How important is proposing, engagement ring, etc, to you?

[vanniety]

sadly we don't know your h2b

the usual kasi is if they bought the ring isusurprise nila yun pagbigay, minsan simple lang minsan naman special talaga or madrama pero there its not ordinary na may conditions pa para ibigay niya kasi kaya nga niya binili kasi he wants to give it to you

on a lighter side baka naman kasi obvious na gusto mo ng ibigay niya yun ring hehe inaasar ka lang or he just waiting for the right timing.

[sweetchick03]

haha. and all i needed was hm asking me formally even without that ring..
salamat sis! u kept me sane with this dilemma. ill just let this pass.

[spartan]

good luck sis. I hope the right materializes

[freeswan]

i think the question here is not about the e ring. the question is how did you know that you're already engaged?

[blushydamsel]

^i think tama si sis freeswan. pero sis sweetchick, ilang years na ba kayo? i mean, sempre, dapat kilala mo na sha diba. sha ba yung tipo ng tao na palabiro, ma-surprise, or all-out? saka medyo strange nga rin na kelangan may condition pa bago nia ibigay? sorry sis, just my POV.

[moonie]

Why do you say you're a 2011 bride if he hasn't even asked you to marry him?  Paano nangyari yon if you haven't discussed marriage?

[zandystar]

oo nga same question with moonie.

[pols]

ako din, medyo lost. pano kayo naging engaged kung he didn't ask you to marry him? ano yun, parang he just made a statement na magpapakasal na kayo without even asking you?

[sweetchick03]

we just sort of mutually talked about it on our 10th anniversary po.
thanks mga sisses.!
napraning lang ako....:-)

[Diane]

kinda relate to you sis. We planned the date and he even told me that he wants to marry me but i never told myself and feel im engaged na. i just told him, "pagpreparin mo ko w/o the e-ring? dont skip that part hahaha" .
pabiro pero may "laman"

and we are also been more than 10yrs already.

[*joie*]

i think it's okey na engaged kahit walang ring.. what's important is alam nyong committed kayo sa isa't isa.. we're getting married on july 10,2010.. and walang e-ring..

[bluewinkle]

I do not wish to sound like a wet blanket but here's my two cents:

My mother did not have an engagement ring and neither did my mother-in-law.  To me, it is a western concept that is not really that important.  Meaning, nice to have but not necessary.

What is important is that he has actually asked you to marry him and you have said yes.  Either that or he has already paid for the Church and reception reservation fees (in case he hasn't formally popped the question).

When my then boyfriend (now husband) and I would talk about wedding plans, I didn't consider myself engaged until we booked the Church.  Because unless there is concrete action, then it's all just talk.

[moonie]

^correct.  Wait for him to ask you to marry him.  It's not the engagement ring that's the problem.

[divine dreamer]

kami rin ni boyfie engaged pero wala pang e-ring..
7 years na kami.. college days pa..
we've been talking about getting married for 3 years already.. kaso lagi kong pinopostpone dahil sa family or work.. yung ganun.. until the last time we talked about "when", we decided na 2011 na talaga.. may date na rin.. pero i still find it too early to prepare.. but then again he surprised me by taking me to a bridal fair just last week..
so this has been going on for a few months already..making plans, looking for a condo (we already found one we really like and will hopefully move in 4th quarter of this year).. and i was puzzled all those time kasi nga naghihintay din ako sa ring so i didn't take things seriously.. whenever we talk about it i always say "kung matutuloy.." palaging may ganun so hindi siya nakatiis he asked me bakit daw parang hindi ako sure... i told him because i'm not really sure that he's sure.. wala namang ring eh.. and i just found out na some guys can really be clueless about it.. he had this blank look on his face..:p
the night after, i found out that he talked to his guy friend who's getting married this december and asked him about the WHOLE engagement ring thing.. if it's really necessary, if it "seals the deal", etc.. then he talked to me and apologized for being ignorant about those things (his words not mine).. :p and told me that he didn't want to ruin the surprise so he'll just "do the deed" pag nakalimutan ko na yung katangahan niya para daw new slate ulit..:p

i'm not worried and i know we'll push through with the wedding.. i think i know him well enough to be able to say this..
kaya tuloy ang preps!

i'm just worried about your case though, kasi parang ang labas pang blackmail yung e-ring.. na if you don't do what he says then you won't get it.. ano yun reward pang positive reinforcement? sana girl you really know your bf well kasi if he knows you well enough to marry you, and he accepts you for who you are then you don't have to do a damn thing.. ganun naman dapat diba? dapat tanggap mo na everything about someone before mo pakasalan and not because you were able to shape him/her into someone na magugustuhan mo.. medyo controlling ang boyfie mo sis, be wary..

