House For Single Momma Part 5

[miss_isla]

^ Hi sis, would you prefer na he contacts you directly instead of the yaya if he wants to talk to the kids? It is a good thing na nag-e-effort sya, it doesn't really matter if its through the yaya or you. He probably thinks na yung responsibilities nya lang naman e sa mga bata at hindi sayo. Siguro naisip nya na baka nga hindi ka papayag. Tsaka, ano yung reason para itago mo yung mga kids? Is it ayaw mo talaga ipakita at makaganti? Or para maging way yun para magkausap kayo at sayo sya dadaan to talk to the kids?

[Girltalker2]

^^ sis iyan ang hirap sa dilemma ng mga single moms. A big part of us gusto itago ang bata.  Pero it is really for the kids kaya hindi ko ito magawa.  Kasi hiding them from the father will not be beneficial to their emotional well being.

Pero I agree with you in terms of channeling it through you than the yaya.  You have to tell the yaya na if he is contacted by the father of the kids, then she should just tell him to contact you.

[shakeshake]

disappearing act kasi ang peg nya sakin, hindi nya alam you anak nya eh old enough to tell me stories kaya nalaman ko. my daughter said her daddy was crying when they talked.. nakakadurog talaga ng puso kapag alam mong affected na mga bata

[slickchick]

slick!!! chiq!!! hi!!!

sis madam_cruella!!!!! musta ka na sis!!! long time no chitchat! hope everything's ok with you... 

Mga sis help! Yung tatay ng mga anak ko e kinokontak [textspeak!] mga bata thru their yaya.. Medyo happy ako kasi nageeffort siya na makausap mga anak nya at the same time confused kasi parang he's doing it behind my back.. Hindi ko naman siya pinagbabawalan sa mga bata pero he doesnt want to talk or deal with me.. Tago ko kaya mga anak ko noh? Makaganti man lang

sis baka naman ayaw nya icourse through you kasi takot sya na baka hindi mo nga ipakita yung mga bata. if you're not comfortable na nakikipagkita yung mga kids mo sa kanya without your knowledge, siguro you can tell the yaya na kapag tumawag si guy, ibigay syo yung phone. and huwag i-entertain kung gusto makipagkita without your knowledge. ikaw pa rin naman ang amo ni yaya, in the first place diba?  as the kids' dad, he has the right na makita yung mga bata, but as the kids' mom and the one who's currently supporting the kids, you have every right to tell the dad that he has to talk to you if gusto nya makita or makasama yung mga bata. just my two cents worth... 

[Shin6745]

Thanks for info.

[pathetica]

Mga sis, clueless here. Hmm last year nag break kami ni X before Christmas (ayaw nag family nya sa akin kahit may anak na kami) kahit nag break kami may contact pa kami nun. Pinutol ko lang ng nalaman kong nagkabalikan sila ng 1st GF nya. Recently, nagulat ako ng tinext nya ko, kinamusta at gustong maging mag friends daw kami kahit sila pa ng GF nya. Sinabi ko sa kanya na if he only allow me to fix everything, gagawin ko lahat. Kaso sinabi nya Ayaw daw nya pag usapan namin yung tungkol dun dahil magulo pa daw. Hindi ko alam kung ano reason kung bakit pa siya nagparamdam ulit o sadyang iniisip ko lang na makikipag balikan siya sa akin??! 

[slickchick]

Mga sis, clueless here. Hmm last year nag break kami ni X before Christmas (ayaw nag family nya sa akin kahit may anak na kami) kahit nag break kami may contact pa kami nun. Pinutol ko lang ng nalaman kong nagkabalikan sila ng 1st GF nya.

sis pathetica, may anak kayo ni X mo right? before splitting up, have you discussed ano magiging arrangement nyo if he wants to see his kid? baka kasi he wants to be friends with you again, para makita and makasama pa rin nya anak nya - but not necessarily makipagbalikan syo. sorry sis, if it would sound very straightforward ah.. para lang hindi ka rin masyado mag expect and get disappointed later on.. if it will give you some peace of mind, you can ask him straight naman bakit sya nagiging friendly ulit syo.. just my two cents worth... 

[pathetica]

sis pathetica, may anak kayo ni X mo right? before splitting up, have you discussed ano magiging arrangement nyo if he wants to see his kid? baka kasi he wants to be friends with you again, para makita and makasama pa rin nya anak nya - but not necessarily makipagbalikan syo. sorry sis, if it would sound very straightforward ah.. para lang hindi ka rin masyado mag expect and get disappointed later on.. if it will give you some peace of mind, you can ask him straight naman bakit sya nagiging friendly ulit syo.. just my two cents worth... 

Its ok sis Slickchick yah may anak kami, at eversince naman na naghiwalay kami eh lagi nya nakikita si baby evryweek ends. Kasi sis mayt times na super concern siya at araw araw ittext at tatawag, tapos bigla hindi magpaparamdam. Felling ko nga sis panakip butas kay GF nya. 

