For wives with byenan.. opinions please

[rjaye_2000]

ako hindi ko naman kasama MIL ko pero araw araw naman nasa amin.
nakakainis masyadong pakealamera. lahat na lang ng bagay pinapakialaman. tuwing nagaaway kame ni hubby gustong gusto ko na rin sagot sagot si MIL. kaya lang pinipigilan ko kasi baka ako pa lumabas na masama(sigurado) kaya lang nakakainis kasama. may sarili nga kaming bahay. lagi naman andoon ang MIL. parang hindi rin kami nakabukod diba?

mahirap nga yan sis. ganyan din situation ng officemate ko. pati daw niluluto niya para sa family niya eh laging may side comment. 

[kaice]

i used to have a good relationship with MIL and the rest of my husband's family pero when we told them that we are getting married, everything changed!!!

"saan daw kami kukuha ng pero, wala daw silang pera, etc"

the following year, we told them that we are getting married and we have savings for it. (Hubby is a doctor, youngest in the brood of 3 and is the first to get married, majority of our savings are mine since he is still in residency)

the wedding preps with them are super stressful with a lot of side comments even if they wont pay a single cent for the wedding. relatives from US and Canada had press release of pledges for the wedding but we didn't received any. I even both the 2 ninongs their barongs even they told me that they are going pay me but  I havent received any, even any gift from them (they were my hubby's uncles)

day of the wedding, they were telling the guests na "Biglaan kasi tong kasal na ito" a ninang close to me who knows my battle with them told me after the wedding. All my guests were very happy during our wedding, my bigtime ninongs even said that he thinks it costed around a million and everything was organized. but MIL, BIL and hubby's relatives seemed not be happy, the wedding pictures and videos can tell.

i have been paying for a condo even before we got married and i told hubby that i don't want to live in their house. we stayed distant from them but everytime there is a family occasion, i can't be comfortable with all the side comments that i hear. i kept some of them in secret because i know hubby would feel bad and will get stuck between me and his family. i am six months pregnant and i hope i wont receive any comments on how i bring up my daughter. i have seen my in laws raised their first apo and i dont really like the SPOILED BRAT CHILD who keeps hitting them, punching them, slapping their faces when he don't get what he likes. and her single parent mom (SIL) doesnt even care.

i will stay to be civil as long as they don't pester me. i don't know if they have been asking money form hubby, but with his meager allowance, i hope they will understand that i have been working hard for our family. i think MIL wants ROI for paying for hubby's education.

oh well.. at least i know i'm not in this situation alone..

*hugs* to all! 

[myles_away]

Naku sabi nga art of deadma lang yan!ü pero if its about raising my daughter. Pasensya na lang at sasagot talaga ako but in a nice way naman. Pero minamasama pa din. Deadma [textspeak!]! I always tell hubby everything they do and say para lam nya. He knows naman im having hard time dealing with his mom. Sana we can have our own house na. Kaso hubby wants a few blocks from their house lang. I think that would not make a difference from what i read here.. Hay.. Ipagpray nalang natin sila..

[frappysabz]

hays, i have byenan na mabait naman. tinry ko pakisamahan.. pero ayun, hindi talaga carry. ang dami sinasabi pag uwi mo from work kesyo tamad ka or magastos sa kuryente. buti na lang nakabukod na kami, but the sad part is. nawalan ng work si hubby and sensitive na pagbubuntis ko,. mas praktikal na lang umalis sa apartment, dahil si hubby mahina din loob. ang hirap, kasi dun siya sa kanila ako samen, since ayaw niya itry samin tumira (pride). we have 3 kids already. i just gave birth last june 4, 2011. so sad, nag ka family problem pa kami and money involve. hindi ako pinag tanggol ni hubby. i dont know the real story kasi di din siya open sakin. hanggang sa ngayon, malamig kami sa isa't isa don't know what our status and ano para sa kids. napilitan ako mag work ulit kahit liit pa baby girl ko. hayyyyys ang pride ng lalaki, at maka-nanay din kasi

[k_heart]

^Hay naku sis, mahirap talaga noh pag lalake ang mahina ang loob. Pansin ko din talaga, majority ng marriage, yung babae talaga ang mas malakas ang loob at sandalan more than the guy. Majority, hindi naman lahat. Hay, yang pride talaga na yan. Hindi naman pwedeng ipakain sa mga anak.
Mahirap din talaga pag lalake ang nawalan ng trabaho.

[indigo.tulle]

 

Yup, the key is really to have your own place when you get married. If I could do everything over, I would not have gotten married yet kasi nga, wala pa kaming sariling house. A lot of the problems my husband and I encounter is because of the...er, "interest" of my MIL. My MIL pa naman is the type to discourage her children from separating from the main house kasi, having her children around is too convenient. Siyempre, mawawalan siya ng driver (my SIL and BIL both drive for her, di kasi marunong and gusto niya feeling donya siya lagi). The way she orders her children around is nasty. And yes, she also has a very high regard for her mothering skills. For someone who's approaching 60, major bratinella pa din siya. I'm feeling kind of sorry for my niece (daughter ng brother ni hubby) because she seems to be next in line in becoming bratinella #2. I for one, have no intention of letting my daughter become bratinella #3. 

i feel the exact same way now, its only been months since we got married and sana i demanded na we live separately.    we couldn't afford then kasi to live on our own, after spending for the wedding ourselves (to which mil was telling everyone that they and his son spent for it....). 

it was fine then, i was doing okay with them, until humihingi siya ng strand of hair and nail (kuko). hubby refused and dun nagsimula lahat ng gulo sa bahay.  tipong gagawa siya ng scenario tapos papalabasin lahat ng kamalian namin down to the last detail, behind our back.  she's still talking to me like we're close in front of everyone but i'd see her eyes looking at us like naiisahan niya kami.

i wish we'd separate but at the moment, every cent counts.....i worry now if i'm carrying a child tapos super nega ang situation sa bahay.

