WHAT MAKES HELPERS STAY?

[aquacharly]

Let us have an informal yet frank poll here.   

What, in your experience, makes helpers stay with a household for over 6 months at least?
                       

My anwers, as per my observations, not necessarily my personal experience:
             Better pay, better perks
             Employment in a household which has frequent contact with households where their relatives are (ex. magkapatid households have magkapatid helpers) -- that keeps them from getting lonely or feeling isolated             
              Flexible policy/relative leniency  with regards to time off -- they are able to easily get permission to go off attend to personal matters or their families
             Educational subsidy/scholarship  (employer pays for their schooling or skills training)
             Kasi artista ang amo   hehe, so masaya

What are your observations?

For sure, we cannot  "give" our helpers all the common reasons/considerations to stay... and use 1 or a combination of "motivating" considerations   
   

[cashew]

Some maids stay for years in the family for the reason that they are treated like members of the family meaning they can lie down on the sala set while watching tv, eat anything they can find in the fridge, clean the house anytime they want.  If they do not feel like cleaning the house for 3 days that is fine with the amo.  If the bathroom is not cleaned for a month, fine.  In other words, they want to be given a lackadaisical treatment wherein they call the shots on how they do things.  They can make chismis all day and that should be fine with the amo.  They can have the whim of not answering the calls of the employer when the employer calls them.  They can talk back to the amo.  Call the amo behind his back as Abogago instead of abogado.  I heard the maid say it and I told my mom but she just said pasensiyahan na lang daw.  Magdabog kung wala sa mood.  Huwag labhan ang mga damit ng mga anak ng amo kasi marami na siyang labahin.  Tuloy ang mga bata na ang naglalaba ng mga damit every weekend para may magamit sa school.  Pati ang professional fee ng dad ko to his clients since he also maintains an office at home, kinukwestyon pa ng maid namin bakit daw ang mahal.  O di ba mas magaling pa siya sa abogado.  LOL! That is the reason why the maid of my mom has been with us for 18 years already.  And my mom is so proud that she was able to maintain a maid for that long! hahaha...Ang kunswelo lang namin dito ay hindi magnanakaw ang maid.

[BAISANAN]

helper usually stay pag ok ang salary, konti lang ang member of the family at walang masyadong alagain na bata. , pag may kasama sya bahay or 2 sila, pag hindi ka mahigpit, u treat them as the member of the family. kaso kaya nga tayo nag hire ng helper para makatulong hindi para dagdag intindihin.

[cherrhys]

From our experience, treat them not really as a member of our family per se but rather with a balance of professionalism and concern.  Parang not too chummy-chummy but meron ka pa ring interest or concern with regards to her (their) family or well-being.  We're consistent and clear with our rules, medyo strict but fair.  It's a mixture of being strict and yet open and flexible.  Also if ok ang food sa house, yan yung number one observation ko.  Yung tipong they also get to eat what the employers eat, yan super happy sila.

But the number one thing is yung pakikisama, mahirap siyang iexplain but that's one thing our maids often tell others whenever bumabalik sila sa amin kahit na di naman mataas pasweldo namin.  So far so good naman mga maids namin.

[health.gal]

1. salary
2. how their employers treat them

[twelvth_goddess]

We've had helpers and yayas na nag-stay for a long time kase parang family na din naman ang treatment namin sa kanila. They were sad to leave din. Another reason is most of our maids are from my mom's province kaya they dont feel so alienated kase my mom speaks their dialect and may mga common kakilala sila.

[aquacharly]

Some maids stay for years in the family for the reason that they are treated like members of the family meaning they can lie down on the sala set while watching tv, eat anything they can find in the fridge, clean the house anytime they want.  If they do not feel like cleaning the house for 3 days that is fine with the amo.  If the bathroom is not cleaned for a month, fine.  In other words, they want to be given a lackadaisical treatment wherein they call the shots on how they do things.  They can make chismis all day and that should be fine with the amo.  They can have the whim of not answering the calls of the employer when the employer calls them.  They can talk back to the amo.  Call the amo behind his back as Abogago instead of abogado.  I heard the maid say it and I told my mom but she just said pasensiyahan na lang daw.  Magdabog kung wala sa mood.  Huwag labhan ang mga damit ng mga anak ng amo kasi marami na siyang labahin.  Tuloy ang mga bata na ang naglalaba ng mga damit every weekend para may magamit sa school.  Pati ang professional fee ng dad ko to his clients since he also maintains an office at home, kinukwestyon pa ng maid namin bakit daw ang mahal.  O di ba mas magaling pa siya sa abogado.  LOL! That is the reason why the maid of my mom has been with us for 18 years already.  And my mom is so proud that she was able to maintain a maid for that long! LOL...Ang kunswelo lang namin dito ay hindi magnanakaw ang maid.

