How to deal with this pain alone?

[sweetestCORN]

maybe nakarinig ka na ng thousands of advice and maybe pare parehas lang halos ang advice sayo... and maybe after this sis magtatanong ka pa din sa iba and so on.... been there sis.. anuman iadvice sayo ng buong mundo e ikaw lang mkakatulong sa sarili mo. i know that you know sis the truth. what's right and wrong. what to do and not to do. pero diba mahirap kasi gawin e. kasi nagmamahal ka. kahit magmukha ka t**** mas masaya ka umasa... kahit na unting ginawa nya e binibigyan mo ng kahulugan.. hoping na babalikan ka nya. but it doesn't work that way. honestly napatunayan ko... the more na nagpapakakawawa ka sa kanila mas lalo sila natuturn off o lumalaki ulo. my point is... it is up to you. and there will be times that you will lose control. so advice ko... just go with the flow. time heals all wounds. matagal man yan o mabilis. you will get there. everything will fall into place. to the point na yung mga tanong mo kung bakit nangyari yan will no longer matter. if you choose to help yourself... much better. goodluck sis!

[fa2be]

ganito din nararamdaman ko ngayon.. 

[bjorky]

iiyak mo lang yan until wala na.. then pray.. make yourself occupied. Hanap ka ng paglilibangan. Love yourself.

[calin22]

me too.. sana kaya ko to... and i really dont know how to start...

[ysa.belle]

^basta dapat nakapag-grieve ka na muna para mailabas mo yung pain...
get a haircut. go to the spa and treat yourself. then you will feel a bit better. that would be a great start...

go out with your friends and make yourself busy.

[PoshGlitter]

I know how you're feeling sis... I'm also in the similar situation... Tama yung advice na allow yourself to grieve, iiyak mo lang yan. Iiyak mo pero give yourself a deadline, hindi pwede gabi gabi mag ggrieve ka. Not only will it make you feel the hurt longer; it will also take the time you should be having to recover.

Ako, I grieved and begged. Begging wasn't a wise decision kasi in the end parang bumaba lang yung tingin ko sa sarili ko, pero during those times na I was begging I felt like I couldn't stop it; para bang, "sige isa pang try, baka this time it'll work" pero it did not. But since I did it already, I don't want to hurt myself more by regretting it. Inisip ko na lang na I did give it my last try, wala ng what ifs and what could have beens, wala na talaga, so I have NO reason not to move on.

It's your choice to move on and let go sis. Mahirap and masakit pero moving on and letting go is the only way out of this pain. Mahirap pero possible, iniisip lang natin na imposible kasi gusto natin magwork ang relationship na tayo na lang ang naniniwalang mag wowork.

Pray sis. Pray pray pray. Sometimes I go to the church alone, any time of the week and nagdadasal lang ako. Kinakausap si God, umiiyak sakanya. Then I'll feel better. Write it out. Write it all out. Listen to feel-good songs. Wag na yung sad love songs. Dapat happy uplifting songs na. Make yourself busy--- find a job, do well in school, do well at work. Prettify yourself not because you want your ex to want you back but because you owe yourself that decision to feel good and look good. Do things for yourself from now on. Buy a self-help book about break-ups if you must. I'm lovin' the book "It's called a break-up because it's broken."

Accept the facts, choose to let go and take steps to move on.

Honestly ako nahihirapan pa din kasi naiisip ko pa din siya madalas pero knowing na may control ka over your feelings and decisions is good enough already to prove na you have a choice. And you'll choose to be happy syempre.

Kahit sandamakmak na advices pa ang ibigay saten, nasasatin pa din yung sagot--- whether to take all these advices or not.

Kaya if you want to stop hurting, deal with it now. Wag ng iprolong.

Kaya natin toh'. Kaya mo ito sis.

[calin22]

^thanks poshglitter and ysa.belle kakayanin ko to!

[ysa.belle]

I hope you won't get mad at me for saying this pero that guy does not deserve you. Kasi if he does, hindi ka dapat pinaiyak at sinaktan ng ganyan. remember this sis, its not your lost, its HIS. there will come a day when wala ka ng feelings talaga sa kanya tapos bigla niyang marerealize ang worth mo, pag dumating ang time na yun eh magdusa na siya since a great girl like you does not deserve a guy like him.

kita ko age mo, you are still sooooo young. madami pang manliligaw sayo at madami rin na guys who will go crazy over you. hayaan mo na siya. after what he did eh he just showed what kind of guy he is. he is not worth it. 

