reasons why men look for other women and how can we prevent them from doing so

[franxyn]

mga sis, maybe this topic can help us kung pano maiwasan na ang mga mahal natin sa buhay ay maghanap ng iba.. share some reason na sa tingin nyo ay dahilan....

[glamorosa_09]

Hmmm... reasons that I can think of kung bakit sila naghahanap ng iba is if they have unsympathetic, unappreciative, unsupportive and belittling wife that they go home to everyday. They were able to find someone who is opposite of those.

Also if they have wives who don't care to make an effort to fulfill their basic needs as husbands. The book His needs her needs identified those as sexual fulfillment, admiration, domestic support, attractive spouse and recreational companion.

I prevent it by applying the principles written in my fave book Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. It was shared to us by our business instructor. So far so good... and syempre hindi nawawala ang prayer to protect our marriage.

Although there are affairs that start with an innocent friendship, parang tukso na ring nadedevelop... minsan nasa lalaki na rin... pero if strong naman ang emotional bonding nya with his wife, less ang chance na mapasubo sya. Kasi wala na naman syang hahanapin pa. IMO.

[dream vain]

I agree minsan nasa lalaki din talaga, i know women who are the most devoted loving wife, but still their men cheat, mahina talaga ang men pagdating sa temptation.

one thing i know for sure men are soo into looks, dun naman talaga nagsisimula physical attraction...so make extra extra effort to make yourself beautiful in his eyes

[akthung]

pag Variety ang gusto, mahirap talunin yun.

[glamorosa_09]

^ may unresolved issues na sa buhay yun...

[ichelie]

@glamorosa, i agree with you.  men who have unresolved issues tend to look for affirmation and depend on others for more love.

another thing i believe is important in keeping our husbands happy is to understand men and womens needs.  which are so different.  another important thing is for us to be really good friends with our husbands.  not just judging and jumping to conslusion but more on allowing themselves to recharge.  men wants side by side activities, while women wants face to face.  men like recreational partners and wants sex, while women likes conversation and affection. if we give what they like and understand their needs, then it would be easy for men to fill in our needs to.  no need to look for other women to supply what they need.

[bravo86]

I agree minsan nasa lalaki din talaga, i know women who are the most devoted loving wife, but still their men cheat, mahina talaga ang men pagdating sa temptation.

i like this sis. panalo!

...pano kasi, ang galing-galing/ang lakas-lakas ng manukso ng mga gurls ano?

sige, post muna kayo mga sis based on your experiences/observation. marami akong alam dito.

[glamorosa_09]

kahit naman sino mahina sa temptation, because it is designed to make us weak, lalo na tao lang tayo.

mas maganda kung alam nila na ang temptasyon ay hindi nilalabanan, kundi nilalayuan/iniiwasan. kung may nakipagkaibigan sa kanilang girl, why entertain? kung hindi naman importante.

sa counseling ministry nga sa community namin, it is done ng male to male and female to female. kasi baka yung problematic ma-inlove dun sa counselor niya. They understand human weaknesses.

[ichelie]

^ glamorosa, very true again. 

in my readings and observations, men who have strong marriages and are secure with themselves are not prone to philandering.  so, both husband and wife need to make the marriage work. 

even if the wife is ever loyal and doting, but they might not be good friends and not talking very well. still, men would turn to another women for unmet needs. having an affair is an indication that something is lacking in the marriage.  its not only the wife or the husband who's at fault - both affects each other. 

the challenge is for husband and wife to work on being in tune with each other.  i like parenting/marriage expert Maribel Dionisio's stance - "We don't want to be just married, we want to be happily married."  and thats what I want to strive for too.

[glamorosa_09]

^yes sis me too! success in every aspect of our lives needs hard work, and that includes marriage. Some married people, parang they live it to chance. Parang after marrying, bahala na kung anong mangyari.


