Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)

[butterfly_fairy]

hi mga Sis! mahirap nga ang pumasok sa isang Pseudo Relationship a.k.a. MU or Malabong Usapan, Kasi wala kang karapatan sa kanya or miski siya. Naranasan ko na iyan before with a close guy friend, minsan iniisip na nga ng mga kaibigan namin na kami na kaya pag nagkatampuhan kami sinasabihan kami na nag-LQ kami.
parati kami magka-chat tapos pag may gimik ako tinatanong niya ko kung sino kasabay ko umuwi yung tipong nag fish siya ng information kung ano ginawa ko sa gimik. Pero ayun bigla na lang nawala yung closeness namin .
Nung nag resigned siya okay pa kami pero after ilang weeks nagulat na lang ako na deleted na ako sa facebook niya and to think bago siya umalis may binigay ako sa kanya. Tapos ngayon yung kaibigan namin pareho pilit parin ako inaasar sa kanya na minsan tinatawag na niya ako na Mrs.__________(apelyido ni guy). yung tipong gusto ko na siya kalimutan pero yung mga taong nasa paligid ko na kilala siya at nakita yung closeness namin pilit siyang ipinaalala sa akin. hay ang hirap talaga. Pero ngayon gusto ko siya makausap para magkalinawanagan kung ano nangyari sa amin!  para hindi naman ako parang t**** na nanghuhula bakit kami nagkaganon! 

[butterfly_fairy]

ano po ba ang dapat ko gawin? gusto ko siya makausap! kaya lang ang way lang para makausap ko siya ay pumunta ko sa restaurant nila! nahihiya naman ako.  thanks!

[krnmprl]

@butterfly_fairy. please don't take offense pero nakakatuwa talaga when people are asking for "closure" ganong hindi naman naging sila. ika nga sa twitter, bakit mo kelangan mag move on eh hindi naman naging "kayo"

haha. i'm in the same boat. hirap!

[butterfly_fairy]

@butterfly_fairy. please don't take offense pero nakakatuwa talaga when people are asking for "closure" ganong hindi naman naging sila. ika nga sa twitter, bakit mo kelangan mag move on eh hindi naman naging "kayo"

haha. i'm in the same boat. hirap!

Thanks for your advice Sis! Pero sa ngayon gusto ko lang maibalik yung friendship namin na mimiss ko na kasi yung closeness namin! na experience mo na ba iyon sis na tinanung ka kung payag ka mag move-in with him pero hindi pa naman kayo officially? Bakit Sis Ano po b nangyari sa iyong Pseudo Relationship? If you don't mind!

[@pichness@]

All the while, I thought the relationship was a serious one. Pero ako lang pala ang assumera. For him, it was just pseudo (false) relationship. You can't feel the commitment galing sa kanya... Tatanong mo, sino inadd mo sa FB, ka chat mo na naman? Sabi nya eh ano naman? Ako tuloy ang napahiya, so parang wala pala akong karapatan pigilan sya... Minsan 12 am gising pa ako, sabi nya, bat gising ka pa, hinihintay mo ba sya dumating? Sabi ko sino? sabi nya asawa mo... Then I said, ano to? bakit ganito sya magsalita? wala ba kaming relasyon? God... I was so damn stupid for the past 2 years....

[somethingreal]

Ako din, ganito ata set up. But the thing is, we're both very much single. Sooobrang bagal lang niya. At first naman kasi, I didn't have feelings for him. Pero eventually naging close kasi kami and we have the same circle of friends, so akala ng lahat kami na. I even asked him twice about us, but he said like "relax ka lang, darating din tayo diyan". Sobra akong na-frustrate. After that, I told myself, I would never ever open up and ask him about it ulit, kasi kung gusto niya siya naman na magsasabi. Walang ligawan naman na nangyayari, pero we like each other. I just learned to go with the flow. Kung gusto niya, eh di sige, kung ayaw eh di wag. Of course at the back of my mind, meron pa din akong tinge of hope na sana, matauhan na siya. Obviously he doesn't want me enough to commit to me. So I am just enjoying the friendship we have.

I think what makes this a little easier for me is that he is also not the bolera type din kasi, what you see is what you get. Although may mga gestures siya na would make me feel that he really cares. We're also not the parang super touchy feely type in public. We talk on the phone everyday, and I hardly ever initiate the phone calls or the text messages. Even pag magkikita kami, pag hindi siya nag-aya, eh di wala. Hindi ko naman siya boyfriend eh. Challenging din kasi I told myself to let go na pero ayoko kasi nanghihinayang ako sa friendship, ayokong magka-lamat.

