Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)

[cai2179]

i was in this set-up few weeks ago. i dumped him because i was afraid we were becoming a real couple na. parang ako lang yata may positive feedback sa ganitong relationship ah.

[krnmprl]

i'm beginning to think this is the only kind of relationship that is completely honest. i mean, you enjoy each other's company and do not make all these unnecessary commitments and false promises. just have fun and "manage your expectations"

[shopaholic18]

^exactly, though you shouldn't give in totally, sa setup kasi namin we've both decided na hanggang dun muna kami not until we see each other personally then kapag nangyari yun then we decide.

[poshgal24]

Ang mahirap sa ganito yung nasa stage kayo na touchy-feely. Yung tipong deadma kayo kunwari pag may mga kasama pero maya maya, hahawakan yung hand mo, aakbayan ka, hug ka, whisper whisper sa yo and pa touch touch sa face mo---yung ganun ba hanggang nahahalata na ng iba tapos di mo naman alam ano sasabihin and its better if you just keep your mouth shut dahil mamaya i-deny ka nakakahiya di ba-

Honestly nakakainis mga guys na ganito, I mean what is preventing them from making you an official GF anyway di ba? Bakit kailangan pa na ganun ang setup. Mapapaisip ka din dapat miski nakaka-kilig di ba

[eccarific]

^I totally agree with you sissie!

alam mo ganyan ang sitwasyon ko ngayon... ang hirap pag nagtatanong na ang mga tao sa office pero siyempre, inuunahan ko siya ng pagdedeny. hahaha eh wala naman talaga kasing "kami".

mas mahirap kasi kung pipilitin mo siyang mag-commit na hindi siya handa. mahirap din na you're settling with this kind of situation. ang sa akin lang, depende sa tao yan. panindigan lang ng desisyon.

[ms.vanity]

Ganito set up namin ngayon. I se share ko pag nasa mood nako. May plan nako mag let go. kailangan matibay ka. Kumapit ka para hindi ka ma FALL.

[shopaholic18]

hindi na ganito set up namin, super tagal ko nang di nag update dito, i forgot na napost ko in pseudo relationship kami. we're doing good, and he's introduced me to his family na nga. so the word pseudo don't apply to us now since we are in a relationship.

[sinosikat]

for me, ayoko ng pseudo relationship... if the guy really likes/wants you and wants to take you seriously, then what's stopping him from getting in a real relationship with you di ba?

[gurlalou]

I already did this but I think it is not advisable enough for the girl like us. No security tsaka mahirap pag nainlove ka na. Hirap bitawan pero sya parang wala lang. Mas matigas ang puso ng guy kesa sa girl ei. Tsaka madali mainlove ang girl. Based from my experience lang.hehe!

[hi1208]

Another opinion why some opt with pseudo relationship is that. The guy/girl is not at par to their ideal standard. Example girl is professional her ideal guy is somehow like her or mas mataas pa… professional, more financially stable, graduated from reputable school etc. But this girl met a guy, newly graduate and a neophyte in his career. However, this guy makes her happy, loves her and definitely their personalities are compatible. What happens, the girl opts for a pseudo relationship, because she has the feeling of having somebody yet not committed to him. She can say to her circle of friends that he is not a boyfriend in order to avoid the questions and all. She can justify to herself that she is still holding on her ideal standard because she is not committed with this guy and in no way their relationship will progress into engagement and marriage. 

True. I have been hanging out with a business man for eight months now, but last January, when I went to sales, I met an interesting guy, who is seven years younger than I am. He was fun, tall and dark. HE was a typically ladies man.
He told me my officemate that He has a crush on me and eventually admitted to me that He likes me. So, I told him that  I like him too but he is way too young. I placed him in the friends zone. We became hanging out buddies. We'd eat together, drink san mig and tanduay ice together, and just simply enjoy each other's presence.
Sometimes, even if I wanted to avoid him, there was something about him that made me draw closer to him. Our connection was too powerfully strong; perhaps because both our mothers were sick. We struggle the same pain and felt as though just having him at my side made me feel happy. - made me forget my the difficulties.
He always kept on inviting me to have a date with him - but I'd end up backing out. I decided to resign April 2 and along with fate, He was also moving in to another developer since he hadn't had any sale for six months. So, he invited me out to see the stars during earth hour, I decided to go and making it our first and last official date.
That night, I forgot who I was. My values and beliefs because I let out my care for him. He asked me if I wanted to be intimate - and I told myself a 5 minute kiss, wouldn't hurt at all. So, I said yes. We became intimate but not reaching farther than hugging and kissing each other. After, I told him that I hope the feeling somehow made him forget of what he was going through.
Its actually fun being in a psuedo thing, but you have to guard your heart and not let it go to the extreme. Use your head more than your heart sometimes. Look at the pro and con.
 AS for me, we were just both two damage souls, who were powerfully connected. I've always wanted to kiss him, that night became an oppurtunity. He wanted it the same way I wanted it too. And looking back, it was fun. It was all that could be. An adventure worth keeping. :-)


 

[krnmprl]

i think i'm about to get into something like this soon. may long term relationship siya with someone else at ako naman in the middle of working out career matters pero i think we feel a very strong connection with each other. if we play our cards right we can be really good friends. pero i couldn't deny the feeling pag nasasagi ko siya or nagkakatinginan kami or magkatabi kami. ang daming SPARK. i don't remember feeling this strongly about anyone else before.

ang alam ko lang, ayoko siyang mawala sa buhay ko. kaya maski anong relationship pa yan basta kasama ko siya, go lang!

sisses, does this make sense?

