Author Topic: to all civil married, may plan pa rin ba kayo ni hubby magpakasal sa church?  (Read 50252 times)

glyzza026

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sana someday church wedding naman. Pag ok na ang budget :)

go sis.kami din nagcivil muna last year dahil kailangan na bumalik agad ni hubby sa korea for work.kaya nagchurch wedding kami this year na.last march lang.hayy iba talaga feeling while walking down the aisle.
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iammechelle

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May balak kami ni hubby magpakasal sa church. sa ngayon hindi pa pwede. He needs to be absolved by the Pope. He was a priest.
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ajcruz

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Sadly hanggang plan nalang siguro :( or maybe in my dreams,  maybe every womans dream lang talaga ito na lumakad sa dambana, to feel they are loved, important and honored, and if it happened I can die after :'(

Napangakuan ni hubby ng plans nya twice but forgets it, now it's not his priority or "Im not his priority" but our kids expensive education and buying a new expensive car. His hard working and family man (this should be another topic like tampo k hubby noh hehe).

If for some this is not a big deal, I don't understand why is this for me, if there's a pill I could take to renew my mind not to desire it. In short , this result to me - not do not like seeing wedding pics or wedding news I am feeling a deep and unexplained sadness like I want to passed out sometimes and find myself crying out of depression. Does anyone experience this?
There are times Im thinking padin "How do I look or how does it feel wearing a wedding gown" or hindi sana ako dumadating sa very sad phase everytime dumadating ang anniv month namin - gusto ko nalang lumipas na (it's approaching again kasi sorry for venting out ;( this may help me,  i have never opened this to anybody)

izabelle

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Usually kasi (not applicable for all ha), kapag may baby na nag iiba ng priorities talaga, so imbes na gastusin pera sa wedding, syempre sa baby na napupunta. Which is dapat lang naman unless may sobra sobra kayong pera.

I have a friend who always dreamed na magchurch wedding pero hindi na natupad and now they have 3 kids na so mas lalong nawala sa usapan ang church wedding.

Personally, i don't mind civil man or church kasi ang importante sa akin ay sino ang papakasalan ko. I have been married to my husband for 4 yrs now, church wedding kami Pero before kasi when we were still saving for our wedding open kami mag civil wedding. Kung ano pasok sa budget ok sa amin yon.

We have this rule when we were planning na kung ano ang pasok sa budget yun ang gagawin namin. Hindi namin ipipilit ang hindi namin kaya.

Plus priority din namin non na may house kami after the wedding, i dont like the idea na bongga kasal pero walang sarili bahay after or puro utang naman. (well its just me ha), for me kasi wedding e 1 day lang yan, iba ang marriage talaga.. Its a lifetime. at mas magastos after the wedding e so mas yon ang dapat paghandaan.
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BDJ

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ajcruz I think it is normal to feel that way. Parang debut lang yan na you want it because you are valuing yourself as a woman with pride the fact na you are walking in the aisle wearing a gown while people are looking at you with respect. And of course nandahil rin yan sa nakasanayan na at naging normal ng magkaroon ng bonggang wedding. Aminin na natin na nadadala pa rin tayo sa influence ng karamihan. If that is the case then why don't you try na lang sa 25th wedding anniversary niyo?

izabelle I totally agree with you mas importante yung taong pakakasalan mo. May mga narinig na rin akong instances na inutang pa ang bonggang kasal.  :o I mean wow parang life and death situation na you will die kapag hindi bongga ang kasal mo o kapag hindi ka nagsuot ng magarang damit.

In our case we can have church wedding sana kaso si hubby lang kasi hindi mahanap yung baptismal certificate niya. Kung may problema yung kanya hindi na ako nag abala na hanapin yung akin. So nag Civil wedding na lang kami. Aaminin ko na kahit simple lang mas mahal pa rin ang Church wedding compare to civil because of the requirements and of course isama mo pa na pati wedding ring kakailanganin rin. But honestly kung hindi lang nagkaproblema si hubby pwede talaga kaming mag church wedding in a sense na pwede itong maging casual na parang civil. Dati na namin napagplanuhan na Church kami na parang civil then ang gastos sa honeymoon. But of course due to budget wala nang honeymoon.

