Author Topic: What would you prefer, a comfortable life with an unfaithful spouse or...  (Read 20253 times)

aquacharly

  • Guest
Ladies, be realistic:

1.  Fidelity is a person's choice. 
You can go hang yourself daily,  be a slave 24/7, throw in your own mom & MIL too as slaves, pray 100 novenas everyday while walking on your knees in church everyday -- but all that and more will not guarantee your husband will be faithful to you alone.
       So, it is not for a wife to say - ok, In return for a simple life, hindi ka ever maging unfaithful to me ha husband?  There is no such deal. 

2.  To lead a decently safe, productive and happy life - you need money.
IMO, it is not enough to give a kid the basic requirements of food, shelter, education, etc.  Times are so different for their generation vs ours.  So, IMO again - a parent must also help advance a child's dream.  And I am not referring to froufrou dreams like going to Disneyland ha.  So, "eyes on the money".
This, IMO again, is independent of a husband's fidelity.  No trade-offs. Hwag mo ko bigyan ng consuelo de bobo na naghihikahos tayo pero ok lang kasi ako lang mahal mo.  The reverse holds true too.

3.  Lead a life of happiness - we are entitled to that.  Why wait to die muna and then be happy. 
So, if a wife can no longer take her heartbreaks/her husband who F*cks around like a dog makes her skin crawl na -- why stick around someone kadiri  na - regardless, maliit or malaki allowance/budget/kupit mo.  Ahhhh. But that you can do only if you are self empowered.  Sariling sikap, sariling kakayanan. Sariling sipa -- yeah, you can kick him outta your life and start a friggin' better life.  Life should always be beautiful. 

So there - yes, it is an interesting choice to discuss; but realistically - come on. Show me a person not interested in money.

mooncake and leaves

  • Guest
^ ah i thought the TS was making us choose between 2 extremes. kasi if we go by that argument, might as well suggest o what if the unfaithful hubby becomes dirt poor. then we'll be going around in circles.

btw, there are faithful husbands out there. :)

betty

  • Guest
 if its not the 1st time that the husband committed the mistake, you should be immune by now hehe

sa totoo lang ang hirap din to choose if i were in her shoes..but prayer helps a lot in dealing with the situation.
you have to accept the fact first that he is, by nature like that, after that slowly, realization would come in. then acceptance....acceptance in the sense na, hindi kana umaasa na magbabago sya hahaha.

start being the frenemy..in that way hindi masyadong halata if youre planning something ;)

aquacharly

  • Guest
^^ :) sure, there are faithful husbands ... But IMO, these were unfaithful at least once before,  or will be unfaithul at least once in the future.   
Lumang tugtugin na yang mga supposedly faithful husbands. The difference is, wives talk about it these days .... The generation before,  the wives would generally be in denial about any lapses. 

mooncake and leaves

  • Guest
^ actually, the stats suggest that a dismal 60% of men will cheat at least once during their married life.  the wives take care of the 40. ;)

i think every couple will grapple with the issue of infidelity. but I think that coming to the conclusion that ALL husbands were or will eventually be guilty of a full blown affair or even a ONS is a rather unfair assessment. neither the numbers nor reality really support that opinion. yun lang.

:)

cherub.rock

  • Guest
I think people who are mabisyo, mababae/malalaki, etc. are prone to lose their money din. Magastos din yun ah. And people who can't take care of their personal affairs are more likely to spiral out of control tapos affected lahat, even finances.