[slickchick]

^ ahhh sending mixed signals sis.. medyo nalito lang ako sis - ikaw ba or si GF ang panakip-butas?    actually sis, from an outsider's perspective, medyo na-off lang ako sa sinabi nya na ayaw nya pagusapan yung naging past ninyo.. kasi if he has intentions of really getting back with you, i hope he tries to iron out first those things na hindi nyo napagkasunduan nun - if it's with his parents/family, is he ready this time to fight for you and your kid? hirap din kasi sis yung magkakabalikan kayo tapos the old issues are still there... it would be better if the old issues are settled first, and then you can start on a clean slate.. just my opinion ah.. 

[pathetica]

^ ahhh sending mixed signals sis.. medyo nalito lang ako sis - ikaw ba or si GF ang panakip-butas?    actually sis, from an outsider's perspective, medyo na-off lang ako sa sinabi nya na ayaw nya pagusapan yung naging past ninyo.. kasi if he has intentions of really getting back with you, i hope he tries to iron out first those things na hindi nyo napagkasunduan nun - if it's with his parents/family, is he ready this time to fight for you and your kid? hirap din kasi sis yung magkakabalikan kayo tapos the old issues are still there... it would be better if the old issues are settled first, and then you can start on a clean slate.. just my opinion ah.. 

Sorry sis! Parang ako yung panakip butas nya. Basta ng na open ko yung about sa amin sabi nya lang is magulo pa ang lahat til now kaya ayaw nya daw pag usapan. OK naman na kami ng parents nya after ng nagkahiwalay kami, settled na yung old issues. Yung issue na lang namin 2 ang hindi clear sa akin, na ayaw nya pag usapan

[slickchick]

^ naku sis, if you feel na panakip-butas ka lang or if you sense na hindi pa sya ready to discuss the issue sa inyong 2, in my opinion, baka mas maigi na stay as friends na lang muna kayo - at least for your kid. i am sensing you still have some feelings for him, and it's ok, kasi may pinagsamahan naman siguro kayo..  but if he's not ready to discuss yung naging issue ninyo, baka now is not yet the right time. but at least, be thankful na lang din na he's present sa buhay ng anak nyo. 

[pathetica]

^^^ sis Yah I still have feelings for him. At ewan ko ba kung feelingera o pinapaasa ko yung sarili ko. Pero yung pakiramdam na magiging kami parin til the end. Anyways, thanks sa advice sis!

[shakeshake]

Mga sis question.. Paghinihiram ba ng daddy yung mga bata pano usually yung deal nyo? Do you allow the kid/kids to stay sa father ng few days o visit visit pasyal lang for the whole day?

[babyboo.0326]

^wala naman kaming ganyang set-up kasi no show na ang dad ng kids ko. pero if ever they want to see my kids/kid (magkaiba kasi sila ng father), sila ang pumunta sa bahay hindi yung anak ko ang pupunta sa kanila para lang makita at masakama nila. hindi laruan mga anak ko no! yan siguro ang naging basehan ko kaya nakita ko if may effort talaga, e kaso wala. open naman doors ng bahay namin, pero hindi niya kayang pumunta. yun na ang sagot sa tanong ko. no effort, you don't deserve to see my kid.

[pathetica]

Mga sis question.. Paghinihiram ba ng daddy yung mga bata pano usually yung deal nyo? Do you allow the kid/kids to stay sa father ng few days o visit visit pasyal lang for the whole day?

Sis ang set up namin is every other weekends nasa kanya. Hatid sundo naman yung mga bata pag hinihiram. At first sis ayoko sana ipahiram kaso naisip ko na kailangan din nila ng time na kasama nang daddy nila.

[maiandra]

me too sis babyboo.0326, naduduwag pumunta yung (ex)hubby ko sa amin, eh kung gusto nya talaga makita anak ko, mag effort siya. Kung feel nya magpasko at mag new year mag isa, then bahala sya.

[slickchick]

same with sis babyboo0326, no show since birth ang dad ng anak ko (oh.. since 6 months pregnant pala ako, no show na.. hehe... ). kung bigla naman syang lilitaw sa doorstep namin isang araw, i would let him see my son, pero hindi pwede ilabas na silang dalawa lang.. if he wants to take my son out, magkita na lang kami sa venue (if sa mall or sa park) and they can bond there for a few hours, with me and my brother or my parents... hehe.. thing is, kapag tinatanong ko yung son ko, hanggang hi/hello lang ang gusto nya pag nagkita sila ng dad nya.. curious lang daw sya.. wala naman daw sila paguusapan so need to spend so much time with him...

[Girltalker2]

me too sis babyboo.0326, naduduwag pumunta yung (ex)hubby ko sa amin, eh kung gusto nya talaga makita anak ko, mag effort siya. Kung feel nya magpasko at mag new year mag isa, then bahala sya.

Di ko maintindihan bakit sila marunong mahiya this time?  Eh nung tinalikuran nila tayo, or nung nambabae sila or whatsoever, ang tapang ng apog nila. Tapos ngayon pa sila marunong mahiya eh huli na naman lahat, wala na naman sila dapat ikahiya at wala na dapat natitira nun sa dugo nila.

[momentum]

helllooooo sa lahat ng single moms!

kamusta na buhay buhay? 

[slickchick]

^ musta na sis! long time no see and chitchat! hope everything is ok with you, and all the single moms in this thread.