How important is proposing, engagement ring, etc, to you?

[j.adore]

^remember that men are different from women. Marriage is a big big deal for them so kung napagusapan yung kasal at hindi nega ang reaction niya, definitely ibig sabihin gusto ka niyang pakasalan.

Honesty goes a long way and men take words as is. Hindi tumatalab sa kanila ang hints o kaya yung mga hopes and dreams ng mga babae (na kiligin sa proposal).

[spiltmillc]

My fiance was asking me to marry him way back when we were just friends so when we became a couple It really was no longer a surprise when he told me he wanted to get married. He proposed to my folks which i thought was really sweet.

During our talks about marriage (before the proposal) we both decided not to buy a ring-- Mainly because I dont need it.

This is how I see it:
After marriage the couple becomes 1. That said, if he bought a ring it would come from the same pot of money that both of us will be sharing. So instead I decided against it and instead invest in something that both of us can share.

We are building our dream house instead. Now that's something i can be proud of more than a tiny ring. but he told me that he will still buy me a ring... maybe when we renew our vows, i dont know, hes just nice like that!

[hyjac28]

sis j.adore, you're right, the problem is, when he gets frustrated sa career, tinitira nya yung wedding namin na kesyo nape-pressure sya at ako naman daw may gusto nun 

[princeza08]

just sharing:

in my case naman mga sis, kung napanood nyo yun movie na 50 first dates, starring adam sandler and drew barrymore (hahaha! lately ko lang na realize)..almost ganon ang proposal ng hubby ko sakin. he is an ofw, and pag uwi nya ng pinas nag plan kami ng vacation. first night namin sa hotel during our vacation in boracay, that was march 10, 2012. while we were both lying in the bed, he just tell me his plans and asked me to marry him (without a ring yet) actually  at first naghahanap ako ng ring kaso wala naman, medyo na sad lang pero still pumayag pa din ako. hehe. the most important naman is his sincerity. and i know deep in my heart that we love each other so much. then nag buy din kami ng couple ring, para suot namin parehas instead of engagement ring. may konting savings naman kami pareho so after few months we had our wedding day! that was one of the happiest and remarkable days of our lives. :-)

[nami_sun08]

  haist pangarap ko po talaga na my Engagement/ Proposal OMG 6 years na kami ayaw ko naman nh basta na lang huhu..

[tinsantos10]

I really don't mind if he doesn't want to propose or anything as long as magpapaalam siya ng maayos sa parents ko about marrying me. IMO dagdag gastos lang ang engagement ring lol

[c_a_k_e]

foxy_lei

If I may... I think though you're partly right, we can't really control how we feel about certain situations.  Though it is fair to say that material things should not be the basis of a person's love, depende rin yan sa capacity ng tao.  In my case, I felt the same things chesk felt when my then fiance proposed to me.  This is just my opinion. 

chesk

When I read your post, I had to read it twice, and checked if I already made a post like this haha My fiance proposed to me with no grand gesture unlike his brother who proposed in a yacht and the sister who got a proposal in a show in macau.  Mine was as simple as it can get.

I respect all your comments, pero to each her own.  My fiance wanted to have a pampering day since we were both busy at that time with work.  He wanted a hair cut and massage for both of us in a hotel, and for us to have dinner after.  Since we were so busy, we ended up having late dinner in the fine dining restaurant of that same hotel.  Food was great, and I got a feeling after dinner that he was going to propose na.  Honestly, I may sound materialistic... and I guess I am, but I was disappointed with the ring, so just like cheska, I texted my fiance about it (pero I thought about it over night because I did not want to hurt his feelings).  My previous relationship was just as serious and he gave me a 1.5ct ring, so i was hoping for a similar size sana.  He gave me 1.2ct.  Aside from this, I know naman that given what we do, he can give me more.  I also have this notion that the ring my fiance would give me would signify his love for me.  One of his friend's wife got a 3ct pa nga na round brilliant, vvs.  To each her own talaga.

Wag mo nalang masyadong isipin kasi depende rin yan sa capacity ng guy.  Siguro kakapanood din natin ng mga romantic love stories, nagkakaroon tayo ng mga expectations :-)

Congrats nonetheless!

Nicoletta i'm just curious did you get another ring? What happened after?

