Quarter Life Crisis

[darkjuliet]

(okay, buhayin ko ulit yung thread lol)

I think I'm having the big QLC!  I'm turning 26 in a few months and re-evaluating my life, I feel like I haven't done enough. In fact, I feel like I've done only 25% of what I'm really capable of doing.
I have a decent-paying job and live on my own, with very small savings in the bank. I'm also in a two-year relationship, a happy one naman. Pero I know may kulang. Hindi ako fulfilled sa trabaho and I feel like I'm not excelling at it. Money-wise, I feel so way behind kasi I started saving up just recently lang. Urgh. I even want to go back to school just to re-fuel the 19-year-old hopeful spirit in me.

An aside: I feel so guilty kasi when my former roommate was having her QLC, I thought sobrang burgis naman ng problema n'ya. Lol. But yeah, it happens whether you are poor or not.

Any other tips from those who have been there and done that? Thanks, ladies!

[yannuh]

am i weird for not having this? turning 28 this december pero wala ata akong naramdamang ganito?

[bomfalleralla]

am i weird for not having this? turning 28 this december pero wala ata akong naramdamang ganito?

I don't think so. I think a lot of girls (guys too, but most of the people I know who go through this are girls) get used to the constant momentum in their lives. Yung from the moment you start school, may constant feeling of progress from level to level. Pagkatapos ng college and then work, it becomes less simple. You have to make your own opportunities and you don't automatically progress to the next level. There's the feeling of being stuck. If you've been living your life without hurting others and you're relatively happy and content, there's nothing wrong at all.

[milafernz]

ako nga rin e parang nag QLC na kasi sobrang depressed na talaga ako sa trabaho ko e. i need to change some of my ways. or career shift maybe

[darkjuliet]

Hugs, sis  Ganyang ganyan din feels ko ngayon. Hay, life.

[jtansanco]

(okay, buhayin ko ulit yung thread lol)

I think I'm having the big QLC!  I'm turning 26 in a few months and re-evaluating my life, I feel like I haven't done enough. In fact, I feel like I've done only 25% of what I'm really capable of doing.
I have a decent-paying job and live on my own, with very small savings in the bank. I'm also in a two-year relationship, a happy one naman. Pero I know may kulang. Hindi ako fulfilled sa trabaho and I feel like I'm not excelling at it. Money-wise, I feel so way behind kasi I started saving up just recently lang. Urgh. I even want to go back to school just to re-fuel the 19-year-old hopeful spirit in me.

An aside: I feel so guilty kasi when my former roommate was having her QLC, I thought sobrang burgis naman ng problema n'ya. Lol. But yeah, it happens whether you are poor or not.

Any other tips from those who have been there and done that? Thanks, ladies!

Honestly, you don't have a big problem. The issue with you is you compare yourself with others (just like me and a lot of people) and that's the reason you feel that you have QLC.

You live alone - not a lot of people can do that.
You have a job that pays well - a lot of people are underpaid.
Very little savings? - almost 50% of Americans don't have savings and live from paycheck-to-paycheck.
You are in a happy relationship - a lot of people are miserably with their love life (or lack of it).

If job is the problem, apply somewhere else where you think you will be happier. Since you spend 8 hours a day working, you better find something where you will enjoy what you'll be doing.

Lastly, appreciate the blessings that you have rather than comparing yourself to others.

Think about it this way. Let's say you have P1,000,000 in savings? What's next? Buy a new car? Buy lots of new clothes? The "wants" in life are endless. Be contented and satisfied with what you have and you'll get out of QLC. 

[darkjuliet]

@jtansanco awww thanks for the encouragement. I realize this is all in the mind. I actually uninstalled IG and FB on my phone lol.

[jtansanco]

^ Yeah, my FB wall was the main reason why I was not satisfied with life. When you see friends having "great" photos of their experiences or whatever, you become jealous and begin to think lowly of yourself. But that's a good start; disconnect with social media and you'll feel more satisfied because you'll realize you're much luckier in life than you initially thought.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

With regards sa mga fb pagyayabang, iniisip ko na lang na i may be on the bottom part now with no earnings but eventually alam ko naman na i'll be better than them. I dont get why kailangang magpost ng magpost ng mga ganun. I kinda think na mej jeje na nga magpicture ng picture. I'm like damn people live and experience the moment! I'd rather be seeing something pretty using my own eyes and in real time than the minimized version through the lens of the camera. Ngayon nga i think a lot of people will go to beautiful places para makapagpicture and magpost ng sa fb. Kinda sad.

[jtansanco]

^ It doesn't have to be at a beautiful place. All they do is make sure the angle is right. Maybe this will make you feel better - http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/people-caught-taking-selfies-public 

Effort yung umiinom sa fountain. Haha!

[chinablue]

Agree with social media especially FB. I noticed that when I deactivated my FB for 1 1/2 months, I became much happier and at peace with myself. I had more time for things that truly matter. Kahit nagbalik-loob na ko sa FB, sobrang limited na lang yung time na I visit the site, mga two times a day na lang at sobrang saglit lang yun. I mainly open it to read messages on my inbox.

Hindi lahat ng nakikita natin sa FB eh totoo. At hindi din naman natin mafoforce ang mga FB friends natin na wag magpost o ilimit ang pagpopost for our sake. Sabi nga ng isang sikat na quote, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

^^ haha! yeah i dont get it why kailangan ipost sa fb lahat.

