Cheap Men

[beautiful lady]

...ladies, have you ever dated a man who is cheap?

for me, men who are cheap usually are a big turn off.

like those who expect to split the bill, he pays for one date, you pay for the other...

have you ever dated one of these?  and when dating, should a man expect a lady to pay?

 

if he was a real gentleman, he wouldnt expect a lady to pay.

[caterpillar-girl]

I have never heard of a man expecting a girl to pay. Men might expect a girl to at least OFFER to pay, but never to REALLY pay.

Aynaku I have dated so many cheapo guys. The cheapest dude I ever dated borrowed money from me when his car broke down and got towed along EDSA WHILE he was bringing me home. Can you imagine? So I paid for it, and then the next day, he gave me back a full 1K bill AND he asked for change since 850 lang naman daw yung total the previous night. Of course I never went out with him again.

Tapos there's this other guy I took to meet some of my friends. While we were in the bar, he said he's going to order for all of us. So ako kala ko, wow elegante! A round of drinks on him! Yun pala ang inorder? Isang platitong mani! My gad my friends couldn't stop laughing.

Anyhow, seriously, I think the rule is, whoever does the asking should pay. Especially if you're still in the dating/ligawan stage. My bf and I split the bill sometimes, or sometimes he pays for dinner, I pay for movie. I think that's just fair. Pero that's because matagal na kami, wala na kami sa ligawan stage. We don't naman bring out our calculators and split 50-50. Sometimes he gives more, sometimes he gives ALL, sometimes ako. It works out pretty well.

[jojo2978]

Safest is kung sino nag aya siya magbayad or at least ready to pay for the cost of the date.

Sa mga kapwa ko lalaki, kung wala kayo pera, sabihin ninyo beforehand, kaysa naman mag expect kasama nyo.

[luisacart]

the guy i'm currently is like that. lol sa lahat ng naka-date ko siya lang ang nag-aya ng dutch. i think it's because he has a very type A personality, eh kaka-graduate lang ng university so i think nagbabayad pa siya ng student loan. it's not like he's poor naman kasi he's an officer in the navy and he doesn't support his family. may pagka-OC nga lang talaga. which is weird bec i'm the capricorn and he's the libra lololol.. baliktad!

[beautiful lady]

thank you all very much for the replies....  : )


the thing is ligawan stage is where we are at and it's like i have this inkling he wants me to pay ...ugh!  at this point, i want to stop dating him without looking bitter.  he texts me but i am trying to show him i am no longer interested.  like i wait for hours before responding and when i do, it's very minimal and it requires no response but still he's persistent. 

anyway, he's not for me this particular guy.  cheap @s$ and i think he's so makapal for even asking me out.   

mga sis, will i look bitter if i completely stop dating him?  it's because the last date we had, i actually paid because he told me that nowadays daw, it's not all the guy anymore.  kapal, right?

so i of course played it off as if i was not hurt/disappointed/appalled/embarassed that i as a female had to opay for his food... gross....he has no kahihiyan... he's not a man...

what do you all think?  how can i do it so it's not so obvious that  this last date was the absolute last straw.


i think he knows i'm so affected because i'm not as talkative nor do i respond to his texts anymore.

[caterpillar-girl]

No I don't think you'll look bitter. Eh you didn't like him eh, what can you do. It would be completely understandable if you never want to see him again. And really I don't think you should mind whatever he might think. Sino ba sya, he's not important naman in your life. I'm super curious how he made you pay. Was it like, "Can you foot the bill?" or like, "Paano ba yan, ikaw na muna taya.."

I can't imagine talaga. You  must have been flabbergasted. If he just happened to forget his wallet at home, ok pa eh. I might even find that cute if he were apologetic and all. But to expect you to pay, AFTER he asked you out, wow, kups yan ha. In my head I'd be like, okay I'll pay, but after this, baboo! 

[nageinna]

LOL, ako rin sis beautiful lady, how did he ask you to shoulder the bill? nacurious din ako. kapal to the highest level yun ha. and i think sis ok lang yun if you tell him straight na ayaw mo na again to date him. siya pa nga dapat mahiya sa ginawa niya.

for me major turn off talaga pag umpisa palang kayo ganun na. like what sis caterpillar girl said, pag matagal na kayo ok lang yun pero pag mga first stage palang or ligawan stage palang, big no no for me eh.

