What would you prefer, a comfortable life with an unfaithful spouse or...

[Girltalker2]

a struggling lifestyle but shared with a truthful and loving husband?

Yan ang tanong sakin ng friend ko just few days ago. Yun yung time na inatake ng tsunami ang 8 year married life ko.  Parang no brainer na tanung kung iisipin pero di ako nakapagbigay ng consistent na sagot sa friend ko that time. First answer ko was mabuti ng magdildil kami ng asin at least sigurado akong ako lang at mga anak ko ang nasa puso nya.
Sagot ng friend ko. but at least di ka pinababayaan ng husband mo.. he always provide all your needs and even your wants. at pag may pera ka madali mo madivert sarili mo from getting depressed. pwede ka magliwaliw, maglakwatsa o kahit [textspeak!] kasi di mo iisipin ang pera.

Nag isip naman ako ngayun..oo nga ano my point din. pero di parin ako totally convinced.. dapat faithful husband at comfortable life padin kung pwede naman ibigay pareho ni Lord diba.?

But to all GTs here kun papiliin kayo ng isa lang sa dalawang options above ano gugustuhin nyo?

Sabi nila the grass is always greener on the other side.  I suppose sasabihin ng iba who are a bit struggling financially na di na bale nambabae mister (basta walang mistress) so long as all the family's needs are met. 

Pero for wives like us who has been cheated on but living a comfortable life, would prefer na financial nalang maging problema kesa sa philandering husband.

Para naman sakin, kung kulang ang finances ng pamilya, mas madaling gawan ng paraan at solusyon kesa sa lalaking nangangaliwa.  Kasi ang lalaking nangangaliwa is way beyond my control.  Wala akong magagawa kung gusto talaga nya mambabae.  Pero pag struggling kami financially, we should be able to find ways and means kasi we are together, and puede naman magtrabaho and kahit anong pagod mo, if you know that you are supported by someone, madali lang ma overcome ang financial problems. 

Bottomline, tingin ko ha, dapat financially independent tayong mga babae.  Para pag nambabae si mister, direchong itapon.  Yes, tsaka nung nambabae ex ko, may pera ako pangshopping, magpaganda ag magpa divert ng attention.  I tried as well to patch things up, pero there is just no amount of money that can buy marital bliss and peace of mind.

May isang school of thought - why some parents would like their daughters to marry rich guys.  They believe that men are polygamous by nature, so kung mayaman hubby mo, at least sure ka na may money ka magpaganda.  Pero kung nag-asawa ka ng someone na pobre than you, tapos nambabae pa, talagang walang ka kwentang kwentang asawa yun.

[aquacharly]

This is just my opinion, and my darling Lola's shared insights,  which beg  for no affirmation:
Every woman,  even the certified gold digger, hopes  for a smooth
     marriage/partnership with no complications from 3rd parties.
Unfortunately, all men cheat on their  partners/wives, at least once. 
       Once lang, perhaps, but that is still cheating.
The main issue is: nahuli ba or nabuking?  It doesn't matter, it is still cheating even if no one found out     
        about it. 
Timing timing lang yan kelan mag cheat.  Some may say: My man never cheats, will never. Ok, good for you. 

I can say I have seen an example of it all, given that I come from a family of rabbits, este ga Barangay talaga both sides of my parents.
My observations, regardless of que makapal or manipis wallet:
     If the cheating is done early in the relationship, the woman is lucky.  She has her youth & beauty to buttress her willpower.  It is easier for her to walk out on her marriage.
     If the cheating is done  after the kids arrive, it gets complicated.  The woman tries harder to make the marriage work. 
     If the cheating is done after the kids become adults/become independent, deciding seems to be easier for the woman. To suffer more years in quiet dignity, or to walk out and create a better life for herself.
     In her 60's, when the kids have their own lives & kids too perhaps, the woman says:   Who cares?!  Hahaha

My other observations:   
LOVE is always there from the wife/partner regardless of the extent of betrayal.
       Kahit na ba she decided to dump the marriage, at the core of her rage & giving up -- love remains.
       It may become detached, fade in intensity --  but love remains in her heart for that man.
REMORSE  is always there from the husband/partner.  Even if he chooses to abandon the       
       relationship/marriage, , there is remorse for hurting her, being unfaithful to his vows/commitment
       promises, for letting his family down.
REFORM does not always follow, even if there is Remorse.
FORGIVENESS is always a choice, even when there is no Remorse &/or Reform.

My most important observation:  Regardless of the extent/frequency of the cheating -- 
FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT/SELF-EMPOWERED women are less devastated, less desperate, and unlikely to feel hopeless/with no options.   
    IF they decide to end everything --  They have better chances of moving on, in practical and emotional terms.  Their children too, have better chances of moving on & coping.
    IF they decide to keep on working on their marriages/relationships --  they are stronger, & though they view themselves as the wronged party, they don't see themselves as having no-choice hostages to a relationship/marriage that gives them no peace but lots of emo/mental torture.