[eischied_21]

Agree on the FB part. I'm not active on FB for almost 5 years na to disconnect with my ex and hanggang sa nasanay na ako na wag magFB. I do have IG though but I don't follow friends. I was just using IG to get the ins/outs sa PH.

[appleberry9]

I'm not sure if I'm still part of the QLC coz I'm already in my 30s.  I still feel depressed every now and then and I feel like its really up to me whether I'll let myself fall in a depressive state or choose the other way which is to choose to be happy.  Sometimes I think its pms or because I have too much free time but sometimes its like no matter how much I try to be happy, I end up with thoughts about fear, lack accomplishments in life, not settled yet and way behind financially.  When it gets too much, I pray or I go hear mass.  It helps for me.  I also talk to my bf and we help each other out when these things happen.

[eischied_21]

^Hmm, sis I feel you. I think it's more of like we are not settled yet, we don't yet have a family of our own. Sa age naten sa tingin ko dapat may family na . Just my point of view. Don't think about it too much and magpaka busy ka sa ibang bagay.

[glamorosa_09]

^^Hmmm... kahit naman yata hawak mo na ang mundo you will still feel empty.

By the way I'm in my 30s na.

Sa totoo lang, I have everything I need and want. Wala na talaga akong mahihingi pa. I have a family of my own, my husband and I have a business, this year we're gonna put up an apartment business, I'm pursuing a master's degree. But despite these, I still have moments when I have bouts of emptiness. Parang may kulang. I'm not active in social media ha.

I just try to understand myself in a spiritual point of view. Maybe what they say is true: there's a void in our hearts that only God can fill. Try as you might to fill that space with accomplishments, material and relational things, it's never the same. Yes, you'll be thrilled when you achieved them. Pero panandalian lang. So for me they're not the answer. But that's how I make meaning of my own experience.

[cloh]

actualy im also having my qlc for almost 1 and a half year pero pahinto hinto. nag start yung nung nagresign ako sa job ko last april 2015. then after non, naging bum ako. napagod ako sa work, natrauma sa experiences sa office (something bad happened way back), tho nag freefreelance ako so kahit papano may income pero hindi stable tsaka wala din akong savings nakakahiya kasi im turning 28 and with support pa rin ng parents. nagkaroon ako ng work april this year kaya lang 1 month lang ako doon since nadissolve yung team namin. startup pa lang ang company and i think scam sila since they didnt offer any contract tho full time job kami by that time. grabe lang yung experience pero fighting pa rin. madami din akong narealize with my past mistakes  na ayoko na talaga maulit ulit.

hopefully malagpasan ko din tong trial na to, well, somehow nakakatulong ang pagbabasa ng self-help books and syempre ang prayer. Well good thing, naging blessing in disguise naman ang mga experiences ko before. Mas na acknowledge ko na si Lord and kelangan lang talagang mag-re asses sa sarili para di malost track. 

[boo.dha]

(okay, buhayin ko ulit yung thread lol)
Any other tips from those who have been there and done that? Thanks, ladies!

Use this to fuel your desire to achieve greater things without stepping on someone's toes (ex boss ..lol)

[grace.kelly]

I started experiencing this last year. Di na ako masaya sa work ko, everyday was a struggle. Ang dami ko iniisip. Pati mga pangarap ko when I was a kid naalala ko, even my passion and energy when I was in college. I felt so lost. Sobrang dasal ako kay God na tulungan ako dahil sobrang depressed na talaga ako. I don't know who I am or what I want, I was also indifferent with my workmates. Then 2 months ago I got laid off. I should be feeling sad but I was not. I felt relieved. Parang nakahinga na ako ulit ng maluwag and I've never felt more energized. It's like this is my moment na. Buti na lang nakapag-save ako ng money.

Some of my tips:
Take a break, something like a retreat to clear your mind. Pwede ka mag-sagada if you want. Brokenhearted ka naman sa life mo hehe.
Try and learn new things. Take up whatever it is you keep on postponing to do. For example matagal mo na gusto matuto magbake. Do it even if it's not about your career. Honestly, I tink this is oneof the reasons kaya tayo dumarating sa QLC. We stop learning. We stop being passionate.
Do the things you actually like. We always say kasi na we have no time na to do it.
Think of your dreams when you were still a kid or teenager. Malay mo yun pala ang true passion mo, you just forgot about it.
Volunteer. Do charity work. This is iust my point of view ha, sarili ko lang. Maybe I also feel empty because I was just trying to satisfy myself and my family.
If you still don't know what to do, read and search. Watch news or something that you don't usually watch. Just explore the world and learn from it.
I also keep on praying but I don't want to assume that all of us here are Catholics or believe in God,

2 months and I'm still jobless but I am already discovering new things. I am on my way to recovery. I don't feel depressed anymore. I just took up a new hobby that I said I will learn years ago. I already know what I want and where I want to be , I just have to figure out how to get there. Just not 100% sure yet because getting there is not easy and there are things in my life I have to give up. QLC is not easy at hindi lang siya kaartehan tulad ng iniisip ng iba. It is real. Kaso nga lang not everyone is equipped to get through it. Yung iba kailangan na lang nila magtiyaga. I'm lucky that I saved enough money and I have a family that is always there for me. So if you still can get through it, do it, ang hirap ng araw-araw hindi ka nanlulumo ka.

[blushberry]

I'm coping and doing well in terms of career, problem ko naman ngayon, personal life.  Hirap talagang maging content, happy and fulfilled.  I thought before that money is everything and that I can control things with money.