[calin22]

^sis ysa.belle: tama ka talaga.. i deserve someone better than him.. yun ang alam ko.. it just so hard to deal with this pain inside me... and promise.. nakakabaliw mag-isa at walang makausap...

[michipoo]

Thanks for all the replies and those who shared their own stories. 

update:
we then tried again ( or should I say, I tried ) na maayos. on/off relationship again. madaming pains and tears and nadagdag. Binigay ko lahat ng kaya ko ibigay, inintindi lahat ng excuses, tiniis lahat kahit na wala siyang oras sakin.  alam ko ang t**** ko hindi ko kinaya na panindigan na layuan siya, mahirap kasi. But then i realized its not really working, pareho lang kami nahihirapan. you are all true, kahit anong payo pa sabihin niyo kung di ko din tutulungan sarili ko walang mangyayari.

I tried to make things work out again kasi akala ko he would change, akala ko this time magiging okay na. everyday i wake up im hoping na sana ito na yung araw na inaantay ko na maging maayos na talaga kami. Evry night i cry kasi nagaantay ako sakanya ng ilang oras, nagpupuyat para lang makausap siya, tapos kakausapin niya ko ng 5 mins tapos tutulugan na ko. LDR kami kaya texts and calls lang communication namin. Di naman ao humihingi ng sobra sobra sa oras niya, yung tama lang para samin. I dont know what to do ang hirap hindi siya isipin. here I am again soo broken. alam ko di matatapos to hanggat hindi ko tinataggap ang katotohanan. 

[aquacharly]

MICHIPOO  well, each one of us may diskarte nga sa buhay... how much we can take, how far we can go.. that is our decision, and we should not be judged for our decisions.

MICHIPOO and CALIN22,  you must be gathering your strength to go through another round with this love of yours, or to make that 1st small step to move on.  Whichever you decide on, it will help you to talk to someone competent AND non judgmental.    PM me if you are interested... no, I do not gain anything on this offer.   It is part of my advocacy to connect people.   

Take care of yourselves.

[hidding]

Hi, alam mo sis I'm alson in an LDR was pala, akala ko ok na kahit kagaya mo wala di syang time for me, I'd wait for hrs. kung kailan ko sya makakausap madalas pa nga naghihintay pala ako sa wala, hintay ako ng hintay yun pala tulog na or umalis kasama mga friends nya. I really felt so neglected. Pero tiniis ko thinking it's all temporary at magbabago yun pagnagkasama na kami. Before kasi may plan kami to get married kahit civil lang para makuha nya na ko. We started planning then nabago ng nabago hanggang sa di na napag uusapan and everytime na inoopen ko umiiwas na sya, until I finally got the courage to ask him ang sagot nya sa akin, he doesn't know what to answer daw so I ask him ano na ba ang plans namin, then sabi nya he is happy kung ano meron and that he is confused na daw after hearing mga excuses nya I decided right there and then to let him go. ang labo pa nga eh ayaw nya kasi pag usapan tapos nagtype na lang ako telling him that I'm giving his freedom back di naman sya nagreact hindi sya nagsabi ng ok or ng sige wala tapos nilagay ko goodbye take care of yourself and basta happy sya yun ang importante send lang nya sa akin yung emoticon na talk to my hand. Ang labo di ba so ngayon hindi pa rin nya ko kinakausap so I'm thinking baka nga tinggap nya na yung decision ko na yun. So here I'am moving forward ang goal.

[chengkii]

Ang A$$h073 naman nung jowa mo.

[superboink]

http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,223253.0.html

yan naman ang love (if there's love in it..) story ko. I'm not dealing this naman alone kasi nandyan full support ang family at friends ko. Pero alone nadin kasi physically mag-isa ako. Mag-isa ako here sa phils. kaya I'm really having a hard time. I miss him so much kahit kasi ganun siya para ko na siyang naging security blanket at siya yung laging nandyan for me since I'm alone nga. LDR kami in a way na nasa south ako at siya nasa QC. Imagine kinaya ko lahat ng ginawa niya sakin siguro for the sake na ayoko mag-isa. Nakakabaliw mga sis ang silence.. ang ulan.. I even begged to have him back pero its obviously against all odds. May mga nanliligaw sakin pero ayoko. Na-trauma ako mga sis. Natatakot akong magka-breakdown, pinipilit ko nalang din kasi maging okay. I have no work.. I'm a total bum right now. I feel so weak and alone. Prayers is one thing that keeps my sanity.

[GeRi Sp!cE]

Start a new hobby. Find new friends. Do all the things you can't do because you had a boyfriend. Mingle. Mingle. Mingle.

