Career Woman or Stay At Home Mom - What would you choose if you have a choice?

[sweet angel]

sis Genivy, oo nga sana wag naman mauwi sa hiwalayan, baka makuha pa sa magandang usapan 

ako din ok lang daw kay hubby ke magwork o hindi pero mas gusto nya daw ako yung nagaalaga sa anak namin kasi mas kampante sya tutal nakakapagprovide naman sya ng maayos at nakakaipon naman kahit paano. pero napagusapan namin na magipon pangbusiness para pagbalik namin dyan sa pinas makapagbusiness ako, by that time di na masyado alagain yun kid/s namin.

[kmjlara]

haha!!pasenya na kayo mga sissies (kwinchesters,Genivy21)medyo natawa ako though i know kung gaano kahirap financially ang maging SAHM.Almost the same tayo ng dilemma,especially sis kwinchesters, balak ko talaga mag training para mag caregiver abroad. Kahit gustong gusto kong magfull time mom may mga taong nakikialam at parang alam nila ang lahat ng bagay sa mundo.Supportive din naman ang husband ko, pero sa ngayon kailangan ko talagang mag work para sa kanila ng baby ko. Pero tinitimbang ko pa rin between my baby at kung sakali man ang pagtatrabaho ko abroad. At kapag naiisip kong magiging kawawa ang baby ko, pikit mata ko na lang sinasabi na kailangan ko talagang magtrabaho at kumita ng pera para sa family namin..naaawa din kasi ako sa husband ko, kailangan ko siyang tulungan..=(

[BumbleBee]

Thank God I found this thread. I am currently at a crossroads too sisses. It took us more than two years to conceive because meron akong hormonal imbalance. When I learned that I am finally pregnant last Feb pinag bed rest agad ako ng doctor. Now, I am back to work. I am working as a manager in a finance industry. I am currently handling 14 people and super stressful ang work. Mentally stressed sa ginagawa and emotionally stressed din kasi syempre pag may hinahawakan kang tao, some of them tend to disappoint you talaga. Part na talaga ng everyday job ko is to drive and push people. I feel guilty each time I am stressed because I believe the baby might feel it too. Yesterday during mass, the talk was about being a stay at home mom. Iyak talaga ako ng iyak. I am now contemplating quitting my job because in my mind hindi worth it ang career over baby's safety.

Hirap din tumalikod knowing you have lots of responsibility at work. Scared din on how I will compensate of me loosing my salary. Medyo ok din yung sweldo ko. So many things that I have to consider pero gusto ko mag pursigi at mag hanap ng pwedeng pag kakitaan outside the corporate world. Any advise sisses on where I can start looking for other income streams?

Thanks in advance.

[kwinchesters]

Yesterday during mass, the talk was about being a stay at home mom. Iyak talaga ako ng iyak. I am now contemplating quitting my job because in my mind hindi worth it ang career over baby's safety.

Yan din reason ko sis. The money we'll gonna make is not worth over our children's welfare. Yun nga daw from birth to 7 years ng bata eh crucial stage dahil dyan ang foundation ng kanilang character.
I've been SAHM for 7 years na din. Meron akong naging trabaho in between pero gusto naming magasawa tutukan muna yung anak kong babae. By next year 8 years old na anak ko, and i decided na magwork na uli. Im confident naman na for 7 years being with my daughter marami nakong na-impart sa kanya, kumbaga nalagpasan na yung crucial stage ng pagiging baby,paglalakad,pagsasalita,pag build ng good manners and right conduct. But this doesnt mean na pabayaan ko na yung anak ko, medyo mas less na lang ang supervision,besides yung husband ko naman magtake over sa bahay.

[Stellar27]

kung pwede lang, mas gugustuhin ko maging sahm kesa mag work sa opisina. mag nenegosyo siguro ako at home para meron pa din kaunting kita, that way makakatulong pa din ako kay hubs and di ko mafifeel na wala ako pera kasi sanay din ako na sumsweldo ako

pero sa ngayon while my husband is still trying to figure out ano gusto niya negosyo di muna ako bibitiw sa trabaho ko. sayang din kikitain. 

