Baby na o wag muna??

[mlee]

...they'd say: 'sayang naman'.

ano bang masasayang ... kung masaya ka naman? bakit ba ang hilig hilig nila mag comment as if they are living in your shoes?!

Biro nyo naman sabihan ako ng ganito ng isang mahaderang nanay "Hoy bakit di ka pa nabubuntis? Nagpatingin na ba kayo? Siguro baog ka no."

sis, i cannot believe how blunt and how taklesa naman nung nag sabi niyan sa inyo. I feel bad that you had to hear those words!

Buti na lang very supportive at love na love ka ng hubs mo. Mas ok talaga kapag partner mo, kakampi mo.

[twelvth_goddess]

^^That's extremely irritating. If I were in that situation, baka nasampal ko pa yan...

My hubby and I have been together for almost 5 years but we only got married last April. I took pills until October simply because I didn't want to get pregnant without being prepared in all aspects. All of my husband's brothers have kids but we never got pressured to have our own until we decided it was time. That's when I stopped taking pills. Now I'm 5weeks pregnant.

When I wasn't pregnant yet, people had all sorts of comments and questions even as far as thinking that there might be something wrong with either of us. They think that being a couple means you have to get preggy immediately. This is the same mindset that has caused poverty in our country. Hello, madale magbuntis pero hinde ka lang naman basta maglalabas ng bata na parang pumitas ka lang ng mangga noh.


One funny thing pa, my inlaws' maid is this baby factory who likes to sell her kids after having them. Since mejo bago lang sya ang alam lang nya is married kame ni hubby but wala pa kameng baby. Sabe ba naman nya to my sister in law, bakit daw wala pa kameng baby, baog daw ba isa sa min and wala daw ba kame balak mag-ampon. My sister in law said 'eh kaka-kasal pa lang nila noh'. I told my sister in law na sana sa ken nya sinabe yung comment nya kase para nasagot ko sya ng maganda. Gusto nya yata ipaampon sa min yung pinagbubutis nya. Hello, napaka-ambisyosa nya ah kaloka..You'll be surprised at how narrow and shallow some people's minds are.

[sue323]

ano bang masasayang ... kung masaya ka naman? bakit ba ang hilig hilig nila mag comment as if they are living in your shoes?!

My thoughts exactly. I don't really feel that we lack anything. 

@twelfth goddess- Congratulations!

[mlee]

Hello, madale magbuntis pero hinde ka lang naman basta maglalabas ng bata na parang pumitas ka lang ng mangga noh.

hah! I love this!

You'll be surprised at how narrow and shallow some people's minds are

I was very surprised, actually. That's why I had to post. I just can't believe how in these times, some people are still under that kind of thinking.

I was watching Oprah a few weeks ago about marriages around the world. And was at complete admiration towards Denmark's culture and treatment towards women.

In Denmark, women are not expected to be married and/or bear children. It's a no-no to ask a woman in Denmark about her relationship status or if she has any kids! They are paid as much as a male counterpart would receive. They get the same benefits as men do.

But that's Denmark. Although, every body, should atleast know how be thoughtful enough not to ask something inappropriate, right?!

[twelvth_goddess]

Thanks sis sue323 =)

Sis mlee that's what really frustrating about pinoys noh? Some can be very prying and tactless.

[Tigershark09]

i have been on both sides kaya mas naiintindihan ko yung feeling nang pine-pressure mabuntis. sa sobrang galit ko nga noon sinabi ko sa isang friend ko na kulit ng kulit na kung nabibili lang ang baby, bumili na ako ng isang dosena kaya huwag niya akong busitin. "nakaka-babae" na kasi minsan. yung feeling na dahil wala kang anak, you are less of a woman than them. sobrang galit ko noon hanggang sa namanhid na ako. noong manhid na ako, doon ako nabuntis dahil nagdecide na ako noon na whatever happens, i'm happy and i'll be happy may baby or wala.

pero noong nagka-baby ako, happy din ako. doon ko na-gets bakit sobrang big deal sa kanila ang may anak. pero at the back of my mind, sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko, never kong pinagyabang or pinintasan yung mga walang anak kasi alam ko yung feeling. kasi if God will give it to you then thank you so much for the gift but if not, God will shower you other forms of happiness naman. Yung happiness and contentment kasi ikaw ang nag-de-decide niyan, hindi naman ibang tao.