[aquacharly]

 prob is , engaged na status ko and without an e-ring.

He told me pa nga, he wont ask the question, until I dont do this and that...basta marami pa siya sinasabi...

Naguguluhan tuloy ako if I still have a problem or he just doesnt want it to happen...

SWEETCHICK      There are certain universal Ground Rules best followed to minimize the risks of that BiGGEST Gamble called Marriage...

1st  Before you even plan how to play your cards well... If you have doubts, do NOT marry
     
2nd  When 1 marries another.... you take the person warts and all  (as it is, there are bound to be pleasant and unpleasant surprises that will pop up after the wedding)

3rd  Life-changing decisions, like marriage, must be clear ... hindi puedeng pakiramdaman/akala ko kasi eh/ let's play it by ear/assume assume assume

The way I see it, the way some who have posted earlier assess it.... it is in your best interest to sit your BF down and get everything down clear as daylight. 

      1st on your agenda:   Tell him what you can and cannot do that he told you are his preconditions. 

If it is something like getting out of a current live- in relationship, or getting an anullment, or ending your stay in a convent; ending a career that puts you in compromising situations... you gotta comply, it is but a reasonable request on his part...
Also, if it is something like waiting till you turn 18 or finish your college education... okay lang yan,  in consideration of your parents.

But:  do not go to Boracay again....   Hmmm,  Why, what do you do in Boracay?  Is it in the nature of "what happens in Boracay , stays in Boracay?"  Hmmm, think well of such conditions... coz even if what happens ought to not be just left  behind but buried under tons of boulders....  nobody should judge yourself but just yourself.  If the things you do, that he now wants you to cease and desist on before you become his Mrs. are matters you cannot turn your back on  --- let me caution you that you will eventually have a difficult time denying yourself such UNLESS you are convinced truly that marriage to that guy is worth your self denial and more.

So there, you have doubts, you are required to underake some make-overs/pre-conditions;  you are not clear about being engaged/en route to marriage in 2011...  there, your problem is not that you are engaged and have no engagement  ring yet... but that you are not even sure you can meet his preconditions (sabi mo ang daming sinabi eh and there is no certainty, IMO, in the tenor of your post) ... your problem is that you are not sure  you ARE engaged.

KNOW THYSELF ... it will clear your mind about his preconditions and where you stand vis-a-vis such;  it will clear your mind about the worth of this man to you in the long-run as in , forever???

[akthung]

ngerk. ano to? Haggler? may negotiations pa?

take aquacharly's advice. better be clear as day.

hindi basta basta niluluwa ang kasal. there are people who have regretted marrying early, or without that "clarity". habang buhay na sila nagsisisi.

[divine dreamer]

@aquacharly: very well said sis..  

[freshpicks]

im not sure if we're engaged. but to me hindi. although we already have joint property na lot which is under both of our names. does that count?
he hasnt popped the question yet though. i know he has the ring (we've been talking about it already) but ayun.. its still with him.  he's the realistic/practical kind of guy. when he bought the ring he said ayaw nya masayang kasi mahal so he wanted to make sure that he got the ring that is according to my taste. so there.

[sweetchick03]

parang e are on the same boat sis.
Hays, ill just let this pass muna.
I cant rock the boat yet.
But im keeping an eye on him...
^ galing naman sis, may properties na kayo. ako, I keep my properties to my name muna...

[fds4eva]

nowadays, parang option lang naman yun engagement ring. I got engaged without a ring with my bf of 8 yrs. bawi ka na lang sa wedding ring nyo