Will you keep loving someone who will never be yours?

[MatildaGrace]

I'm experiencing this right now. di ko lang sya crush i think love ko na sya. nakikipag-usap sya sa akin pero as friend lang talaga turing nya sa akin. nung una palang tinatago ko na love ko sya. sobrang sakit Iniyakan ko talaga ng ilang beses. kahit nung una palang na sinabi ko na gusto ko sya, pinaramdam nya na hanggang dun lang. taken na sya pero di ko alam kung bakit di parin naman nya pinuputol communication namin siguro dahil sa gusto nya lang talaga ako kausap. at ako rin naman parang di ko kayang i-let go, sobrang ang hirap, gusto ko syang pabayaan na kaso parang ayaw ko parin talaga. sobrang namimiss ko yung oras na magka-usap kami i make this person smile, laugh and happy. pero di ko maintindihan, sya nagpapasaya rin sa akin at sya din naman ang nagiging cause ng sadness ko. naconfess ko na sa kanya na love ko sya at alam nya pero ganun parin ayaw nyang maniwala sa akin. continue pa rin hanggang ngaun ang communication pero most of the time talaga ako yung laging nag-iintay, at nag-eeffort. sana nung una palang pinigil ko na. negative feelings talaga ang effect sa mood ko sa work or sa bahay. ako lang yung may gustong gusto pero walang love in return syempre, so, unaappreciated ako, except sa napapasaya ko sya, kahit anong effort ko hanggang dun lang talaga tingin nya sa akin. bata pa daw ako, which i really hate kapag inuulit nya, kahit di naman gaano kabata ako.



i did not plan to fall in love with her talaga, kusa nalang nadevelop sa akin. ngaun ako ang sobrang nahihirapan. gusto ko ng putulin pero kapag nararamdaman ko ng putulin biglang andyan naman sya bigla at bumabalik yung feelings ko sa kanya, she's so irresistible. dapat matuto akong mag-admire lang and not love kasi sa bandang huli ako din masasaktan.

pinilit kong itago na love ko na sya pero di ko kinaya sinabi ko rin sa kanya kasi nahihirapan ako. so ngaun ganito pa rin, engot pa rin ako sa kanya.

[pret_ty68]

^^
Sis Tin_Can it is obvious that this is a case of unrequited love. You told him that you love him several times and you get the same answer hindi pa ba sapat yun para matauhan ka na ayaw nya na maging kayo. Sis hindi ka na siguro mag re regret nang "what if " since you explicitly said to him your feelings several times and the answer is always the same. Nagkakaroon lang nang regret kapag hindi mo lahat nasabi o isang beses mo lang sinabi pero sa case mo di ba paulit ulit na.  Sabi nga "Love can't be forced" hindi mo sya pwedeng pilitin. Sabihin na natin na nasa grieving stage nga sya hanggang kailan ka maghihintay na maka pag move on sya and kung maka move on na nga sya sure ka ba na magiging kayo e sinabi na nga nya na ayaw na.

Kaya sis if you cannot save your heart at least save some of your pride.  Love yourself you deserve better than this. Malay mo rin pag iniwan mo sya he'll realize your worth pero kung hindi  nya ma realize "Let Go" hindi sya para sayo.

Ay sabi nya pala sa subsequent post mo he'll try willing ka ba maghintay pano kung kahit anong ka ka try nya wala kaya mo bang tanggapin willing ka bang magsayang nang panahon kakahintay kung kelan sya matatauhan kung willing ka mag pa ka martyr sige GO pero be prepared kasi walang kasiguraduhan ang papasukin mo.

