Marriage problems/issues/ complaints etc. pasok dito...

[Miss Granger]

Hi bro Dvl -

Take one thing at a time. Life is too short for people who give you unhappiness. Your kids would be better if you are happy in the long term, protect them from this kind of attitude and mindset. Do what is right and lawful to avoid complications. Give importance to your instincts. They say crying allows you to wash all the dirt from your eyes to see better. I am praying that you see the Lord's leading as you place everything in his hands. God bless you and your family bro.

[drinveilside]

here i am again

i guess this has been posted already but i am going to post it anyway

why does my wife feels as if i am like a sex addict everytime i want to have sex with her.


honestly its like a routine already she is saying that it hurts but she doesnt want to have it check.

She is trying to keep her youth no question about that but why does she think i am a maniac or something its not like i want it everyday ... in a month i am lucky if its 3 or 4 times...

I really dont understand why i find intimacy more with having sex with her and i get so fcking irritated if she says today but she finds away for it not to happen.

I mean i wont even say the things i do at home and what i give to her but it seems like she is reserving her self for other people to see that she is still young and blooming.

I understand girls want that but its not like i am a rapist or anything if anything i would be okay with a quick snack .... 

[mysterioza_me]

^Bro I?m sorry ha di ko sure if naintindihan ko mabuti. Ang intindi ko your wife refused to have sex because she wants to keep her youth and to look blooming, tama ba? Kung tama intindi ko eto lang masasabi ko, i?m not sure if its the same with other girls here pero ako personally feeling ko mas maganda ako and i feel sexier after sex. Iba ang glow at saya ng mukha post sex. Kaya nga siguro na coined yung term na mukhang bagong dilig kasi nakaka-fresh. Baka sadyang di lang mahilig wife mo, nagmemenopause or baka may ibang kinalolokohan.

[Evolet027]

^ agree. Either di mahilig sa sexy time si wifey or may ibang ka sexy time. 😳😳😳

[Girltalker2]

She is trying to keep her youth no question about that but why does she think i am a maniac or something its not like i want it everyday ... in a month i am lucky if its 3 or 4 times...

Well tell her that sex can make you look younger and less haggard.
She can read about it as it is all over the internet.

[drinveilside]

thank you so much for your replies,,

honestly she said that she isnt very sexual anymore because when were younger she had the urge and she is 36 menopausal period na ba yan ?

she actually said to me that if only she can she would but she wouldnt mind if i pay for sex because she cant give it atleast twice a week.

[mysterioza_me]

^Well may women na mas maaga magmenopause.

[Len0523]

I am also a partner, I am full time mom. There are days na sobrang pagod sa gawaing bahay at pag aalaga ng bata alone. My partner is working full time in the office. We?ve been together for six years and merong time talaga na walang gana mag make love. My ate mentioned that to me as well na after having 3 kids wala na yung sexual urge at yun ang madalas na pinag aawayan nila ng partner nya. Bakit daw nagpapaganda baka daw sa iba gusto mga ganoong arguments. I cannot defend naman the guytalker here nor the wife and compare naman sa 16 years mag seven years pa lang kami magkasama ng partner ko. Hindi rin perperkto pero pag gusto nya magmake love I cannot even recall na nagreject ako sa kanya nor nagreject sya pag nag initiate ako. Siguro dahil almost 7 years pa lang naman kami. Pero we know and we respect naman pag pagod or antok or we still have next time. So kung di pwede ng gabi, the next morning para full of energy. To me kase parang validation din sa mga lalake ang sex and active sex with their partner. So we both try to understand the sexual needs. Bakit ko ipagdadamot after all mahal ko naman sya and para sa masayang pagsasama namin kung may energy naman may time, so no excuse. Sana after 16 years ganun pa din. hehe

[AprilGal26]

Hi, ako naman personally, I think si wife is takot mabuntis (ulit?)
May friend kasi ako, super hot sya, then she became pregnant, medyo nalosyang sya during pregnancy, pero after giving birth, hala, bumawi talaga ng bongga sa katawan at mukha nya. Hindi mo talaga iisipin na may anak na sya. Every time na we're going to talk about having a new baby, lagi nyang sinasabi na, "ayoko na", then whenever asked why, her very genuine answer is.."ayoko na ulit malosyang, ang hirap magbawi. Ok na yung isa."
But I know na she's faithful sa husband nya.
well, case to case basis pa din naman

[dismembered]

Reading at the problem of husbands, minsan naiisip ko, bakit hindi pwedeng option yung **magpacastrate na lang ang mga husband kapag ayaw na din naman ng mga asawa nila ng sex?

