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Been reading posts here truly your stories are making me cry...i don't know if it is appropriate to share this here...I'm married but for the last three months my husband and I have not spoken to each other...No matter how hard I have stopping myself from making the first move because I have already awaken from his vicious lies and all...So I'm just taking advantage of everything even if gusto ko na syang layasan since he is not physically hurting me i'm staying in our house...he pays the house, water and electric bills, provides mineral water...patigasan kami ubos na ang laundry and toiletries hindi talaga ako bumibili for us but i bought for myself and i keep it for myself...ubos na condiments hindi talaga ako bumibili...ubos na m-gas hindi rin talaga ako bumibili...so its free board and lodging for me that's how i looked at it...i arranged the house how i wanted it to look like, removed the things he did because he wanted it even if i don't like it except for the room he is sleeping in and it felt good...hindi nya ko binati nung anniversary namin, pero nagbirthday ako binati nya ko via e-mail pero walang i love you or i'm sorry na kasama nag-reply ako with a one liner: thank you.in our silence i begun to figure out the truth behind his lies...and realized a lot of things and one of those is he is doing the same thing he did to his ex-gf before me and i was a fool to believe him...i am also tempted to message his ex-gf via fb to confirm all my theories and talk to her but i don't know if its appropriate or it'll just make me look like a pathetic with her saying "sabi ko na sayo..."sometimes, i cry alone not because he is not talking to me but i cry for myself for only hearing not listening to my parents for being foolish to fall for all the bluffs, was so naive then...sometimes, i'm happy because i can enjoy the things i want without asking for permission or taking into consideration his sched, i can do whatever I want with the house, i can use up my money for whatever i want...sometimes, i'm sad thinking that i have not yet found the love i deserve, the forever love i wished for, for not having the kids i thought i will have, that i am alone watching a movie...but i feel i have to go through this so i may learn to love myself, so i may have the courage to face the truth...i know i'm older than you gals are but like you i am also broken...yet surviving and moving on...BTW, this GT forum has helped me a lot through the years...
^thanks sis, since you are a newbie you might have not stumbled on my story over the years on other threads...The whole story is a long story and what you have read is only a small part of my journey (an update after my last posts on my lovelife years back) but i thank you for taking interest. Over the years, I realized (in my case) the first move does not have to be coming up to him and speaking up which I have done for so many times in the past, maybe its coming up to myself and telling "me" to wake up look beyond the love i have for him, forgiving myself and eventually communicate to him i can on my own and not because i have him...I have tried what you have suggested and its about time to try and explore other options that might work...
parang di ko na kaya ..7 days na kame di naguusap..kahit isang text wala ko nareceive from him..gusto ko na magfirst move para kausapin siya pero iniisip ko iisipin na naman niya siya ang tama..pero nahihirapan na talaga ko..hay