OMGrief .. abogago!  18 years is a good track record re keeping a helper... bilib ako sa patience and understanding ng mother mo... kung ako yon... yung 18 years na with me that kind of helper... eh would mean 18 years of wrinkles on my face.  hehe

[aquacharly]

Our Old Yaya (the yaya I shared with my siblings)  has been with my mom for 40 years.

She was actually more there for us than our mom, well at least to us the daughters.
She would wake all of us up, check us if anybody was malingering in the shower, check our baon and that we eat breakfast..  managed our schedules kasi 8 kami eh hindi naman 8 ang cars and drivers...  managed our laundry disribution para what should go where goes where kasi sakit ulo talaga maghanapan... mga ganon...
She also managed our schedule re vaccinations and scheds to the pedia, dentist

I do not recall her ever maltreating us, nor even shouting at us... but she would express exasperation in a funny way... Ang reklamo ko lang sa kanya noon eh she had so much energy to mind all 8 of us, and record our return in the early hours...parang night duty security guard... may kanya kanya kasi kaming curfew (if you go past curfew, grounding for 1 month ang penalty eh)
She was also not abusada... she knew her place and would marshal the other helpers.. naging mayordoma na nga sya ng mother ko eventually

I texted her yesterday.. asked why she stayed so long with our family (my mom is a spoiled brat todate)
Ang sagot ba naman eh:  "kasi ikaw pag hindi kita binantayan alam ko mapariwari ka.  LOL"   
OMGrief!  I have to go look for what that mapariwari means pa

So, could I interpret her reason for staying so long is because she felt needed or had an important role in the family to play out?

IF YOU WILL ALL BE KIND ENOUGH TO RESPOND... IMO, it is the higher pay now that makes them stay long.  Kahit na anong bait mo, basta may higher pay somewhere else.. goodbye!

[wengerts]

^ it's mapapariwara. meaning you will lose your way.

i think she had that personal connection with you and your siblings. normally wala naman paki ang yaya kung ano mangyari sa yo emotionally or spiritually. basta you are healthy, clean, eating well yun na yun.

i agree with you, it's not only higher pay. ang dali dali lumipat no at alam nila mahirap maghanap ng matinong yaya/maid nowadays.

[aquacharly]

Thank you!  oo nga, black sheep ako noon eh.. as in ako lang magaling sumagot sagot sa parents ko   hehe

And this yaya, hay naku, pag hindi ka pa 18 atchaka may visitor ka na guy... naka upo yon doon somewhere near and kunwari cross stitch.  She is also the one who squeals on us if she finds cigarettes in your room, bag or pockets.

I think she stayed on long kahit na circus kami sa dami kasi nobody was rude to her.  Kahit na she gets us grounded (kasalanan naman namin) - as far as I know, magtatampo kami but we do not make her away.  She would always bribe me into a good mood (madalas ako ma ground eh) with pastillas de leche.  hehe

[cashew]

Ako kasi may pagka objective talaga ako in dealing with my maids.  If they are good, I am also good to them but not to the extent that we are already on a chika-chika basis that anytime she can make chika-chika with me.  Most of the time, I want it if I am the one who would initiate the talk and as I can see they also relax and open up.  I really believe kasi in the saying that "too much familiarity breeds contempt".  There must be a certain distance.  I do not really treat my maids like they are members of the family but I am nice to them especially if I see that they are doing their jobs.

I grew up kasi in an environment wherein my mom really spoiled the maids.  She would treat them like members of the family and all the time they turned out to be monsters. There was a time that one of our maids when I was 10 years old hit me with the handle of a broomstick because I did not follow her order to fry eggs when she woke up at 8 in the morning.   I could still remember what she told me, " O, magluto ka ng itlog kasi marami pa akong gagawin".  Sabi ko sa kanya, "ikaw ang magluto kasi duty mo yan, ang tagal mong gumising".  E, di ayon pinalo ang bibig ko ng handle ng walis tingting.  My mom and dad kasi were not in the house as they were in the hospital.  My dad kasi had an operation in the spine.  So nagreyna-reynahan ang maid namin.  There was a time that she would not cook lunch for us kasi it was her way of disciplining us when we were hard-headed.  Elementary pa kami, kami na ng mga kapatid ko (we are four siblings)  naglalaba ng mga damit namin every weekend kasi di nilalabhan ng maid.  marami na daw siya labahin.  Tolerated naman ng mom ko kasi mahirap mawalan ng maid and at the same time character-building daw yan sa amin.  Hay, ang dami pa talaga akong abusive stories ng mga maids na what I analyze is the result of treating them like members of the family.  Those maids have ceased to delineate the line between having the privelege of being treated like family members and being abusive.

