Author Topic: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)  (Read 16081 times)

prettykhae

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #20 on: January 17, 2011, 01:59:22 pm »
hi sis!

both men & women can answer this so we can see different perspectives:) 

Funny because this came to my mind just now that i'm getting married in 2months time :) I asked my h2b this question and he answered, he felt that he's "ready" for married life.  What should be the next level in a relationship but to get married and have a family.  In other words, "level up" na daw dapat!  ;D

sis, parang ganyan rin sagot ng bf sa akin! i asked him, bakit mo gusto na ako makasama mo for life? dahil ba ur at the [textspeak!] age na at nagkataon na ako ang gf mo [textspeak!] now or mahal mo lang talaga ako. he answered me back na, PAREHAS LANG DAW UN. LOL.
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pretty.sinful

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2011, 04:46:13 pm »
Difficult to answer since each guy would have different reasons for popping the question. Let me take a shot at this. Please feel free to add or to rebut the list I made off the top of my head.

1. She gets pregnant.
2. His hairline starts to recede.
3. He starts dyeing his grey hair.
4. All his friends are married and with families of their own.
5. The women he wants to date are half his age.
6. People start asking if he's gay.
7. When his sperm motility drops below the normal range.
8. When his girlfriend of 10 years threaten to leave him because the subject of marriage hasn't come up yet.
9. When his parents threaten to cut him off their will if he doesn't give them an heir.
10. When he finds it too difficult to read without his reading glasses.

nakakaloka naman to. parang lahat negative yung reason ng guy to get married. hahaha. if that will be the case, better be single forever. mahirap ang napilitan.

Patren

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2011, 12:24:44 am »
That which makes a man "not propose" is quite easy. Usually it's either he doesn't love you, does not love you enough, doesn't love you that much YET, or would rather ruin his future all by himself. ;)

That which triggers a man "to propose" is another thing. It's more complex and I think it varies guy to guy.

Though the most popular reason is "you're carrying his baby" .... which is a common practice. ;)

Beyond that, I think it's more or less a combination of "finding a sense of fulfillment with you" and "not wanting to lose you". Lose you or Lose whatever it is that he loves. Ideally, which I'd still like to believe happens in a lot of cases, it's all about the realization of how much love he feels for the girl, how much he needs to sustain that which he feels, and of course the male-popular-trait of "selfishness" which translate to him never wanting to lose the girl. Logically, there has to be a selfish element naman talaga for it to be believable, maybe even reliable up to a certain extent.

Of course there are other reasons. Like sometimes it's not entirely out of love but out of Need. Practically speaking, some guys look for the perfect or ideal mate based on who would probably make them better KINGS. ;) Which translates to a miserable time for the 'sucker' who usually was too young, to needy, or too dumb to see past all the glittering stuff the abuser blinded her with. :)


This is the most sensible reason for me. Guys will know/feel it when they are ready to settle down.  ;)
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FrogPrincess

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #23 on: February 02, 2011, 09:31:51 pm »
what if he says that he wants to get married na but cannot propose YET because he's still preparing the budget for the wedding, and he wants to make sure first na kaya na nya i-finance ang gastusin before slipping the engagement ring on you finger?  ???
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stacies83221

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #24 on: February 03, 2011, 01:58:04 am »
Men propose: (according to h2b)
- once they feel that they are ready- emotionally, psychologically and financially for married life
- love for the girl and he can imagine himself starting a family and growing old with her. (sustaining and nurturing the relationship)

Men don't propose: (according to h2b)
- he doesn't love you or dooesn't love you enough
- girl is immature at obviously doesn't love him back. wag daw kukuha ng asawa na parang bato na ipupukpok mo lang sa ulo mo
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prettykhae

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #25 on: February 03, 2011, 02:44:24 pm »
what if he says that he wants to get married na but cannot propose YET because he's still preparing the budget for the wedding, and he wants to make sure first na kaya na nya i-finance ang gastusin before slipping the engagement ring on you finger?  ???

ay nako sis, may mga boys talaga na nasa tamang edad na pero dipa ready financially. at pati emotional aspect. hayzzz...
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iristacey

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #26 on: February 03, 2011, 03:28:14 pm »
Re: 1. She gets pregnant.
But I guess that's the most popular trigger nowadays.. like when we announced our wedding, 95% of the followup questions go: "Buntis ka?" LOL. ;)
that was commonly asked of me din. bakit daw kame nagpakasal, hindi naman daw ako buntis.

