Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)

[aehr22]

Just curious..

Go guys! please answer in all honesty 

Thanks:)

[shaunthesheep]

Difficult to answer since each guy would have different reasons for popping the question. Let me take a shot at this. Please feel free to add or to rebut the list I made off the top of my head.

1. She gets pregnant.
2. His hairline starts to recede.
3. He starts dyeing his grey hair.
4. All his friends are married and with families of their own.
5. The women he wants to date are half his age.
6. People start asking if he's gay.
7. When his sperm motility drops below the normal range.
8. When his girlfriend of 10 years threaten to leave him because the subject of marriage hasn't come up yet.
9. When his parents threaten to cut him off their will if he doesn't give them an heir.
10. When he finds it too difficult to read without his reading glasses.

[sxymnky]

triggers? parang napilitan? 

[aehr22]

it may or it may not...

we'll try to see depending on how you guys answer the question! 


Thanks

[chengkii]

Pang guy lang ba itong question sis? hehe
Here's what i gathered from my brothers, my hubby, and friends
BROTHERS - nabuntis eh...so feeling true love na. LOL
HUBBY - nakita daw niya iyun hinahanap niyang character ng girl sa akin (NAKS!). He was happy that I was able to give him direction in life...and taught him things daw.
FRIENDS - pag kaya na ninyo sakyan ang isa't isa in terms of mood swings, trips, likes, dislikes. If you start to feel that you complement each other. If you start to feel that you cannot bear the thought of losing this person pa...iyun na iyun.

[aehr22]

hi sis!

both men & women can answer this so we can see different perspectives:) 

Funny because this came to my mind just now that i'm getting married in 2months time I asked my h2b this question and he answered, he felt that he's "ready" for married life.  What should be the next level in a relationship but to get married and have a family.  In other words, "level up" na daw dapat! 

[anir]

In my opinion:

women marry out of curiosity... men marry out of boredom... 

[chengkii]

^ LOL. What are women gonna be curious about? Eh we have successful and otherwise stories na of married life.

[empress]

^curious on how it feels like to walk down the isle, wear that "dream wedding dress", have all your closest friends & relatives witness your love story end up infront of an altar. also, curious to know how to do all those wedding preps, budgetting, entourage, and the likes.

... and when you're done with your "little curiousity", then that's the time you'll get the "bigger curiousity" on how to have a long lasting marriage. some get curious din on how to "end" a marriage after saying "i do" when faced with marital probs.

oh di ba? never ending ang curiousity na yan

[aehr22]

^sis anir,

you might want to say more about it...

thanks

[health.gal]

What triggers men to propose - when they're already financially, emotionally, psychologically prepared for married life

or not to propose for marriage? - when they start to realize that their partner is an immature, self-centered, uncontrollable fr3@k!

[anir]

@empress

very well explained sis! ... that's what I'm talking about... curious women...

@aehr22

i bet your real name is rhea... kase binaliktad ko rin name ko... ANIR-RINA...

of course in marriage there's an intense love involved in it... in both parties

again, in my own opinion, women are so curious about how it's gonna be to become a  wife, it's like taking your self into the next level of being a woman... it's the fulfillment of every woman's existence... to fall in love, get marry, have children... and live happily ever after... and (we're dead  )...

men marry out of boredom... I don't know if it's true... coz i'm a girl... I just noticed that men tend to get marry coz they are sick of their bachelor's life... boredom goes in here... coz most likely men will stay single as long as they are happy being single... unlimited GFs, sex with any girl and / (guy)  , handle and spend their own cash.... but when boredom strikes... they'll enter marriage...


this is my opinion... and does not denote facts 





 

[Paulo]

That which makes a man "not propose" is quite easy. Usually it's either he doesn't love you, does not love you enough, doesn't love you that much YET, or would rather ruin his future all by himself.

That which triggers a man "to propose" is another thing. It's more complex and I think it varies guy to guy.

Though the most popular reason is "you're carrying his baby" .... which is a common practice.

Beyond that, I think it's more or less a combination of "finding a sense of fulfillment with you" and "not wanting to lose you". Lose you or Lose whatever it is that he loves. Ideally, which I'd still like to believe happens in a lot of cases, it's all about the realization of how much love he feels for the girl, how much he needs to sustain that which he feels, and of course the male-popular-trait of "selfishness" which translate to him never wanting to lose the girl. Logically, there has to be a selfish element naman talaga for it to be believable, maybe even reliable up to a certain extent.

