How important is proposing, engagement ring, etc, to you?

[chesk]

^ganito kasi yun sis.. sa second anniversary pa namin dapat talaga sya mag pprose, sa boracay dapat. nalaman ko yung plano nya na yun kasi nag-away kami kasi kasama pa namin mga friends nya sa bora sa anniv namin, so dahil nga nagalit ako kaya napilitan syang sabihin sakin na balak nya mag propose at gawin kakuntsaba yung mga friends nya kaya nya isasama. so nung nalaman ko yun, sinabi ko sa kanya na ok lang naman kahit walang ganun basta gusto ko may ring. pero sabi nya sakin, knowing him daw (romantic and sweet) nga, eh magpaplano pa din daw sya. tapos eto na nga nag propose na sya nung bday ko pero dissapointed talaga ko, kasi hindi na nga pinag handaan tapos liit pa ng ring

[chesk]

^ kaya nga ako dissapointed sis, kasi sya yung tipo na hindi mahiyain, sweet at proud bf yun. mas mahilig sya mag post ng mga sweet things sa fb kaysa sakin. kaya ganun na lang dissapointment ko

[aliceC]

^ganito kasi yun sis.. sa second anniversary pa namin dapat talaga sya mag pprose, sa boracay dapat. nalaman ko yung plano nya na yun kasi nag-away kami kasi kasama pa namin mga friends nya sa bora sa anniv namin, so dahil nga nagalit ako kaya napilitan syang sabihin sakin na balak nya mag propose at gawin kakuntsaba yung mga friends nya kaya nya isasama. so nung nalaman ko yun, sinabi ko sa kanya na ok lang naman kahit walang ganun basta gusto ko may ring. pero sabi nya sakin, knowing him daw (romantic and sweet) nga, eh magpaplano pa din daw sya. tapos eto na nga nag propose na sya nung bday ko pero dissapointed talaga ko, kasi hindi na nga pinag handaan tapos liit pa ng ring

nabigla sya sis sa nangyari, kaya di nakapag handa.. parang expected mo na sya na mag propose yun lang e, pati ang ring di nagawan ng paraan ,hindi nya na plano maigi. maybe my suggestion, kausapin mo sya, tutal wala pa naman formal date yun wedding nyo, since sweet and romantic sya baka may next move pa, hoping pa kasi ako sa next move na magaganap kaya ayaw ko in my part na hindi kayo matuloy sis.  hope hindi ito mag end to nothing sis. :-)

[shegie_285]

chesk hi sis..I think I understand how you feel, my worry before was to be disappointed with the ring. My boyfriend (now fiance) always told me that it's not the ring that matters, what matters is the love and the commitment to be together blah blah blah. i would just reply, yes i know. but at the back of my head, i was screaming.. the ring matters!

anyway, you said your boyfriend had a plan but just didn't materialise. since siguro alam nya na alam mo na, hindi na nya napaghandaan.

I would say tell him what you feel, you're right, paano ka naman? You know him so you know how to say it in a way na hindi sya masyadong masasaktan. Pero before you talk to him, maybe wait for few months.  Like what others said kase baka may ibang plan.  If there's no next move, you will look for wedding rings naman, so you can say you want a nice wedding ring and you might change the e-ring to fit the wedding ring, if budget permits!

[chesk]

thank you mga sis sa reply and suggestions nyo.

hindi ko na talaga natiis kaya sinabi ko na sa kanya kanina through text, ayaw ko kasi mag iyakan kami kaya ganun na lang ginawa ko. i dont know kung pag uusapan parin namin yun pag nagkita kami bukas. i told him the truth na dissapointed ako at hindi ko nagustuhan yung ering. parang nabunutan ako ng tinik nung nasabi ko na feelings ko, which is good for me. i didn't demand anything, i just told him what i feel so it's up to him na kung bibilhan nya ko ng bagong ering at magpropose ulit sya. sana lang hindi sya masyado nasaktan at hindi nya isipin na materialistic ako.