[sue323]

 It's a no-no to ask a woman in Denmark about her relationship status or if she has any kids!

Here in Finland, those things aren't small-talk topics either. Pero pag pinoy kausap, usually yun agad ang tanong. And if you'd tell them that you don't have kids yet, they's ask: bakit? as if there's something wrong with you. When will they ever get rid of such primitive way of thinking?

[gcarrie]

i can relate. although us not having kids is not by choice. like some sises here, may problem kami ni hubby. i can so relate to those insensitive people. i even vowed to one person na i'll never speak to him ever. i was so hurt kasi.

kasi if God will give it to you then thank you so much for the gift but if not, God will shower you other forms of happiness naman. Yung happiness and contentment kasi ikaw ang nag-de-decide niyan, hindi naman ibang tao.

true sis. madalas may mga simple wish ako o little prayers na surprisingly ang dali ko nakukuha. then i would realize parang siguro it's God's way of making up for not giving us what we so wish for..

reading your posts mga sis lift my spirit and give me comfort...thanks..

[mlee]

sis gcarrie, I wish that your wish be granted The baby will come in due time! Just to give you a little more encouragement - I have a brother in law who was married and they didn't have kids for 10 years. He and his wife was the butt of jokes sometimes. But God has blessed them last year with a healthy, super cute baby boy. He was 35 and the wife is 34.

The wife had 2 miscarriages. But they went to the doctor for check ups and also found out that her ovulation was during her period days and that's why for years hindi sila makabuo. Well, they now have one.

So, sisters who do want babies - don't lose hope!

[xonix]

totoo yan.. nakaka pressure, nakakainis talaga mga taong ganyan. ang sagot ko lang, ok lang kasi nag e enjoy pa naman kami. hindi naman ito contest kung baga paunahan sa pagbubuntis

[liz17]

hi sisters,

ako din sobrang inis na inis na ako sa mga taong ganyan, lalo lang ako na-stress sa kanila. imagine 2 mos pa lang kaming married as of today and even before na wala pa kami 1 month married people are asking kung buntis na. mahina daw si husband etc etc. minsan gusto ko sigawan, kung gsto niyo kayo na lang ang mag pabuntis. parang feeling nila nabibili ang baby sa store. kakainis talaga!

[liz17]

hah! I love this!
I was very surprised, actually. That's why I had to post. I just can't believe how in these times, some people are still under that kind of thinking.

I was watching Oprah a few weeks ago about marriages around the world. And was at complete admiration towards Denmark's culture and treatment towards women.

In Denmark, women are not expected to be married and/or bear children. It's a no-no to ask a woman in Denmark about her relationship status or if she has any kids! They are paid as much as a male counterpart would receive. They get the same benefits as men do.

But that's Denmark. Although, every body, should atleast know how be thoughtful enough not to ask something inappropriate, right?!

sana ganito din culture sa atin. kasi these are private matters. dito kahit di mo ka close kapal ng face magtanong and worse even comment...

[Cheesecak3]

Bago kami nagkaroon ng anak, it took us 3 years din kaya sa time na yon ang dami talagang nagtatanong kung kelan kami magkakaanak at hindi ko na lang pinapansin.

mahirap pero kung pipiliin mong hindi magpapressure sa mga makukulit wala din silang magagawa.

[maribeth]

I was watching Oprah a few weeks ago about marriages around the world. And was at complete admiration towards Denmark's culture and treatment towards women.

In Denmark, women are not expected to be married and/or bear children. It's a no-no to ask a woman in Denmark about her relationship status or if she has any kids! They are paid as much as a male counterpart would receive. They get the same benefits as men do.