Honestly narealize ko parang mas gusto ko pa ang civil rather than church wedding. Sa akin lang ito at opinion ko lang ito pero for me talaga it makes more sense to me saka iisa lang naman rin ang babagsakan nun kundi sa civil registry. The advantage of being in church wedding of course you feel na you are being blessed, ayoko lang kasi minsan na maghomily yung pari eh! pero depende.

For now magulo lang talaga isip ko if I want this or not anymore. Sometimes gusto ko pa pero after 10 years pero at times parang ayoko na nga not because of the budget pero I hate the fact na ginagawang bragging purposes ang kasal tapos nagiging issue pa. Gusto ko pa nga minsan kapag nag church wedding ako as in Church lang pero walang reception  ;D Kasi as if naman yung iba yung kasal mo mismo ang inaabangan nila pero siempre reception lang rin habol nila.

After all decision ko pa rin naman ang inaabangan ng husband ko if I still want it or not saka gusto ko rin patunayan sa iba na it is not about the church wedding na isang araw lang naman. Hindi naman yung mismong kasal ang magdadala sa pag-aasawa habang buhay eh! It is formality to begin with para maging legal ang pagsasama niyo.

imeego

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married for 4 years now, civil wedding lang din..why? my hubby wanted us to get married asap right after our exam (5 months bf-gf pa lang kami that time), so we didn't have time to prepare for a church wedding, AND, dahil kaka-take pa lang namin ng exam at jobless pa, wala pa kami budget for that ;D gusto namin magpakasal para madala nya ako dito sa cebu, sabi namin, to follow na lang church wedding namin..pero nag-iiba nga ang priorities pag may kids na..he's been working for 4 years now, at inuna namin na makapag-ipon for our own house and lot..modesty aside, kahit ongoing ang construction ng house ngayon, kung gugustuhin namin, pwede na kami magpa-church wedding dahil keri na ng budget pero ewan ko ba, parang mas gusto kong gastusan na lang ang 2 kids namin..siguro, sa 10th year na lang namin ;D

ajcruz

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ajcruz I think it is normal to feel that way. Parang debut lang yan na you want it because you are valuing yourself as a woman with pride the fact na you are walking in the aisle wearing a gown while people are looking at you with respect. And of course nandahil rin yan sa nakasanayan na at naging normal ng magkaroon ng bonggang wedding. Aminin na natin na nadadala pa rin tayo sa influence ng karamihan. If that is the case then why don't you try na lang sa 25th wedding anniversary niyo?
it's a nice feeling din pala pag may nagrereply sa post mo dito feeling valued to spend a little time and listen to since I dont have really close friends to talk to and did not even open this to any fam members - just myself hayz;(
salamat BDJ ; ) yes it's a nice suggestion, i thought about that before when I saw bong and lani's 25th, she's still slim and pretty as before parang walang 8 na anak  :D

Girltalker2

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If for some this is not a big deal, I don't understand why is this for me, if there's a pill I could take to renew my mind not to desire it. In short , this result to me - not do not like seeing wedding pics or wedding news I am feeling a deep and unexplained sadness like I want to passed out sometimes and find myself crying out of depression. Does anyone experience this?


I think sis, this is a "want" on your part, and not a need.  Pero naiintindihan ko, and I partly agree with you, 99% of the women out there dreams of walking down the aisle made up and all.

When you got married, did you not think that it was important to you?  Kasi for me, it was a consideration.  While my BF then proposed to me 3x, nung unang 2x eh di papasa kasi wala pa kaming ipon.  Kasi I knew I wanted a wedding.  I knew kung hindi kami ikasal sa church, baka hindi nanga ever makakasal sa church.

