Cheap Men

[mooncake and leaves]

^^ Even if you're in the US, same first date rule applies. Succeeding dates-negotiable. Medyo mas upfront kasi dito about one's economic status. I had a relationship na throughout nearly 3 years, ni isang beses, di ko naranasang magbayad for dates. My current bf naman, like I said, we went dutch first date. Iba iba.

For me, sa nangyari sa yo, didn't really like how awkward he made you feel. Tipong he made a big show pa of how he wasn't willing to pay for dinner. Tapos may speech pa. Nyikes.

[nageinna]

i share the same view as sis badmonkey. IMO, the guy should always offer to pay on dates. it says a lot about them. with my current bf, when we were still dating, he pays. he won't accept kapag nag sshare ako sa bill. and even nung naging kami na ayaw niya ako yung pinapabayad. there came a point pa nga na nag away pa kami dahil ayaw niya ko pabayarin. so ginagawa ko pag hindi niya alam pinapasok ko yung money sa bag niya. pumapayag lang yun manlibre ako pag mga cheap dates lang. yung tipong date lang sa fishball stand. dun ko rin nalaman na yung pag ooffer nya to pay for our dates eh hindi lang pa pogi points kundi sincere din pala kasi he remained consistent pag dating sa pag sshoulder ng bills. but nakakahiya rin talaga pag siya lagi nag ppay kahit na super tagal na kami as a couple. well-off naman family niya but still ayaw ko naman isipin niya or magbigay ako ng impression na dependent ako sa kanya financially.

[choco_mint]

grabe sis, nakakahiya sya!  naku, if i were in your place, di ko siguro mapipigilan mag react..and if he asks me out again, i'll tell him flat out that i don't date cheapskates! 

[beautiful lady]

nakakahiya nga siya...and he's so makapal...but mga sis...this was NOT our first date...

in fairness, he did pay for our first date... but the second date, i saw him a little hesistant to pay...but he still paid.... this is our third and final date... where i had to foot the freaking bill...


i just don't think so....

mga sis, as a rule of thumb, what should be the protocol?  and, what is the protocol these days?

[beautiful lady]

sis mooncake, you're right... nag speech pa.... i almost told him straight that he's not a man...but i did make a comment in passing that "i never ever had to do this..pay for a man's food on a date"

ahah ha... after his speech of course

[mooncake and leaves]

^ wait, akala ko first date nangyari ang karumal-dumal na pagtanggi sa bill. saan ka sa US?

[beautiful lady]

san francisco... no, it's not the first date  LOL

but still.... and this last 3rd date...it was for his birthday so i guess he felt i should take him out

but the week prior, it was my birthday and he didnt do anything special for me



it's like it's all about him...

[beautiful lady]

you can tell may pagka cheap because on the second date, parang gusto niya ako magbayad...but i didnt

am i too harsh?

[mooncake and leaves]

^ Ok I'm from the south. And based on the comments I got from the guys I dated and including the bf, they really don't like girls who feel they ought to be pampered. Something, they said and I quote, "california girls are predisposed to." Maybe that explains the unwillingness on his part. You're dating. He's not courting you. So unforch, that's how some guys see it.

Still, there are guys that don't do that. Sa akin naman kasi, there are really not a lot of hard and fast rules when it comes to dating. But if you didn't like his approach, you are in no way obligated to keep seeing him. Minus minus his reaction talaga eh hehe

[beautiful lady]

^ok, i just feel like when you are dating or courting, it's almost the same thing, isn't it?  the guy asked me out because he's interested ...but you are right that i am not obliged to date him.  i can understand maybe if it's been at least 3 months we have been dating and i would of course pay for some things but not on the 3rd date...although it was his birthday...still.... he should have taken me out

i dont know...maybe it's because i am used to being taken out...and a man not expecting me or taking my offer to pay...

[mooncake and leaves]

^ there's a difference. courting you would translate to him wooing you. dating each other would mean you're trying each other out.

[beautiful lady]

oh okay... thanks for clarifying that... : )

dating, such a quizzical thing.... it's so complicated....

[badmonkey]

You know, sis beautiful lady, ang mali sa sitwasyon mo is yung approach nya idagdag mo pa yung move nya after mo magbayad ng bill.

Paying on the 3rd date is ok for me pero yung sitwasyon mo is napaka-awkward. Para talagang inobliga ka nya magbayad and he didn't even tried to go dutch. At least bayaran man lang nya kinain nya.

I'm going out with a non-Filipino guy, 3rd date din namin last Xmas day and here how it goes:

1st date: wala ako ginastos ni piso sa date.

2nd date: sa bahay ko sya dumalaw so nagpreprare ako ng food pero may pasalubong sya for me.