[beautiful lady]

thank you ladies for justifying my feeling towards this "she" man...

this is how it went down.... we were having dinner at a resto on a date he asked me to go on.... after dinner, we had a couple drinks each then when the night was pretty much over, the waitress asked us if we wanted to box up some of the leftover food etc and if we needed anything else...then she asked if we wanted our bill...he said yes...

so when the bill came it just sat there.... for what felt lke the longest 5 mintues of my life... he then went to the restroom...and when he came back...i went.... and the bill was still there...so i said..."let's go..".... and then he lifted the bill envelope and he was just looking at it....                                         

i felt so awkward so i said...oh ok...here let me get that...because he wasnt budging.... and he actually made me pay

i was so upset but more embarssed for myself that i had to pay for a man's food on a date he asked me on!  he's so makapal....

he then proceeded to make a commentary on nowadays how men and women are equal footing when it comes to paying the bill on dates...he's not a gentleman...

he said women nowadays usually share with their date in paying....

i dont know but is this the norm now?  i mean it's just good manners on my part to at least offer --but actually, not really coz he asked me out.... but he should not really take my offer to pay

forget it..... i'm not going to talk to him anymore....so should i just stop responding to his texts cold turkey and stop answering his calls?  just disappear?

[beautiful lady]

the way i see it, his feelings are not really deep for me...because if it was, then he would not make me pay...it's so not a man thing to do

that's why it's so good that i dont feel anything for him.... is that how a man can expect to impress  .... he's so mean!  he actually made me pay.....aarrghhhh!

[mooncake and leaves]

^ nah, never mind the dude. i think the way he didn't make a move to pay was a clear indication how big of a cheapskate (and a freeloader) he is. tapos jinustify pa?
tsk tsk.

i think ok lang to go dutch on a first date. this is, however, a big mistake on the part of a guy and my very own bf made this huge error on our very first date. pasalamat siya considerate ako. bumawi naman on all our other dates after. but I agree with the girls-a man should always volunteer to pay for the first date, especially if he was the one who asked. dutch is ok but you don't just get pogi points whenever you do that.

[bravo86]

so should i just stop responding to his texts cold turkey and stop answering his calls?  just disappear?

Yes! Yes! and Yes!

ang quopal ng owgook na yon ah. 

don't entertain such guys. walang kwenta mga yon. sayang lang oras nyo.
kahit na mas pogi pa sa akin yan, sisantihin mo na. sakit lang sa ulo ibibigay sa yo nun.
 
ako nga mahirap pa sa daga but i don't even go Dutch on dates kahit na ang gurl ang magyaya.
di bale na prangkahin ko sya sumakay na lang ng jeep (kesa mag taxi) basta ako pa rin ang magbayad.
di bale na kumain ng husto ang ka date ko at juice na lang ang sa akin, basta ako pa rin ang taya.

kung ayaw mong palitan ang SIM card mo, (pag ni-confront ka in person) tell him na wala kang load at di mo hawak cp mo kaya di ka makapag-reply/answer his calls. di kaya katulong nyo o kapitbahay pasagutin sa calls nya para mabawasan load ng quopahl.

[beautiful lady]

^thanks bro.. you are a sweet guy i wish he was like that.  and the thing is, he's very well off.  : (

maybe he can see im also doing well in my life and equally as successful so he feels i should foot the bill too when we go out.... hes such a turn off...

more than anything, i'm just disappointed

[badmonkey]

beautiful lady, well off pa sya sis ha! Tapos simpleng date lang hindi nya mabayaran. Dump him! If ligawan stage pa lang hindi ka na nya tinatrato ng maayos, paano pa pag matagal na kayo?

On first date, I expect my date to pay for it. Parang it's a norm na boys ang taya sa first date except na lang if it's a whole day affair. Yun bang marami kaming pagkakagastusan, for sure, I will insist to pay something.

Sa succeeding dates namin, hangga't posible lagi na ako magbibigay ng share sa expenses pero still I expect him not to let me pay for everything. Mahihiya din naman ako kung laging sya na lang ang taya sa lahat ng bagay.

[beautiful lady]

 

beautiful lady,
Sa succeeding dates namin, hangga't posible lagi na ako magbibigay ng share sa expenses pero still I expect him not to let me pay for everything. Mahihiya din naman ako kung laging sya na lang ang taya sa lahat ng bagay.