So I'd rather struggle. Our family struggled but we have the best parents. Basta madiskarte at masikap, you'll find a way to survive. :)

that's true.. exactly what i was thinking. also, rich men na mababae are more 'vulnerable' to gold diggers kaya tendency, they lose their money to these kind of women. diba? ako i admit that a financially stable and successful guy is attractive to me. it's the appeal of being able to provide.. not that i intend to be dependent on him but you get the feeling of assurance. his wealth(if earned by his own hard work) can also be a gauge how 'ma-diskarte' he is when it comes to making money. but at the end of the day, it all boils down to character. as much as i want a man who can provide for our future children, i want a man who will be the best example/role-model our kids can emulate.

totoo yung sinabi ni babyjapnurse, peace of mind can't be bought with money. you can spend all the money traveling, buying the things you want, but unless you're sooo numb and manhid, all the wealth won't be enough when you lie awake at night feeling so troubled over your man's stupidities and vices.

then again, you also have to consider na ang taong gutom ay mas lalong walang peace of mind. hehe! so to answer the question, i'd rather live an average life (not necessarily rich.. just basic needs and some wants within reach) with a loyal and loving husband. ayoko din naman sa taong loving nga eh tamad naman at walang trabaho.
« Last Edit: April 20, 2011, 10:15:44 pm by cherub.rock »

^Vain_Chiq^

  • Guest
I would rather choose to have a struggling life with a loyal and loving husband rather than having a comfortable life with an unfaithful husband. Aanhin ko naman ang material stuffs kung ang asawa ko naman ay babaero? Life is short so I'd make it worth living and be happy with what I have.

mbeeyap

  • Guest
para sakin hindi naman comfortable kung babaero yung husband. walang peace of mind.  ::)

mahirap din kung walang pera. pero based sa experience ng mom ko, mas ok pa daw nung wala kaming pera kasi faithful pa yung dad ko. nung nagkapera na, ayun dami na chicks.  :(


lovemeagain30

  • Guest
hmm.. mahirap pareho eh.. mahirap actually pumilit kung anung tama kasi parehong parang may mali. parang pareho walang peace of mind din!hehe.

kung wala kang anak, ok lang siguro ang struggling pero faithful si hubby. pero pag may kids na, tapos buhay niyo ay struggling? ay sakit sa ulo! i mean as a mom now, masaya ang pakiramdam ko na naibibigay ko ang super maayos na buhay para sa kid ko in terms of material. si hubby nagiging secondary nalang eh, unlike nung bf-gf palang kayo, kayo lang kasi dalawa. pag may kids na, ang hirap mamuhay sa hirap. malamang pumatol nalang ako sa ibang lalake na may datung kesa sa mabait nga ang asawa ko, tambay naman at alang pangarap.

utakan lang siguro yan.. diskarte sa pera.. its either ikaw ang mautak sainyo dalawa, or ikaw ang nauutakan niya.






« Last Edit: April 21, 2011, 04:12:20 pm by lovemeagain30 »

bratty

  • Guest
i'd rather have a struggling lifestyle with a faithful husband, sa totoo lang, takot ako pag nagkakaroon kami ng sobrang pera, mas malapit si hubby sa tukso. ano ba yan!

gab54

  • Guest
I would rather have a faithful husband. i've experience being rich, then poor, then rich again... if i dont have problems in my family, im confident i can make money, one way or the other. whereas, if we're rich, pero hubby is unfaithful, baka maubos lang ang money sa vices...
hay, buti nalang good boy na si hubby  :-X

spongebob

  • Guest
id rather have a faithful hubby too...exactly my situation now... hubby provides for everything more than anything i need but he's not around always. and it's ironic that it's him whom my daughter and i need... his presence is not something money can compensate for or can buy. that's why ive decided to leave him. though i may not have what he can provide for our daughter but i have the time our daughter needs and i can provide for her as well... i just don't see the point of living with him when he ain't around. he just keeps disappointing us.. now that my daughter and i are living without him, we never have to expect anything and we're living peacefully.

muahmuahmuah

  • Guest
^that's an admirable gutsy move, you are indeed better off instead of having an absentee father for your little girl.

i'm all for love. if it comes to that extreme choice of what to have and keep, a faithful husband it will be.  i know a couple of monied women willing to pay an arm and a leg to find love and same goes with the monied men, the risk of being poorito in the end point nila is 'i can rebuild my fortune'...in terms of percentage who screwed more on the marriage-the high margin of it goes to the women  actually and the men they married ang babait pa in dealing with the divorces and supporting them. aminin maraming vicious women out there as much as there are a lot of great guys around.

