How do you cope with the bad feelings pag nag-aaway/nagkakatampuhan kayo?

[sweetbabycakes]

Just had a small fight with hubby, and i am feeling really bad  . will you give me some insights on how to deal with this?

[mrs.S.]

as much as possible, relax and dont raise your voice. Pag nag away kami ni hubby I let myself cool down a bit. But pag minor lang kunwari silent treatment. But knowing him kukulitin niya ako. Its better na pag-usapan ninyo right away but make sure hindi mainit yung mga ulo ninyo.

[fegloria1954]

Initially I cried in silence.

Then when the offenses had to do with one-night-stands and having a kabit, I became explosively angry.  That anger escalated into rage.  I sometimes sunk into deep despair.  But what I did not forget was to pray to God.  It came to a point where I was visiting the church just to sit and find solitude, and then before I leave, I would light a candle and then say the same prayer - Lord enlighten me and my husband that we may find it in our hearts to have love, peace and harmony in our marriage.

Until we did the RETROUVAILLE Program, and I saw him acknowledge that he did indeed commit serious and mortal offenses against me and our marriage and that he wanted to ask for my forgiveness.

When we did the RETROUVAILLE Program, we learned about many tools to address and manage conflict, in addition to how we could improve our communication and intimacy (this is not equated to sexual relationship).

Mommy Fe

[twelvth_goddess]

When I'm upset, whether it be over a trivial matter or something grave, it doesnt work for me na pag nag-sorry na wala na din yung bad feelings ko. I have to cool down on my own so sometimes it takes a couple of hours or overnight or a couple of days. I have to cope with my anger on my own and I get more irritated pag pinipilit ako maging ok kase I always say na I'm not a robot na pag sinabe mong maging ok na eh isang push button lang.

It helps if I get things off my chest. If you have things that you want to say, say them. Just be wary though cus when you're mad, you tend to say things that will solicit a reaction from the other person kahit pa masakit.

[prettymom]

write in your journal sis..or if you don not have one yet or do not want to keep one..write it in any paper, pour your heart out. you could just tjrow it away if you do not want to keep a record of it .
i cry too....

[chrlxmyot]

ako most of the time silent treatment lang pero there are times na may mga bagay ako na gusto sabihin kay hubby so what i do is i write it in a paper and stick it to the door of his cabinet that way makikita nya agad yung message ko...after nun gumagaan kahit papano yung pakiramdam ko...try mo minsan sis...

[zhienzhien]

kapag ganitong situation, ako usually ang kumakausap sa kanya eh.. I cannot bear na magka-away kami at makatulugan ang away. hindi rin ako makatulog if ever nagaway kami tapos nakatulog na sya. ang sama talaga sa pakiramdam. so ayun konting lambing lang at sorry ok na kami.

[red_one]

kami silent treatment lang din muna para palipasin lang muna yung sama ng loob namin pareho. kasi mahirap pag di pa kami nag-co-cool down ng konti lalo lumalala away namin.

[ana mimi]

silent treatment at first. cool down muna kayong dalawa.. kapag ok ka na, kausapin mo na, gamitan ng lambing. wag magtataas ng boses.

tandaan, kapag galit ka, wala kang makikitang tama.. lahat ng makikita mo, mali lang,, kaya relax ka muna.

[maj.mendoza]

true..ang saya [textspeak!] [textspeak!] s girltalk..kht my prob s hauz nshishare [textspeak!]..hays..boys [textspeak!]..

[aquacharly]

Nowadays, I put the issue on the table en punto.
Whether we continue to disagree or come to a detente -- it does not matter -- I do not take it personally.. meaning, respect each other's position.   

If there is something I do which bugs him,  well, live with it I say -- I am what I am.  i will change when I decide it is in my better interests.  So, it goes the other way too.  If there is some habit of his that bugs me... I do not  sweat the small stuff ika nga.

[mikelly]

write in your journal sis..or if you don not have one yet or do not want to keep one..write it in any paper, pour your heart out. you could just tjrow it away if you do not want to keep a record of it .
i cry too....

I do it, too. It heals me better.

[chiepao]

ako, feeling ko naman I'm not the nagger type.. pero may times talaga na sa sobrang misunderstanding namin nagkakasagutan kami and it really hurts a lot syempre. Pero most of the time, kapag di ko na kaya, I keep silent nalang, and my hubby always know what to do to make me feel better again 

[emmie]

Initially I cried in silence.

But what I did not forget was to pray to God.  It came to a point where I was visiting the church just to sit and find solitude, and then before I leave, I would light a candle and then say the same prayer - Lord enlighten me and my husband that we may find it in our hearts to have love, peace and harmony in our marriage.

Mommy Fe

hi guys.. i was really moved by this message. i experienced this. kahit [textspeak!] sobrang lasing ako sa daming problema i walked my way to the nearest church. i was just there, crying.. crying my heart out. calling for help...

[fegloria1954]

emmie,

Going to church and just sitting there - even when there is no church service going on - is something that gives me peace.  I do not really go there just to pray.

Sometimes I would just sit there and watch the birds fly around in the ceiling of the church, or listen to the faint sound of the church choir practicing their songs, or watch the cleaners progress with their mops from the front of the church to the back of the church.  All that seemingly passive activity of listening and watching calms me. 

Then when I am already feeling calm, I stand up and get out of the row of pew I was at, and a feeling of deep gratitude fills me, and my attention gets riveted to the bank of lighted candles at one corner of the church.  So I go there and stand just looking at the candles, and then I find myself praying, after which I light a candle or two.

Then I go back home, bright and shiny and renewed, again.

[mchummy]

tahimik lang, kasi pag galit ka may mga words na lalabas sa yo na foul na.after nun kukuha ako ng notebook then magsusulat. Isusulat ko dun lahat ng sama ng loob ko, mahirap kasi kung kikimkimin mo sya.

[DaintyMaia]

yes, count up to ten before saying anything. Anyone has the tendency to say harsh things when upset and it will give you time to reflect..know when to say sorry, hindi naman kasi ibig sabihin na ikaw na ang may mali kapag nag-sorry ka

[happybee$$$]

Kain galore, tamad magwork kaya we go out and shop na lang ng anak ko and since mahilig siya sa fruits pag nag-away kami pag uwi niya wala siyang maaasahan hahaha

[glarivethjolema]

minsan umiiyak tapos pag masama talaga loob ko na hindi ko naman masabi sa notebook ko nilalagay lahat para at least gumaan pakiramdam ko...

[iristacey]

ako i really am silent kapag naiinis/galit. hindi rin ako masyado nakikipag-usap and won't look at him in the eye. husband will notice the difference and siya na mismo magtatanong what's wrong. at times, iniiyak ko. so far puro mababaw na reason pa lang naman yung nagiging tampuhan namin and wala pang 1 day, we are ok na.
crying really help me release stress i try to tell everything in a nice way when we talk. minsan si hubby pa mag-eencourage na sabihin lahat kasi dapat walang sikreto pero sometimes, ayoko magsalita ng bagay na baka ipagsisi ko sa huli. so very careful ako sa pagbitiw ng salita. hehe