The one that my mom right now has been with us for 18 years already.  As usual ubod na talaga ng abusado pero my mom has mustered enough motivation already to convince herself that it is a consolation that the maid she has right now is not a thief.  Better put up with the abuso of the maid than deal with a thief.  Yang maid ng mom, mom ko lang ang sinusunod niyan.  Ang dad sinisigawan lang niya kasi she knows my mom would always side with her.  Kahit nga kaming mga anak ngayon binabastos minsan at sinusumbong namin sa mom ko, my mom would always have the initial reaction of siding with the maid first.  I think my mom is obsessed with the idea of keeping a maid for a long time kahit abusada na.

Kaya ako, I do not treat the maids like members of the family.  But I am nice to them if they are really mabait but I do not mind scolding them if I can see inefficiency and signs of abuse. LOL. Ok lang kung wala akong maid na mag last with us for years as long as I know that I am not breeding a monster kasi biktima na kasi ako ng abusive maids when I was a child.  I have had enough of abusive maids.

[wengerts]

^^ nice hahaha kaya pala ganun yung sagot nya sa yo sis e

[aquacharly]

Grabe tiaga ng mother mo ha, CASHEW.

My mom was also very dependent on helpers, coz she preferred attending to her social life, but they all knew their place in the household.  Buti na lang hindi nagsi abuso.  Even old yaya to whom our mom practically handed our daily living to on a silver platter.. never shouted at us, or even showed a  hint of pagkasuya nor inis (exasperation, yes:  naku bata ka! pag nalaman ng papa mo!)

Yes, I am like you.  I discourage familiarity.  I respect them, I train my kids to respect them... like office employees -- but there, there is a line they better not cross, they feel that, know it and adhere to it.   

Yang sabat sabat sa conversation na hindi sila kasama, yang pagka presko, yang bad mood bad mood... ah hindi yan puede sa akin... out! 

[crystalclear]

I'm not very fortunate in keeping maids & yayas. I just don't know what they want anymore. I must agree that those that stay are those that I tolerate when they become abusive or lax in their duties. But eventually, I get fed up, say my piece, and then they leave (nagtatampo). I've also had several maids leave w/o permission (tumatakas) because  they don't want to pay their debts or "bale" na. Ang saklap nga e, kasi pag nakikiusap ng "advance or bale, di ko rin matiis na hindi bigyan. Tapos pag malaki na utang, umaalis na sila Right now, I have only 1 yaya ( but I regularly have 2-3 maids) who has been w/ us for 1.5 years. Pero mahilig umuwi at mag absent, pero tiis tiis na lang ako. At least mabait naman sa anak ko at hindi nagnanakaw (ay sobrang importante).Mas mahirap ata ang wala...

[aquacharly]

As I said, in another thread, we should start to change with the times.. the times of scraping the bottom of the barrel (engot engot na mga helpers as CASHEW put it accurately) are upon us.  Coupled with the decrease in IQ is the increase in abusive behavior.

Whatever "carrot" or combination of "carrots" we use nowadays to keep competent help... you are not alone CRYSTALCLEAR with regards to the problem of keeping helpers.  They are just a restless lot now.  And they text each other .. parang mga call center agents na nga eh... the way they move around from 1 employer to another. 

Teka, maybe we can learn a thing or two from the call centers.. how to keep employees long.

And yes, it appears now that the most successfull  "carrot" for keeping helpers long is to be at the receiving end of their abusive or presko behavior and their inferior ways.   Grabe.  eh hindi na ka-tulong tawag doon...

[Vera]

In my experience:

1. High pay

2. Good amo (mabait, understanding, di masyadong strict)

3. Foreigner amo

4. Good food

5. Lots of free time

[genericme]

Hi. This is my first post so I'm a newbie here. I just had to respond to this thread. I so agree with aquacharly. It's the pay that makes helpers stay. Treating them well is one factor but just isn't enough. Iba na ngayon.

Yes times have indeed changed so we should adjust na rin. Good, reliable and above all trustworthy maids are so hard to find these days. When I was younger, our maids stayed on for years and years. Ngayon mahirap na hanapin ang ganyan. You treat them well, pero minsan ikaw pa ang niloloko at iniisahan. Can you tell I'm so disappointed and frustrated with the maids these days. lol

[sherby]

pag foreigner yung amo chaka highly paid

[hunny_ally]

the yaya of my daughter's classmate only gets Php2.5k per month. this has been going on for 2 years daw. and take note, it's not as if the amos cant afford to give a higher salary. the kid is in fact the apo of an real estate mogul (i wont name names na lang).

why does she stay?

- she gets to meet artistas daw. kasi the real estate is heavily involved in showbusiness.
- she gets to travel with them (she has been to HK, macau, Japan, etc)

[ysa.belle]

^wow sis, bongga the yaya of your daughter's classmate ha