^hi sis...per the above, so are you saying na if we do continue dating... which i will not do anymore.... even if it is just the "ligawan" stage, i should pay for some dates?  is that the norm?  because from what i am getting from other girltalkers and hopefully i'm understanding it correctly, is that the guy should always foot the bill especially since he is asking me out on dates and well...u would think he would pay since he wants to impress the girl.

this is a good learning tool for future men i plan to date...

imo, the guy should always pay until you officially become a couple... whether it takes 6 or more months... the girl should offer but he should never really expect the girl to pay...

or, is it okay to pay because it's unfair if he always pays?  :/

[badmonkey]

Hindi ko na alam ang current trend ng "dating" sa Pinas since I've been away for quite sometime. The last time I was actively dating sa Pinas was when I was in college pa.

Eto opinyon ko ...

On our first date, I would expect the guy to treat me and shoulder the bill. Sa mga succeeding dates, I will still expect him to pay pero mag-ooffer na ako to pay for something like if we go for coffee/movie after dinner. If hindi nya tanggapin, plus pogi points yun kase it's a sign na pinaghandaan nya ang lakad namin.

If we are dating several months and hindi pa din kami, mahihiya na ako kung hindi pa din ako mag-se-share sa bill. I would really insist na. Alam naman natin na hindi ganun kadali ang buhay sa Pinas. Kung sakaling mayaman ang dine-date ko, ayaw kong isipin nya na freeloader ako. Kung sakaling maginoo at mayaman talaga sya at hindi nya talaga tanggapin ang share ko, I will give something in return, kahit ano lang basta masuklian ko yung effort nya sa panlilibre sa akin.

imo, the guy should always pay until you officially become a couple... whether it takes 6 or more months... the girl should offer but he should never really expect the girl to pay...

or, is it okay to pay because it's unfair if he always pays?  :/

Whenever I go out on a date, I expect the guy to be ready to pay for the date.  I will offer to pay for a portion of it pero I don't want to pay for EVERYTHING.

I believe na sa ligawan portion it's the time na makilala nyo ang isa't isa. Alam naman natin na hindi lang tayo ang pwedeng ma-turn off, even ang mga guys pwede din ma-turn off sa girls na nililigawan nila. If I expect the guy to always pay for everything sa courtship stage, does it mean, ang tatanggapin ko lang na manliligaw is yung "mayaman"? As we all know, going out on a regular basis is not really cheap in Philippines except if hindi peso ang kinikita nya.

For me, it's unfair for him to still pay for everything after the first three dates kase ayokong maging pabigat sa kanya. Mas ok na yung share share kami kesa naman lagi nga nya ako nililibre nung nanliligaw pa sya, pag naging kami naman, ubos na pera nya at hindi na nya ako mailibre.

[bravo86]

because from what i am getting from other girltalkers and hopefully i'm understanding it correctly, is that the guy should always foot the bill especially since he is asking me out on dates and well

makaluma na kung makaluma ako, basta ang position ko, "the guy should ALWAYS foot the bills"!

bahala na kung isang bote ng softdrinks lang ang kaya kong bilhin. kuha na lang ako ng dalawang straw at mag-share kami. romantic pa ang dating di ba? oha?

basta, di kaaya-aya tingnan pag makita mo ang gurl na bumumunot ng pera, nag-aabot ng pera/credit card sa waiter... nagbabayad ng pamasahe.
marami akong nakikitang ganung situation, kung di bakla, matronix byuti ang babae.

[Mai]

Haha reading the posts above made me think na baka yung isang guy friend namin ang involved! Is there any chance that the guy you're referring to is a tall bachelor sporting a bald head? Hehe

[FOURever]

^hala. Hehe

Grabe. Naalala ko nung ligawan kami ni bf.. Sya talaga nagbabayad. Pero syempre nung kami na, nag iinsist na rin ako. Gusto ko din magshare eh.

[beautiful lady]

i'm sorry mga sis, we are in the U.S.  so maybe that's why it's alittle different here... but still... i'm so turned off that i never want to see him again

[pomegranate]

^ I see, medyo iba nga siguro jan but in general, men view the dating stage as the a peacock stage, showing their feathers instead of ruffling others'. Kung liberal talaga ang view niya, he should at least be decent enough to go for dutch. From what I understand, he maintains that men are equals of women, not whimps and punies. Well-off pa siya sa lagay na yan, and dating stage pa lang . . . A man like that does not deserve even your slightest thoughts kaya don't mind appearing bitter. After all, wala kang utang sa kanya.