[aliceC]

thank you mga sis sa reply and suggestions nyo.

hindi ko na talaga natiis kaya sinabi ko na sa kanya kanina through text, ayaw ko kasi mag iyakan kami kaya ganun na lang ginawa ko. i dont know kung pag uusapan parin namin yun pag nagkita kami bukas. i told him the truth na dissapointed ako at hindi ko nagustuhan yung ering. parang nabunutan ako ng tinik nung nasabi ko na feelings ko, which is good for me. i didn't demand anything, i just told him what i feel so it's up to him na kung bibilhan nya ko ng bagong ering at magpropose ulit sya. sana lang hindi sya masyado nasaktan at hindi nya isipin na materialistic ako.

siguro hindi naman ganun ang iisipin nya, im happy for you at nasabi mo even on [textspeak!] (cellphone) lang sis,.  well on the other part, just pray as the lord na bigyan kayo ng blessing at magwork yan soon to be wed celebration nyo. :-) wait ko nalang ano susunod na kabanata. hehe :-)

[mooncake and leaves]

xenos54: I don't know about other girls but for me, getting cubic zirconia is akin to getting fake flowers. I'd take it as an insult and a sign that the guy is begging me to dump him. If your girlfriend doesn't really like jewelry (sabi nya lang yun lol) and you're bent on giving her a silver band, that will do. No need for the CZ.

[marchesa2012]

planning to buy na lang silver ring with cubic zirconia kesa white gold with white diamond.. kasi di mahilig si jowa sa mamahaling alahas.. kaso ayaw ko naman apihin siya ng mga friends niya or what.. help me po mga girls.. just a little background..
my gf and i are already 6 years in our relationship..
she knows im planning to propose.. kasi may nabasa siya sa phone ko na conversation ko with my friend eh..
its more of a question of when.. hehe..
thanks in advance po!

xenos54: a person with a good heart and who loves you will treasure anything that you give her, as long as you give it with the best intentions. a solid relationship isn't grounded on material things. take it from me, ive been with my husband for 12 years &we're as happy as our first year together.

[foxy_lei]

^ganito kasi yun sis.. sa second anniversary pa namin dapat talaga sya mag pprose, sa boracay dapat. nalaman ko yung plano nya na yun kasi nag-away kami kasi kasama pa namin mga friends nya sa bora sa anniv namin, so dahil nga nagalit ako kaya napilitan syang sabihin sakin na balak nya mag propose at gawin kakuntsaba yung mga friends nya kaya nya isasama. so nung nalaman ko yun, sinabi ko sa kanya na ok lang naman kahit walang ganun basta gusto ko may ring. pero sabi nya sakin, knowing him daw (romantic and sweet) nga, eh magpaplano pa din daw sya. tapos eto na nga nag propose na sya nung bday ko pero dissapointed talaga ko, kasi hindi na nga pinag handaan tapos liit pa ng ring

^ mga sis, we must always think na it is not about the ring, it is the idea na gusto ka niya pakasalan at sinabi niya yun is already a big thing. lalo na sa lalaki, hindi sila basta basta magbibitaw ng salita regarding kasal kung hindi talaga yun nasa isip nila. it is different with us girls, sa atin, it is a dream, at times sa lalaki, it is the thought na end na ng pagkabinata nila (pagkanegative).

i think it is not nice na maging masama loob ng dahil di mo nagustuhan yung ring. we must learn to appreciate it. marami nagpapakasal walang proposal at engagement ring. you are one of the lucky brides to have one.

it is better to be thankful. put yourself in his shoes. or just think paano kung may binigyan ka ng gift then ganyan reaction niya diba.. big leap na yun for guys.. be happy...

[nicoletta]

foxy_lei

If I may... I think though you're partly right, we can't really control how we feel about certain situations.  Though it is fair to say that material things should not be the basis of a person's love, depende rin yan sa capacity ng tao.  In my case, I felt the same things chesk felt when my then fiance proposed to me.  This is just my opinion. 

chesk

When I read your post, I had to read it twice, and checked if I already made a post like this haha My fiance proposed to me with no grand gesture unlike his brother who proposed in a yacht and the sister who got a proposal in a show in macau.  Mine was as simple as it can get.