[tsarigallano]

Share ko lang.

Boyfie and I start to have a savings for our wedding next year. Pero wala pang proposal na nangyayari. And totoo yung sinasabi ng ibang sissies natin, hindi ako makapagbroadcast about our plans kasi wala pa namang evidence, which is yung porposal and e-ring. Sometimes nagpaparinig ako na "hindi pa tayo officially engaged ha" hehe 

Hopefully, before kami magsabi sa parents namin, sana meron munang proposal. For me, importante yung ma-engaged ka muna. At least dumaan ka sa stage na yun.

[princeza08]

IMO lang mga sis ha, sa mga "nag eexpect" or "naghihintay" ng "proposal/engagement ring" for "formality" and para ma announce nyo in the whole world na you are both engaged... the FACT na pumayag kayo na mag save na for your wedding is almost same the idea na pumapayag na kayo magpakasal sa guy. so why expect more? sana nagpakipot muna kayo di ba, kung nandon na sa point na nagpapahaging na si bf ng kasal. in my case kasi, i don't take it seriously, i mean tinatawanan ko lang kung may topic na wedding or pahapyaw lang. iba pa din talaga yun sa kanya mismo nanggaling na he wants to marry you formal man or hindi as long as alam mo na nandoon ang sincerity nya for you. kasi each individual iba iba tayo ng characters eh, kilala nyo naman siguro yung partners nyo. and re: the size of the ring/ how many carat, for me its so mababaw naman na i compare yun sa previous relationship dun sa present. kasi magkaiba sila. wag na lang masyado mag expect siguro from your partner kung ano kaya nya gawin for you. as long as he is always there to love & support you. that's what matters. nobody is perfect. ang mas important is yung wedding nyo, yun ang mas "pagkagastusan", bawi na lang sa wedding ring if may capacity naman si h2b. kayo naman ang mamimili ng gusto nyo  wedding ring right? tandaan, ang tunay na pag-ibig ay walang katumbas na anumang kayamanan kahit mga mamahaling dyamante at brilyante dito sa mundo. matuto tayon "makuntento" kung [textspeak!] man yun mga meron tayo ngayon and we should be thankful for that.

and sa case namin kasi ng hubby ko, hindi namin totally binroadcast na we are officially engaged, napagsabihan lang muna namin yung immediate family, some relatives, yun mga ninong ninang at kasama sa entourage & close friends. actually secret talaga muna sya. mas prefer namin kasi to surprise everyone. parang kasal nila juday at ryan agoncillo. hindi pa showbiz. pero yun samin 1 week before the wedding dun lang nasabi sa mga officemates and ibang kakilala. gulat na lang everyone sa fb na kinasal na pala kami esp yun ibang friends namin. anyway, very intimate naman yun wedding namin. di kailangan magpasikat o magyabang. as long as nagmamahalan kami. yun ang importante. mas malakas ang impact di ba kapag ganon. kesa sa 1 year or more post ng post about your engagement. nakakasawa eh, wala na gano impact. hehe.. for us kasi mas prefer namin quiet na lang muna and then BOOM!  :-)

[j.adore]

Well said sis princeza08!
I didn't have a bonggang proposal nor do I have a bongga ring but what I have is my Fiance's bongga love for me. That pretty much tops everything

Though let me give perspective on why some women expect:

- Lifestyle
I have wealthy friends who are used to lavish/upscale lifestyle. Pag ang proposal/ring ay so-so lang, hindi special sa kanila yun kasi nga sanay sila sa bongga. Eh di ba sa mga babae importante na maging special.

- Family expectations
Parents will always want the best for their children and it is never EVER easy to "let go" of a daughter. Para saan pa yung mga pinaggagawa nila all these decades kung mapupunta lang yung anak nila sa lalaking hindi kaya buhayin ang anak nila according to their standards.

Engagement rings signify a man's capability to be the head of the family. Men are not into jewelry and they would rather invest in something "worthwhile" rather than a bling. But if they get one even if they don't understand, it shows they are willing to sacrifice and compromise for love.

- Girls growing up
This society teaches that "diamonds are a girl's best friend", love should be like the movies, fairy tales happen given the right man, you're special and you're worth it, you should be treated like a princess/queen, etc. etc.