Just want to share lang. My hubby just attended a 2 and half days seminar this weekend. The seminar is Reparenting the Child Within (RCW), he was there to address some unresolved issues connected to his low self-esteem.

But my sharing isn't about him. There is an example given in the workshop. When he was at age of 4-6, he was deprived of his play time. He got lots of toys but all were neatly kept and organized in a cabinet in which he was only allowed to play during his birthday, christmas and some holiday.

So when he became a man, he played toys for the big boys. He collected cars, the latest gadgets and women too. So there, that's where men who love varieties comes in. It's play time for them, because their basic need in the past at a specific life stage wasn't met.

[ichelie]

^ OMG sis, my hubby was there this weekend   hope it was a great experience for you.  many i know who attends cause theyre broken, wounded and have affairs. hope it was a great experience for you!

hubby attended for us to be better couple and better at our marriage!  small world!  i went through the same thing last july.  soon, well see a marriage counselor, for marriage maintainance, we can fine tune what we have now.  so good would be better!   im in the helping profession and so we need to make our relationship a living testimony.

milestone mag attend ng RCW http://www.rcwfi.org/home.  it requires maturity and openness.  pero once you go through that process, it gives so much realization to the person you are now.

being married does not mean you depend on another for your happiness.  it means we have to be complete and whole in our SELF, so as to give the excess to others and never be dependent on others for our happiness.!

[glamorosa_09]

^wow sis! hahaha! small world! Si hubby pa lang nauna, baka this December ako... sobrang great experience for my hubby... may after effect nga lang, hinihika pero mild lang and sobrang tired sya.

Anong workshop ang inattendan ng hubby mo? reparenting the child within din ba (rcw1)? o yung about marriage?

[ichelie]

^ he attended the RCW1. As in classmate sila ni hubby mo.  Si hubby, parang uminom ng endorphin, high!   Which is good.  Attend it sis.  Im through with it.

well have marriage counseling at Love Insitute  (theloveinstitute.com) soon.  Just have to set the schedule with Ms. Maribel Dionisio.  That would be the fitting 8 year anniversary gift namin sa isat isa.  More lasting.

[glamorosa_09]

wow, what a great gift naman... =) newly married pa lang kami...

ano pala nickname ng hubby mo sis doon?

[FOURever]

i believe we cannot prevent men from looking for other women. Nasa lalaki yan, kahit gaano ka kadevoted sa kanya, if he's not contented, wala rin. At ang contentment is a choice of the person himself and it takes a lot of hardwork and acceptance..

[miss resilient]

so far ang ginagawa ko to keep his attention is to meet his needs, kagaya dati di ako marunong magluto..nag aral ako before its too late. i also make sure na di ako nagiging baduy sa paningin niya...kahit nag gain ako ng wait natutuwa naman ako sa sinasabi niya, ewan ko lang kung totoo na kahit maging dabiana daw ako love pa rin niya ako.. di lang iyon.. i apologize whenever alam kong nakasakit ako ng damdamin niya. yun ginagawa ko for now.

[maiandra]

the key is honesty. yun lang

[super bratinella]

For my own POV, we can not prevent it. If gusto ng guy gawin ang mga bagay bagay even if you are the most perfect wife, they can still find justification why they did it, so the most important talaga in every relationship is putting God in the center of their relationship and be a God Fearing couple so both of you are in the right track.

[glamorosa_09]

mahirap din naman kasing malaman kung anong nangyayari between husband-wife relationship...  syempre di naman nakikita ng ibang tao yun... no one can know kung ano yung mga salitang binibitiwan nila sa isa't isa...

[neszreyes]

Yeah, I think nasa guy talaga yun, i know somebody na super dedicated sa family nya, love naman wife nya...has a fascade of a happy family...parang wala prob pero na attract dun sa girl sa office, kahit na iwasan sya ng girl (knowig that he's married), ay ayun talagang nag pursue sya sa girl [textspeak!] he likes her talaga

bakit daw nalike niya yung girl.. kung happy family naman sila