I respect all your comments, pero to each her own.  My fiance wanted to have a pampering day since we were both busy at that time with work.  He wanted a hair cut and massage for both of us in a hotel, and for us to have dinner after.  Since we were so busy, we ended up having late dinner in the fine dining restaurant of that same hotel.  Food was great, and I got a feeling after dinner that he was going to propose na.  Honestly, I may sound materialistic... and I guess I am, but I was disappointed with the ring, so just like cheska, I texted my fiance about it (pero I thought about it over night because I did not want to hurt his feelings).  My previous relationship was just as serious and he gave me a 1.5ct ring, so i was hoping for a similar size sana.  He gave me 1.2ct.  Aside from this, I know naman that given what we do, he can give me more.  I also have this notion that the ring my fiance would give me would signify his love for me.  One of his friend's wife got a 3ct pa nga na round brilliant, vvs.  To each her own talaga.

Wag mo nalang masyadong isipin kasi depende rin yan sa capacity ng guy.  Siguro kakapanood din natin ng mga romantic love stories, nagkakaroon tayo ng mga expectations :-)

Congrats nonetheless!

[shegie_285]

Hi mga sis...

I asked my fiance about rings and he said he gave the ring as a symbol of his love!  As sis foxy_lei said, iba talaga pag nag-ask na ang mga lalake.

But I suppose we have our expectation. I have my expectation too based on my fiance's capacity. But then when I realised how much it would cost him to buy my dream e-ring, I became a bit practical and lowered my expectation significantly. Fiance did give the ring that I want, and when I told him its expensive he said I want you to be the happpiest girl and that's how much I love you blah blah blah.

My fiance and I went e-ring shopping. But he picked the ring by himself so I was still surprised.   I suppose it makes a big difference if our guys know what we want (basta afford nila).  As another b2b posted in another thread, some guys are clueless when it comes to jewelery (like my guy - so he has to be taught!). 

chesk Hope it went well with your fiance.

[chocnats]

Hi chesk! First of all, congrats on your engagement!

Regarding your story, I was very happy when my bf proposed, pero may tinge rin of disappointment. It was a very simple proposal; I think napost ko na nga sa thread na ito ang story nun eh. Basta we were driving home and he just asked if I will marry him and gave me the box with the ring. It was a simple silver band, with no stones at all.

Syempre, happy ako and may crying moments pa rin kami, but I was also sort of sad then during that proposal. Was I disappointed with my ring? Not really because I know na yun lang afford niya, although I was hoping na may bato sana siya (kahit silver lang siya), so that we can distinguish it from our wedding rings come picture time. Hehe. I was actually more disappointed by the way he proposed. He was driving kasi kaya he couldn't look at me. He couldn't even put the ring on my finger. Ako pa mismo nagsuot ng ring sa sarili ko. So yeah, that was not really how I pictured my proposal to be.

But then nawala ang engagement ring ko. And you know what, sobrang nalungkot ako. Even though it was a simple ring, may sentimental value pa rin yun eh. And whenever I look at it, I'm reminded of the kilig I felt when he proposed, even though medyo minadali ang proposal. I felt na kahit anong proposal na gawin na niya, hindi matatalo yung kilig na naramdaman ko during that time sa car ko kasi siyempre, first proposal ko yun. And yes, he's saving up to buy a "real" engagement ring na daw and he'll make a grand proposal na daw, but minsan I just want to buy a silver ring na lang ulit just so I can see a ring on my finger. Hehe.

Anyway, napahaba ang post ko, basta sis, don't dwell na lang on the proposal itself. Just think of the idea that this man wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Remember the kilig you felt that day.

[serendipity02]

In my case, akala ko hinde na magppropose si hubby at wala ng engagement ring.. kasi nasa abroad na sya tapos kami ng MIL ko ang nag-aasikaso ng wedding, pagdating nya, konti na lang yung inasikaso namin about sa wedding..

nagulat ako na saktong feast day ni padre pio sya nagpropose, (our favorite saint, sept 23); nov 26 ang wedding namin eh.. the ring was not extravagant pero kahit papano white gold naman sya at my diamond rin.. pero the fact na unexpected, for me, it was the most extravagant ring ever made.. the proposal was funny, nasa room lang kami nun, naglalaptop ng mga pwedeng gamitin sa prenup, he was uneasy tapos naririnig ko sya bumubulong, luluhod ba ako? pano ba toh? tapos sabi ko sa kanya, may prob ba, sabi nya, kasi may ibibigay ako sayo pero wag ka tatawa, tapos ayun may kodigo sya tapos binasa nya tapos nilabas yung ring, ako tawa ng tawa ng tawa, hinde na nga nya ko tinanong ng will you marry me kasi naman everything was set na for our wedding eh.. it was so funny and kilig talaga.. ♥♥♥

para kasi saken, sa buhay ngayon, praktikal na, kung afford mag engagement ring, GO! pero kung waley, check lang din, kasi love, and marriage cant be measured by the e-ring and how he proposed..