Pero sis, bottomline is ang mahalaga ang pagsasama ninyo. Mas mahalaga ito kesa sa wedding.  Kung masaya ka na ngayon sa hubby mo, do not ever let this feeling get into the way.  Ikaw gumawa ng paraan.  Hindi naman purkit wedding eh yung lalaki lahat gagastos.  Puede mo rin naman pag ipunan.  Tsaka ano ba gusto mong wedding, maraming tao din nakapaligid sa inyo?  Kasi sometimes there are just other things you can do to compensate for this. For example, you can go to a resort at dun kayo mag organize ng wedding. Resorts do offer this (Phuket, Bali, Elnido, Krabi, etc).  As in kayo kayo lang. Mga resort attendants ang witness ninyo.  Tapos direcho honeymoon if you like :D Kapag kasama kids, puedeng family bonding. I frequent resorts kasi, nakikita ko iyan sa mga di pa nakasal sa church or sometimes may iba addict lang sa wedding hehe.  I met a couple na ugali daw nila magpakasal sa bawat country they have been to haha.  Kasi they really enjoy the resort, the company, the romance, kaya lagi sila nagpapakasal.  :D

Noong araw, may RTW for wedding gowns, I used to go there nung nag iisip palang ako ng style ng gown ko for my wedding. Hala, half day to 1 whole day ata ako dun since I tried as many gowns as I can. I am not sure kung meron pa ngayon nito, I supposed meron pa?   Another idea, puede din naman kayo mag photo op ni hubby. Plan it for your wedding anniv.  Hair and make up ka, magrent kayo ng gowns then magpapicture to sawa sa studio.  ;D





Napangakuan ni hubby ng plans nya twice but forgets it, now it's not his priority or "Im not his priority" but our kids expensive education and buying a new expensive car. His hard working and family man (this should be another topic like tampo k hubby noh hehe).


Oh well. Guess what. Ako bongga ang church wedding.  Pero hindi naman naglast ang marriage. So balewala din naman. I would rather not have a church wedding but a happy marriage.  alam mo yun, sometimes we have a tendency to look for something na wala.

Naalala ko din hubby ko nagpromise sakin ng diamond ring na napako sa wala. Kasi our wedding ring studded na sya so we thought yun na muna.  Sabi ko kahit wala naman engagement ring, ok na sakin yung studded as engagement ring, kahit hindi na yung solitaire.  Sabi nya, he wants daw to buy me one.  Hanggang sa kinasal na kami and all, nag antay lang ako, pero wala. So ang ginawa ko, I eventually saved and bought myself one. hehe  Kung ayaw nya, huwag pilitin. Pero with my solitaire now, I am glad I bought one. Kasi our marriage ended din naman. So kung sakali binili nyako, then kelangan ko pa isoli sa kanya haha.


married for 4 years now, civil wedding lang din..why? my hubby wanted us to get married asap right after our exam (5 months bf-gf pa lang kami that time), so we didn't have time to prepare for a church wedding, AND, dahil kaka-take pa lang namin ng exam at jobless pa, wala pa kami budget for that ;D gusto namin magpakasal para madala nya ako dito sa cebu, sabi namin, to follow na lang church wedding namin..pero nag-iiba nga ang priorities pag may kids na..he's been working for 4 years now, at inuna namin na makapag-ipon for our own house and lot..modesty aside, kahit ongoing ang construction ng house ngayon, kung gugustuhin namin, pwede na kami magpa-church wedding dahil keri na ng budget pero ewan ko ba, parang mas gusto kong gastusan na lang ang 2 kids namin..siguro, sa 10th year na lang namin ;D

Sis, ganyan na ganyan din kami dati. fresh out from college, gusto na magpakasal ng hubby ko. and I said NO. Kasi nga importante ang wedding for me.  Kaso at the end of the day, kahit pa walang church wedding, ang importante ang pagsasama ninyo.   And sometimes nasa sa iyo narin siguro.