[ceejhei]

^ ako din, na-gguilty ako everytime i leave for work. Yaya ang nakaka witness ng mga bagay na ako dapat ang nakabantay sa baby ko. its so hard pero kailangan talaga. Sino ba naman gusto mahiwalay sa babies natin at ipaubaya nalang sa mga taong hindi naman natin kadugo. Kaya as much as possible, kapag dating ko sa house nasaakin na ang baby ko.

If maging maayos lang lahat, i will resign from work and be with my baby at home.

[joannarabara]

mga sisses,

imo lang, if naproprovide ni husband yung needs ng family and may konting natitira for emergency/special cases, then i guess better to be with your babies/kids. come to think of it, masgusto ng mga babies natin na kasama nila tayong mga mommies kaysa bigyan niyo sila ng toys or ipasyal sa kung saan-saan. not unless, nasanay na sila na ganun.

base sa experience ko nung bata ako, tumatakbo ako sa mommy ko if may ipapabili lang ako or may gusto ako but i go to my yaya pagnasugatan ako, nagugutom, inaway ako ng playmates ko etc etc. and ayokong mangyari sa mga kids ko yun.

right now, may helper pa din ako pero assistance lang ang pinoprovide niya. i am still the one bathing, feeding, playing etc etc my babies. and super naeenjoy kong nwiwitnesss every milestones nila. someday, ma kwekwento ko lahat sa kanila yung first word nila, first attempt to lie on their tummy etc etc.

observation ko din, yung mga hands-on ang mommies sa kids, lesser yung sick days ng mga kids nila and if nagkakasakit mild lang.

mga sis, masiyado na kasi tayo bombarded ng mga material things na kala natin kailangan ng mga anak natin. pero sa totoo lang, all they want is our love, affection and attention.

[twix]

For me, na experience ko na as SAHM and CAREER pero iba pa rin kung pareho kumikita sa panahon ngayon medyo mahirap ang buhay, and siguro kanya kanya lang tayo kung  saan tayo magiging komportable at masaya para sa atin. as being sahm or career.

Sa ngayon I want my own business para na rin time to time nakikita ang kids ko, kaya lang medyo wala pa kami capital sa business sa ngayon, kaya eto I'll plan go back to work and  one thing my worried at my aged of 30's medyo mahirap nakahanap na ng work, but I'm trying best to find a good job hoping if giving a chance  na may tumangkap pa akin. ;)hahaha...

[glamorosa_mom]

hi sisses, i feel you!!  this used to be my dilemma too.  when i gave birth, i stopped working since ako mismo ayoko muna mag-yaya.  ayoko mahawakan ng iba ang baby ko. ako lang dapat. full time mom ako noon. then after like seven months, parang hinanap ko ang work.  i dont know, maybe because my mind and body is used to working so na-miss ko siguro. and one thing i miss too is earning my own money.  my husband got us covered, pero hindi talaga ako sanay.  im not used to getting money from him so to buy personal stuff.  parang ang feeling ko pabigat ako, though sa totoo lang hindi naman dahil okay naman ang salary ni hubby.  but still hindi ako mapakali sa ganung set-up.

so i decided to get a part-time yaya.  i decided to go back to work.  since family business naman ako nagwowork,nakiusap ako sa dad ko if i can work for just 4 times a week, then the rest take home work.  paperworks naman sya mostly so pinayagan ako.  i also could go to the office very early, then go home very early too as long as i finish the work.

do not get me wrong, i miss my baby everytime he's not with me.  kaya mas ginaganahan ako to finish my work as fast as possible so i can leave na and go home. and pag kasama ko sya, quality time talaga. ako lahat, tutok na tutok kay baby.   

[mommytaf]

Mahirap talaga pag SAHM lalo na kung hindi naman financially stable.  Pero worth it naman since maraming ways to cut expenses pag sa bahay ka.  Mas malaking tipid din when it comes to medical expenses dahil hindi sakitin ang mga bata.

Sana lang lahat tayong SAHM, makahanap ng ways to augment our income kahit sa bahay lang.  Good luck to us mommies!