[tsutsat]

^wow sis, pareho tayo on how our then bf proposed! In my case, I was hoping for a romantic way of proposal with a ring ofcourse! Yung dream engagement ring ko naman basta gold at hindi fake!hehe

But I was still surprised at sobrang naiyak ako kahit nasa room lang kami when he proposed. No drama, he just slipped the ring to my finger. Not even with a the magic phrase "Will you marry me?"! But with that gesture, we just hugged and both cried. The fact that he proposed unexpectedly, sobrang overwhelmed na ko.

btw, he gave me a diamond studded 24k gold ring! 

[k_a_t_e]

hi sisses, i initially asked for more than .5 carat na ER. but on my research, mahirap rin ng may bonggang ER lalo na sa panahon ngayon at lalo na kung commuter ka. para rin hindi ako ma disappoint, i gave him idea of what i wanted, so when i and h2b went to the store, nakakita ako ng less than .5 carat na loose stone, sabi ko yun na mismo ang gusto ko and sabi ko ok na yun kasi nakakatakot naman kung super mahal nung bibilihin nya. i have read posts here in GT na nawawala yung ER, may namimisplace, i don't want to risk yung effort at money ni h2b, then in unfortunate cases eh mawala ko lang yung ring (of course i won't let this happen). so i decided na ok na yung simple pero alam kong pinaghirapan niya.

i asked kung paano niya nabili or paano niya pinaghandaan. sabi niya cash niya binili yung ER and hindi lay away or hindi credit card. and months before he proposed, hindi siya kumakain ng lunch/ sobrang tipid niya para makaipon lang (marami rin kasi kaming payables individually). and he said na hindi madaling magpropose sa babae kasi when man does, he means super sure na siya to marry you. and just last night, we were talking about our future. yung wedding, yung titirahan namin. ang dami palang gagastusin, hehe. so buti na lang na hindi lahat ng ipon niya eh napunta sa ER ko, kung hindi, may ER nga ako pero wala naman kaming pangkain at titirahan, mas panget yun.

so tama mga sisses natin dito na price and size do not matter. pwede mo naman bawiin sa ibang bagay. cheer up na sis.

[xenos54]

xenos54: I don't know about other girls but for me, getting cubic zirconia is akin to getting fake flowers. I'd take it as an insult and a sign that the guy is begging me to dump him. If your girlfriend doesn't really like jewelry (sabi nya lang yun lol) and you're bent on giving her a silver band, that will do. No need for the CZ.

yun nga din eh.. so parang di ko din like yung fake diamond..

xenos54: a person with a good heart and who loves you will treasure anything that you give her, as long as you give it with the best intentions. a solid relationship isn't grounded on material things. take it from me, ive been with my husband for 12 years &we're as happy as our first year together.

yes.. i know she will treasure it too..

pero girls.. since i really want the best for her and want her to be the happiest woman in the world..
i bought her a diamond ring in white gold band.. with a tinie-tiny stone.. hehe..
i just hope that she will like it.. i picture that the ring fits her perfectly.. i wish she'll feel the same way..

[shegie_285]

xenos54 good luck on your proposal. let us know..

[twix_5604]

just got engaged last week and i must say na though hindi yun yung dream proposal ko, natuwa na din ako kasi at last im formally engaged, haha!

days before the proposal kasi nagbibigay na sya ng hint na may bibigay daw siyang surprise for me. alam na! kaya nung day mismo ng nag-propose sya sa akin, he just gave me the box and asked him to marry him, as simple as that. no grand gestures or whatever na nakikita sa movies.

i think the important thing naman dito is not the ring or the way ur h2b proposes but the fact na ikaw na yung gusto nyang pakasalan and spend the rest of his life with 

[nicoletta]

Shegie_285

So happy for you! Your fiancé is really sensitive to your feelings. Don't worry, if you feel partly guilty about the ring, be A partner to your future husband, work hard, love him and give him a comfortable home

[shegie_285]

nicoletta thanks sis. that's what i want to be, a good partner. and i show him how much i appreciate all the things the he's doing for me.