For me naman now, since me and my ex separated ways, hindi nako nangangarap magchurch wedding. Feeling ko been there, done that. If ever I plan to settle down again, hindi na importante ang church wedding, mas importante talaga ang pagsasama namin.


ajcruz I think it is normal to feel that way. Parang debut lang yan na you want it because you are valuing yourself as a woman with pride


Iba sis, at least IMO. Iba ang debut. Debut 50% of women can live without.  A wedding?  99% cannot live without.  :)


Dati na namin napagplanuhan na Church kami na parang civil then ang gastos sa honeymoon. But of course due to budget wala nang honeymoon.

This is the one I regretted.  We did not have a honeymoon kasi sabi nga namin malaki na nagastos namin sa church wedding.  Pero if I am to do it over again. I'd rather have a honeymoon kesa sa church wedding. Taon taon na honeymoon is much much better than a one time church wedding.  ;D


For now magulo lang talaga isip ko if I want this or not anymore. Sometimes gusto ko pa pero after 10 years pero at times parang ayoko na nga not because of the budget pero I hate the fact na ginagawang bragging purposes ang kasal tapos nagiging issue pa. Gusto ko pa nga minsan kapag nag church wedding ako as in Church lang pero walang reception  ;D Kasi as if naman yung iba yung kasal mo mismo ang inaabangan nila pero siempre reception lang rin habol nila.


Ito sinasabi ko. Once na ikasal ka, ano ba gusto mo, makasuot lang ng gown and pics di ba?  hindi na yung handa di ba?  Kaya ko nasuggest kay sis ajcruz na baka mas mainam iplan nalang nila ang pictorial and all, without the reception.  :D




« Last Edit: July 03, 2014, 07:58:35 am by Girltalker2 »

ajcruz

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Hi sis Girltalker2 maraming salamat sa reply mo, very helpful all makes sense diko nalang maisaisa, parang nagpacounsel ako anonymously :D

Dealing with this again is not easy, yung hinuhukay ko ulit yung nilibing ko na sa limot pero actually diko talaga nakalimutan, I think this is helping me to face my regrets and my release narin;)

Yes, wants na lang ito on my part, kasama narin un broken promises, regrets din and what ifs.
We planned kasi garden wedding after the civil - he inquire na sa venue, and said tingin ka na ng gown, may nasabihan na na godparents and kay bf(hubby now) galing un thought na minsan lang maranasan ng babae. Then after the civil, there goes the unexpected - economically not possible na, got preggy etc. Diko na madetail;) pero looking back, if natuloy baka nagkautang utang lang when we're starting palang our new life together.
The second time my hubby mentioned na may plans cya na itutuloy namin, after a few months I god preggy again to our second, and now since early 30's nako mas hirap nako ilose tong post weight ;(  If now magmukha lang akong isang kabang bigas na nakawedding gown lol, maybe may post partum pa ako kaya ko naiisip ulit ito.

Sa pagdaan ng panahon naiba narin un ideas ko about the ceremony if ever, before we're young pa my idea was like "colorful and lively" but now I wanted nalang "solemn and elegant with very few special people". At the end of the day pala its not about them but it's about the two of us;) priorities change.

Nainspire din ako at nakarelate much sa wedding ni cacai velazquez, sabi kasi nya tuwing magplan sila nabubuntis cya;) and they had it with their 4 kids na;)

Thank you again Girltalker2 and sa TS. :)

brendzy

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Been 3 yrs married through civil rites, we had plan before to have church wedding but it had changed or rather postponed after having changes in our faith. So I hope we can have renewal of vow after 2 years for our 5th year anniversary. wala pang kids pero we want to prioritize bahay at lupa muna & of course savings. OK lang nman, although before I have second thought after nung civil wedding like I argued to him na dapat pala we demanded a church wedding blah blah hehe...
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FliPPy_LaDdY