[vanillamist]

parang napapaisip din ako between the two.. i will be giving birth this july, gusto ko ako mag alaga kay baby pero worried naman ako kung wala akong work.. si hubby kahit paano kumikita naman pero hindi naman din stable and maybe it will not be enough to cover our needs esp. pag anjan na si baby.. so kailangan ko talaga mag work.. at isa pa, hindi rin ako sanay na walang kinikita every payday..  naiisip ko lang pag sahm, parang super nakakainip din at baka hanap hanapin rin ng katawan ko ang magtrabaho...  hindi rin naman ako pwedeng mabakante ng matagal if i plan to go back to work kase im on IT jobs, mahirap pag matagal na nabakante since mas hanap ng employer yun updated lagi sa technology esp. yung skills mo.. hay ang hirap magdesisyon..

[aquacharly]

IMO,  a woman can have it ALL.
        She just has to plan for it, work on it everyday, and PRAY.
        AND mind her time management.
       
A career is important because having one's own economic power/means/assets is the best insurance one can get for one's self.  Self-empowerment is the key to maximizing one's potential.

Of course,  family is important. But if a wife/mother does not "grow" -- her family will leave her behind.  The importance of her contribution to the family declines; and she eventually finds herself diminished.  Sad story, avoid it.

Plus,  a wife who contributes to family finances helps her husband in the sense that he has a partner in advancing family interests.  That is 1 good way to love a person:  to share the burden or challenge with him.   

Now, there are many ways to skin a cat it is said.  So, the route to         self-empowerment may lie in employment, business or even just helping out in a husband's career or business. 

I have chosen to do it the business route, as a working partner  of my husband in the businesses we own.
Am I happy?
Reasonably, or most of the time.  But I am confident that in my old age/when I have 1 foot in the Departure Area of Life -- I will not regret that I neglected or did not take care to the best of my abilities my  children, husband and/or  myself. 

It is not a choice of either be a SAHM or a career or business woman. Worst case, it is a matter of timing.. 1 now, the other later, or whatever.
Plan for it, work on it... and you can have it all.
It won't be perfect, but you will have less regrets, you will have more options whatever life  slaps you with.  And the best:  you will value yourself more.

Life is meant to be a joyful journey, more often than not.
So why limit your enjoyment by thinking you have only 2 choices:  SAHM or career? 
It is all out there for you to get for yourself... kapalan lang yan ng mukha, tibayan lang yan ng sikmura,  consistency lang yan each f*cking day --  even on those days you cannot even pick yourself up or when your heart is broken...   
(teka hindi ko sinabing kapalan or tiyagaan lang yan nang pag nakaw ng asawa ng iba ha.  hehe   form of pangugurakot na yan)

So there, I am sick and tired of hearing women say:  a SAHM mom is better than a career woman and vice-versa.   So I will stop here before I go on and mabato bato ako.  Peace!  ah basta, lahat may solution, lahat may paraan, basta gusto di ba?

Nothing risked, nothing worked on, nothing gained. 

[mommytaf]

Very well said aquacharly.   I hope and pray that I CAN have it ALL.   

[maribeth]

I have never asked this question to myself when we decided to have children. I have always wanted to have a career and so I continued working. Up to now, my children are now 6 and 2 years old. I am still working. Like what sister aquacharly said..I am at the point where I am doing my best to have it all!!!

[iceylicious]

ako din naguguluhan kung mag work or hindi muna.. im a single parent, 6 mos palang ang baby ko ngayon..  sabi ng mom ko wag daw muna ako magwork, palakihin ko daw muna. naisip ko naman na kelangan ko ng mag work para rin sa future ng anak ko, dahil wala naman akong maasahan sa iba. kahit nanjan ang  parents ko, ayoko naman na forever nalang na umasa sa kanila..

at sabi naman ng iba kong friend mag work na daw ako habang maliit pa baby ko, dahil sa hirap ng buhay ngayon,. yung isang friend ko naman sabi alagaan ko muna .

hay.. kaya hanggang ngayon di pa rin ako makapag decide kung magwork or hindi..