While it's okay to strive for the best in life, just because the guy was only able to give you this, doesn't always mean he did not do his best. Remember, each person is different. Maawa naman kayo sa mga lalaki at wag silang awayin o magtampo porke hindi nasunod ang gusto. They will be your partner for the rest of your life, not your slave.

It's human nature to compare at mainggit at maging "bida". People will always want what they think is the the best for themselves whether it be xxx carat diamond or grand proposal or both. They do not want to be jealous of others. They want to be the one na kinaiinggitan ng iba.



It's sad and unfair sa mga lalaki for them to be judged by the ring/proposal. It's even more depressing when couples argue (or magkatampuhan o kahit ano pa mang negativity) because of this. Kung dito pa lang ganyan na, paano pa sa buhay-mag-asawa na?

We are all different from each other but I'm a hopeless romantic so for me, love is the most important thing.

[princeza08]

thanks sis j.adore your post is a calling to our girl talkers here for them to realize the true value of engagement/proposal :-) 

While it's okay to strive for the best in life, just because the guy was only able to give you this, doesn't always mean he did not do his best. Remember, each person is different. Maawa naman kayo sa mga lalaki at wag silang awayin o magtampo porke hindi nasunod ang gusto. They will be your partner for the rest of your life, not your slave.

It's human nature to compare at mainggit at maging "bida". People will always want what they think is the the best for themselves whether it be xxx carat diamond or grand proposal or both. They do not want to be jealous of others. They want to be the one na kinaiinggitan ng iba.

It's sad and unfair sa mga lalaki for them to be judged by the ring/proposal. It's even more depressing when couples argue (or magkatampuhan o kahit ano pa mang negativity) because of this. Kung dito pa lang ganyan na, paano pa sa buhay-mag-asawa na?

We are all different from each other but I'm a hopeless romantic so for me, love is the most important thing.

[chocnats]

In my case, the reason why I wanted an engagement ring is because I feel that the effort to save up your hard-earned money to buy your girlfriend an engagement ring is really sweet. This alone takes up a lot of sacrifice kasi alam naman natin na di naman mura ang e-ring eh. So the fact na willing siyang magtipid para mabigay yung kaligayahan mo is another way to show na mahal na mahal ka niya.

When h2b gave me a simple silver engagement ring when he first proposed, syempre natuwa ako at kinilig kasi officially engaged na kami eh. Pero after a while, medyo nalungkot ako kasi naiisip ko na [textspeak!] ba yan, parang di man lang pinaghandaan ang proposal. Parang napadaan lang siya sa mall, nakita ang stall ng Silverworks at naisipang bumili ng engagement ring.

I was not asking for a super expensive e-ring naman; kahit yung mga below 20,000 pesos, okay na sa akin yun basta alam kong talagang pinagipunan niya. Alam ko naman kaya niya yun eh. Nakakaipon nga siya para makabili ng bagong cellphone kaya malamang makakaipon siya para makabili ng e-ring diba? Parang this is his time para magpakitang gilas na!

And he did save enough money to buy me an e-ring. It's not as expensive as those of the others, pero isa siya sa pinakaimportanteng bagay para sa akin kasi alam kong pinaghirapan nya yun. Sabi pa nga ni h2b, proud pa siya pag pinapangalandakan ko daw e-ring ko eh. Kasi dati nung suot ko pa ang silver ring ko, nasasaktan daw siya pag tinatanong ng ibang tao magkano e-ring ko tapos sasabihin ko na 600 pesos  siya. parang natatapakan daw pride niya kasi sobrang mura lang ang bili niya. So ayun, nageffort talaga sya para mabili ako ng totoong singsing.