[misschic]

hi im also dealing with a very hurtful break up, 5 days ago lang. wala ako masabihan dahil ndi alam ng family ko tungkol sa kanya (2years,3months). its really hard and very very painful. im becoming dysfunctional pero bigla ko narealize it will do no good to me specially graduating nako this october. what i do is mega blog talaga. kahit minumiuto just to vent out whatever i feel. sa totoo lang ang hardest times is at night and morning. halos di nako nakakatulog ng maayos. but ive decided to be strong for myself. kay God ko nalang sinasabi lahat ng saloobin ko and i listen and sing worship songs to remind myself that kahit ndi nako mahal ng taong mahal ko, anjan parin si God na mahal ako ng sobra kahit anong mangyari.

one step at a time. dadating din tayo sa "moved on" stage.

[misao]

Hi, alam mo sis I'm alson in an LDR was pala, akala ko ok na kahit kagaya mo wala di syang time for me, I'd wait for hrs. kung kailan ko sya makakausap madalas pa nga naghihintay pala ako sa wala, hintay ako ng hintay yun pala tulog na or umalis kasama mga friends nya. I really felt so neglected. Pero tiniis ko thinking it's all temporary at magbabago yun pagnagkasama na kami.

Evry night i cry kasi nagaantay ako sakanya ng ilang oras, nagpupuyat para lang makausap siya, tapos kakausapin niya ko ng 5 mins tapos tutulugan na ko. LDR kami kaya texts and calls lang communication namin. Di naman ao humihingi ng sobra sobra sa oras niya, yung tama lang para samin. I dont know what to do ang hirap hindi siya isipin. here I am again soo broken. alam ko di matatapos to hanggat hindi ko tinataggap ang katotohanan. 

I feel exactly the same. LDR kami for almost a year, we've been together for 7 years. Hinihingi ko lang naman sa kanya Saturday just like before, nung nasa Manila pa ko. Saturday kasi kami lumalabas. One week akong maghihintay tapos biglang may lakad pala sya. Pwede naman syang gumising ng maaga para hindi naman ako mapuyat pag nagusap kami. Pero tatawag sya dito ng 10pm, 1pm dyan.

More than a month na kaming walang communication. Feeling ko meron na syang iba. Pagod na rin akong umiyak, kasi since June pa kami magkagalit. Ang hirap kasi wala akong magawa para maayos to, wala akong friends dito, wala akong masabihan kasi ayokong mag-worry ang mom ko kasi may sakit sya.

I pray every night sana matapos na tong pain. Sana nga maubos na sa kakaiyak ko. Ang hirap matulog, ang hirap bumangon sa umaga, ang hirap kumilos. Hindi ko na alam anong gagawin ko.

[summersong]

Start a new hobby. Find new friends. Do all the things you can't do because you had a boyfriend. Mingle. Mingle. Mingle.

I agree. I suddenly found myself with a massive amount of newly-freed time when I got rid of the w@nk*r. What to do with more free time? Travel to some places I've always wanted to go. Mingle? Of course. ;-) there can never be too many friends in one's life.

There should be a travel or meet group for the newly-single. Each can take turns throwing plates at a wall pretending it's the ex's head. lol.

[jasive51]

Same kme ng case ni sis michipoo but ang pinagkaiba lang namin un ex ko after ko makipagbreak he never communicate with me.hindi ko alam if pumapayag siya..sa text lang kasi ako nakipagbreak..wala kasi siya time pumunta sa amin..un friendster acct niya nakita ko wala na un mga picture namin dun so inassume ko na ayaw na rin niya..masakit kasi kahit mahal mo pa di ka na rin masaya sa tinatakbo ng relasyon namen palagi kame nagaaway..2yrs and 4mos madali lang ba kalimutan ang lahat?

[minikeyklush]

mga sis im a newbie here share lang ng thought.. i am also going through a lot of heartache din as of this time di p din ako ganun ka - okay pero one thing gaya nung nasabe ko sa isang thread na -->

naniniwala ako na may results yung lahat ng decisions naten na di tama sa buhay, so yung mga nakasakit sken, much better if ipagpasa Dyos nalan watever they did, in time,mas mabuting sila yung walang masabi sayo, dahil in due time, mas painful sa knila if maaalala nila yung mga good things na ngawa naten for them pero hindi na nila pwede mabalikan kasi we are not there for them na.. db hehe .. 

i know na it'll pass, wala namang permanente, yun nga lang yung hardest part sa pingdadaanan naten mga sis is yung present,, bsta keep on praying lang..