[fRaNcOisaLabeLLe]

I am in this kind of situation with one guy for almost a year now. And lately I have been trying to understand WHY we're stuck in this, WHAT is it that he want from me and WHERE do I stand in his life. Well, those questions lead me to reading blogs and articles written by men. Sharing some parts that I super liked from a blog I read today:

If she was that important to you, you should have made the move and advanced the relationship. Women can’t be put on hold until you are certain they are into you. You must strike while the iron is hot. Don’t be a “Segurista”. - It’s too late to apologize, Segurista Written by the arrested son

Here's the link:
http://acordof3strands.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/its-too-late-to-apologize-segurista/?blogsub=confirming#blog_subscription-3

[tipC_shoegal]

This is not for the faint-hearted. Nakakaloka kapag nahulog ka ng bongga. Kahit na sabihin mong laro laro lang, eventually, something's already brewing within and then there, fatal na pala!

I've had this set-up until my now ex-bf came into my life. I was seeing this guy whom I fondly called "constant" 'coz by far, during that time, he's the guy I often see, hang out with, pester, make lambing to and all that other thingamajig. We never labeled our relationship. All we know is, we don't wanna lose each other until complications arose and I was really broken when all transpired. I was with him for a total of almost 10 years. I never had the courage to confirm my position because I didn't want to let him go and vice versa so there, it ended with him finding his now gf while my relationship didn't work out (due to a lot of challenges and besides it was really a very wrong one so there!) but looking at it, I guess we were really not meant to be romantically connected. He left for Singapore to be with the girl and for over a year, I never heard from him until recently. He still makes me smile and still gives me that "kilig" although I know what we had will never happen ever again although the thing is, the days I've spent with him are some of the best days of my life. 

That's how I was able to move on when he left. I managed to come to terms that it was meant to be just that - a sweet-painful experience and I'm thankful I came out of it still alive and resilient.

[it_girl]

I'm currently in this kind of situation, although nanliligaw daw siya ayoko muna ng commitment and galing ako sa heartbreak and a cheater ex so my trust issues ako, masarap ang feeling na may kalambingan ka pero hanggang dun lang muna yun pero nawiwindang ako pag nag i-i love u siya kasi parang gusto ko narin sabihin na i love u too pero pinipigil ko haaayysssst 

[it_girl]

we are both single btw! and yes we cuddle and misses each other everytime. ako ang may problema

[ms_teryosa]

im in this kind of relationship right now.. before i dont  believe in this kasi kala ko hindi totoo yun pala pwede talaga mangyari.. i just broke up with my ex 2 months ago and this guy shows his interest naman . since broken hearted ako and trying to release the pain, pinagbigyan ko si guy and entertained him then a week after hindi nya siguro kinaya yung guilt and he admited na he has a gf.. i was really mad at him annd tried to back him off dahil ayoko ng gulo but he pursue with his intention to me..after that mas naging close kami..naikwento nya lahat lahat sa akin about his gf.. sinabi nya na hindi na nya mahal si gf and wala na silang constant communication.. pero i still give him advice na ayusin nya yung relationship nila ni gf para hindi hassle at walang problemaa sa huli.. we became super close at madalas na kami nag-de-date.. both of us are attracted with each other pero ayaw namin mag-commit.. in my part, ayoko mag-commit kasi i still want my ex back pero malabo na.. while sya naman ayaw nya mag-commit kasi may gf sya... inisip na lang namin na wag na mag-commit para walang responsibiltiy.. pag naging bf ko kasi sya baka mas maging complicated at baka ilang months lang eh hindi na kami magkasundo at magkaroon lang ng problema..if that's the case baka magkailangan lang kami in the end. at least ngayon no pretentions at pwede namin gawin yung mga gusto namin gawin..

[Serena.]

Ganito kami dati ng hubby ko. Dating lang pero hindi kami. LOL ayos lang sakin to basta ako lang.


xo

[kneekee]

quote from an article to this blogspot:

http://lovestoryblog.com/index.php?
option=com_myblog&show=pseudo-relationship.html&Itemid=30

Pseudo Relationship

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang. Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon(sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangangaliwa
kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro." Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na
may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong setup ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Mostly, ang rationalization ng mga napasok dito, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.

Ang maganda doon, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang nagmamahal ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask siya to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo or mangsundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the others, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him/her? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him/her you love him/her, you can't. Because you're not sure if s/he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and that someone hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him/her, not entertaining others, only to find out that s/he is seeing other girls or boys?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that that someone is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable girl, a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya� almost, but not quite.

Grabeeee! Bakit ngayon ko lang nakita ang thread na 'to. For about a month or two na akong gulong gulo cos hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng relationship ang involved ako, now I know. Pseudo-relationship it is!

Sa totoo lang parang mas mahirap pa 'to kesa nasa isang relationship ka with commitment because you really don't where you stand. There always comes a point that I would ask myself to stay and enjoy every moment together kahit wala ako kasigurahan with him or to leave and wait for the real thing. :S

[kneekee]

I got into this when I was younger. It was fun for a while, until one of you gets attached, and then it's no longer fun. I guess that's what happens when you play with feelings. Feelings have a funny way of playing the game right back at ya.

Being in a steady, committed relationship is much more fun, for me. But I suppose some people need to go through a process to realize that, even if that process involves heartbreak.

I can't agree more. Totoo yan sis. Parang natatangahan nga ako sa sarili ko that I involved myself in a relationship like this. In committed relationships you most likely have an idea where you are going to, in psuedo-relationships you have no idea.

The fun and happiness in relationships really depends on the people involved. It doesnt mean that when you're committed there wouldn't be fun in your relationship. Just my two cents.

[phoebe1811]

at first it would be fun & exciting and really you're happy with the way things are. pero habang natagal
you'll just want more and you wont be contented with what you have.

it's a waste of time. why spend it like that when you can spend it with someone na me direction and pangmatagalan pa i guess. at least you know where you stand.