[mooncake and leaves]

to be perfectly honest, i care more about the ring than the proposal. i have a dream ring and i'd buy it myself if i could but when i play it in my head, it's just sad.

also, i probably posted this already but i'm very spoiled by the example my father has set. even with his meager income at the time, when he proposed to my mother, he stopped at nothing to give her a respectable ring. true enough, throughout their marriage, he stopped at nothing to make her happy. so for me, the ring is indicative of many things: how much preparation went into the proposal (a proposal w/o a ring is, for me lang ha, the (un)romantic equivalent of showing up at a job interview wearing jeans), where the guy is financially, how well a man knows you and most important-- if you can expect to be shortchanged in your marriage or not. kung kaya naman magbigay ng x amount but refused to, you won't be able to help but wonder what other areas he'll go, o, puwede na yan sa yo. hetong bubblegum. gawin mong ulam.

having said that, my dream engagement ring is relatively inexpensive. hindi kelangang pag-ipunan masyado. so medyo walang silbi yung post ko sa sarili ko mismo

[C+C]

@mooncake and leaves
dami kong smile, sis.. ang kulit ng point mo.. shoot na shoot.. ^_^

[kikaygimikera]

It is important for me pero it does not have to be grand naman. Nung bata ako Ive always dreamt of having the grandest proposal and wedding and ring. When my husband proposed to me, sobrang heaven ang feeling.  Ang simple. It was just him and me talking. Walang fireworks, walang violins and all that pero I can't even answer him. Ganon pala. Parang may fireworks, maraming taong nakasubaybay ang feeling. I cried!

[ennaer]

Ay! Akala ko ako lang ang may ganitong problema. Bf and i started to talk about wedding preps (actually date lang next year ang napagusapan then ako na daw bahala) he just gave me the amount (budget) i told him na saka ko na lang aasikasuhin pag nagpropose ka na. Am i being selfish? Kasi naisip ko ni wala man lang ring!

[Yaya]

not at all important. in fact, ayoko talaga. sayang ang pera.ilaan na lang para sa pag simula ng buhay namin bilang mag asawa. hindi ko makita ang sense. pero kung bibigyan ako, sino ba naman ako para mag reklamo?

[heaven_charm]

Napaguusapan nadin namin ni bf ang wedding plans pero wala pa ring. But knowing him, he is most likely to give me one. Ewan q lang pano nya ibibigay kasi di naman siya yun guy na madameng drama pag nagbibigay ng something. Hehe. Baka next year pagbalik nya pinas. Seaman kasi

He is asking me to plan a trip for us when he returns, sagot nya expenses. He wants a nice hotel daw to stay baka somewhere in Palawan. May surprise daw siya sakin. Sana may engagement ring 

[caterpillar-girl]

I don't consider myself a hopeless romantic, and I was never one of those girls who dreamt about weddings or proposals, but I really appreciated it when my equally non hopeless romantic fiance proposed to me, on a beach, during sunset, with a ring. It was cheesy as can be, but I really appreciated it. Haha. And he didn't give me a diamond ring. He gave me a sapphire ring, ala Princess Kate, which made the whole thing even more cheesy, because really, Princess Kate and royal fairy tales? How cliche can one get? Haha. But I loved it.

Anyhow, it was important mostly because I know guys aren't usually the wedding/proposal types. And for someone to go through all THAT process of finding the perfect ring and making the perfect proposal, kind of melted my heart. And I don't have a melty heart, if you know what I mean. 

It's so easy and convenient for guys to just say, I'm a guy, wala akong alam sa mga ganyang bagay. Or, it's easy to say, but mas importante naman na mahal kita. All of that may be true, but in the end, you would know in your heart of hearts what your partners are capable of and that's why it's hard not to feel resentment when things fall short of expectations.

[muriel1]

naalala ko yung isa kong officemate na hindi ko naman masyado kaclose (pero baka feeling niya close kami) nung tinignan niya yung e ring ko, sabi ba naman "ano ba yan, sabihin mo sa fiance mo ang cheap niya, ang liit ng bato!" paulit ulit siya eh we were at a public place. muntik ko siya sapakin, buti na lang nakapagpigil ako at naalala ko na miserable nga pala ang married life niya. she married a man na pinili ng nanay niya for her then after 10 years of being civilly married, nag decide siya na mag church wedding sila ng husband niya not for anyhing else but because natatakot siya na hindi tanggapin sa langit. i mean, i would not deny na my e ring could have had a bigger stone. lol. pero the mere fact that bigay yun ng taong mahal ko at alam ko ang effort he put thru (gawa ng walang alam sa alahas yun) para maibigay niya sa akin yun, walang pwedeng magdiscount nun...ako lang! hehe! saka i think napakabastos nun kahit pa kaclose mo yung tao. well, thas just me. baka sensitive lang ako masyado.