artegirl

  • Guest
it will depend.  If I don't love my husband, i.e. I married him to have a comfortable life, I won't mind his cheating so long as he provides the lifestyle I want.  but if I married for love, no amount of money will compensate for infidelity...

for struggling lifestyle + faithful husband that I love, depende din what degree.   if struggling lifestyle means having to work a decent job that provides an income that's enough to provide financial security, I'd consider that a very good life.  but if by struggling lifestyle means living in poverty, then no, I also don't want that either. 

_*q-tee*_

  • Guest
I wanted both and luckily I have both.. Mahirap lang kasi habulin hubby ko, I just have to trust in him na hindi magloko.. If ever na magloko nga siya, I don't know what to do na.. maybe, leave him and maintain my pride..

cheskacruz

  • Guest
Ako hindi ko alam, pero my situation kasi right now, ako lang ang nagwowork, ilang years na.
I have three kids to feed. Halos mamatay na ako sa kakatrabaho, full-time na ako,nag-part-time job pa'ko before. My mom asked me to stop, what am I doing to myself daw. Pinapatay ko raw katawan ko.

But my answer was, ayaw naman magtrabaho ng asawa ko eh. I'm tired of asking him to look for a job, applying jobs online for him, getting nannies na nilalayasan kami dahil abusado siya.

Isa pa lang anak namin, ako na nagwowork, hanggang sa makadalawa, makatatlo na ako. Ako pa rin kumakayod.

Wala siyang pakialam sa akin, kahit may sakit ako, ni minsan hindi niya ako inofferan ng gamot. Kinumutan or asikasuhin.

Kapag may sakit mga anak ko, hirap na hirap ako sa paghahanap ng pera, pero siya wala siyang nilalapitan at ginagawang diskarte. Tapos sasaktan ka pa... Haaaay. Buhay nga naman...

Kaya, mas gusto ko pa sigurong may ibang babae pero naitatawid sa gutom mga anak ko.

passionfruity

  • Guest
^ Minsan o baka madalas talaga kung ano yung kulang o wala sa atin akala naten yun ang solusyun o makakagaan sa buhay naten. But its not always the case..Kase pag may kahati din tayo sa mga asawa naten parang ang sakit padin tanggapin. Emotionally bothered ka din..Kahit pa busog ka sa material na bagay..,

haiku

  • Guest
Been there and I chose to leave. It's not the infidelity that will kill you anyway, it's his indifference and emotional cruelty. Konti lang savings ko; I wasn't prepared and I never expected him to treat me that way, zero respect even as the mother of his children. Housewife lang ako and it was a struggle in the beginning. Fast forward to today and I know it's the best thing I've ever done for myself and my kids. I have my self-respect and dignity back. Parang yung life ko na black and white biglang naging technicolor. I kept my faith and God was always there; everything I needed would come to me or happen in the most unexpected ways.

confusedbroken

  • Guest
Mahirap magkaroon ng unfaithful husband. Sasabihin sayo na ikaw ang palaging me kasalanan kahit buhay mo na ang ibinibigay mo. Usually , pag me resources jan nagkakaroon ng infedelity. Mas gusto ko na noon ang simpleng buhay namin. salat man pero masaya kami. di tulad ngayon na medyo nakakaluwag pero malayo sa buhay namin si hubby at me lamat ang relasyon.

kathon

  • Guest
Once na naging unfaithful na si husband parang mahirap na ibalik yung dating trust sa kanya.. Hanggang sa magkadakitan na lang kayo..
Mahirap pero feeling ko kung sobrang lalim na ng sugat mas better na maghiwalay na lang lalo na kung di na kayang i-work out.. Malay natin sa paghihiwalay nyong yun, dun marealize ng both parties na mahal pa nila ang isat isa and will do eveything to fix their marriage. :)

 

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