I don't know where this will lead and how long it will take. This is going on na for almost 7 months. The only progress is that we became closer. Kung may magandang ending man ito, at least yung foundation ng friendship namen is already there so it would great pag naging kami officially. Kung hindi, I have faith that someone way better will come along who will commit to me. I just hope I won't have to wait too long lang. So I guess abangan ang susunod na kabanata.

[maigrichonne]

Nagkaroon na ko ng ganyan noon. Or siguro hindi.

Ang alam ko lang eh, pag hindi kayo, eh hindi kayo. Pero pag foreigner yung lalaki medyo mas mahirap i-define.

[babychellee]

Its valentines nanaman, so this topic got my attention. i've been into this kind of relationship twice in the past and i must say that when i read the whole article, OMG super naka relate ako and in a way, naalala ko yung HURT ba. kasi ako lagi yung talo, dahil nafo-fall ako, at ako yung umaasa lagi na maging kami. haist. hirap talaga ng ganitong setup. so hangga't maari, find someone who will really love you "not just for the mean time". and yung super SIGURADO sa inyo. sobrang hirap yung pakiramdaman, naranasan ko to e, i let him hold my hands, i let him kiss me, i let him call me PET NAMES (baby, honey, etc) pero di naman kami. it hurts a lot kasi naiisip ko lagi before i go to bed, bakit ayaw nyang itawid na sa next level para maging official na kami? tas andami nagtatanong kung kami ba, ang hirap iexplain pag nalalaman nila na hindi naman kami. ang pinaka masakit dun, wala kang karapatan sa lahat  wala ka karapatan mag selos at mag demand. kasi hindi nga naman kayo.

kaya mga sis, yung mga nasa ganitong relasyon, pag isipan nyong mabuti. sa huli, kayo rin masasaktan so pass na agad. find THE ONE so as not to waste time and effort

[somethingreal]

Update: I posted in August 2012, and it's almost March 2013. Like any other normal pseudo-relationships, ours did not work out.
So lesson learned. We are not on speaking terms now, kasi may ginawa siya na kinainis ko talaga. So what I did was
I sent him a long message and sinabi ko na lahat. I never expected him to reply na. Pero he just said sorry. So yeah
he tried to call di na ako sumagot and since then I have not heard from him. It has been almost a month na din. So
ito doing my best to move on na.

[pumpkin13]

I had a pseudo-bf when I was in college pero we both knew na bestfriends lang kami. Parang joke lang yung term na "pseudo-bf" pero sometimes, nagiging literal na. Kasi when I was with him, hindi ako naghahanap ng totoong bf, or ng relationship. Enough na sya for me. He did things a real boyfriend would do and maybe so much more (except, of course, sex). I had crushes that time and he knew about them and alam ko din yung about sa girls nya. We took care of each other either sa malalaking bagay or kahit sa simpleng pagpaparefill ng tubig or pagkakabit ng bulb sa apartment. He was my savior, I was his angel.

But it came to a point na para na talaga kaming may relationship beyond friendship. Kasi nagkakaron na ng demands and responsibilities. I can't say that I was in love with him, I don't think he was, too. Pero siguro yun sobrang comfy na sa isa't isa gave us the feeling of more than friends but less than lovers.

Then one time, he confessed that after years of friendship, he was starting to harbor deep feelings for me. That set the panic button in me. Napraning ako. Haha! Kasi hindi ako sure if ganun din ba ko or talagang mahal ko lang sya kasi bff ko sya and spoiled ako sa kanya. What if masira yun friendship, etc. So that situation put us in limbo. We somehow became strangers. Then nagka bf ako and eventually, nagkaron na din sya ng own relationship nya. Then we just kind of drifted apart and that really broke my heart.

I missed the pseudo-relationship for that matter. 

[fparis]

nasa ganitong sitwasyon ako ngaun at sobrang hirap  na hirap ako pero ayoko naman sya mawala saken kaya go with the flow na lang muna kahit durog na durog na puso ko 

[pinkmallowpie]

it's hard to be in this kind of relationship when the other one is starting to fall for somebody else. yun sa inyong dalawa pseudo relationship lang, pero siya at ng kanyang bagong mahal ay totohanan relationship. ouch.