[yndy]

it was fine then, i was doing okay with them, until humihingi siya ng strand of hair and nail (kuko). hubby refused and dun nagsimula lahat ng gulo sa bahay. 

ang creepy naman ntio sis... ano nama kaya gagawin nya dun?

[twelvth_goddess]

KAICE, nakakainis yang in-laws mo. But as they say, part talaga sila ng package

With my MIL and [textspeak!], wala, neutral lang. We have minimal interaction since we live far from them. Pag nagkita, hi, hello, kwento, ganyan. I'm happy na din with the set up kase I don't like any issues, wala kong time sa ganyan and at the same time, no patience din. Although I know na they're here for us naman and the same way with us din for them.

[indigo.tulle]

ang creepy naman ntio sis... ano nama kaya gagawin nya dun?

i really don't know sis but for sure, its not for the best for us, the couple.  masyado kasi siyang mainggitin, pati sa anak niyang babae ndi siya pwedeng masapawan. at kung nasapawan mo nga siya (unintentionally), gagawa siya ng stories at maghahanap ng kakampi against you.  ndi kami nawawalan ng mga issues sa bahay.  mega bad vibes talaga sobra.



sis KAICE, i was misdiagnosed as pregnant by my ob and at that time, nagfocus ako sa baby ko...sobrang pinilit ko hindi mapansin lahat ng kasakiman nila, hope you can do the same for your baby kasi mahirap nasa-dugo nila yun.  least, that's what my lola told me.  now, am just really worried when i do get pregnant.

[slovy]

Ako naman, wala na ko mga byenan. They're passing na. Mga hipag na lang at bayaw.

And I'm soooo very grateful for them. Wala talaga kaming problema since the very beggining ng aming pagsasama ni hubby. They're very good to me. To my son, they treated him as their own too. And even to my family mabait sila.

Ang opinion ko lang, siguro to have a very healthy and good relationship with the inlaws is dapat may tamang pakikisama. It plays a big role talaga. Yun kasi ginagawa ko. Nirerespeto ko mga sinasabi nila. Never silang nakarinig ng negative from me. Kapag nagtatampo sila sakin o sa asawa ko, I always say sorry kahit pa minsan may mali din sila. Kapag naman di kami nagkakasundo ni hubby, hindi ko pinapakita sa kanila na galit ako. Kapag naman nagcocomment sila na yung anak ko bakit di ko kahawig, etc. etc.. pagdating din kasi sa anak ko over protective sila, kahit maliit na bite marks or konting rashes napapansin. sinasabi agad baka di nyo ito binabantayan o inaalagaan ng maayos? na medyo nakakasakit na rin. I didin't take it seriously, tatawanan ko na lang, hindi ako nagagalit.. Kung may binibigay sila, pinapakita ko na naapreciate ko yun ng sobra, maliit man o malaki. Hindi ako sumisipsip, hindi ko rin sila pinaplastic. Kung may hihilingin sila sa asawa ko, like sya muna magpapasweldo sa katulong nila sa kabilang bahay, ok lang din sa akin ako pa magsabi sa asawa ko na wag syang kumontra. Nun ding di pa kami nagkaanak, pinapashoulder din muna kay hubby yung mga bills sa kabilang bahay, wala rin akong problema dun, hindi ko sila pinapakialaman, wala silang narinig na masama mula sa akin. At pag kinakausap ko din sila o kinakausap nila ako, I always use, po at opo. kaya yun, mabait silang lahat sa akin. Nirerespeto din nila ako gaya ng pagrespeto ko sa kanila. 

[PurpleBubbleGum]

Hehe mga sis! My MIL strikes again!

I am pregnant now. Just found out. We are set to move out in 2 months dahil grabe talaga ugali ni MIL. Feeling magaling at tama palagi. Feeling reyna ng bahay pero kami naman nagbabayad ng lahat. I know she doesnt like me and she never will sa simula palang.

Pero kahapon, grabe iyak ko kasi 1st ultrasound ko and she found out na nagbbleed/ spotting ako. Sabi nya, "Nakunan ka..."  Tapos yung way ng pagsasalita nya, makikita mo sa mukha nya na siguradong sigurado sya at walang ounce ng care na apo nya ang dinadala ko. Sa isip isip ko, "nakunan agad? eh wala pa nga.." So we went in and talked to the doctor and di pa mahanap nasan ang baby ko, wala sa loob at labas ng uterus ko. Either ectopic, miscarriage or masyado pang maaga at nagfoform pa sya. So when we told her the news, "Sabi na eh, tama ako eh..." with enthusiasm and delight.

Bwisit na bwisit talaga ako at nainis sa kanya. How can she be so sensitive? It's life we are talking about here? Apo nya... pero wala syang pakialam. Parang delighted pa sya at tinatago yung excitement nya na malaglag ang anak ko. Sabi ko sa asawa ko, konti na lang sasagutin ko na yung nanay mo. Pero nagtitiis parin ako. She is definitely the most annoying, insecure, selfish, know-it-all at insensitive na taong nakilala ko....

Cant wait to move out...