But that's Denmark. Although, every body, should atleast know how be thoughtful enough not to ask something inappropriate, right?!

This is also true here in Holland. Even in job interviews, di rin nila pwedeng itanong sa iyo kung buntis ka. Oh no, not allowed. And when it comes to salaries, pareho din naman sa lalaki at babae They don't look at the gender when they are offering you a salary. They look at your qualities...

[mommyquel]

I didn't read all the replies in detail...just browsed them...but tigershark09's replies caught my attention.

I agree with you sis, kung ayaw pa ng babae mabuntis, so be it. But she has to be cautious of her body and health. So that once she's ready to be pregnant, she can reduce if not totally eliminate the risk...lalo na, the older the woman gets, the more risky the pregnancy would be. And this is very true in the case of my friend...she had endometriosis, then nun nabuntis na sya she found out she has APAS (anti-phospholipid antibody sydrome)...daming naging issues sa pregnancy nya before she was able to deliver her premie baby.

Yes, being a parent of your own child can be a choice, and you may decide the timing of when you want it to happen. But it is also a blessing not all couples can have.

Naalala ko lang din ang eldest brother ko who got married at the age 29 and had his first child at 30. Now that he's 44 and the child is on 2nd yr in HS, he realized that he would already be in his 50s by the time his first kid finished a 4yr course degree.

[mlee]

hi mommyquel,

you're right din sis. na pag uusapan nga namin niyan mag-asawa. If we do wait longer, we will be in our 60's by the time our kid gets married. Not so exciting lol

it's nice that this thread is well balanced in opinions which is wha I was hoping for!

Nakakainis nga lang is the questions. Minsan kasi, nakaka-personal na ang dating.

[mommyquel]

Yeah, nakakainis nga..kasi minsan ang dating sa yo is meron issue sa capability nyo to have your own child...parang nasasaling na kasi ang ego nyo esp your husband. & minsan pa kelangan mong mag-explain despite the fact that you don't owe them one.

hi mommyquel,

you're right din sis. na pag uusapan nga namin niyan mag-asawa. If we do wait longer, we will be in our 60's by the time our kid gets married. Not so exciting lol

it's nice that this thread is well balanced in opinions which is wha I was hoping for!

Nakakainis nga lang is the questions. Minsan kasi, nakaka-personal na ang dating.

[lovelymaeve]

hi sisters,

ako din sobrang inis na inis na ako sa mga taong ganyan, lalo lang ako na-stress sa kanila. imagine 2 mos pa lang kaming married as of today and even before na wala pa kami 1 month married people are asking kung buntis na. mahina daw si husband etc etc. minsan gusto ko sigawan, kung gsto niyo kayo na lang ang mag pabuntis. parang feeling nila nabibili ang baby sa store. kakainis talaga!

this is exactly ang nangyayari sa kin.

[artegirl]

been married for almost 6 years and no kids.  even before we got married, alam na namin ni husband na ayaw muna ng baby.  plan namin in 2-3 yrs to give us time to adjust to married life.  kaso nung nag 2 yrs, 3 yrs kami, we're still nowhere near wanting the responsibility of a baby.  kaya sabi namin in 4-5 yrs.  ngayon, ayaw na namin mag sabi ng no. of years.  we just don't feel that we are responsible enough to take on the huge responsibility of being parents. nung bago pa lang kami mag asawa, kairita mga taong usisera.  they can't understand na we are not ready to be parents.  sabi, para ano pa daw at nagpakasal kami, kung ayaw namin ng anak.  Ganun ba yun?  yun ba reason why people get married?  kaya siguro yung mga couples naman na hindi talaga magka-anak naghihiwalay.....

[sue323]

^ang babaw naman kung yun lang ang reason ng paghihiwalay. It was a wise decision to first prepare for the challenges that parenthood can bring. There are people na di muna nag iisip, then later on you'd hear them whining,   kesyo they can't do much kasi kailangan mag alaga ng mga anak.