[mikoarai]

I've been into this kind of relationship and I agree sa sinasabi mo na it's fun as long as you are not expecting too much from each other. For my part, ang nagiging reason kung bakit minsan nag sesettle ako sa ganitong kind of relationship was because of the distance. I don't know why but it just happened that I liked someone who is far away from me, so if we both agree to commit to each other, it's going to be a long distance.

I have also been in a long distance relationship so I know how hard it is, so I chose to keep the pseudo relationship, pero sa una lang masaya, lalo na pag mag kasama kayo because mararamdaman mo may nag aalala sayo pero nung nag karoon na ng distance, it will become complicated. For example, even we try to maintain the communication, if the other party gets cold wala ka ng mapanghahawakan and as time passes by minsan you would want more from that person but obviously you don't have that kind of right.

I think if you know or confident ka na you can handle this kind of relationship it's not bad at all but what I'm afraid of is that hindi mo talaga masasabi kung kelan ka mag fafall sa isang tao.

[babychellee]

basta payo ko mga sis na nasa ganitong sitwasyon..LEAVE hangga't maaga. pag alam mong walang patutunguhan, kahit masakit..LET IT GO. save yourself from extreme heartache. i learned a lot sa experience ko sa ganito. super nasaktan ako and i said to myself, di na mauulit yun. mga sis, kelangan natin maging matapang sa ganito. hindi natin mami-meet ang para sa atin kapag paulit ulit lang tayong pumapayag sa ganitong setup with guys na alam naman nating hindi tayo seseryosohin.

[lareina]

mukhang ito ang patutunguhan ko .. i have a problem right now. me friend ako, he's really nice to me. he knows na attracted ako sa kanya at sya din e attracted sa akin. sayang me gf na sya.    i would like to think i am mature enough to think na hanggang friend lang ako.  when i am alone, though naiisip ko na sayang, sana kami na lang.. right love at the wrong time. tsk tsk.
so what should i do? still be a friend?

[jaemi33]

^sis lareina: hay nako girl as much as possible keep the distance from him. I experienced that exact situation and hanggang close ka sa kanya there is a bigger possibility na mafafall ka sa kanya and even though he is attracted to you now NGAYON lang yan. In the end, he would choose his girlfriend over you and you will end up getting hurt. You are saying "right love at the wrong time" right? that was my EXCUSE too, and I ended up super heart broken.  So if I were you just keep a comfortable distance between you and him.

[lareina]

^ thanks sis, medyo ingat na nga ako.. 

[iamME2007]

i think im in this situation right now though hindi kame masyado nagkakasama kasi i'm base here in abroad pero pag nagvavacay ako sa pinas para kame mag bf na lge magkasama at lage din sya nagtetext sa kin to tell na miss na miss nya na ko at lage nya din ako inaaupdate sa mga nangyayari sa kanya..hinde ko alam kung inlove ako sa kanya pero i like him at gusto ko sya na lang sana kaso parang madami pa syang gusto mangyari sa buhay nya..rght now kasi wala sya job at feeling ko gusto nya muna maayos ang life nya..somehow natatakot ako na baka pag naiba na ang mundo nya like for instance nagkawork na sya eh malimutan nya na ko.. sa ngayon kasi parang ako na lang yung andyan for him na kaclose nyang friend eh..pero syempre gusto ko din sya makastart na sa life nya..

[jaemi33]

^^sis lareina: Good luck! 

^sis iamME2007: We are exactly in the same situation sis! Nasa abroad rin ako and every vacation lang talaga ako umuuwi. Pag kasama ko siya pag nasa pinas ako para talaga kaming couple and kahit na malayo na naman kami sa isa'tisa continous naman yung usapan namin at we miss each other. At first, I like this kind of situation na hindi kami officially in a relationship but lately I'm not  Siguro may feelings for him is growing kaya the thought of losing him, lalo na hindi kami official, it is easier for him to leave me, so it makes me worried rin. We are both aware na if we make it official, something is definitely going to be different kaya siguro hindi pa kami makapag move on to the next step. Now, I'm trying to focus on my life and keep a comfortable distance from him. I kind the want to know rin kasi where I stand in his life. Ang hirap!!!

[angelzero]

i think nagiging complicated ang isang pseudo relationship pag yung isa may expectations. pero pag pareho kayong agree sa setup nyo, it could work. for me, personally, alam kong hindi ako para sa ganitong setup. i need "labels". kasi madali akong madevelop. it's either all or nothing. no gray areas.