That way, mawawala na din yung urge. So parehas na wala ng urge at hindi na magiging issue ang differences sa urges going forward? That way pwede na sila mag focus sa ibang bagay na mas makakabuti.

*parang mga pets lang, mas nagiging mabait daw ang temperament kapag castrated na.

[drinveilside]

hi GT thanks to everyone who replied I really appreciate it.

At this point i think its just going to be come what may honestly i dont know why i have more urge now maybe because she is trying to spend more time with her friends.

I honestly dont get it maybe she got tired being a full time mom for 13 years. now she met her online friends and everytime she goes with them its always overnight within this year she has already been with them 5 or  times something that she hasnt done for 13 years, I know that most of their meeting are special occasion like birthday, binyag etc but still over night sometimes more than 36 hours.. I know that when she was still single she used to go out a lot i guess i i just dont understand her anymore.

I am not perfect but i dont have vices, i am the one who does most of the chores, the one who puts food on the table and yet i dont feel appreciated at all just because ive sinned in the past and it justifies the time that she spends with her friends.

I am not not trying to uplift my self here, she told me there is too much "i" or me in our relationship but she fails to see that i support her all out everytime she goes out with her online friends i give what she needs, everytime she goes to her zumba i even fetch her when she's tired and yet the most intimate thing for me is something i have to beg for. She used to be a head turner and she gained weight apparently what pushed her to bring back her figure was may relatives but now everytime she goes out her friends tell her that she doesnt look like she has 3 kids.


at this point all that i have is you guys, i cant talk to my parents because obviously they would get pissed and i dont want that to happen. I cant talk to my mother inlaw because she would favor her daughter. I cant talk to our common friends because it would seem like i am under mining her.

aside from this all i have is a prayer so thank you guys.

[Shadow Angel]

^so for 13yrs she doesn't have any social life with friends or "me" time? Seems you have communication problem with your wife. Better address the problem with her. If you had mistakes before does she really forgive you? Do you know her friends personally? All girls or with boys? Personally 36hrs or overnight is a bit too much for me.

[mysterioza_me]

I agree. For a married woman sobra yung 36hrs na overnight unless for official business trip yan.
Kung sosyalan lang yan or out of town trip OA yang 36hrs na yan. Sorry ha pero mukhang may tinatagong mabahong sekreto yang wife mo.

[drinveilside]

 her friends is from online game that i used to play and she inherited the account and thats how she met them and that's how it began i guess because i saw screenshot of flirting with another married man during that stretch she didnt really want to have sex with me when i confronted her it was over the phone when she was with her friends the guy was not there he was still abroad at that time, only girlfriends and bi .

regarding my mistake it was 7 years ago i cheated on her and thats the reason why i am doing most of the chores at whom even though i work at night, never in my life that i went home that there is breakfast prepared for me i never complained that about her because again i am literally the one who puts food on the table. she is like that and i dont have a problem about it she has no knack for cooking. she takes care of the kids though from head to foot but now my eldest is highschool she basically do their projects at school. sorry if am not making any sense anymore i fcked up right now


everytime we argue and i ask her about the guy that she flirted with she would always use my mistake stating that i was the one who tarnished our relationship and that her flirting wasnt really true because she said she is not a home wrecker.

it started april after confronting her she changed the way she talks to them and that's what kills me because she is saying that her friends were the one who saved her when i was ignoring her when i was playing my online game and its been 2 years since i last played

[mysterioza_me]

^Kung totoo ang kwento mo bro, well mukhang nagdadahilan na lang ang wife mo. Jina-justify niya ang mistakes niya by using your previous mistakes. Bakit pa siya nakikisama sayo if di ka pa niya mapatawad? Nakikisama na lang ba siya for her own convenience? Assurance na may food on her table and a roof over her head?

