^^ thats the reason why i said "some", im not generalizing na ALL people who are not in good terms or those who are not exerting efforts to be close to their inlaws are hypocrites. i was just stating my opinion and sharing my honest observation based on the people i personally know. lets face it, madaming mga magulang ng lalaki ang mas choosy pa than the parents ng babae, and those wives na kilala ko na hindi type ng inlaws nila, gusto naman talaga maging close sa kanila, but then nagpapadala nalang sa fact na their inlaws doesnt like them kaya they choose not to do something about it kahit na meron naman silang pwedeng gawin to mend the gap, samantalang sila eh naiinis whenever their hubbies doesnt wanna tag along with them sa family gatherings nila. thats the reason why I used the term "hypocrite" kasi nga gusto naman talaga nila, yun nga lang nagppretend nalang sila na ayaw nila, cant understand if takot mapahiya (kahit na hindi naman ugali ng pamilya na mamahiya), or what.
there are 2 cases na ganyan sa family ko, relatives ko both ang lalaki, and yung mga aunt ko medyo hindi boto sa wives nila for one simple reason -- di rin nila maramdaman yung sincerity na gusto nung dalawang inlaws makisama sa kanila. whenever we have family gatherings, the wives are parang anino lang ng cousins ko, di manlang nakikipagkwentuhan, they dont even wanna start even small talk lang, thats why we cant figure out why they have to feel intimidated or uneasy. Di ko naman masabi na nahihiya, kasi kung nahihiya yun sana manlang makisama din ng konti, considering one of those two na babae, aunt ko pa nagsupport sa studies nya nung college, she got preggy early kasi and wasnt able to enter college, so nag-start sila mag live in at the age of 17, aunt ko sumagot ng bahay na tinirahan nila even yung expenses araw araw (cousin was still studying in college that time), and when it reached the point that the girl was ready to study again, ayaw na sha suportahan ng parents nya, so my cousin talked to her mom to ask for help sa studies ng wife nya, and my aunt gladly obliged. walang mahirap na usap, ang problema lang talaga, si girl parang may sariling mundo pag may affair ang family and nagkikitakita. samantalang sa kanya sobrang laking issue if may family affair and my cousin couldnt come because of work.
but syempre we cant discount naman na may cases na may issues talaga sa family yung mismong partner, syempre in those cases we cant expect naman the wives/hubbies to be close to the inlaws when yung mismong partner nila hindi nga masyadong at ease with their own family. which could apply naman dun sa side ng family nung wife ng cousin ko, medyo maka-luma kasi ang values so parang tinakwil yung wife ni cousin since maaga napreggy, and ilang years na lumipas, theyre still blaming my cousin kung bakit "nasira" daw buhay ng anak nila kasi hindi nakapag-tapos on time, so ayun, awkward moment each time may family gathering, since medyo bastos yung father nung girl, minsan nakakapagthrow ng remarks na hindi maganda even when there are other people around, so minsan parang ayaw na rin lang sumama ni cousin sa kanila..
sorry if some people found my initial post insulting, but i didnt mean naman to insult anyone here, i was just sharing my observation sa mga nakikita kong scenarios sa family/acquaintances ko.
*apologies for the super nobela post, napa vent out na rin ako ng konti haha!*