[tin_can]

sis pret_ty68
hay sis, at this point, it's so easy to say yung "save your pride" thing but it's so different if ikaw yung dapat gumawa nung bagay na yan. Yes i know that love cant be forced. sinabi niya na rin sa akin yun. na di naman daw niya pwede pilitin sarili niya. i guess there's just this part of me hoping na in time he will. kasi two months palang naman kami nagdate and guys are difficult with their feelings and all that? ewan. umaasa pa rin ako dun.

and i know no matter how much he loves this dead ex, the point is, she's dead. at some point in time he'll need to just pick himself up and move on with his life. walang mangyayari sa kanyang holding on to someone dead. in my mind i'm thinking na he never moved on because no one really truly helped him do so? and maybe if andito ako i can show him that he can be happy again. i can distract him and make him move on from the dead ex. sabi ko nga sa kanya, maybe two years is a tad bit too early yet. not really because he haven't moved on in the last two years means he'll never move on. sabi niya hindi na daw niya naiisip yung ex niya when we started being exclusive. ako lang yung nagbring up. haay.

i want to see it through. ayoko ng kahit anong what if. na what if i stayed longer with him, what if i really rallied my points. what if eventually he'll move on. mga ganun. what if i really fought for us and what if i continued loving him. will anything else be different. and maybe i'm being stupid, honestly i know i am, but i love him and fine, may divested personal interest din ako about the matter, what if what he really needs is just someone who'll help him move on? if i leave then mas malaki yung probability na he wont move on di ba? i want him to move on. and be happy again. be able to aspire and hope for things again. want more out of life than what he has now. sobrang talino pa naman nun. he can have anything he ever wanted. andami niyang potential. i want him to be a whole person.

ang hirap ma-in love. i thought i'll never beg for someone to stay. so swallow my pride too much and be so pathetic. but i did. kasi mahal ko siya. i love the little things about him, the way he makes me feel when we were okay, actually kahit ngayon na even if i'm hurting, parang nabelive din ako sa sarili ko na i can do this much for someone i love, i love the way he calms/pacifies me, and i love him for the person he is, flaws and all.   

idk, sana ako yung mahalin niya when he do manage to love again. i honestly have strong convictions na ako yun. ewan. haay. hindi naman niya sinabi sa akin na ayaw niya sa akin. i'm still his special girl daw. he just cant really make the next step

btw asked him if he is even willing to move on from his dead ex, sabi niya di pa daw niya alam. hindi pa daw siya sure. i know it's weak. but at least hindi siya point blank na "no i dont want to move on".

i'll talk more to him about it, pero i'll time it. he never really had any psychiatric therapy for this. never even told his parents. told it to some "real" friends pero iniba daw niya, wala daw yung part na namatay si ex. haaay. 

btw we're going on as if di nangyari yun. sabi ko let's just enjoy the way we were before this fiasco kasi okay naman kami. we're still talking and dating and sharing. i know i'm doing some self destruction here. but i might as well enjoy it while it's there. i'm happy with him anyway. sabi niya he's being optimistic daw sa atin and open to the possibility of making the next step.

[pret_ty68]

^
Well sis kahit naman siguro anong sabihin sayo hindi na mababago desisyon mo. I see your point naman  and it seems from your post that you also know what you are getting into. Good Luck. Just don't expect too much.

[paulina19]

Sis Tin_can, why  not give him space. Kasi kung parati ka nanjan for him. he may not feel your value. Men fall in love with the absence...so yaan mo sya to be strong enough and be a man harapin nya ang pinagdadaanan nya. Baka di lang nya masabi sayo to leave him alone para di ka masakatan coz you are doing a lot of effort. Try " No contact rule" sis, so effective...kandarapa yan na mapunta ka sa iba. And while away...it is our role to pretify and their job to be the hunter... so be a : Huntee na pinaghihirapan hanapin ..then he will never let you go... Goodluck

[tin_can]

sis paulina19
thanks sis. i've come to a decision that i'll see muna ano mangyayari. i've already set a time period and if after that di pa rin, i'm leaving. and haaay pray hard every day and keep my fingers crossed na he'll realize he loves me and come back to me. pero i'm scared. very scared. but at least i'll not have any what if's anymore. and by that time i have nothing else to do but to accept what will come. at least i know i did my very best. and maybe we can be friends. and still i'll help him (with the same agenda, lol) and if as friend maybe less pressure and he can really manage it completely and properly. tapos hintay ako on the sides na baka eto na. haha!