Men propose: (according to h2b)
- once they feel that they are ready- emotionally, psychologically and financially for married life
- love for the girl and he can imagine himself starting a family and growing old with her. (sustaining and nurturing the relationship)

Men don't propose: (according to h2b)
- he doesn't love you or dooesn't love you enough
- girl is immature at obviously doesn't love him back. wag daw kukuha ng asawa na parang bato na ipupukpok mo lang sa ulo mo

agree. i think it is more on men's readiness, and if you are the girl he is most comfortable and sees his future with, then he might really settle with you.
loving my babies more each day :)

FrogPrincess

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #27 on: February 03, 2011, 03:55:29 pm »
^^sounds like you're in the same situation sis ah  ;)

di bale at least they are mature enough to admit na di pa totally ready and good thing is he's working on it VERY HARD  ;D
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RoadrunnerXCX

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #28 on: October 04, 2012, 12:24:31 pm »
Based on observation, men do not subscribe to the notion that love and marriage go together like horse and carriage. They do not see commitment as an expression of love or an extension of "caring" the way women like us do.  In the boyish mind, timing rather than emotion or wanting to  settle down  seems to generate commitment. In short, it could be he loves the pants off you. But ready to marry, he ain't. And it's really readiness, not love, that settles a man down.
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tinsantos10

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I've read this on facebook:

How men propose: "Will you marry me?"
How women propose: "I'm pregnant."

Lol.

gurlygirltoo

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My husband said that it's timing and the right girl.  :)

ciacia18

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I read somewhere that it's all about timing daw. Mafeefeel nang guy if it's time to settle down.

He can be with a perfect girl, but if it's not the right time hindi siya magpopropose. If it's the right time, even if he's with an "okay lang girl"
Magpopropose yan. :)

fredprinz

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #32 on: December 05, 2014, 12:48:37 pm »
Triggers for proposing
1) Guy wants to settle down, has all the stuff he needs in life, confident in marriage
2) Emotionally and financially ready
3) Girl keeps on giving hints that she wanted to get married, girl is pressured due to society standards, girl wanted to make parents happy since they wanted an apo - I PERSONALLY HATE THESE SCENARIOS
4) Wants to be sure that the girl will be his - maybe due to insecurities

Triggers for NOT proposing
The opposite of the 4 mentioned above.

I'm 33 now and is still single, I rather have a very young partner (when I say young, I prefer to have a 22-27-year old girlfriend) than one with the same age as me. Why? I still want to do a lot of things with my life - I want a house, get my own car, travel more and be successful with my chosen career.

If I'm financially and emotionally stable now and is committed, I'll propose to my partner ASAP. Kaso hindi ganun eh. =P
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dismembered

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Re: Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)
« Reply #33 on: December 05, 2014, 04:54:51 pm »
There's a lot of triggers for men to propose. Kaso, merong good/bad triggers.

Good Trigger:
1. He's on-track on his plans. He loves the girl (given the girl is ready to get married) and have decided to settle down. Usually these guys yung mga may girlfriend na at may target lang na age kung kelan ikakasal. At dahil planned, kailangan prepared na din yugn ibang pre-requisites (Including marriage and pre-requisite of marriages (financial, emotional, mental and family support).