Of course there are other reasons. Like sometimes it's not entirely out of love but out of Need. Practically speaking, some guys look for the perfect or ideal mate based on who would probably make them better KINGS. Which translates to a miserable time for the 'sucker' who usually was too young, to needy, or too dumb to see past all the glittering stuff the abuser blinded her with.

Do men marry out of boredom?

In fairness to that theory, I guess some men do. I guess some men feel that CHANGE is all about resetting your life and the easiest way around that is to find that partner who .... can shoulder most of the work, blame, and whatever it is you'd rather blame onto somebody else.

Of course as Health Gal mentioned two replies above, "timing" is also an essential element. A man who is at the right stage in his life where his needs, his goals, and his opportunities all come together fluidly, is most likely to think "Future/Family/For the Long Haul .... Most rich successful dudes have mistresses on the side. So I need to get married first".

[Bubblin]

for me,what will trigger me to accept a guy's marriage proposal?

1. when I have already fulfilled my dreams
2. when he is supportive of fulfilling my new dreams
3. when he is a best friend whom I completely trust and see myself spending the rest of my life with

[spartan]

1. She gets pregnant.
2. His hairline starts to recede.
3. He starts dyeing his grey hair.
4. All his friends are married and with families of their own.
5. The women he wants to date are half his age.
6. People start asking if he's gay.
7. When his sperm motility drops below the normal range.
8. When his girlfriend of 10 years threaten to leave him because the subject of marriage hasn't come up yet.
9. When his parents threaten to cut him off their will if he doesn't give them an heir.
10. When he finds it too difficult to read without his reading glasses.

I'd say this is 95% correct. The remaining 5% are the men who need a 2nd mom to take care of them, so they find a wife.

[E23203]

Re: 1. She gets pregnant.

IMO, I think it's pretty unnerving to get married because you got pregnant "accidentally". Reason why most marriages that I know, failed because they were forced..to escape shame perhaps?

But I guess that's the most popular trigger nowadays.. like when we announced our wedding, 95% of the followup questions go: "Buntis ka?" LOL.

[freeswan]

i think the "trigger" word is inappropriate. parang kalabit lang. eh pagnagpropose, like what bro Paulo said is never just a quick decision. kinocontemplate yan, pinag iisipang mabuti. i can only speak for my hubby. he married me because of course he loves me and kaya niya akong pakisamahan for the rest of his life. and pakisamahan means there is support, understanding, petty fights he can deal with, stand my being stubborn, shared dreams, goals, etc... kumbaga, in the course of our bf-gf relationship, may mga pinagdaanan kami and pinagusapan na naisip niya na ah, ready na ako.

for the nabuntis issue, it doesn't apply for him. he got his ex pregnant (wala pa ako sa picture) pero he saw that his relationship with her ex is not a panghabangbuhay type, kahit na patayin daw siya ng mga magulang ng gf niya, d daw siya papakasal kaysa maging married siya pero miserable at unhappy. pero siyempre d naman niya binalewala ang pagiging ama ng baby.

[liyapot]

sa case namin...
may ni-set syang time limit sa sarili nya at sa isang relationship..he previously had a long term gf inabot sila ng almost 5years...nung ika 5th year nila problems arose..naglandi yung babae.. (bata pa kasi sila noon eh mga early 20's) naging pasaway..she started to smoke..kumbaga sa lalake..she sowed her oats.. anyway..they broke off..but were still "seeing" each other once in a while pag may "needs" na kailangan punan.
doon nabuo ang "after 5years" condition ni hubby so when we got together..our friends started kidding us about the 5 year thing...ako tawa tawa lang kasi di ko rin naman alam kung magtatagal kami..
anyway long story short a few months after our 5th year anniversary ako na nag-propose hhahaha

[jmeangeL]

parang [textspeak!] #1 at a little bit of boredom in life

boredom in the sense that he already soaked his oats and would like a different setting in life

or gusto na ng guy ng sariling pamilya... anak na aalagan at kanya hindi laging ninong lang sa binyag

 

[peaceinsolitude]

What triggers men to propose - when they're already financially, emotionally, psychologically prepared for married life

or not to propose for marriage? - when they start to realize that their partner is an immature, self-centered, uncontrollable fr3@k!

Hahaha natawa ako sa not to propose for marriage reason mo. Nakakatakot kaya yung ganun. I had a long term bf bf dati. Pinipilit niya akong pakasalan ko siya narealize ko na siya lahat ng sinabi mo. Kaya I broke up with him.