So tired of the pain...

[ettevyvi]

Bro, this doesn't apply to all DAW. Share ko lang, may counselor na nagsabi sa akin, mas mahirap situation ng EX ko kasi he's dealing with guilt, and mas mahirap and matagal ang pagoovercome sa guilt as an opppressor than dealing with pain as a victim. Kaya ko shinare sa iyo kasi we have a similar situation. HTH!

Sana yung ex ko eh alam yang guilt na yan. Mukha kasing kahit nahuli ko na di pa din guilty eh.
Magandang driving force ang ikaw nga ang nagawan ng mali kaysa ikaw yung gumawa ng mali. I had an experience with an ex na ganun e, it took him so long bago maka move on because of the guilt.

Iba-iba talaga ang coping strategies ng bawat tao sa pagmove-on.

Yes, I may be single right now but it's far better than being too stressed out because of emotional crap every now and then.

Let me just say that I really like your logical way of dealing with problems of the heart. I feel that a lot of our "sisters" here strongly consider the inputs you've entered in this thread. 

Yes! That's what we should learn from all of the break ups and the pain our loved ones had caused us.
I'm glad to help. I want to be the rational side of our hearts. Haha meron ba nun?:p

When I feel that heavy feeling creeping up my heart I tell myself " Will this help me? Will this get her back? ". Then most of the time my feelings stabilize and I can focus again.

In fairness, talking to yourself really really works. Mukha ka lang baliw sa iba pero when you realize no one is there to help you but yourself, ang laking bagay nun para ipush mo ang sarili mo in whatever state you are in. We can only rely on ourselves.

[tipC_shoegal]

^Oh wow, a rational side! Why not? I think I'd love to have one eventually. 

As for "soliloquy" during the darkest moments of our lives, I so agree that it does help a lot! Whenever I was frustrated with my bf (the ex now) and I didn't want us to really argue non-stop (even on SMS), I just shut up and stop replying to him and then lock myself inside my room and then cry and talk as if I were talking to him. For me to calm down, I also do that although it does look like "so baliw" and more but it's way effective for me so what am I supposed to do, drop it just 'cause I look stupid? Nah. I never stop doing this. It's very therapeutic. Yun nga lang, 'pag gagawin n'yo ito, make sure you have your own space and no one would hear you. Never shout. Just pretend that you're normally talking to the person you're mad at or you really want to affirm something within you so talking to yourself is kinda good.

[Foodict]

^ettevyvi ^ tipC_shoegal

Would you believe during the 1st few weeks I was recording all my "monologues" then listening to them afterwards? I used the recording app on my phone. I had these moments of clarity where I could separate my feelings and let my rational side tell me what I should do.

[tipC_shoegal]

^That's nice to know and in fact, another way of helping yourself out.

[ettevyvi]

^ettevyvi ^ tipC_shoegal

Would you believe during the 1st few weeks I was recording all my "monologues" then listening to them afterwards? I used the recording app on my phone. I had these moments of clarity where I could separate my feelings and let my rational side tell me what I should do.

Ok lang yan! Basta makakatulong sa 'yo.

[ettevyvi]

Share ko lang ha. I may look like a tough girl from what I've posted but there is still some pain. The pain is still here but slowly I'm moving on.

I viewed the facebook page nung pinagtwo time ni ex sa akin. I haven't done that in 2 months! Alam ko kasing hindi pa ako ready.  Turned out, sila pa din pala. (may nagsabi kasi sa akin na hindi na daw sila 1 week post break up namin. The ex broke up with the girl to be 'fair')  Yung cover picture nun babae ay yung magka holding hands sila nun ex ko. Initial thought: "Oh, sila pa din pala. Kaya pala mukhang masayang masaya yung ex ko na 'yun." I wanted to cry pero.. wala hindi na talaga ako makaiyak e. Iniisip ko na parang, bakit ba ako manghihinayang sa isang manloloko? Why should I be saddened by the fact na ipinagpalit ako sa isang babaeng malandi na hindi man lang nakakarespeto ng relasyon ng may karelasyon? I guess one of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship is honesty. Clearly, the guy has been dishonest to her and to me. What's the point in that?

Again, monologue din sa sarili. I love deeply. I give my all when it comes to love. I don't look that bad. I've come a long way na mag move on tapos masisira lang ng nalaman ko. I told myself, no. A guy deserves me more than him. That's what drives me now. Alam ko naman sa sarili ko na I deserve better. It's just that the pain is something I have to get used to for now. But eventually, I know I'm starting to move on.

[Foodict]

^^ettevyvi

" Why should I be saddened by the fact na ipinagpalit ako sa isang babaeng malandi na hindi man lang nakakarespeto ng relasyon ng may karelasyon? "

I had a similar sentiment, but since I'm the guy it makes me more concerned about my girl. 

Here's another question : I have a hunch they've been intimate shortly after we broke up.  If that's true then isn't that another hallmark of a player?
Yun guy na yun lang naman ang nangungulit sa  kanya nung kami pa.

I live a very simple life. No  regular barkada, just my workmates. She has the same lifestyle too. This limits the interaction she has with other people. I dont think she knows how to resist being seduced or manipulated, but then again its her choice din na magpatangay. Maybe she's curious or bored.

She may have broken up with me for good reasons, but I definitely think she's started this new relationship for very shallow ones.

[ettevyvi]

^Yes. He is a player. Pero she's not a toddler to be reminded of what is and what is not. Your ex is just simply ignoring everything. She's one lucky girl to have you but too bad she doesn't see that way.

[Foodict]

^ettevyvi

Ugh. yeah. She's ignoring all the danger signs and she thinks that if the guy gets his annulment papers signed then thats proof he is sincere.

I laugh a bit when I think that the guy is now totally free and this makes him more "attractive" to single women.

I think I spoiled my girl too much. She thinks highly of herself and I think it has never entered her mind that the other guy might look for greener pastures once he's totally free.