Bad Triggers:
1. Peer pressure. Dahil sa mga friends nya eh nagaasawa na at dahil sa yung mga friends ng girls nya married na din.
2. Bored na at hindi alam ang gagawin sa buhay kaya mag-try mag-asawa.
3. Pressured ng family.
4. Carried away by emotions. Sobrang in-love at ayaw na mahiwalay.
5. No choice. Gusto lang magasawa.

Pag wala sa plan ni lalake magpropose, mahirap i-manipulate. Minsan kakabahan pa yan pag malapit na ikasal. Kaya for me, pag nagpropose, dapat hindi magtagal ng more than a year bago ikasal. Naku maraming pwede mangyari.

Suggestion for girls, support nyo lang si guy sa plan nya. Mas ok yung nagpaplan si guy at may timeline kesa naman magpropose ng out bad triggers. Pag wala kasi sa plan, minsan jan yung naguguluhan sa isang punto.
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mimiku

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Sabi nila a man will never marry a woman kahit na siya na ang pinakamabait, pinakamaganda na wife material unless he is ready. Hinding hindi magsesettle ang isang lalake kapag hindi pa niya nakikita ang sarili niyang lumagay sa tahimik. Although exemption to the rule yung mga nakabuntis. Sometimes kasi pinapanindigan na lang.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2015, 12:39:59 pm by mimiku »
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kizz2kill

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Sabi nila a man will never marry a woman kahit na siya na ang pinakamabait, pinakamaganda at wife material unless he is ready. Hinding hindi magsesettle ang isang lalake kapag hindi pa niya nakikita ang sarili niyang lumagay sa tahimik. Although exemption to the rule yunb mga nakabuntis. Sometimes kasi pinapanindigan na lang.

Agree!

Madalas akong tinatanong dati kung "siya naba?" ang lagi kong sagot eh, if the right time comes to settle down, edi siya na talaga. 5 years after, I decided to propose :D

Pink_Sugar

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Pag buntis na eh wala ng propose propose, kasal na agad. Hahaha pero ayoko ng feeling. LOL

three8one

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before ako nag propose sa wife ko, iniisip ko million times ata yun if im ready to settle down and have a family on my own na. when i found out my answer is yes, then i think harder this time if my wife is the  right girl for me and if i am the right man for her. ayoko ko rin kasi dumating sa point na ako yung maging reason para maging miserable ang buhay ng wife ko kung mapapakasal kami then hindi ko naman pala mapapanindigan and it will end up sa hiwalayan.. yan yung mga kinunsider ko. pero what really made me decided na sya na nga talaga were nun unti unti pumapasok na sya sa picture ng mga plans ko sa future..i'm happy thinking na i would like sa lahat ng mga plano ko gusto ko kasama na sya, and hindi ako mapakali na gagawa ako ng plano na hindi sya kasama.. then yun nah, 1 day nakita ko na lang sarili ko nagpropose na ko sa wife ko. and i'm happy with my decision i made.

funny thing is when my wife ask me about the same question bakit daw ako nagpropose sa kanya, wala ako masagot. maybe yun ang mystery ng love na kung ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon na ganun wala kang ni single word na mahahanap o masasabi. basta ang alam ko lang i really love my wife and she is my other half.


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Interesting topic; you had me at "2. His hairline starts to recede."  ;p

not sure if we have a lot of men here in GT who are married pero not for the reason that they got their gf preggo

My theory as to what triggers men to propose ~ it's dictated by social convention especially when you reach the "marrying age" at least here in the PH

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Ming-Ming

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For me, ang nagttrigger saken na wag muna magpropose is kelangan ko na buo ako papasok sa magiging bagong chapter ng buhay namen. I mean, kelangan financially stable ako, yun bang sure na may maipapakain ako sa mag ina ko, may sarili kaming bahay na matitirhan at hindi makikitira sa parents ko. I need to have everything in place for us bago ko magpropose. Mabuti nalang at di sya nagmamadali. :)
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