3rd date: It's a whole day affair. He paid for breakfast and nagdala ng snacks sa beach. Nung lunch time na, mineet namin friends ko. So parang lunch with my friends. Nag-insist ako na  I will pay for it. Why? 1st, nahihiya ako sabihin sa kanya ang amount kase I have to say it dahil dutch kami ng friends ko. Alam nyo yun, yung tipon ididivide namin ang bill depending on what eat. What I did is I pay for everything then later since I lived close to my friends house, dun sila nagbayad sa akin. 2nd, because I want to. I really want to pay for his food.

After that lunch, he bought me a Xmas gift, ice cream, and water. So feeling ko, sinuklian din nya yung nilibre ko sa kanya ng higit pa.

Walang hard feelings for me na nilibre ko sya for lunch. Happy ako. Alam ko kase na hindi nya ako inaabuso at hindi makapal ang face nya.

[beautiful lady]

^there you go, there's the difference between the guys we are dating...  mine is super makapal... like i think that's what i feel badly about...like i was really expected to pay...

which for me equals to a guy who is not a gentleman and i'm just going to forget this bad experience...but yes, i for one, also do not mind paying as i can see how it will be too taxing on the guy to shoulder everything...

but definitely, if he almost demands i pay...then it's like for me, forget it

[showermist]

i find it normal.  if he initiates, he would pay the bill on your first date. succeeding dates-its usually sharing na. same case happens to lots of my friends. some complained too.  but hey, girls should not just be receiving. 

if you don't like cheapo--don't date a cheapo.  but usually, cheapo is good with money  
and those that  usually swiped it marami utang hehe

[cherub.rock]

1st  bf -- sooo cheap. 70 to 80 % of the time ako palagi gumagastos. nakakafrustrate to think i was only 18 years old then and he was like.. 22?! damn. hiniwalayan ko talaga.

2nd bf -- 50-50 kami. he is kuripot din but better than 1st bf. he spends for me especially on food.. and i spend for him as well. when we dine out, sometimes we split the bill or alternate kami, like this week ako magbabayad and next week, siya. when i got a job, i pay for most of our dates na. he is jobless pa din. he was more generous during the courting stage though but i also don't want him to think i am a freeloader so i always offer to pay.

current 'fling' -- super galante. for the first time i experienced what it's like to have a guy pay for almost everything when we are together. nahihiya na nga ako. i always offer to pay din but he refuses. i don't want to abuse. there was one time we decided to meet at this specific place and mas nauna ako dun so i decided to eat while waiting for him because i was super hungry that time and i know he already came from a party so he had dinner na. so i ordered my meal and he only got dessert when he arrived. i was thinking ako na rin ang magbabayad sa dessert niya just so i can treat him this time for a change. when i asked for the bill, he insisted paying. nahiya talaga ako and we were even arguing over the bill na. the waitress was already grinning but medyo nagalit na siya bec. he said he doesn't want arguing over such thing in public daw. in the end, he payed for my meal and refused to take the cash i gave him and left it on the table. of course, kinuha ko nalang yung cash. hahaha. i was sooo turned on. napa-wow talaga ako.

[ana mimi]

splitting the bill lalo na sa 1st day is a turn off..

naku may naka-date na ako na ganyan.. wala talagang pera tapos yaya pa ng yaya.. nanligaw pa sya, wala naman pala syang pera. e ever since naman alam nya na high maintenance ako..

[barbwire]

my officemate set me up with her friend. first date namen sa mall watch daw kami movie, ok lang naman. after that sabi niya nahulog daw wallet niya sa bus, pero sa kuwento niya kung paano nahulog hindi believable. kaso we are there at the mall so ako na nagbayad ng tickets for the movie. bumili din ako ng soft drinks pero hindi ko siya binilhan, kasi naiinis ako. halata naman na nagdahilan lang siya para malibre. after the movie, he was asking what to do next sabi ko uwian na. so nagpaalam na ako at umalis na. feeling ko he wants to have dinner pa, hello i will use my money for him, kapal ng mukha niya.

when i met my officemate sabi daw ni guy, labas daw ulit kami. sabi ko kay officemate busy na ako. sobrang kulit ni guy, kaya si officemate ko and another friend of ours ang pumunta to meet the guy. pagdating nila sa mall the guy wants to play bowling, agree naman si officemate. when they were at the place already sabi daw ni guy he forgot to withdraw sa atm. in short wala siya ulit pera. so, no choice my officemate paid for their bowling game.

[ana mimi]

kapal naman ng face nyan sis.. kalOka.. 

gwapo naman ba??

[barbwire]

^ kapal talaga sis. yung officemate ko finds him gwapo; maputi, matangkad, chinito. pero ako hindi agree sa officemate ko kasi ang naaalala ko sa kanya physically eh yung brownish color ng lahat ng front teeth niya. (eww.. tignan) that is another reason kaya never na ako nagkipagkita.