[sexyvamp]

nung kinasal ako 2 years ago nag stop na ko mag work, after marriage kasi nabuntis na agad ako so di na ko pinabalik ni husband sa work. ok naman sakin nung una maging stay at home lalo na nung nagkababy nako, hands on din naman ako kay baby at wala talaga ako makuhang yaya, di ko din matiis paalagaan baby ko sa iba e. now she's 1 1/2 and 4 months preggy na ulit ako.

my husband is working abroad, he just sent me our monthly budget, no extras! most of the time kulang naman yung budget para samin, he said he cant add more sa budget coz he's still paying dun sa loan nya na ginamit sa pagpapagawa ng house namin. so he gave me the budget bahala na ko kung kulang o kasya, ang hirap kaya nun lalao na may anak kami na nag gagatas and diaper, magastos. akala nya yung pinapadala nya sakin sobrang laki na sobra sobra pa. minsan sinasabihan pa nya ko na magastos daw kasi ako, bili ako ng bili, it hurts! pag sinasabihan nya ko ng ganun, halos yung kailangan lang naman namin ang binibili ko e

im thingking of a homebase business sana pero still searching pa din ako 'till now.

tagal na ko pinapabalik dun sa dati kong work kahit once a week lang, di ako makabalik dati coz wala ako yaya na mapag iiwanan sa baby ko, recently they informed me ulit if gusto ko ulit mag duty, now im thinking na balik nalang muna kaya ako sa work, tutal once a week lang naman, sayang din yung sweldo, atleast meron ako sarili money na wala mag ku-question sakin kung ano binili ko.lalo na yung mga personal na gamit ko, feeling ko kasi yung tinutukoy ni husband na bili ako ng bili is yung mga binibili kong organin shampoo, conditioner, soap which is necessities ko naman no.

di ko pa nasasabi kay hubby plan ko na bumalik sa work and im still convincing myself na iwan ko muna si baby sa nanay ko once a week para makapag work ako, buti nalang payag mother ko, she told me na sayang naman daw pinag aralan ko kung di ko na magagamit, parang nanghihinayang din mom ko na stay at home lang ako and iwan ko na professional career ko, ( well being a mother and a wife is also a career). medyo napabayaan ko na kasi sarili ko di na ko masyado nakakapag ayos start nung mag stay at home ako.

[swtgrl_bee]

i'm a SAHM 5 months na tomorrow. pero ang hirap din kasi super liit lang ng salary ni hubby right now, savings ko ang gamit ko to buy things that I need. as in need yan, kasi NEEDS and wants ng anak ko ang priority ko. so no wants for mommy, sabi ko after new year's eve work na ulit ako, i'm in BPO industry kasi just to make sure I could celebrate the first new year's eve with my baby. saka gusto ko din banatayan siya kahit 'til 10th month niya

[funky f]

For the longest time, I want to resign from my job in a multi-national company.  But I couldn't.  It's hard to risk financial stability if you have 2 young kids, even if my husband has a stable job.  I have a small shoes biz (on line) but it's still not enough to make me take the plunge and resign.  But I am so demotivated right now at work.  How about you, mommies, anyone who can relate to how I am feeling?  Any advice on how to keep yourself motivated?

[clueless]

I dont think i can be a stay at home mom. Aside from the fact that we think it's better to be a double-income family, maloloka sifueo ako kung sa bahay lang buong araw. Maybe id i have extra-curricular activities like sports or clubs etc, pwede pa.

Also got demotivated at work. Been so for about a year na. Been wanting to resign but my boss always held me back and nagpadala naman ako. He's an expat and leaving at the end of this year. He wanted me to take over his position but higher management didnt agree. No reason na for me to stay. But i wont resign until may kapalit na work. I have to have work. I have a good prospect now. What motivates me na lang to return to work is the fact that i might not be there for long, malapit na akong umalis.

May plan din husband ko to put up a business. Dapat last june, he was going to resign and start it up but i was pregnant so we decided that it wasnt a good time for him not to have a fixed income. baka next year na lang. Maybe later on, i will quit working and help him out na lang.

[showermist]

like clueless, i have to have a career or something to gey myself busy.  in two to three years time, i will be a stay-at-home mom    

stay-at-home pero huwag ka, i am drawing a business plan na that will work out in two or three years.

i've no matinong advise sis kasi baliktad tayo. i get demotivated when i am not busy.  kasi feeling ko wala akong silbi.

try to work out a plan na lang that will work for you if you choose to be a stay at home mom or to continue working sa present job mo.

 challenge yourself perhaps?!