haay mga sis. yesterday i sent him a song na sabi ko theme song ko for now which is I Wont Give Up by Jason Mraz. tapos ayun. may kasamang mga words and all. parang a letter. nabasa daw niya and he doesn't know how to reply. he's happy i'm staying and fighting for us but worried for me at the same time kasi nga masasaktan ako. napag-usapan ulit namin yung circumstances namin tapos sabi naman niya he's open and optimistic. i told him not to file me permanently under "cannot love". na wag niya akong i-box. na dont put a limit on how he feels for me. na if in the event i'm crossing the line to his "ex sphere of love" eh wag niya ako iforce back to the limit he assigned for me. na i'm not a contaminant. he told me na hindi naman ganun yun. di daw niya yun gagawin. i asked him too if he still believes in us and want me, want us. oo daw. but idk, my questions are leading and nag-aagree na lang siya? i also re-asked. telling him to be honest. same response. he's not the type to lie naman, medyo straight forward nga siyang tao. maybe i'll try asking him if he wants space from me. but yes, i'm afraid of the "other" answer. sabi ko sa kanya if napipilitan na siya, sabihin niya sa akin and i'll leave na.

i did tell him na moving and loving someone does not mean na binababoy niya yung memory ni ex. told him na there'll always be a part of ex in him. and i love all his parts and all. so i have ex to thank for some of them.

then he asked if alam ko ba tong artist na to and sent me a link to one of their songs. ito ang lyrics:

A falling star fell from your heart
And landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them
And now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped and I was in the darkness
So darkness I became

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

hay nalungkot ako ng sobra. i guess nagets niyo na rin meaning. na he doesn't want to let go and move on from the ex. i dont even know what to say. the initiative and want to move on must start from him. kayo mga sis, maybe i'm just really this pessimistic and fatalistic. how would you interpret that? thanks po!

[tin_can]

what hurts me most in this is the dreams and hopes i've made about us. that will never happen. or at least i'll have to forget them for now. haaaay. 

[bladewithaheart]

No. Admire na lang siguro pero di na love.
Alam ko rin kung paano magmove on kahit wala namang namagitan samin lol

[AnJelatine]

No.

Para akong years nag-ipon ng money para makabili ng brand new car, tapos hindi ko pwedeng sakyan. Or kaya bahay, tapos hindi ko pwedeng tirhan

Sayang sa oras.
Sayang sa effort at energy.
Sayang sa feelings.
Sayang sa make-up.
Sayang lang lahat.

[mikewazowski]

So how can you lose feelings for that someone? Haha I really like this guy but his wayyy out my league and hiis past gf's were on top on te list, i mean dlsu uaap cheerdancer. It just upset me haha. But I like him for 5 years, weird right -.-

[pinkadelic]

i'm trying to get myself out of this situation. maybe we really can't help whom we fall in love with. but i'm trying to toughen myself up and have that "kung ayaw mo, di huwag" mentality. bakit ko pinapahirapan sarili ko? kahit konting respeto na lang sa sarili, and that means being with somebody who loves me back. easier said than done, i know, but i have to change my perspective or live with this feeling until it goes away. honestly, i don't need the excess baggage. i have to be kind to myself too.

[may12]

Why bother? Puwede naman magmahal ng puwede maging akin, so sa kanya ko nalang uubusin time ko at atensiyon.

[yengyeng]

huhuhu i am

[Girltalker2]

NO

[Pink_Sugar]

No.

[Iamkayrelle]

Yes.. that's where I am right now.

[alice_alice]

no. nakakapagod ito. kahit anong gawin ko olats ako.

[fionaapple]

Why? Or why not?

For me no, *sigh

One day, I hope to be able to say, "I love you enough to let go, so you'll find the one who will give you the happiness you deserve. I love you enough to be your friend forever. I love you enough to do the right thing. I love you enough not to be in love with you forever.

And to that special someone who is mine, I love you enough to be yours and yours alone."

Nagawa ko ito sis. i am now about to get married to my special someone. The man who showed me how a woman should be loved and taken care of. The man i will vow to love forever.

[purple.strawberry]

Why???

[blow_fish]

been there done that 10 years.. yes 10 years but good thing there's a break in between.
ngayon i lift everything kay Lord.. if he is not for me i asked the Lord to change my heart.