Life is never clear-cut, the choices more so not just black vs white. 
So, a self-empowered woman  has better chances of interpreting the greys and dealing with these given her circumstance & priorities.
Well, generally -- coz hahaha ... Have you come across a self-empowered woman who supports a bum and allows him to beat her up?  Ah, but those are exceptions. .

[gorgeous gal]

hmmm... it's pretty hard to choose. pwede kayang a comfortable life with a faithful spouse? hehe

ang hirap ng may nangangaliwang asawa. kahit pa madaming pera. mabibili mo lahat ng luho mo, pero end of the day, ganun pa din. hihiga ka sa kama at magiisip kung bakit nangaliwa ang asawa mo. wala kang peace of mind e.

pero ganun din yung struggling life e. kahit anong lambingan nyo ng asawa mo, end of the day, hihiga ka sa kama magiisip, paano yung bukas. saan kami kukuha ng kakainin? wala ka ding peace of mind.

so mamimili ka lang. anong klaseng peace of mind ba ang gusto mo? peace of mind na wala kang kahati sa asawa mo, o peace of mind na may kakainin o panggastos kayo kinabukasan?

[m_lim]

kung 2 lang talaga ang pagpipilian, dun na ako sa unfaithful pero financially stable.

why? kasi yung walang pera, sooner or later, magloloko rin yan! hahaha

(naniniwala lang ako walang lalaking 100% buong buhay niya di magloloko!)

[bpa]

i prefer the faithful one. i don't need a man to support me; i'm quite capable to support myself so it's easy for me to drop the comfortable life with an unfaithful husband. i think at the end of the day it goes down to what really makes you happy - the companionship, love and care of your husband or the material things he can give you. i would rather have my husband sleeping beside me in our humble bed at night knowing that i'm the only one than have a king-size bed all by myself not knowing where my husband is, or worse knowing where he is spending the night and thinking about it all night long.

With money you can buy a house, but not a home.
With money you can buy a clock, but not time.
With money you can buy a bed, but not sleep.
With money you can buy a book, but not knowledge.
With money you can buy a doctor, but not good health.
With money you can buy a position, but not respect.
With money you can buy blood, but not life.
With money you can buy sex, but not love.

[Crystalpenelope]

Definitely, I'll choose the faithful one.  I can't imagine myself living with a man who cheats.  If at first he is already unfaithful, I would not have second thought to dump him to save myself from being hurt repeatedly.  I know it's not that easy.  But for me, I deserve to be with the man who truly loves and respects me.

[Princess_Chill]

ang hirap nga ng choice na ito...i forgot kung sino nagsabi saakin nito...

I'd rather cry inside a ferrari than inside a tricycle.

so either way iiyak ka din so better na sa loob ka na ng ferrari which makes me think...oo nga naman...

kung eto lang talaga choice i'll choose na good provider..im thinking more of my kids welfare kasi baka hindi ko kaya
magbigay ng luxurious life sa kanila kung ako lang...basta ba pambababae lang hindi niya kami sinasaktan...

[popi]

I'll choose the faithful husband.  Hindi mabibili ng pera ang peace of mind.

Yung pera, magagawan ko ng paraan.  Pwede ako magtrabaho.

Wag lang siguro yung faithful na sugarol.  Kapag ganun, iwanan ko na lang sya, ako na lang bubuhay mag isa sa mga anak namin

[May24]

I, right now is having a struggling lifestyle with my truthful and loving husband. It's really hard. I work while he's a house husband. Mababa lang kasi pinag aralan nya and it would be practical if ako na lang mag work because I can earn more. Although we had a deal that when the kids reach high school and can be left alone at home... that he would work na, whatever decent job he can land into. And this school year graduating na ng elementary mga bata. Thank God! I needed his assistance na rin kasi financially. Konting tiis na lang.

A lot had been sacrificed since then. Actually maraming issues, like the term na ako nagpapakain sa kanya, social life na hindi balance and family na maraming sinasabi.. and a lot lot more. But it all boils down sa love namin for each other and for the kids, and syempre dahil na rin sa accept ko sya and yung kakayahan nya. I feel na it's worth it naman just as long as hindi sya mag cheat sakin.

But if it happens, sana I can handle the break up because for everything I've done and sacrifice... I cannot be treated like dirt. 

[cheerfulone]

for me sissy, maganda sana if you have both.. pero id rather choose siguro ang faithful and loving husband, imagine your life na wala ka nga problema finacially pero your life is "meaningless", and yes mabibili or mabibigay nga siguro lahat ng gusto mo but in the end of the day, they are all material things, nasisira, nawawala, nagfafade. in short, short term happiness, pang divert lang sa totoong problema mo.

pero.. alam naman natin kung gaano kahirap ang buhay ngayon, may mga taong mas prefer nila na huwag na sila mamoblema finacially kahit loko-loko partner nila, which i think is practicality na lang ang umiiral and materialism.

mas gugustuhin ko na na faithful and loving husband ang kasama ko, basta magkasama kamim atleast alam ko hindi ako nagiisa, and for sure if you are really willing to work on that relationship in spite of finacial problem, hindi na magiging issue yun.

[freelancer_babe]

Hmm.. what is so comfortable in "a comfortable life with an unfaithful spouse"?