[tellycopter]

Hi mga kaGT! Hingi lang ako ng opinion nyo about my husband. So eto, lumabas kami with my family and some of their friends and kakwentuhan nya. Jusko ang topic e yung dati nyang buhay. Divorced sya at ako yung second wife. Sakit lang na nagkwekwentuhan sila tapos he refers to his ex as "misis ko." This is the second time that this has happebed. Yung una pinalampas ko kasi naisip ko slip of the tongue lang naman. Nangyari na kasi to like a couple of months ago. Ngayon during his chit chat twice or thrice nyang binanggit yung misis ko. Nasa labas pa kami so di ko pa masabi sa kanya so ayun vent out muna ako dito. I'm so upset. He talks about his past a lot with other people masaklap pa e nandio mga pinsan ko and friends nila. Like hello ako na asawa mo. Napapailing na lang ako.

[Len0523]

Kung ako yun, honestly I talk to him agad confrontational kase talaga ako and I  could not bear hearing it for the second third time so first time na marinig pa lang I will make it clear agad kase parang lalaki yung damage sayo specially kamo naririnig na nung ibang tao.

[Len0523]

drinveilside

Nakakalungkot naman pero siguro para saken kelangan na ng third party to settle the issue like both parents, or close friends or counselling.

Settle it the soonest kesa pinapatagal pa yung agony.

Hanggang dumating sa point exhausted ka na. May mga anak ng maapektuhan.
Tingin ko mahal ka naman ng wife mo pero may something like psychological issue sya sa marriage ninyo. Kung di ka niya mahal pwede naman syang umalis.
Baka kelangan ng masinsinang pag  uusap kase para sa akin hind gawain ng matinong asawang babae ang mag overnight sa ibang lugar 36 hours pa kaya? may problema na talaga. malala na.

she?s covering up her current issues na parang OK lang ginawa mo rin naman.
Nabblockmail ka na emotionally nawawala na yung power to argue kase totoo naman na may kasalanan ka. Pero hindi pa rin naaddress yung concern mo.

Talk to her for about half day, try to win her back, suyuin mo, i-date mo, buy her flowers, surprise her, iparamdam mo sa kanyang maganda sya, naappreciate mo sya. Na kahit housewife sya for 13 years it does not make her less of a woman. do it  without expecting anything in return. baka masaktan ka. win her back. kase mahal mo.  Do it because you want her to realize how much you love her. Do it for straight one month.  If after all, wala talagang effect ask her na lang to be honest with you what is her plan kase what she?s currently doing ay parang anay sa isang bahay na sumisira sa pundasyon hanggang tuluyang magiba. Kung yun ay ipagpapatuloy nya malinaw na gusto nya talagang sirain na. Let her go na. Kung mahal mo sya hayaan mo na sya kung saan sya masaya kesa mas mahirapan ka pa masaktan ka pa. Wala na rin naman pala.

[tellycopter]

Len0523

Di ko masita right now kasi nahihiya din ako sa mga tao dito. 
Pero tomorrow talaga I will bring it up. Kasama pa kasi namin anak niya so ayun ang hirap.

[Shadow Angel]

Long term issues na hindi nareresolve ang mas mahirap ayusin. Parang bomba na anytime na pwede sumabog once na may matrigger ang effect malaking damage. I don't agree na dahil 36hrs sya nasa labas hindi na sya matinong babae hindi naman nya ito ugali may pinanggagaling sya kaya ganyan ang wife mo. Kapag may issue or problem ka gugusto mo rin minsan na maka hinga at lumayo muna sa tao o lugar ng cause ng issue mo. Though ang hindi maganda maging habitual or may something sya ginagawa like flirting around. This is the effect of the mistake that you did before and for sure what she's doing right now has a huge impact too. The best thing to do is talk to her. Ask her if she still willing na ayusin ang problem nyo or until when kayo magiging ganyan.