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Gusto ko din makasal sa church pero intimate wedding affair lang. Ok na un  basta mabless na kami.. hay kelan naman kaya pwede mangyari yun..when you start having family nagiging least priority na yun kasi nga di praktikal gastos lang ulit.. =(

yn061515

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2 years kasal sa civil and fingers crossed na maging maayos yung pinaplanong Church wedding next year!  :)

Girltalker2

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I'd rather spend more on honeymoon kesa sa wedding. Pero siguro kasi na experience ko na mag church wedding before, then di naman nag workout. Kaya if ever I would splurge again on something, mas prefer ko gastusan nalang honeymoon kesa ibang tao. :)

yannuh

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2 years kasal sa civil and fingers crossed na maging maayos yung pinaplanong Church wedding next year!  :)

goodluck and best wishes sis :D
just know you can :)

barbillie

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We did. We had our church wedding on our first civil wedding anniversary.
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yn061515

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goodluck and best wishes sis :D

Thank you sis!  :)

barbramae

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Yes. especially kung catholic since important saten ang blessing ng church.

Kami, we're finally tying the knot sa church on Saturday, on our 2nd year civil wedding anniversary. Same date para less celebrations at gastos hehe

cherish_jd

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Re: to all civil married, may plan pa rin ba kayo ni hubby magpakasal sa church?
« Reply #237 on: November 14, 2019, 05:12:13 pm »
Share ko lang.
We had a secret wedding when I was 23 and he was 22 thru civil rites. As in kaming dalawa lang with two witness. That time, six months pa lang kami in our relationship but we are close friends na eversince. That time kasi mag apprentice na siya sa barko and ayaw niya mag start unless we get married. Our plan is mag pakasal kami sa church pag nakaipon. tee hee!. After that years passed na laging hindi natutuloy yung plan namin due to some circumstances. But finally on the 10th year of our marriage, natuloy na din yung church wedding which is naging more significant siya since it's our 10th anniversary.

That was the best decision that we've made since the following year, my father died of aneurysm. I'm happy that my father was able to walk me down the aisle because I think that it's their dream as well.

Anyway, as for my thoughts on having a church wedding, I think it's a personal choice. Ako kasi it's my dream ever since. Hindi big deal sakin na mag karoon nang celebration on my 18th birthday but walking down the aisle is my dream and I'm glad that my husband has the same thoughts.
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FayeP

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Re: to all civil married, may plan pa rin ba kayo ni hubby magpakasal sa church?
« Reply #238 on: November 15, 2019, 02:26:12 am »
Before meron plans but nagkasunod sunod na kasi ang mga junakis so postpone indef siya....
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leigh_iyah01

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Re: to all civil married, may plan pa rin ba kayo ni hubby magpakasal sa church?
« Reply #239 on: November 28, 2019, 10:16:55 am »
Buhayin ko lang ang thread na ito. Share ko lang. Hehe. :)

My bf and I are planning to have our civil wedding on February 2020. Mejo minadali kasi I'm already pregnant pero we are discussing to have our church wedding on 2021 after ma-expire contract niya abroad. I am actually feeling quite worried kasi feeling ko, may chances na hindi matuloy yung 2021 church wedding plan namin kasi we are also planning to have our own house and siyempre education ni baby. I am still positive ng konti na sana matuloy, kasi I also want to have a church blessing sa wedding ko. Feeling ko kasi iba yung feeling if you're married sa church. Iniisip ko na nga kung makalimutan niya, pwede ko kaya i-follow up? haha.. Or baka naman I'm too demanding. Or pwede rin na hindi ko pa masyado naffeel yung talagang priority ko kasi wala pa si baby. Baka paglumabas na si baby, hindi ko na rin maisip. I am just hoping for the best and to everyone here na gusto rin magka-Church wedding in the future. :-*

 


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