this feeling. Just take note that it may just "college time" but remember the kid will be staying with us overseas. Kung magkaroon man ng issue, hindi madaling ibalik sa Pinas yung bata ng ganun ganun na lang. Magastos ata yun...

candy2084 · « **Reply #54 on:** October 12, 2011, 12:34:57 pm »

hello!
take one step at a time sistah and you'll do just fine..
give that poor little boy a chance huh?...!
and hoolah stop worrying yourself with this "issues" that not even occurring or will not even occur ..
the problem is only in your head
i repeat hehe...
just slowdown
and take a trip to spa honey your so stressed

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Author Topic: Madamot. (Read 32377 times)

sweet.trish

shoutingwind

sweet.trish

kristind

Britney

sweet.trish

Msfi

guilleanne

Britney

Britney

mommy ni kent

Ysabelli

candy2084

Britney

candy2084

carrieso

megansmomma

megansmomma

L.B.

aiden

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